Psychological dependence on a person: why does it arise and how to get rid of it? How to help someone cope with depression

When someone close to us falls into depression, it cannot go unnoticed for long. Many faced with such a situation ask themselves questions: how to help a person close to me in depression, how to support him?

But the main question rather sounds like this: how should I behave with a person who is depressed.

No matter how much we want it, a depressed person, by his mere presence, even in our thoughts, affects our well-being and mood.

And gradually his sad and immobile state captures us. We ourselves begin to clearly feel all the hopelessness and lack of will that is in a person experiencing depression. This state pulls us in, so it is only natural that we try to protect ourselves from it, to put up a barrier.

Either aggression, humor, or escape often becomes such an obstacle.

Aggression, as a rule, manifests itself in words addressed to a depressed person: "pull yourself together, it's enough to become limp that you are like a nurse."

Humor is one of the most effective means of defense against external threats, which is someone else's depression, expressed in attempts to tell jokes, to try in every possible way to amuse a person.

Escape is that we try to spend as little as possible next to a depressed person, as if trying to erase him from our life with an eraser until he comes to a normal state from our point of view.

Defending ourselves from depression - we are running away from the person!

Only, unfortunately, this does not help a person get out of depression, rethink his life, his condition. After all, defending ourselves, we defend ourselves not only from someone else's depression, but also from a person. This means that we leave him to the mercy of fate.

And it seems that it is like a vicious circle. A person is depressed, we somehow try to cheer him up, he does not react to this in any way, we are seized by despair, we ourselves begin to feel bad, we distance ourselves from the person, the person is even worse from this, we, accordingly, too.

So is this really a closed circle, or can you somehow support a person in depression, while not getting into it yourself?

Of course you can, for this you just need to follow a few fairly simple rules.

I am not suggesting that this will help a person overcome depression, it requires a specialist psychologist who specializes in getting rid of depression. But following these simple rules, you will support the person in depression and, of course, contribute to his recovery.

How to communicate with a depressed person

There is power, there is will, there is no willpower

In no case, as much as you would like it, do not urge the depressed person to show their willpower to cope with depression. Take as a fact that a person at the moment has neither strength nor will, especially since he has no willpower.

Calling on a person to show willpower, you only achieve that he is once again convinced of the complete and unconditional hopelessness of his situation. Do not finish off the person!

Don't push the falling

If it so happened that a person close to you and not indifferent at the moment is in a state of depression, and you are already at the end of your strength, then in no way confirm his most negative thoughts and moods. Try to gently, almost imperceptibly, hint to him that no matter what you will be with him and his depression will end soon.

Just don't paint pictures of a happy and joyful future or appeal to the same past. This will only give him more reason to believe that life, in principle, is over.

Tell my mirror, but put the whole truth aside

In dealing with a depressed person, do not lose heart at all, even if every time every day the person reacts negatively to all your efforts.

You can't make nails out of such people

Any manifestations of depression: powerlessness, drowsiness, and so on, should not be mistaken for laziness. If a person has a need to express them, then listen carefully. Just avoid banal encouragement or snotty sympathy. Will not appreciate!

At the same time, if a depressed person wants to cry, then encourage him to do so! Let him cry! Remember that many of those who are depressed cannot cry! Therefore, if your loved one cried, then this is a good sign.

Don't rush - don't make me laugh

As mentioned above, we very often resort to humor to protect ourselves from negative influences from the outside. And it seems to us quite normal to support a sad person with humor.

Only a depressed person is not sad, his emptiness is much deeper than ordinary sadness. And your fervent state not only may not help, but on the contrary will show him even more the abyss that exists between him and you.

During depression, the sense of humor often disappears. And the person himself becomes very sensitive and vulnerable.

Therefore, avoid anecdotes, funny stories, and hilarity in the presence of a depressed person. Be careful not to resort to irony and sarcasm.

Things to do? Then, then ...

Don't let the depressed person make important decisions in their life. Depression and depression and thinking are not the best helpers for a realistic outlook on life.

By the way, remember that vacation on the stress scale is not far from divorce, and divorce is not far from death. loved one, therefore - no vacation to rest! The only thing that a person can afford is a slight decrease in the workload and household chores. AND EVERYTHING!

Discipline should be

Despite all the compassion and understanding that you should have, do not let the person blabber: watch and gently lead him to maintain a normal normal life.

One of the consequences of depression (as well as one of its symptoms) is sleep disturbance, from which there is a violation of the daily routine, forgetting about usual personal hygiene.

