Why I am not needed. "Nobody needs". Where does the feeling of one's own uselessness come from and how to overcome it. Become someone needed

“The day ceases to seem bright when I stay with myself. Nobody needs me! What is it worth living for? ”- many women face such an idea. When you feel like a burden, and those around you less and less often notice you, you feel emptiness inside. There is no one to talk to heart to heart, everything seems insignificant and you just want to fall through the earth. How to stop suffering and learn to value yourself? You are not alone and you will be able to start all over again! Read to the end for some valuable tips

Where does the feeling "no one need" come from?

When I had a good relationship with a young man and then they broke off, my colleagues ignore me, and this friend, who hasn't been picking up my calls lately, why is the whole world avoiding me? A similar feeling accompanies many girls at various stages of life. Someone cannot improve relations with others at the age of a student, and someone experiences difficulties in communication at an honorable age.

« Who needs me and what am I doing wrong in trying not to feel lonely?”Is a great question that helps to tune in to a new wave of changes. When a girl feels like a burden to others, she automatically shuts herself off from perspectives. It is difficult to talk about happy relationships, friendship with interesting people, success in a team, if you constantly think about your insignificant position.

« I lost myself and now I cannot muster the strength to start everything from scratch.”Is a great signal to start taking action. A sense of alienation arises from the personality with its environment. When the daughter did not feel the love of her parents, the girl did not know the sincere love of her partner, did not feel much support from her friends - this is how inner pain arises.

If you constantly ask yourself: “ Don't I deserve to be happy? What can I do the best I can to get out of this horror?", Then you can tune yourself to a new rhythm of life. When the inner voice, under the pressure of the ups and downs experienced, joys and disappointments, says to change everything immediately, it means we must not hesitate! Combat readiness is exactly what makes a person angry with himself and the circumstances on the good side. It is worth being motivated, and not gradually burrowing into the sand with your head and pretending to be!

The story of one girl says: “Of all the friends of the school and university, she has only one friend left. Recently, the relationship with her began to decline - she could not answer calls, ignore when seen on the street and show fake friendliness. Our heroine fell into a deep one, because she just needed someone to speak out, to feel banal support.

The feeling of her own worthlessness haunted her. There is no one to call, cry, and there is simply no strength to quit the bad habit of becoming limp for any reason. Our heroine said to herself: “I know that I deserve it, but now it's time to“ tie ”everything and. Who needs me more than myself? I've had enough! "

From a short story, you can see how much a person wanted to change circumstances in a good way. The abandoned person syndrome occurs regardless of age, wealth, or status in society. Sooner or later, everyone feels the emptiness that needs to be occupied. The sooner we realize that time is the most valuable resource that cannot be spent on dramas, then the picture of the world will become clearer.

What if nobody needs you?

The phrase "Nobody needs me" from a woman's lips does not mean claims to a guy, envious girlfriends, but her sincere feelings. If inside you realize that life is a single divorce, quarrels, conflicts, then it is important to analyze the situation closer. What is the root of all evil? Often in adulthood, a woman feels a lack of attention, which she was not given in childhood.

It turns out that the same child with a sense of inferiority is hiding in the guise of an adult. Under the influence of life's troubles, painful sensations are exacerbated again, as many years ago. To finally get out of the critical point, you need to ask the question: "Who needs me and why do I need it as a person?"

When you are alone on a desert island and you see a ship, even if it is pirate, you will give signals anyway. But our life is not a bay where you need to let just anyone. The desire to be loved, heard, understood should not be blind persistence to seize someone's attention.

If a lady wants to find a worthy husband, she should work on herself both externally and morally. She should not be flattered by the false compliments of unscrupulous men for whom she is a one-night victim. The realities of life show how important it is to respect and, at the same time, be open to others. This balance will not allow yourself to be deceived, but will also help to attract the attention of others.

How to stop thinking to a woman that no one needs her:

1. Appreciate the moments of loneliness.

Perhaps, right now, the Higher Forces did everything to make her think about the prospects for development and her own. When you always live with temporary hobbies with other people, you can easily forget about.

