Why there is a feeling of loneliness. There are several types of feelings of loneliness. Constant loneliness, what to do
People are lonely, because instead of bridges
they are building walls.
More often we hear and read from women with families and children that they are single. Some explain their feeling of loneliness solely by the fact that the husband has lost interest in them or has completely immersed himself in work, in a hobby, and has ceased to pay attention. Because of this, the woman felt abandoned and “useless”.
Other women find themselves unbearably lonely because their marriage is crumbling under the pressure of mutual misunderstanding and lack of emotional connection. And their beloved husbands cheat on them with their mistresses. And there is no strength to endure this betrayal of a loved one. But we have to live together, because there are children, a common apartment, and we are used to each other. They live hard and joylessly, alone together, but they cannot part.
Third women suffer from a sense of loneliness, because they do not find any meaning in family, entertainment, and indeed in this consumer extravaganza of life. They retire voluntarily, and do not allow anyone into their lives, while at first they are comfortable in their solitude, and only being among people, especially on holidays, they acutely feel their loneliness.
And some consider themselves the smartest, so much so that they cannot communicate with the "lagging" opposite sex. They not only cannot find a match for themselves, but consider it a pointless exercise. Lonely and proud, ONE among the fools ... They feel discomfort, but do not realize its causes.
Why do people feel lonely?
Loneliness has many faces, manifestations. I am not talking here about human-pleasing loneliness or physical solitude. It is about an internal negative state - not feeling connected with other people: I AM ALONE.
Man is a collective being, and develops only among people and thanks to them. And humanity is a single system, self-developing and self-regulating, where each performs a specific function. It is like cells and organs in the human body - they perform their function for the sake of the life of the whole organism. The cell that has ceased to perform its function for the benefit of the integrity of the whole body is destroyed by the system. The correct cell is not.
So it is with people who in their suffering came to the feeling of "I am one". Any suffering tells us that a person does not fulfill its role given by nature... What is this role today reveals system-vector psychology, and hence the reasons for such conditions as loneliness.
We are used to looking for the reasons for their feelings of loneliness in the external environment - a husband who does not understand us, changes, in people - idiots, an imperfect world that does not give us what we deserve, but not in myself.
Modern knowledge of the eight-dimensional structure of the mental person allows you to accurately differentiate your states and understand the reasons for the feeling of loneliness. Moreover, you can do it yourself without visiting a psychologist.
The problem of loneliness is more relevant for people with visual, sound and anal vectors in certain states.
The feeling of loneliness of the visual vector: I want to love, but I am bound by fear.
A feature of the visual psychic is a high emotional amplitude, sensitivity, desire to get closer to a person, to express his feelings to him and get a response. People with a visual vector more subtly feel the mood, emotions of another, and enjoy being close to a person... They are the ones who can truly love: selflessly and selflessly.
When they are deprived of this opportunity, they suffer. In fact, it is not someone who deprives them of the opportunity, but they do not implement themselves correct your true desire.
“…. I found out that he had been walking all our life together ... I followed the link from his mail and read his correspondence on the dating site ... I told him about it, he began to deny, said that he no longer sits there, that there is such more will not, only loves me, like our relationship just didn't go well, so he was looking on the side of distraction. I always believed him, even when I realized that it was stupid and he was definitely cheating. He swears in love, tried more than once to drive him out with weekly hysterics, but he says that he will not leave. That's how we live.... I feel so bad, lonely and hurt... I believed him so much, but he always used it, he will not spend the night at home and will come as if nothing had happened ... "
For example, it seems that there is a beloved husband, but he changes / nil. And she can no longer give him love because of the resentment that stifles her. And the fear that arose that her husband would leave her alone, fetters her feelings. Fear does the exact opposite to us - it makes us feel sorry for ourselves and demand feelings for ourselves in order to enjoy them, to extinguish our fear.
Visual loneliness is always "missing a person." So I want an emotional connection with him, but I do not realize this desire by action... I don’t realize my rich emotional amplitude - I don’t give my feelings of love, affection, tenderness, and I suffer from this.