Therefore, support in a person the desire for an even rhythm of life: to get up at the same time, do not lie in bed, do not go to bed too sooner or later; take care of yourself: take a bath, brush your teeth, and so on.

Be a caring but reasonable parent to him

Depression is characterized by a person's escape into the state of a frustrated Child in need of care, even if the person himself denies it. Therefore, become a caring parent for him. But don't overdo it, or the benefits of depression will be even greater.

Let's summarize all of the above:

1. Show the person your involvement and understanding of their emotional and mental state.

2. Free him from important decisions

3. Behave with him calmly, evenly and confidently.

4. Support him in performing the necessary vital functions, gently lead him to the realization of the need to continue his life

5. At the same time, draw his attention to everything that he manages to do himself, but without unnecessary joyful intonations. And be prepared that he will devalue them at times!

6. If a person begins to show his creative inclinations - encourage this and help him if he has such a desire.

Of course, the above list is not complete. Much depends on each specific case, on each individual person.

This is just a kind of compass for preliminary orientation of you in the area called Depression.

I deliberately did not give you clear, step-by-step and specific advice on how to behave with a depressed person, since any clear instruction can run up against stiff resistance from a depressed person, and then you will get lost and quickly return to your usual reactions.

Therefore, take everything written above as a guideline and think for yourself how you can implement them in relation to your loved one and significant persondepressed.

And all will be well. Believe it at least you!

Best regards, Ivan Gavrilin, your personal psychologist!

Separation or divorce can be stressful and traumatic. Most people find it difficult to move on when a serious relationship ends in their lives. Such individuals may feel sad, frustrated, and embarrassed.

Parting makes people feel insecure and timid. This brings a lot of uncertainty about the future. In this article, we will introduce you to the advice of psychologists on how to cope with a breakup.

Preamble

Home is so painful, because in itself this stage in life represents the loss of a loved one, all positive emotions, feelings, promises and obligations. The initial phase of a relationship is generally very lively and exciting. With all these dreams and promises you made to each other, it hurts a lot, especially when you are alone with yourself.

Now your goal is to get out of this situation as naturally as possible. Therefore, you need the support and management of yourself in order to start living anew as soon as possible. Let's find out how to deal with a breakup. These tips can help you deal with depression and stress after a breakup.

Don't force yourself to think otherwise.

So how to deal with breaking up with your loved one? After a relationship has ended, many thoughts may arise in your mind, and it will take you some time to think about them. Don't try to suppress them wandering in your head about previous relationships.

The appearance of such thoughts is a completely natural process, because everyone needs a certain amount of time to recover. Do not force yourself to think otherwise, do not throw thoughts out of your head. Your feelings will fade over time - that's a fact.

Don't torture yourself

Separation or divorce can reduce productivity. Don't be discouraged if you are unable to perform at your optimal level. Uncertainty about your future can lead you to force yourself to act radically while dealing with stress at the same time.

The best solution is to take a few days off. Spend them productively - hang out with friends or family, and then you can return to work with renewed vigor and energy. Regular exercise and jogging will also help you reduce your stress levels.

Let yourself feel the pain

If you are unsure of how to deal with a breakup, then use this advice. You may be scared. After all, you will allow yourself to feel unbearable mental pain. Your emotions may be too strong to deal with, and you will keep thinking about it anyway. This is very good, because this is the only way you can give yourself time to grieve and heal your soul.

The pain of grief will help you deal with stress and agony and then move on. Regardless of how involved you were in the relationship and how intense your sorrows were, relief will come either way.

Chat with other people

If you want to figure out how to cope after a breakup, then you have to leave your cozy comfort zone and get out into the outside world. Spend most your time with friends or family. Share your story with them and let them help you get out of it by giving suggestions and sharing ideas. It is important to understand that you are not the only one who has faced such a phase in life.

There are many support groups that can help you get through this stage, where people share similar stories and give advice on how to get out of this situation. You can also interact with people who have broken up in the recent past and ask them how they got back to normal.

You definitely have a future

Many people wonder how to deal with breaking up with a loved one? After all, he was the whole world for you. Don't try to get through this situation as quickly as possible. After a while, you will start to feel normal. But it's important to convince yourself that this is not the end of the world.

If you allow yourself to be sad, angry, frustrated, and apathetic more than necessary, then you can destroy your positive vibrations.