2. To be needed by someone.

You cannot always be withdrawn and close yourself off from the initiative to help others. Society appreciates reliable people and people who are ready to support. If a girl is ready to prove herself in some area and goes to a meeting, people will begin to notice and appreciate her.

3. Stop being a gray mouse.

Constant "boo-boo-boo, I'm not like that, they are all like that" - such thoughts can go crazy. There is no need to make a gloomy face, constantly turn the day into the end of the world, not to enjoy the most ordinary moments of life. Cheerful and cheerful people are rarely alone - others are drawn to them.

You go to work, walk down the street, go home and ... you understand “it turns out that nobody needs me. You won't get a call from a friend, the family has fallen apart, the work is declining. " How to break the deadlock when it seems that everything is going against you? When life crashes and you stop believing in the best, it's time to get to know yourself. How to find the strength to live on? It's time to listen to yourself and start a cardinal reboot of consciousness! Read to the end and you will no longer experience the feeling of loneliness.

Where does the feeling “no one need me” comes from?

It so happens that you peacefully go to work, give energy to those around you, and in return ... nothing. It is the feeling of emptiness that eats up from the inside and does not allow breathing freely. Needless to say, even good weather does not bring joy, as it was a few years ago, when you could go on a picnic with friends. Any attempt to get everything back will lead to failure.

“I have lost myself and cannot find the strength to continue my usual business again!”, - such a thought pushes a person into self-isolation. Sitting face to face with your feelings about broken relationships, misunderstanding of others - this makes you lose faith in the best. Reproaches from relatives, unsuccessful attempts to get to know a girl, and these eternal refusals to find a job - how can you not stop thinking that the world is against you?

Who needs me, when everyone around is fixated on their image, you can't even count on regular communication? Do not blame others for ignoring your ego. People do not always deliberately act against a person in order to bring him moral damage. Everyone finds their place where their participation is required at a particular moment in time. If a person is fixated on outside attention and this closes him in himself.

Negative thoughts, which constantly flicker in my head, are reflected in the behavior of a man. From this constant stress that affects the physical condition. From here and excessive sleepiness, irritability, isolation in society, sexual problems and other unpleasant symptoms. Free time, which is freed from the influence of other people, can be spent on.

A guy may not suspect that time without a girl, noisy companies can be used wisely. Loneliness is not a sentence, but a given chance to become stronger, more successful. There is no need to think "I am not needed by anyone, I was abandoned and now I am like an empty place"! You don't need to worry too much about this - maybe right now is the time to change your view of your environment and start for your actions.

What if nobody needs you?

I have lost myself or how to avoid the symptoms of frustration:

1. Do not engage in self-flagellation.

It occurs when a man is engaged in idleness. Feelings of boredom can be destroyed by the important things you need to do. In general, goals are a useful thing. They keep the body and mind in good shape, preventing any prejudice from penetrating into the innermost.

2. Positive thinking.

Without it, you will not reap the harvest, nor will you succeed in any business. It is important to see the world from the angle "I believe in good, I will do everything to get out of this state."

3. Become more open.

Often the problem of loneliness is a man's unwillingness to make contacts with others. Girls rarely come up and get to know each other on their own, so colleagues can be on their own and will not give you time. and - the main skills that others value. The result may be surprising - people will immediately begin to gravitate towards such a person.

4. Work on the external image.

Dress style, physical characteristics, gestures, neatness - this is the "face" of a person, which presents him in society. Who needs me if I don’t take care of myself, I’m always slovenly and slouched over? A representative of the stronger sex will be the soul of any company, if he begins to follow the speech, looks neat, wear things in good condition, and maintain hygiene. Maybe this is where the problem of loneliness and denial of you in society is hidden.

5. Be truthful with yourself.

If a man avoids responsibility and does not take on any business, does not want to see his shortcomings, to fight addictions, the feeling of discomfort will constantly accompany him. The people around them love reliable people who are responsible for their words.

Statuses “no one needs” when you want to get at least a drop of warmth. These phrases will help you feel very small, but much needed support.

