How to help a person increase his self-esteem. Use affirmations correctly. Possible reasons for low self-esteem

How to raise self-esteem and love yourself? How to gain self-confidence and believe in yourself? What self-esteem tips and tricks really work?

Greetings, dear readers! This is Denis Kuderin.

It has long been proven by scientists that self-esteem is one of the most important factors in achieving success in life and a sense of self-confidence.

Low self-esteem leads to poverty, depression and a sense of the meaninglessness of one's own existence.

If you or your friends are faced with this problem, then today I will share with you effective ways to resolve it, which helped me personally.

All the techniques and techniques described in the article are recommended by leading psychologists and simply successful peoplewho apply them in their own lives every day.

Using them in practice, you can not only become more confident, but as a result, even increase your income and even start a business.

Let's start, friends!

1. What is self-esteem: definition and its impact on our lives

To achieve success in any area of \u200b\u200bhis activity, a person needs to be confident in himself and be able to convince others that he is right.

People with low self-esteem cannot be happy by definition: their whole existence consists of doubts, disappointments and self-reflection. Meanwhile, a bright, eventful life passes by, reaching those who do not doubt their own righteousness and confidently stride towards their goal.

A person with low self-esteem considers himself unworthy of happiness, therefore subconsciously inferior in everything to others. To change the situation in your favor, you need to change yourself - there is no other way.

In this article I will tell you why a person's self-esteem is so important, what reasons affect its decline, and how to increase self-esteem for a man, woman (girl), adolescent by the most effective methods.

Self-assessment - this is an individual's idea of \u200b\u200bthe importance of his personality in relation to other people and an assessment of his own qualities - advantages and disadvantages.

Self-esteem is extremely important for the full functioning of the individual in society and the achievement of various life goals - success, self-realization, family happiness, spiritual and material well-being.

Self-assessment functions

The self-assessment functions are as follows:

• Protective - provides stability and relative independence of the individual from the opinions of others;
• Regulatory - enables a person to solve problems of personal choice;
• Developing - provides an impetus for personal development.

A decisive role in the early formation of self-esteem is played by the assessment of our personality by others - in particular, by parents, peers, friends. Ideally, self-esteem should be based only on the individual's own opinion of himself, but in reality it is influenced by many different factors.

Self-esteem is the attitude of a person to himself: to his capabilities, physical and spiritual qualities. An adequate assessment of one's own capabilities helps to avoid mistakes and at the same time is an incentive for further development.

Psychologists believe that ideal self-esteem is the most accurate assessment of a person's abilities.

Low self-esteem makes a person doubt, reflect and make the wrong decisions, and too high leads to a large number of mistakes.

In most cases, we are dealing with a person's underestimation of his capabilities, which is why a person is not able to fully reveal his potential and does not understand how to increase self-esteem.

A renowned trainer in the field of success psychology believes that low self-esteem is the main reason for a person's financial insolvency. After all, if you treat yourself badly, you do not have confidence in your abilities, then you are doomed to be poor, and you will not even have to dream of your own business.

On the contrary, an increase in self-esteem leads to an increase in your income and making more money. So if you have financial problems, be sure to look for the cause in your emotional state.

The pathological manifestation of low self-esteem is an inferiority complex.

It is self-esteem that is the key to achieving success in any area of \u200b\u200bhuman activity. Self-confidence leads to the adoption of important and timely decisions, and underestimation of one's strength reduces the level of a person's personal energy, makes him constantly doubt himself and, instead of actions, think about action.

2. Why is it important to love yourself and what will happen if you don't

Increasing self-esteem means loving yourself: accepting yourself as you are with all the flaws and flaws. Everyone has disadvantages: a self-confident person differs from an eternally doubting and insecure person in that he sees in himself not only shortcomings, but also advantages, and at the same time knows how to profitably present himself to others.

If you don't love yourself, how can others love you? It is known that consciously and subconsciously, people strive for contact and communication with self-confident individuals. It is these individuals that are most often chosen as business partners, friends, and husbands (or wives).

When you doubt yourself and reproach every little thing, you automatically program yourself for further failure and make the decision-making process more difficult. Learn to praise yourself, forgive yourself and love yourself - you will see how the attitude of others towards you will change.

Signs of low (-) self-esteem

A person with low self-esteem usually exhibits such qualities as:

• excessive self-criticism and self-dissatisfaction;
• increased sensitivity to criticism and opinions of others;
• constant indecision and fear of making a mistake;
• pathological jealousy;
• envy of the success of others;
• longing to please;
• hostility towards others;
• constant defensive position and the need to make excuses in their actions;
• pessimism, negative worldview.

An individual with low self-esteem perceives temporary difficulties and failures as permanent and makes the wrong conclusions. The worse we treat ourselves, the more negatively others relate to us: this leads to alienation, depression and other psycho-emotional disorders.

3. High self-esteem and self-confidence is an important factor in achieving success

Before I talk about ways to increase self-esteem, I want to emphasize the importance of self-love for success and well-being. For some reason, selfishness is believed to be a sin, or at least something to be avoided.

In fact, the lack of love and respect for one's own personality just generates numerous complexes and internal conflicts.