Give up bad habits

Avoiding smoking, alcohol and drugs is another tip for how to deal with the pain of a breakup. Don't get yourself involved in something that will slowly kill you. Try to stay away from these things. Alcohol, drugs and cigarettes will have a detrimental effect on your health and productivity. These things will not help you heal and get back to normal.

You can see how girls and guys, after breaking up, go to a bar and drink one glass after another, but this is all a stereotype. Nothing helps the soul to heal more than sports and the moral support of friends and family.

Think about starting a new relationship.

How to deal with the pain of a breakup? Don't be isolated and certainly don't write yourself off. Sometimes the consequences of a breakup are so bad that you can lose all your trust in the opposite sex and start avoiding starting new relationships over and over again.

Spending a lot of time alone, living in the dark, endlessly thinking about previous relationships, you can make yourself even worse, thereby harming your emotions and feelings. This is great advice for anyone looking to learn how to deal with a breakup.

Learn to accept this fact.

Your mind will want to dwell on every little thing that you both said or failed to say in the past. And then the brain will want to jump to every possible future scenario. Resist this urge. When these thoughts come, recognize them, then collect and release them into the air. This will free your heart and mind so that you can focus on the present. Just accept the current situation, try your best despite the pain and resentment.

Understand that it doesn't have to last forever

If you want to know how to deal with breaking up with a girl or boyfriend, then take it as if it were a given. The hardest part about breaking up is that people think this situation will never end.

But maybe this is a new step in life for you, which opens up an incredible number of opportunities. Try to relax and see this whole situation as an additional chance of where you can be, where you want and with whoever you want.

Talk to someone you trust

Whether it's your mom, sister, or best friend, talk to someone who can listen and support you. However, choose the really necessary and loyal people who never use the knowledge gained against you - this is another piece of advice that tells you how to cope with breaking up with a man or woman.

You don't have to talk about all the problems you've had in your past relationship. You just need to find support on the side where the right people can understand your pain and help you cope with it.

Remind yourself that you still have a future. This means that in no case should you give yourself up. Give yourself time to grieve, but not too long. In no case do not prolong this apathy for a long period. As soon as you feel the first relief, then start living on. To do this, get busy, starting with yourself and your home.

First of all, tidy yourself up. Go to the hairdresser and get a haircut, visit the massage parlor, nail stylist and eyebrow artist. Do not exclude the possibility of buying yourself a new thing that will cheer you up. Never seize stress with food, much less drink alcohol.

Here are some more helpful ideas to help you deal with your heartache:

Develop new friendships

If you feel like you've lost your social value along with the breakup, then do your best to meet new people. Join a special interest network or club, attend classes, participate in community activities, or volunteer.

Take time every day to educate yourself. You can heal yourself by planning time for activities that can calm you down. You can even stick to a routine by working tirelessly. It is the routine that will help you return to square one.

Don't be in a hurry. Try not to make any big decisions in the first few months after breaking up. For example, take your time to start a new job or move to a new city. You will have time to do all this, but when you are already calm and less emotional.

Learn from your past and try to turn it into a positive one. If you are healthy and stable during the breakup, then your children will be the same. But if you find it difficult to cope with emotions at this stage of life, then do not hesitate to seek help from relatives, friends and even specialists.

Depression is a serious mental disorder that leads to pathological conditions that can be eliminated only with the help of a doctor. However, people often understand depression as the depression in which they find themselves when various troubles occur in their lives. There are many things that can lead to depression. The main condition is significance for a person. If a person loses or becomes unable to have what is meaningful to him, then he becomes depressed. And here it becomes important to be able to cope with depression on your own so as not to aggravate the situation so much that you will have to be treated with a doctor.

Absolutely all readers of the site psychological assistance the site is facing stress. What causes stress? Unpleasant situations, criticism, dissatisfaction with specific events or phenomena. Every day, a person is faced with something that he does not like. If he is unable to free himself from negative emotions that would otherwise accumulate, then the person may soon enter a depressive state.

Based on the above, two conclusions can be drawn:

To cope with depression, the situation that depresses you should not be meaningful to you. The loss of a large amount of money will be depressing, since a person has been accumulating them for a long time. If you lose what you have been working on for a long time, this can lead to a decline in strength and energy. A person should simply understand that in this world one can work on something for a long time and lose everything in one moment. It is unpleasant, painful and offensive. However, it depends on him whether he will grieve over what he has lost or will not give up and will continue to live on. Make the meaningful insignificant or less important, not as important as being able to live happily no matter what.
To cope with depression, learn to deal with negative emotions. If you keep them in yourself, then soon they will reach their peak limit, after which the person will either break loose or sink into depression. Why hoard something that does not bring pleasure and happiness? Think about it. Troubles will happen all the time, but why accumulate bad emotions that arise in this case.