The feeling of loneliness of a visual person can also be associated with a lack of reciprocity, a response from the object of attachment. Unrequited love can make the viewer very lonely and self-pitying.
In any case, whether or not there is an object for creating an emotional connection, if I feel loneliness, then I do not realize my feelings outward - to this world. I began to consume them for myself: they are afraid for themselves, and feel sorry for themselves. I have built a wall of fear between myself and people, and it gets thicker every day, because my heart is silent.
The feeling of loneliness of the sound vector: alone among the fools.
A feature of a person with a sound vector is a constant inner search for meaning in everything. Egocentrism, its property, thanks to which he is focused on his inner world, on his thoughts, trying to express hidden states in words. This is his innate desire, and desires for physical world he doesn't. The world outside is illusory for sound specialists, since there is no desire for it, like other vectors. Due to such features of the sound mental, and he has his own task - feel the states of another person as your own.
Solitude and silence, night time are very comfortable for sound professionals, in these conditions they can calmly hone their thought. Therefore, the sound experts say: "I love loneliness."
The egocentrism of the sound specialist is given by nature and is simply necessary to focus on one's states. However, it also becomes an obstacle to developmentand cognition, because focusing directly on yourself leads to the growth of emptiness, a feeling of loneliness and depression.
Sound loneliness as suffering - in the sense of not feeling people, the world for which I have no desire initially. One on one with his thoughts and states, closed on himself, separated by his thought from the "mediocrity" of the rest, sound engineer mistakenly concludes that he is genius... I'm the only one smart and seeker, and everyone around is fools.
This is a dangerous condition that can result in a complete loss of sense of reality, as described here: http://tarvic.livejournal.com/50369.html. But this may not happen if every sound engineer uses an instrument to become aware of his psychic.
Feeling of loneliness in sound-visual people.
One part of the psychic of such a person is visual, seeks to create an emotional connection with a person, and the other is sound, wants to come in solitude, think about the meanings and merge with God. Both of these parts in me, complement each other, and do not quarrel when I realize both desires outward. It looks like this: a visitor who wants to get closer, actively gives himself to people, shares his emotions, listens, empathizes, readily responds to the moods of others. We usually say that a person is in a good mood. And suddenly, a person moves away from people, becomes thoughtful, requires peace and loneliness, keeps his distance. We usually say - he is in a bad mood today. In fact, a person was naturally thrown into sound after filling with visual desire, and this is temporary. This is a normal alternation of states in sound-visual people.
Contradiction and suffering arise then when there is no implementation these vectors, their natural roles. On the one hand, I want loneliness: my sound part of the mental requires solitude, withdrawal in order to compensate for external traumatic factors, for this I do not need people, and on the other hand, I suffer a lot, because I cannot fill my visual desire - to give feelings to a person ...
The desire for the sound vector is dominant, and if a person experiences bad conditions for a long time - depression, a feeling of loneliness, he will not be able to follow the visual desire and go outside to people: to notice the beauty of nature, mood loved one, understand his condition. On the contrary, he is closed in his egocentrism and cannot sense people. It is impossible to get out of such loneliness without awareness of your states.
Feeling of loneliness in the anal vector: resentment and memories.
The loneliness of a person with an anal vector is very often associated with the inability to enter into a relationship due to the rigidity of the psyche. The psychic of anal people is turned into the past, which in their sensations is always better than the present, and the more frightening the future. A feature of the psyche of anal people is that they slowly digest changes, they do not know how to switch themselves quickly (in comparison with a skin person).
A man with anal vector often hostage of first relationship experience... For example, a man (with a skin vector, of course) has long left the family, remarried, and she is an anal, faithful and honest woman who sits and suffers, and believes that you can still turn back ... that you just need to wait and he will return ... Sighs, remembering how good it was, grieves, cries. At the same time, a resentment against the person who left her settles in the soul. This destructive feeling that "not given enough, and I deserve" is constantly growing, making it impossible to act and enjoy life. And life passes in resentment and complete loneliness.