No gifts needed. You just need understanding

1. I know that nobody needs my problems. But worst of all, I don't need them.
2. I don't need anybody. I need you with your flaws.
3. I love freedom very much. But sometimes I cry. Maybe I was made to love her?
4. You just haven't considered me to the end. It's a pity. Now we both were of no use to anyone.
5. I often say that nobody needs me. And why do I forget that my mom needs me?
6. I never wanted to devote my life to those who are not worthy of it. So what if you stayed alone?
7. You just don't let me fall, you don't need constant support. But this way I will know what you really need.
8. You just hinted to me that you have nothing against an open relationship, and I already thought that you do not need me.
9. Believe me, the one who once turned out to be completely unnecessary will appreciate love and kindness.
10. Thanks to everyone who made it so difficult. Who knows, maybe without you it would not be so easy now ...
11. It was important for you to get me. Yes, you don't care, but I turned out to be of no use to anyone. Why are you hurting?
12. I had plans. I had hopes. I had dreams. But then you destroyed everything ...
13. I belong only to myself. I must remember this, and remember every time I think that you need it.
14. I care who is next to me. Therefore, you shouldn't think that nobody needs me !!!
15. For the sake of a loved one, spare no time, no effort, no desire. The main thing is that you are your loved one ...
16. We have a strange world. You can be the most beautiful girl on the planet and still be lonely.
17. Are you asking why I'm so cold? Because some have taught me not to trust people. Never.
18. My smile does not mean anything, it is fake, just like your promise that everything will be fine with us ...
19. Love breaks its wings. Let not everyone, and not much, but it hurts in the very heart!
20. You can be lonely and needed by your friends. Or you can be with a guy and still feel unnecessary.
21. Do you think you left and nobody needed me? But no matter how it is, you didn't need me either.
22. From childhood I loved loneliness. Therefore, I am not afraid of the fact that you talk so calmly about parting.
23. I'm running away from problems. Too often. Therefore, she became abandoned, and generally useless.

The problem is not that nobody needs me. The problem is that I don't need anyone anymore!

If all you are feeling is sadness and sadness, you should not type unnecessary messages. Tell us about everything you want in the statuses “when nobody needs you”.

1. Loneliness always comes unnoticed. And it is then that you feel that no one needs it!
2. If you don't need me anymore, please leave and close the door on the other side. I'll figure it out further.
3. You know how to hit harder. You didn't just leave, you destroyed my world. Why are you doing this to me?
4. I have many acquaintances, and it seems that there are many friends. But I'm lonely. This is normal?
5. We have long been loyal friends with loneliness. And I'm not at all sad that I was abandoned ...
6. Work saves from loneliness. Did someone say this is hell? Well, this is salvation for me.
7. I have no more tears to cry. This is not the first time I have been abandoned. It's okay, I can handle it.
8. I will soon collapse from fatigue. There is no one around me, but I only need a few words of support.
9. It's simple. If you are lonely, then you have not found your person yet. There is no need to kill yourself.
10. I realized that this was the final. That no one will come back to me. You can say you need to start life anew!
11. I don't know you, and I know little about you. But I'm afraid to get close. I'm afraid to be abandoned.
12. I am infinitely lonely. I am angry because even in this status I cannot fully describe how I feel.
13. We parted and parted. It feels good. But when it's night ... I can no longer hold back my emotions.
14. They say that mom is the dearest person in the world. But what if she left you?
15. Nobody needed me for too long. And finally I understand that I didn't need anyone!
16. If you feel bad and everyone left you, please do not be left alone. Don't let sad thoughts overwhelm you!
17. The saddest thing is not that I am now sitting here alone, but that my hope has been shattered. Completely and forever.
18. No, this is not an option just to run after you and wait until you at least look at me. We need to forget you.
19. Got it? Well, let. Loose my hair, put on a dress, and start looking for love. A little more, and you are in the past.
20. The most difficult is the memory. Not the future, not the present, but something that never happened.
21. You are indifferent to me. And, it seems, he did nothing bad, but I feel that you didn't care ...
22. There is one big hole inside. Call it emptiness or meaninglessness what you want.

Nobody calls, writes, and I don't care

The status is about what no one needs when you don't know how to get rid of lousy thoughts. These phrases will definitely not be intrusive, they will only decorate your status bar.