The human psyche is unique - it is ready to live by the rules that a person dictates to it. However, from childhood, many people are taught to accumulate all the bad and not notice the good. Sages say that unhappy parents can teach their children to be just as unhappy. Such parents cannot teach to be happy, because they do not know how it feels. This is why there are so many people who continue to preserve their parents' traditions of sinking into discouragement, blues and apathy.

However, each person has a choice. If in childhood, while you were little, you adopted everything that was inherent in your parents in order to survive, now that you have already become adults, you have a choice - to be like your parents, or to become different, what you want. be. Each person has a choice to live the way he wants.

You just need to understand: if you decide to live differently from before, it will require a lot of effort and time from you. You cannot change your life in one day. It will take many months and even years to learn how not to give up, stay calm and be happy. However, if you try, you will achieve what you want.

How to deal with depression?

The problem of dealing with depression is becoming more common. The reason is that a person is not always aware of what is happening to him, which is why he is not able to find ways to quickly eliminate an unpleasant condition. To cope with depression, you must first acknowledge it. Moreover, one must not cherish this state in oneself, but see how happily one can live, how the world becomes uninteresting while a person is in it.

Depression has existed at all times. However, for some reason it is becoming increasingly difficult for a modern person to cope with it. What is the reason? Psychologists find answers in the way of life of the past and modern people. If in ancient times people were forced to lead an active lifestyle, to work physically, think less with their "smart" head and analyze the situation, then a modern person is less mobile, thinks more than he does, constantly focuses on troubles.

There is such an expression as "woe from the mind", when a person can have a lot of knowledge, but not use it or not know what to do with it. Modern man very smart, but his stupidity is manifested in the fact that he is simply not able to use his own knowledge. And the former person can be compared to a child who does not understand anything, but feels that he is unpleasant. He just does everything to get away from what is unpleasant for him.

Sometimes you just need to allow yourself not to be depressed. This is quite difficult to do until you understand that a person is able to manage his own states by himself.

What prevents a person from smiling?
What prevents a person from doing what they love?
What prevents a person from going out into the sun and enjoying its warm rays?
What prevents a person from simply saying to himself: “Enough. I'm tired of being discouraged "?

People simply enjoy the fact that they can do nothing, citing depression. If at first you can understand that a person is simply tired of constant failures or troubles, then then you can no longer call it anything other than laziness.

To cope with depression on your own, you need to wish for it first, and not just try or pretend that something is being done.

Change your attitude about the situations that make you depressed. The person is invited to reduce the importance of some of them. There is no need to worry about any reason, as this will only lead to exhaustion. It is better to focus on the important, and just take everything else as routine.
Remain calm in stressful situations. We will not suggest that you avoid stress. Just learn not to create situations for yourself that will stress you. At the same time, there is no escape from troubles. It is better to learn not to run away from them, but to easily cope with them.
Postpone important tasks until later. If you feel fatigued and unable to cope with something, allow yourself to resolve all issues later. You will still have time to solve important matters, but now allow yourself to rest.
Get plenty of rest. Depression suggests that, most likely, before its onset, you took on too many responsibilities and work, often faced with setbacks and inability to complete everything on time. If so, then spare yourself the burden of doing the work other people have to do. If you just work a lot, then reschedule some tasks until later to give yourself some rest.
Chat with people more often. Moreover, the social circle should be diverse and interesting. The more people you talk to, the less you get stuck on one thing. Topics with different people constantly overlap and sometimes do not coincide. Moreover, these people should be interesting in communication, pleasant and benevolent.
Pay attention to enjoyable activities. Things that are not interesting to do lead to depression. A person may have had to spend a lot of energy on doing things that do not give him anything good. Here you need to please yourself. Set aside time for your hobbies.
Move, avoid idleness. Depression develops where there is stagnation. Note that depressed people lie on their beds and suffer. Don't let yourself be lazy. Go in for sports. Go to the beach. Go shopping. Don't let your negative feelings lock you up at home.
Eat right. Moreover, do not forget to eat in principle. Many people are so carried away by their worries and affairs that they do not remember when they ate recently. It is easy to unbalance a hungry person. And if you are full, then you are more satisfied.