Often, people who are insecure, with low self-esteem suffer from feelings of loneliness .. html
When the visual vector is added to the anal vector, the person suffering from a feeling of loneliness says that no one needs him, that he is not interesting. Visual emotionality multiplies anal resentment, it is difficult for a person emotionally, he is inactive, not knowing how to, not knowing how to get out of the emotional trap:
“... fear, fear of being misunderstood, fear of being turned away from you, etc. according to the list ... but, I want to note, this fear is justified, not from nowhere. for obvious reasons ( there have been many negative experiences in the past, deception and betrayal) now I have enough it's hard to believe that someone might be interested in me... "Taken here: http://begushie.ru/
Today people are born multi-vector, and the presence of all three designated vectors in a person, if they are not realized, is manifested by tremendous suffering, and even serious illnesses.
There was a period in my life when I suffered from a feeling of loneliness. Knowing how it works is a huge relief. Now I know for sure that the path from loneliness to happiness begins with understanding yourself:
Before, I did not fit into collectives (I judged people), everywhere i felt my isolation, separateness... I have been producing the wrong thoughts in my life. I began to understand...
If earlier i hated the whole world, or at least individual situations or individual people, now I have established a connection with this "hated" world, and to tell the truth, this connection is now positive.
…emptiness, huge black hole... You don't want anything, you live by inertia, you don't live, but you pull the strap of being, every day, like groundhog day. Eternal insomnia, millions of fears, no interests. Not a man, but a ghost, and life somehow passes by and wasted.
... at home went crazy alone... or slept 14-15 hours a day, trying to forget. What now? Changes.
… Again not to get out of bed, again there is no strength and desire to go somewhere, to do something. You tear yourself off the bed, the player in your ears, the music is louder and somewhere far away from here into the world of pleasant sounds and beautiful poetry. Taking off the headphones, you realize that nothing has changed ... in you ...
The article was written using the materials of the training on systemic vector psychology by Yuri Burlan
Loneliness can inspire poetry, music, and paintings. But while the material can be good, research shows that loneliness is extremely detrimental to health. Science has linked this psychological condition to high blood pressure, metabolic failure, and the risk of developing heart disease and diabetes. Not to mention how loneliness leads to depression.
Also, research by the American Association of Pensioners showed that 35% of those over 45 were single.
Below are 10 strategies for dealing with this sad condition.
1. Understand what loneliness is.
"There is a difference between solitude and loneliness," says Sanam Hafiz, a licensed clinical psychologist in New York and a faculty member at Columbia University College. "Both terms essentially mean one person; however, these are different ways of thinking," she continues. It is very common to think that in order to feel good and worthy, external confirmation of this and other people around is necessary. Solitude is rooted in choice and the world. And when someone enjoys solitude, he / she begins to value connection above all with themselves. They can enjoy spending time with someone else, but they don't need to. "
2. Start with small steps
When you feel isolated, it can be difficult to rebuild social connections. This problem must be solved gradually, in small steps.
Understand that you are not alone in the literal sense of the word - go to a large supermarket, take a walk in the park, sign up for courses, let other people around you. It is important to keep moving forward and taking steps of social interaction in any form.
3. Get to know people live
Social media heightens the feeling of loneliness, when all interaction with people comes down to viewing their profiles and photos on Instagram. While services such as VKontakte and Odnoklassniki offer real connections, they also overemphasize the success of others.
Close apps, put your smartphone and laptop aside, and spend time with people you know in real life. There is no alternative to personal interaction, there are only aids.
4. Smile and say nice things
A smile and compliment given to everyone you meet during the day will cheer you up and those around you. It also initiates and strengthens bonds.
Simple rules of interaction: smile, compliment and ask something. The fourth step can be an invitation to go somewhere.
5. Walk more often
A walk is not just a path from point A to point B. Walk: notice the world around you, stop to look at beautiful things or listen to street music. Say "hello" to the person you like, wish them a good day - and you will be surprised how many positive connections you will make if you use this method.