1. I love to hurt myself. Every evening, sitting alone, I remember how people threw me.
2. I didn't want to tell the whole story, but I can't take it anymore. They abandoned everyone who could. Why are you doing this?
3. There is no sense in this at all. Anyway, then you find yourself useless!
4. I don't need any rewards for courage. May the one who walked for so long come to me at last.
5. You never needed my soul. It doesn't matter to you what's wrong with me, whether I'm alone or not ...
6. Everyone from time to time feels that they are not needed by anyone. I think I do this too often.
7. I will not go with you. You left me, and I got over it. But I promise you it won't happen again.
8. Someday you will need me too. But I will do the same to you, even if revenge is bad!
9. I am often abandoned by everyone. Probably because she is strong. And what, you have to be weaker?
10. I want to be weak in your arms. But you leave me, abandon me to the mercy of fate!
11. More recently, I was happy. And I did not know that everything can collapse like this, in a second.
12. Don't be afraid to put an end to it. If you see that there is no way out, just leave.
13. I didn't need anything from you. Just a little care. Is it really that hard? Or is it a pity?
14. If it was possible to remove all those who abandoned, from the heart, then it would be easy to live.
15. The worst thing is to realize that sad statuses on your page will be seen by everyone except him. Because he doesn't care!
16. No, not you. Please do not leave me at such a difficult moment!
17. There were different people on my way. Thank you good. But the traitors ... we'll talk with you later.
18. You promised that you would always be with me. Honey, I think your conscience is broken!
19. Forgive me, people, if I was cruel to you. Other people made me like that ...
20. You need to believe in the good. Not true. You need to believe in yourself if you don't want to be abandoned.
21. And nothing like that happened. Everyone has their own worries. I am alone, and no one is to blame for this.
22. Fate taught me to smile. It helps. And believe me, real emotions are not needed by anyone.
23. I am very few years old, but loved ones abandoned, friends abandoned, my beloved abandoned. What is it for me?

There is a moment in life when a woman suddenly clearly understands that no one needs her. And this is not at all "filling a price for himself" in front of a young man, not a way to beg for a new gift from his parents and not "female conversations" with a friend. It is a distinct sensation, which means that there is emptiness and coldness in the middle. And nothing matters: having a family, children, an apartment, a car, working with a large number of colleagues ... There can be a lot of everything around, and the feeling of abandonment and uselessness comes to the fore.

Why is this happening?

Quantity does not always mean quality

Very often, the reasons for such a feeling are the qualitative changes in relations, while the visible, quantitative ones may not change. Therefore, it can be very difficult to understand such loneliness from the outside. Envious people begin to say that you are "mad about fat", but in fact, profound changes are taking place in the types listed below.

• Changes in the number of friends you are interested in. This type is more inherent in young girls. It so happens that at certain times people begin to disagree in views, hobbies, life values, and the level of ambition. Yesterday you were one whole, together worried about the marks. And now: one decided to give birth to a dozen children at once, the second went abroad, and the third is constantly lost or began to tell things that are completely uninteresting to you. You are left feeling empty and useless. Head up! Life is just beginning. At least, such a nuisance clearly demonstrates those people who are ready to stay with you forever, to share all the sorrows and joys. Perhaps this situation was given to you on purpose in order to finally appreciate those people who were and will be with you - your parents, and perhaps - that one friend whom you did not notice before.
• If you are stuck or in trouble in your workplace. Often we are completely self-actualizing in the work area. This is great and correct. But, do not substitute concepts. Work is a huge field of activity, but that's not all. Remember how in the movie "Office Romance"? It is impossible for one thing to replace everything. The broader interests in life, the more diverse hobbies, the more chances that at least one area will now be an outlet.
• If your relationship with significant people has changed. Still, most often, the feeling of uselessness begins to haunt the moment when an understanding of a change in attitude begins to come from the side of a significant person, and more often from a husband or beloved man. Although such a trigger can also be relationships with children. And here the main problem is self-esteem and awareness of one's role and place. Often a woman is ready to sacrifice herself to relationships and people. She devotes her life to equipping the life of a man or completely devotes herself to children, forgetting that they are separate individuals, and not its continuation. Naturally, she wants gratitude and "constant presence" in return. Yes, she gives so much of her energy that she is unable to let go of a piece of her work. But, a man begins not to appreciate such an amount of attention, and children grow up and want to build their own lives. So a woman begins to feel deceived and unnecessary. And this is the most frequent and most painful experience.