If all the recommendations did not work, do not neglect the help of a psychologist. Despite the negative attitude towards these specialists, it is better to take care of your own mental health rather than public opinion. It is better to get rid of depression with a psychologist than to spend your life always experiencing it.

How to deal with depression on your own?

It is possible to cope with depression on your own if you respond to its appearance in time. Mild depression is harmless. You can go hiking on sunny days, or go in for sports or physical work. However, with severe depression, things get more complicated. A person usually already revels in his condition and does not want to get rid of it, finding various arguments and justifications.

To cope with depression on your own, do not allow yourself to be locked in the house, close the curtains, and listen to sad music. You can afford this behavior for one day. But on the second day, dry your tears and go outside, to people. It is not recommended to resort to such methods of getting rid of depression as drinking alcohol, taking pills, going to nightclubs or other places where "free love" flourishes. Why?

Alcohol is ruining your health. You will have to drink every day to once again relax and not think about problems.
The pills will calm you down for a while. And then what will you do when their effect stops?
Nightclubs and other places with "free love" will not solve your problems, even if the cause of your depression is unhappy love or separation from a loved one. You need to solve all the issues with your loved ones or let them go and start living on.

To cope with depression, you need to realize that a person creates all problems himself. If you are faced with setbacks, because of what you suffer, then it's time to realize that you yourself created them. You have done things that lead to failure. Trying to find the guilty ones, you forget that you are guilty no less than others. Trying to find the answer to how to solve the problem, you forget that you have to start by changing your actions.

If depression has exhausted you very much, then you should admit your own powerlessness. Ask for help from relatives or friends. Do not be ashamed of your powerlessness. It is better to get rid of it so as not to plunge into depression even more.

How do you eventually cope with depression on your own?

You will have to change your lifestyle a little (actions, attitudes, daily routine) in order to finally cope with depression on your own. If you are ready to get rid of your condition that allows you to lie, suffer and be lazy, then start making changes. The inner desire is important here, not the external necessity.

". A very important topic, VERY! Because it's really difficult to communicate with some people - you talk for half an hour, and then you have to recover for half a day. They drain energy - and they do it very effectively. The 7 techniques described below really work. The main thing is to remember them, to observe them. And do not give yourself offense;)

The people who are the most difficult to love need love the most. ~ Peaceful warrior (This is a book. And a film based on the book. Interesting)

Have you ever dealt with negative people? If so, you know it can be terribly difficult.

I remember my former colleague who was just like that. During our conversations, she endlessly complained about colleagues, about work and about life. At the same time, she spoke very cynically about people in general, constantly doubting their intentions. Talking to her was not a pleasure. Absolutely.

After our first conversation, I felt completely drained. Although we spoke for only 20-30 minutes, I was neither in the mood nor in the strength to do anything else. There was a feeling that someone had sucked the life out of me, and it took three hours for this effect to go away.

When we talked later, the same thing happened. She was so pessimistic that her negative energy seemed to pass on to me after the conversation, and even left an unpleasant taste in my mouth. And you know, it bothered me a lot. I would gladly refuse to communicate with her if I could.

Then one day I decided that I needed to develop a plan of action - how to deal with negative people. After all, she is not the only person I will meet in my life. I thought, “For every negative person I meet now, there will be thousands of those I might meet one day. If I learn to cope with it, I can cope with everyone else. ”

With that in mind, I brainstormed the best way to deal with negative people.

In the end, I found a few key tricks to do this effectively. They can be very helpful in building good relationships with such people. And although I now deal more often with positive people, these steps come to the rescue when I sometimes meet negative people.

If you have such a negative person in your life right now, you don't have to suffer from him. You are not alone in your problem - I have encountered negative people often and have learned to deal with them. Let them try to put you down - you can choose how to react and what to do.

Here are 7 tips to help you deal with negative people.

Technique 1. Don't let yourself be drawn into negativity

One thing I've noticed is that negative people tend to focus on bad things and ignore the good ones. They exaggerate the problems they face, and therefore their situation seems much worse than it really is.

The first time you interact with a negative person, listen carefully and offer help if needed. Be supportive - let him / her know that he / she is not alone. However, make a note somewhere. If a person continues to complain about the same problem even after several discussions, this is a sign that you need to free yourself.

First, try changing the subject. If he (she) goes into a negative tailspin, let him (her) continue, but do not get involved in the negative. Give simple answers like "Yes, I see" or "Aha." When he or she responds positively, respond in the affirmative and enthusiastic. If you do this often enough, he or she will soon understand what is happening and become more positive in communication.