6. Talk to strangers
It sounds embarrassing, and Bulgakov advised not to do this, but by starting to greet people in the elevator, you get to know your neighbors, and a small conversation with the seller in the store near your home provides a way out of your routine and comfort zone.
Writer Kyo Stark argues that even brief interactions with strangers enhance our sense of well-being.
7. Call
Phone calls and video chats give you a sense of presence with people who are currently away from you. Schedule calls as you would a meeting: chat with a friend for half an hour, an hour; do this regularly to strengthen your connections and make them meaningful.
8. Sign up for courses
Find like-minded people with specialized events. Are fond of foreign languages? Have you long wanted to learn how to cook like a chef? Do it.
9. Reach out to someone who is also lonely.
In our loneliness, we may not notice that someone near us is also lonely. Invite someone who seems isolated to you for a walk or coffee.
This is not always an easy task, but by helping your "ally" in this trouble, you will help yourself.
10. Get professional help if you need it
Go to a psychological consultation, discuss your problem with a psychotherapist, dial the helpline number. Our souls need healing as much as a broken leg would need it. Do this if you feel like you can't handle it yourself.
This is how strong relationships are built and feelings of loneliness and emptiness are destroyed. On mutual respect.
And do not forget that if you are ready to establish close relationships, then not always the person will reciprocate you. It can lead to bad moods, depression and feelings of loneliness, but this is the law of the world. The only thing I can advise in this situation is to move on without wasting time on empty grievances. Each person has his own opinion, and we must respect him!
You are in protection mode
This may sound pretty weird, but are you pushing people away? I'll explain now.
Body language plays a huge role in communication. When talking with a person, look at yourself from the outside. Are you actively listening? Or are you constantly distracted and interrupted? Have you made eye contact? Does your body language increase interest in the conversation? Or are you trying in every possible way to show that you are striving to leave as soon as possible? This is another reason why you feel lonely.
The flip side of this coin is that you are simply surrounded people who do not need new acquaintances and friends... In this case, try to change your social circle.
Try to be more open, show interest in the other person, and feel free to ask questions. People just love when they are really heard and understood!
You spend too much time on social media
It would seem that social media is the perfect weapon against feelings of loneliness. But this is not the case. As I said above, you can have 1000 friends on Facebook or Vkontakte, but how many are real?
Research has shown that the more time you spend on social media, the stronger your feelings of loneliness can be.
It is then that we feel lonely, even when we seem to be not alone at all (after all, we have many friends on social networks).
So, we figured out why there is a feeling of loneliness and what to do about it. Summing up all of the above, we can come to the conclusion that important role plays openness, yours and your interlocutor, mutual respect and social circle. In addition, do not forget that it is necessary to spend energy and time on developing relationships, but it is worth it - you will forever cope with the feeling of loneliness and emptiness.
Knowing yourself.
One of the reasons for loneliness is condemnation and dislike of others.
Many, many people in the world suffer from loneliness. And most of them think that loneliness comes from unfortunate life circumstances.
However, make a person lonely, of course, his sins and passions. Any sin is like a thick board covering the window of the soul. And when we feel lonely, when we have thoughts: “Nobody loves me, nobody understands”, then we will not blame anyone for this. All the reasons why we feel lonely lie in our own heart. We ourselves, by our sins, have closed the windows of our souls for people. And getting rid of loneliness is easy. The more we strive against sin, the more our heart is cleansed of passions, the less we feel alone.
One of the most common causes of loneliness is JUDGMENT.
We can say that loneliness and condemnation are akin ailments of the soul. A judgmental person, wherever he may be, is always dissatisfied with his surroundings. He wants to see his neighbors next to him who would have no shortcomings, but he will never find such. Elder Emilian discusses this in an interesting way: “We want our neighbors to deny themselves, surpass themselves, overcome their weaknesses, become prosperous and holy. And then we, together with them, will become successful and saints. But this cannot happen. "
The most correct way for us is to deny ourselves, transcend ourselves, overcome our weaknesses.