So what do you do about it?

Ask yourself the question: "Were you happy doing everything, everything for someone?" If so, then this is the main gratitude for you. You didn’t really do good to someone, you did happiness to yourself and that is what you enjoyed. So now you just need to find someone else you can do useful: do charity work, get an animal ...

And if you were deeply unhappy with what you did and did it through force, do you really want your loved ones to experience similar torments in return? Really, as a reward for what you suffered earlier, you want to see how a loved one will suffer now? This is, in your understanding, true love - mutual suffering and curtailment of your happiness? If so, then you are doomed to feel useless. Because no one wants to endure this, except for masochists, and therefore - they will try to distance themselves from you. If you really begin to understand that you would not want to cause suffering to others, simply do not understand how to build your life differently, you should seek the advice of a psychologist.

Where does this behavior model come from?

In fact, the feeling of uselessness and as compensation for it - sacrifice, begins to form in very early childhood.

Unfortunately, now parents are forced to work hard and do not always pay the necessary attention to the child. The baby may feel unnecessary even then, not being able to just talk or hug with someone close to her. And this can strongly influence both the self-esteem of the future woman and develop certain protective mechanisms. One of which is the aforementioned variant of sacrifice in a relationship, when a girl, and then an adult representative of the fair sex, crawls out of her skin, as if wishing to assert herself: "Look how good I am, you should love me."

Such persistent disappointments are hidden by our subconscious too well. After all, such sensations are traumatic, and therefore - subject to destruction. But, cognitive rethinking and annihilation does not remove emotional traces at all. That is why such things should be worked out with a psychologist. After all, it is he who will be able to deduce not just the rational: "I am not angry with my parents." He will be able to bring back a little girl who will "talk" and understand her parents. And most importantly, she realizes that the point is not at all that they did not need her, but that objective reasons prevented her relatives from devoting more time to her.

What should be done?

The main axiom says that a self-sufficient woman with good self-esteem cannot be useless to anyone, because she is needed, first of all, for herself.

Why, then, do you need to address your emotional experiences through some kind of value assessment from others? Is it really so impossible for you to be yourself, and not an attachment to someone? Even if this application has such beautiful names as mom or wife. Be yourself first and foremost. Understand where is your personal boundary, what is your integrity? This is very difficult for many women. Answering a simple question: "what would you like for yourself?" They begin with the words: “I would like my husband (son, daughter, grandson, granddaughter) to have ...” If the situation is very familiar, then this is your option. You should definitely see a psychologist. It is important to rethink your value and personal boundaries to avoid further disappointments in the future.

If you don’t want to "stir up the past" now and you are not ready to rethink your boundaries, there is another piece of advice - just become needed again. There are a lot of people in the world who need help. Moreover, an open, joyful and active person cannot but attract more and more new acquaintances. Whereas a gloomy, problematic and "prickly" person is unlikely to cause a desire to communicate. Be an eternal ray of light. Successful people never show that it is difficult or bad for them. Because the problem entails another problem. On the contrary, the example of the richest and most popular personalities today urges you not to be afraid of dangers, never lose your dignity and never complain.

New hobbies and hobbies help just as well. And, of course, trips, especially active ones related to physical activity. The fact is that the feeling of uselessness causes additional mismatches in the human body. Imagine that a person repeats out loud that no one needs it. Therefore, no one needs these arms, legs, head, internal organs. How can such an organism “not be offended”? Of course not. So it turns out that chronic pains, troubles with the gastrointestinal tract and many other problems that we do not even associate with a psychological basis can be companions of experiences. Movement and pleasant experiences can help combat these symptoms. The body moves, positive emotions force the body to produce the appropriate hormones. And a living organism does what more than one machine is not capable of - it regenerates itself.

In conclusion, I would like to give an example when a small child approaches a girl crying on a bench and asks: "Aunt, why are you crying so bitterly?" And she answers: "because nobody needs me!" To which the kid is very much surprised and says: "Why did you ask everyone in this world, even me?"