Technique # 2. Use groups

Dealing with a negative person can be very exhausting. When I spoke to my negative colleague, I was completely exhausted for several hours, although the conversation itself lasted only 20-30 minutes. This was because I took on all of her negativity.

To solve this problem, have someone else next to you when you talk to the negative person. In fact, the more people the better. Then the negative energy will be shared between you and other people, and you do not have to carry its weight alone.

An additional plus from the fact that someone else will be there - other people help to identify different sides of the individual. When others are around, they can help open up a different, positive side of the negative person. I've experienced this before and it helped me see the “negative” person in a more positive light.

Technique # 3. Objective comments

Negative people can be quite critical at times. They periodically release comments that can be very offensive, especially when directed at you.

For example, I had a friend who was very tactless. She liked to give various disparaging and critical comments. At first I worried about her words, wondering why she was so critical every time she spoke. I also wondered if something was wrong with me - maybe I was not good enough. However, when I watched her interact with our mutual friends, I realized that she behaved the same with them. Her comments were not personal attacks - they were her usual behavior.

Realize that the negative person usually doesn't want to hurt you - he or she is simply trapped in his or her own negativity. Learn to deal with negative comments. Objectify them. Rather than taking his or her words personally, personally, consider them as another point of view. Peel off the husks and see if you can benefit or learn from what is said.

Technique # 4. Switch to nicer topics

Some negative people get turned on by certain topics. For example, one friend becomes a “victim of circumstance” whenever it comes to work. No matter what I say, he will keep complaining about a job that is just awful and won't be able to stop.

If a person is deeply rooted in their negativity, in their problems, the solution may be to change the topic. Start a new mood-boosting topic. Simple things like movies, daytime events, mutual friends, hobbies, happy news can make the conversation much easier. Support him in areas in which the person has positive emotions.

Reception number 5. Choose carefully with whom you spend your time

As Jim Rohn put it - "You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with." This quote means that the people you spend time with have a huge impact on the kind of person you become.

I think this is very true. Think about the time you spend with negative people - do you feel good or bad after that? It's the same with positive people. - How do you feel after spending time with them?

Whenever I spend time with negative people, I feel heavy afterwards, I get a bad aftertaste. When I meet positive people, I feel a surge of optimism and energy. This effect remains after communication. By spending more time with negative people, you gradually become negative too. It may be temporary at first, but over time the effect will begin to take root in you.

If you feel that certain people in your life are negative, be aware of how much time you spend with them. I suggest limiting the duration - it might help. For example, if they want to chat with you, but you don't like their company, learn to say no. If it's a meeting or a phone call, set a limit for how long. Stick to the topic of the discussion, and don't let it last longer than a certain amount of time.

Technique # 6: Identify Areas Where You Can Make Positive Change

Negative people are negative because they lack love, positivity, and warmth. They often behave in such a way as to create a barrier that protects them from the world.

One of the best ways to help them is to bring positivity into their lives. Think about the person's current concerns and think about how you can help him or her. It doesn't have to be overly complicated, and you definitely shouldn't if you don't want to. The key is to be sincere in wanting to help and show him or her a different perspective on life.

Some time ago, I had a friend who didn't like her job. She didn't like the environment and corporate culture. There was a vacancy in my (already former) workplace, so I offered her this opportunity. She eventually got the job, has been doing it for 3 years now, and is doing it excellently.

Today she leads a much happier, more active and optimistic life. She's definitely more positive than she was a few years ago. While I am not yet betting that she will be completely happy with her career, I feel satisfied that I helped a little at the right time. In addition, there is always something you can do to help another - look around and help what you can. A little action on your part can lead to big changes in your relationship.

Reception number 7. Stop communicating with them

If all else fails, limit contact with these people or even completely remove them from your life.

Instead of spending your time with negative people, concentrate better on positive people. In the past, I have spent a lot of time with negative people trying to help them. It took a lot of my energy and was often completely useless. I have revised my methods. Now I prefer to work with positive friends and business partners. It turned out to be both nicer and more useful.

Remember that you are building your life and it is up to you how you want it to be. If negative people make you feel bad, work on it using these 7 steps. By doing the right thing, you can make a difference in your relationship.