It is noticed that it is precisely the one who condemns who himself has not gone the path of fulfilling the Gospel commandments, who has not experienced this work. And in order to overcome condemnation, we need to acquire such an attitude: the law of God was created for me personally.
Another remedy against judgment is never to meditate on your neighbor. Our hearts, our minds are clouded by passions, and if we allow ourselves to reflect, then we inevitably have sinful thoughts, including thoughts of condemnation.
Elder Emilian (Baphidis) very accurately describes how this happens:
“Usually, when a person thinks, he considers everyone to be worthless. This one does not work well, this one does not pray, does not have faith, the other does not have love, hope, he does not love God. In the slightest time of reflection, our mind can become a place full of wrecks, because it is impossible, if we start to reason, not to consider others unfit. And even if I myself do not know all the bad sides of a person, Satan will find them for me. "
The thought of our neighbor becomes the starting point of our distance from him. The more we talk about a person, the more and more we move away from him. And what can bring us closer? If we do not allow ourselves a single thought of our neighbor, if we replace every thought with prayer, then naturally reverence for our neighbor appears in our souls.
The neighbor becomes a shrine for us. You can worship the shrine, you can admire it and kiss it with the fear of God, but the shrine cannot be roughly grasped and viewed from all sides. In the same way, we do not consider our neighbor, do not evaluate, we do not submit to the court his merits and demerits, but only reverently worship him as the image of God.
There is only one thought about our neighbor that we can afford. It sounds like this: what does my neighbor want? Does he need anything? And such thinking is not only allowed to us, but even commanded. In any situation when we are with our neighbors, we must think about their needs. Abba Isaiah has, for example, such a teaching: "When you walk along the road, listen in all the thought of the weakest among you, whether he needs a little rest."
See how he says: "Pay attention in all the thoughts of the weakest among you." That is, be empathetic, be attentive, try to understand, feel what the other person is feeling. Especially if this person is somehow weaker than you.
Whoever we are with, we will try to forget about ourselves and focus on our neighbor: how does he feel? What does he want? We will try to catch and fulfill his desire before he himself asks about it. When we force ourselves to this, then our heart softens, we stop condemning. We sympathize with our neighbors, and they all become dear to us.
It is very important to fight condemnation at the very beginning, to cut off the first thoughts. If we succumb to condemnation, do not fight with it, then our heart is filled with DISPUTE for our neighbors.
And this passion becomes another reason for loneliness. Many people think that hostility arises for objective reasons - because the neighbor is ugly or not smart enough, or with a bad character. In fact, our neighbor is never to blame for our dislike. If we feel dislike, it means that our heart hurts, we have a wrong, distorted view of our neighbor.
This is how Elder Emilian describes such a state: “When someone else enters our life, we begin to fuss, worry. On the one hand, we want someone to come to us, talk to us, love us, fill our loneliness. But when a neighbor really appears in our life, we are immediately ready to drive him away, condemn, scold him, say “no” to him and demonstrate with all our appearance that his presence burdens us ”.
I remember one incident, which at first glance was insignificant, but it made a great impression on me. This happened when we went to see Father Nikolai Guryanov. Father Nicholas always had a lot of visitors, and among them were very different people. And then one day an old man came to him, of a very nondescript appearance. It was evident that he was from the village, quite simple, poorly dressed, with some sort of basket over his shoulders. When he was walking to Fr. Nikolai, the priest saw him from afar - and he beamed all over with joy, began to shout to him: "Come, come here quickly!" - although this old man was not even familiar to him. Father Nicholas's heart was overflowing with love for his neighbors, and he saw the image of God in man behind the simplest appearance.