Unnecessity is a personal perception of your situation and a personal assessment of your experiences, therefore, it is extremely subjective. Be yourself needed, appreciate and take care of yourself. This is not selfishness, this is the best way out of such situations.

Everyone has such days when it seems that the whole world frankly does not care about us, thoughts float in his head - "I am not needed by anyone", "everything is bad." But sometimes this feeling accompanies not just certain periods of time - it becomes a part of life. Oh yes, people may be interested in asking the standard "How are you?", For example, at lunchtime at work. But after a working day, a person returns home and, willy-nilly, begins to ask the question: what to do if no one needs you?

What can you really do if this feeling of loneliness comes along? Let's take a look at a few guidelines to help you deal with it.

• First, you can try the following exercise.... Make your own scrapbook of memories. You can conventionally call it, for example, "Love bit by bit." It is best to view it in advance, not yet in a state of depression. To create your own "love album" you need to collect all the good memories in one place.

  These can be photos from a vacation where you have fun with your friends; or those on which you are hugged by close people - parents, grandparents. They will serve as confirmation that there are and will be people on earth who care about you. When you feel that no one needs it, you just need to open this album again to remind yourself of this. It does not have to be in paper form; you can create a collection and on your computer desktop.

• Second tip - don't let attention fool you... Since attention is switchable and selective in relation to objects in the outside world, it is sometimes very easy to be misled about other people. For example, you can consider yourself the loneliest person in the world if the concierge has not bothered to remember your name in two years of work, and also if the only person who congratulated you on your birthday last year was your second aunt. Falling into negative feelings about this, you can, for example, very easily miss the fact that five minutes ago your girlfriend wrote you an SMS message just like that.
• Learn to cope with the surrounding reality, accepting it for what it is... Yes, you heard right. No friend or therapist can get you out of the reality you are in. There have always been, are and will be people who really do not care about you; who would never go on dates with you or become your friends under any pretext. However, it is absolutely necessary to continue to cultivate a sense of self-worth, self-acceptance. Be honest with yourself about your positive qualities. Never underestimate them.
• In work on yourself, do not neglect the use of well-known measures... These are tips like shifting your focus to an activity, exercising, or taking a short break at a time when you feel particularly lonely. There are several reasons for using these techniques. Firstly, this tactic will help you avoid many troubles, for example, a street fight, big money spending, or alcohol abuse. The second reason is the fact that we all tend to misperceive reality in times of despair. In particular, it is worth slowing down a little if you need to make certain decisions or take action.
• Know your attachment style, and learn to be tolerant of the attachment style of others. Even if he is avoidant. This does not mean that you need to achieve friendship with those who do not want to communicate with you by all means. But it really means accepting the fact of who these people are, who they are.

  In total, there are several styles of attachment: it is a confident style, anxiously ambivalent and avoidant. Confident is formed in childhood, provided that the parents give the child enough care and attention, do not ignore his needs. Such children grow up to be quite decisive people, able to build harmonious, trust-based relationships.

  An anxiously ambivalent style is characteristic of those who, on the contrary, in childhood lacked parental love, especially in those moments when it was needed most of all. Such children grow up to be very anxious people, they often experience difficulties in relationships. And it is they, unfortunately, who most often ask this question: how to live on if no one needs you?

  Avoidant style is characteristic of children whose parents constantly rejected their needs. In experiments conducted by scientists, babies with this type of attachment practically did not respond to the appearance of their mother after separation. Developing an avoidant attachment style also affects the ability to build meaningful relationships with people in the future.

  Ironically, very often people with opposite types of attachment enter into relationships. For example, a girl who is ready to send bulk SMS messages every day starts dating a young man who forgets his phone at work every other day. Cases of such relationships are not uncommon. Therefore, you need to treat with understanding both yourself and the other person. And one more thing: you can try to change your behavior if you regard your style as avoidant, or anxiously ambivalent.

  But give up all attempts to change the other person. It's like banging your head against a brick wall, expecting it to crumble into crumbs and your head stays in place.

So, even feeling all the bitterness of loneliness, you can be guided by common sense and make decisions that are useful for yourself. Surrender to the feeling of isolation from the world and despondency, or to take a closer look at the phenomenon of your loneliness in more detail - it's up to you!