People experience negative feelings such as sadness, anger, jealousy, or hate when the situation they are in gets out of their control. Negativity is very common, especially in the workplace. These emotions tend to make people doubt themselves and affect the way they do work and perceive various things. While it's generally natural to sometimes find ourselves in situations that can cause us negative emotions, it's worth knowing how to deal with such negative emotions. Below are 25 tips to help you cope with negative emotions caused by unpleasant situations.

25. Assess the situation objectively

You should never blow an elephant out of a fly
When something bad happens, try to avoid exaggeration and the desire to make the situation more negative than it really is. Sometimes a person can deceive himself and inflate an elephant out of a fly, constantly pondering it over and over again. This is unnecessary and leads to unwanted stress. Instead, try to think of solutions to the problem and apply some of the tips you find on this list.

24. Learn to be prudent

This tip goes hand in hand with the tip # 25. When bad situations happen, the temptation to act rashly, on a wave of emotions instead of logic, is too strong. First of all, it is worth learning to keep your emotions in check and not let them affect your judgment. If something unpleasant happens, just take it for granted that trouble happens sometimes and find a way to deal with it and move on.

23. Think about ways to help you relax

This is a simple solution, but nevertheless it is one of the most effective. If you are overwhelmed by a wave of negativity, this can be a clear sign that you are morally "blown away". Get out of the negative environment and relax. If you're at work, this can be a daunting task. However, there are also exits, you can go and talk to someone in another department and take a walk during lunch, instead of eating with colleagues indoors.

22. Try to understand the situation and learn from it

The sad truth is that we live in a world full of negativity. However, this does not mean that you are doomed to fall into his net. Learn to recognize negative situations and learn from them, overcome them, stay positive. Usually, there is a positive side to every situation, even if it is small. Learn to find it and focus on it.

21. Exercise

Not many people are aware of the fact that in addition to keeping your figure in good shape, exercise also helps reduce stress levels in the body. Exercising, for example, gymnastics, allows the body to better cope with negative emotions, as during exercise, endorphins are produced that make you feel better.

20. Don't hold on to the past.

It's true, we really learn from our own mistakes (at least that's how it should be). But it's one thing to learn a lesson from your mistake and move on in life, and quite another thing to reflect on the past and drown in a quagmire of negativity. Learn to understand that the past will remain the past. Just like that, because you still can't change it. You cannot influence it, embellish it, stop a moment in the past, erase it from your memory, or subject it to any other form of adjustment. Therefore, if you still cannot change anything in your past, why would you waste valuable life energy and time thinking and regretting? Instead, focus on the present and strive for a brighter future. You will feel happier and more productive when you focus all your wasted energy on what you can do in the present.

19. Learn not just to listen, but to hear people

Listening is one of the best ways to deal with negativity in the workplace. Just like you, your work colleagues want to be heard and they need someone who can just listen to them. During group discussions, try to listen carefully to other people, not just what you yourself have to say. This will improve your relationships with colleagues and help prevent situations that could otherwise become a source of negativity.

18. Admit that you are the same person as everyone else and that you also make mistakes sometimes.

Recognize that you are just human and that you sometimes support decisions that you don't really like.

It is certainly very difficult to admit that you, too, are capable of contributing to the spread of negativity around you. If you learn to recognize your ability to make mistakes, it will become much easier for you to perceive the negativity of other people, and, as you know, tolerance is the best remedy against negativity. However, tolerance does not mean absorbing this negativity into yourself. Just try to create a positive environment and be a positive person.

17. Spend some time reflecting on the positive aspects of your life.

Spend some time alone every day and think about the positive aspects of your life. It is very easy to break down under the pressure of obvious negativity, but when you stop for a moment and think about your life, it becomes clear that you actually have a lot of things for which you can be grateful to fate, that is, a lot that other people do not have. ...

16. Take breaks or go for walks alone

When you are in an extremely stressful situation and you feel that the soil is about to slip from under your feet, sinking you into the abyss of negativity, take a break and take a walk. In addition to the fact that walking reduces stress in the body, it also prevents your negative emotions from going wild and making you say something that you will later regret.

15. Accept yourself as you are, along with all your weaknesses and advantages.

Leveling up negativity is partly about accepting yourself and exploring how you can help yourself. If you have failed to achieve some goal, never blame or reproach yourself for a wrong decision or a mistake in judgment. Know that you are human and capable of committing misconduct like everyone else.