And when we force ourselves not to pay attention to the petty shortcomings of our neighbors, then their virtues, the beauty of their souls, are revealed to us. We notice how many beautiful, worthy people around us
Sometimes we dislike people because they seem to treat us badly. “This man always looks at me with a frown. And this one never greets me, ”so we think. But let's look into our soul. The reason why a person is cold towards us, most likely, lies in the fact that we were the first to show coldness towards him or badly thought about him, and he felt it.
Here is how the righteous John of Kronstadt writes about this: “Our spiritual dispositions, even not expressed by external signs, strongly affect the spiritual disposition of others. This happens all the time, although not everyone notices it. I am angry or have unfavorable thoughts about something else: he feels it and likewise begins to have unfavorable thoughts about me. There is some means of communicating our souls with each other. "
The dislike of people for each other is a kind of ghost, consisting of random thoughts. As a rule, there are no serious grounds for dislike. But just one person accidentally looked at the other gloomily, and he answered him with a cold look - and now they both are afraid and avoid each other. And they do not know what the closeness between their souls is, how deeply they could love each other if they did not pay attention to random words and looks.
And how many such cases have happened: two people look at each other with dislike, but one decides to overcome this quiet enmity. He fights against thoughts of hostility and actively manifests his love - in a smile, in a kind word, in any help. And now the other also responds, softens, and they become close and dear people.
I would like to read one touching example from the works of St. Nicholas of Serbia: “One peasant said:“ Between me and my neighbor, enmity arose like thorns: they could not look into each other's eyes. One winter night, my little son read aloud to me the New Testament, and when he read the words of the Savior: "Do good to those who hate you," I shouted to the child: "Enough!" All night I could not sleep, I kept thinking and thinking. How can I fulfill this commandment of God? How can I do a good deed for my neighbor?
And one day I heard a loud cry from a neighbor's house. After asking, I learned that the tax authorities had stolen all the livestock from my neighbor in order to sell them for debts. As lightning pierced my thought: behold, the Lord gave you the opportunity to do good to your neighbor! I ran to court, paid taxes for the man who hated me more than anything, and returned his cattle back. When he found out about this, he walked around his house for a long time in thought. When it got dark, he called my name. I walked over to the hedge. - Why did you call me? I asked him. He burst into tears in response and, unable to utter a word, cried and cried. And since then we have lived in greater love than brothers. "
It is natural for all people to love each other. This is how God created us - loving. And if thoughts of rejection arise between us, then we must understand that this is unnatural, this is an alien interference in our life, full of love and peace. The enemy erects barriers between us, but these barriers are very easy to remove. They disappear like smoke when we fulfill the gospel commandments in relation to each other.
In general, loneliness cannot be where the Gospel is being fulfilled. No matter what happens, no matter what misunderstandings occur between people, no matter what their characters may be, even the most incompatible - if they try to keep the commandments of Christ, then there will be unity and love between them. Let us think, what do the words of the Savior mean: "Where two or three are gathered in my name, there I am in the midst of them"? They can be understood as follows: when people, gathered together, communicate in the gospel spirit, then Christ blesses and sanctifies their community, and He Himself dwells in their hearts.
And vice versa, even if people are very close in character and interests, but they do not communicate in a Christian way, are guided not by commandments, but by passions, then there will never be true agreement between them, because there is no Christ among them. And each of them will remain lonely.
And I wish all of us that we strive in love for each other, that we waste ourselves for each other, and then our hearts will expand and God Himself will abide in each of us, according to the word of the Apostle: “No one has ever seen God. If we love one another, then God abides in us, and His love is perfect in us. "
From the conversations of the abbess of Dominica
Loneliness isn't always a bad thing. Sometimes people need it. I would like to be alone with myself, to realize new priorities, goals and objectives. In the end, everyone gets tired sometimes and needs a reboot. It is in solitude that brilliant ideas, masterpieces of art are born. But there is another, painful feeling of loneliness, when it seems to a person that the whole world has turned away from him. Feelings of abandonment are difficult to deal with, even if you have family and friends. How to be? Let's listen to the advice of psychologists.
Feeling lonely is a disease of the new time
The faster technologies develop that provide access to surrogate communication through phones, social networks and instant messengers, the more people suffer from a lack of live communication and a feeling of abandonment. These are interrelated phenomena. Man is a social being. It is vital for him to feel that he is useful, someone needs him. In periods when it seems that the world is indifferent, it covers with a wave of pain.
When there are no family and friends, the feeling of loneliness is understandable. But where does it come from if a person is all right? There are several reasons for the feeling of abandonment:
Chronic fatigue. Constant employment and stress are not in vain. At the end of the day, there is simply no strength left for full communication, joint activities.
Superficial communication. Often we are afraid to talk about our experiences, so as not to hurt family and friends.
Lack of intimacy. The daily routine sucks in, we become indifferent to each other and no longer want to ask how things are, so as not to listen to long monologues. But it is precisely such conversations that help to establish full-fledged contact.
Feeling worthless. Performing the same actions day after day, we cease to realize their meaning. It seems to us that we are useless and of no interest to anyone.
Psychologists note that women most often experience a deeply hurt feeling of loneliness. They have a finer mental organization than men, so the need for warm friendly communication is higher.
A study from the University of Chicago found that loneliness negatively affects health and life expectancy. A depressing feeling suppresses the immune system and has an effect on the body, comparable in strength to 15 smoked cigarettes. It provokes cardiovascular diseases, nervous disorders. But that's not all. People who are tormented by a feeling of abandonment are alienated, closed from loved ones, and it becomes more difficult to help them every day.
The good news: loneliness must and can be fought. To overcome negative attitudes, follow the advice of psychologists.
1. Change the pictures in front of your eyes regularly
Walk more often, or even better, leave for the weekend in unfamiliar places. A boring home and office environment reinforces the negative feeling. When people and objects begin to flicker before your eyes, and your hearing picks up unusual sounds, the depressive state recedes. A trip to nature or to a neighboring city will give new impressions and emotions.
2. Connect with like-minded people in reality and on the web
Look for people with similar interests and hobbies. If you can't make live contact, find suitable groups and communities in the virtual space. Read the forums where they discuss issues of concern to you. Very quickly you will realize that you can be useful, interesting to someone, and loneliness will recede.
3. Choose: TV is your friend or foe
If you spend a lot of time in front of the TV, then it's time to pull yourself out of the cycle of events in other people's lives. Stop watching the stars and socialites and go out into the real world to communicate with real people. As a last resort, read a book.
There is another way. You can find an interesting series and delve into the plot for a while, tracking other people's experiences. This will dull the pain of loneliness, but it will not completely eliminate it. The choice is yours.
4. Movement is life, including social
Physical activity is a versatile remedy for many mental ailments. Going in for sports, you give your body the joy of movement, stimulate the production of hormones of happiness. Sign up for a gym. Here you will find new acquaintances, peace of mind and a sense of self-confidence. Works flawlessly!
5. Communicate with people just like that, without a special purpose
We are so fixated on ourselves and our experiences that for a long time we have not paid attention to those around us, but communicate mainly on business. Call an old friend, ask about his affairs and listen carefully. Make it a rule to communicate without a special purpose, but simply for the pleasure of other people. Then they will more often show a sincere interest in you.
6. Stop seeing the world as a hostile environment
Seriously, you think that no one is interested, and the world around you is hostile? Well, then learn to deal with your fears. Decide to act as if everyone around you is friendly but sometimes upset. Communicate with others based on this attitude, be sincere and open. You yourself will see how your ideas about the world and people will change.
7. Selflessly Help Those Worse Than You
Take a break from your problems and look around. There are a lot of people who are doing much worse than yours. They need help. Having provided it, you will understand that you are important to the world and carry out a certain mission. Compared to other people's worries, your worries will seem petty.
8. Work and career growth are also good
Find new career goals, develop and become the best specialist in your field. Surely you have room to grow. The next achievements will increase your self-esteem and open up prospects. New interesting acquaintances will appear. But be careful: get plenty of rest and don't turn into a workaholic.