14. Try not to be overly defensive.

Try not to allow yourself to be overly self-protective.
This is especially true in workplaces where it is not uncommon to clash with colleagues during stressful situations. If someone says something negative, try not to rears up right away. Listen to what has been said, and if there is a grain of truth in what has been said, act accordingly. However, if there is not a grain of truth in a negative statement, do not let what is said to hurt you, stay calm, and stay positive.

13. Instead of contemplating a negative situation, try to contemplate possible ways to resolve it.

The ultimate goal is to end up with the best possible outcome. If you are contemplating a negative situation or thought, you are wasting time because the matter does not move. Instead, acknowledge the seriousness of the situation, but start thinking about possible ways to resolve it, or about improvements you can make to alleviate it.

12. Ask open-ended questions

Ask open-ended questions to help identify the source of the negative situation. By asking open-ended questions such as “What do you think happens if ___?”, “What would you like to know about _____?” What do you already know about _____? ”, You allow people to give more natural answers that will help to reveal debated issue. This is great, as such questions and discussions give room for the personality and creativity of your peers and work colleagues (in a positive situation). On the other hand, closed-ended questions such as: "Do you feel better today?", "Do you think you are right?", "Which is better, green or red?", Limit their answers to the words "yes" and "no", that depending on the context, it can be perceived as a manifestation of confrontation. If you are trying to identify the cause of a negative situation or create a more positive solution, the best tactic is to ask open-ended questions.

11. Decide for yourself to stay calm.

We have more power over our actions than we think. The decision to be furious or to remain rational and calm is just that - a decision. Make a conscious, focused decision to remain calm when negative situations arise. Not only will this help you stay calm, but it will also give you a chance to turn a negative situation into a more positive one.

10. Solve one problem at a time.

Discuss all the questions and solve one problem at a time. This will allow you to more effectively focus on finding a way out of the negative situation in the workplace.

9. Give other people the opportunity to express their opinions

Sometimes, all it takes to reduce negativity is listening to the person. We are all human and each of us wants to be heard and appreciated.

8. Never dismiss a complaint, even if it seems very trivial.

This applies to both the work environment and the home environment. Don't make it a habit to ignore complaints, even if they seem trivial to you. If someone thinks this complaint is important, then for that person it is far from trivial. Listen to what the person is saying and try not to take it personally. A complaint can be a valuable observation worth considering. By listening to it, you will let the speaker know that you value their opinion and create a more positive and productive environment.

7. Try not to get carried away with over-creating rules

Never make rules for everyone if only a few break the rules
This is another example of advice you can use both at work and at home. If you are in an influential position at work, try not to create a huge number of rules. It is important to give people the freedom to express their individuality, while at the same time maintaining an appropriate work schedule. However, too many rules create stressful situations and can be a source of negativity both at work and at home.

6. Enter the program of the suggestion box

In most cases, problems in the workplace arise due to the lack of the necessary dialogue between workers and the administration. Thanks to the introduction of a suggestion box, employees will be able to speak freely and thus, the administration will be able to understand exactly what problems need to be solved first.

5. Sponsor company events that serve as an ideal environment for development friendly relations between employees

This tip is more appropriate for a work environment. It is very useful to hold an event for your employees at least once a year that can unite them. These activities will give your employees a sense of fun, as well as help maintain a work-life balance and make them feel highly valued.

4. Investigate situations in which multiple employees are involved

In the workplace, sometimes problems arise that affect not one or two employees, but the whole group. Such problems foster negativity and need to be addressed as soon as possible. To deal with a similar problem, try to investigate this problem and solve it in the most optimal way.

3. Always react quickly

A quick solution to the issue helps to get rid of negativity in the team as soon as possible. The longer you delay and postpone the search for a way out of a predicament, the more negativity grows and affects you, the people around you, and even the people you work with.

2. Always have a plan in mind for how to deal with negativity.

It is always good to have a plan for how you can deal with negativity, which means that you should think about situations that are potentially sources of negativity and think in advance about your actions that will contribute to successfully finding a way out of them. Naturally, you cannot anticipate the future, but planning and thinking through different scenarios will allow you to be much better prepared for problem situations, should they arise. For example, say you're at work and you hear your employees gossip about your boss. How will you behave in this negative situation? Think about it now, and if this situation happens in real life, you will know exactly what needs to be done.

1. Prevent the spread of office gossip

If you are in a leadership position, warn your employees about the dangers of gossiping and spreading. Gossip is one of the most common causes of negativity in the workplace, as it creates negative thoughts in workers about other people and adversely affects work and interpersonal relationships in the workplace.