If a person has a low opinion of himself, it is unlikely that others will think differently. And vice versa - self-confident people are usually highly appreciated by those around them: they listen to their opinion, strive to communicate and cooperate with them. Having learned to respect ourselves, we will gain the respect of others, and also learn to adequately relate to the opinions of others about us.

Signs of high (+) self-esteem

People with healthy, high self-esteem have the following benefits:

• take their physical form as it is;
• self-confident;
• are not afraid to make mistakes and learn from them;
• calmly accept criticism and compliments;
• know how to communicate, do not feel shy when communicating with strangers;
• respect the opinions of others, but value and own view on things;
• take care of their physical and emotional well-being;
• develop harmoniously;
• succeed in their endeavors.

Self-confidence and self-respect are as necessary factors for achieving success and happiness as sun and water are for a plant: without them, personal growth is impossible. Low self-esteem deprives a person of perspective and hope for change.

4. Low self-esteem - top 5 reasons

There are a great many factors that directly or indirectly affect our attitude towards ourselves. These are genetic characteristics, and external data, and social status, and marital status. Below we take a look at the 5 most common reasons for low self-esteem.

Reason 1. Improper parenting

Our attitude to ourselves directly depends on the correct upbringing. If our parents did not encourage us, but on the contrary, scolded and constantly compared with others, we simply will not have a reason to love ourselves - there will be no ground on which to base our belief in our abilities.

A decrease in self-esteem and a lack of confidence in one's own words and actions is influenced by the criticism of parents of any initiatives, undertakings and actions. Even having matured, a person who was constantly criticized in childhood, subconsciously continues to be afraid of mistakes.

Parents (teachers, coaches) should know how to increase the self-esteem of a child who suffers from doubts and self-doubt.

The best way is praise, unobtrusive encouragement. It is enough to sincerely praise the kid several times for a correctly completed school assignment, a diligently drawn drawing, and his self-esteem will inevitably increase.

Psychologists say that the family is the center of the world for the child: it is there that all the future characteristics of the adult personality are laid. Passivity, lethargy, insecurity, and other negative qualities are a direct reflection of parental suggestions and attitudes.

Self-esteem is usually higher in single children and those who were born first. In other children, it is not uncommon to have a "little brother complex" when parents constantly compare the younger child with the older one.

An ideal family for adequate self-esteem is one in which the mother is always calm in a good mood, and the father is demanding, fair and has indisputable authority.

Reason 2. Frequent failures in childhood

No one is immune from failures, the main thing is our attitude towards them. A severe traumatic event can affect the psyche in the form of a guilt complex and a decrease in self-esteem. For example, some children blame themselves for their parents' divorce or their frequent quarrels: in the future, the feeling of guilt is transformed into constant doubts and inability to make decisions.

In childhood, completely harmless events take on cosmic proportions. For example, taking second, not first, place in a competition, an adult athlete will breathe a sigh and continue training with a vengeance, and a child may receive psychological trauma for life, especially if the parents do not show proper understanding of the situation.

What does low self-esteem eat in childhood? Failures, mistakes, ridicule of peers, careless remarks from adults (parents in the first place). As a result, the teenager forms the opinion that he is bad, unlucky, inferior, and there is a false sense of guilt for his actions.

Reason 3. Lack of clear goals in life

If you have nothing to strive for in life, you do not need to strain and make volitional efforts. Lack of clear goals, laziness, adherence to standard philistine imperatives is easy and does not require manifestation personal qualities... Such a person does not plan to become successful and rich, he is inherently passive.

Often people with low self-esteem live on autopilot, half-heartedly. They are satisfied with gray tones, an inconspicuous lifestyle, the absence of bright colors - there is no desire to get out of the swamp. Such people stop paying attention to their own appearance, income, stop dreaming and strive for change. Naturally, self-esteem in such a situation is not just low, but absent altogether.

Growing up, a person becomes passive, and then shifts all these problems onto his family when he gets married (gets married).

Here the conclusion suggests itself: it is also necessary to increase self-esteem for a man and a woman, that is, an adult, as well as a child. After all, everything starts from childhood, and then nothing changes, if the adult himself does not make efforts for this.

Reason 4. Unhealthy social environment

If you are surrounded by people without definite goals in life, who are in constant spiritual suspended animation, you are unlikely to have a desire for internal transformations.

High self-esteem and ambition appear where there are role models - if all your friends and acquaintances are used to living in the shadows, without showing initiative, then you, most likely, will be completely satisfied with such an existence.

If you notice that in your environment, pathologically, everyone is used to complaining about life, gossiping, condemning others and overly philosophizing for no reason, you should think about whether you are on the way with these people?

After all, such people can become energy vampires for you and prevent you from awakening your true potential in yourself.

If you feel that such a tendency is taking place, change this environment, or at least limit communication with it.

It is best to communicate with those people who are already successful, have their own business and know how to make money. We have already written earlier on the topic, we recommend that you familiarize yourself with this article.

Reason 5. Defects in appearance and health

Low self-esteem often occurs in children with physical defects or congenital diseases.

Even if the parents behave correctly in relation to such a child, the social environment can significantly affect him - first of all, the opinion of his peers.

A typical example is overweight children who are given offensive nicknames in kindergarten or school. Low self-esteem in such cases is practically guaranteed if appropriate measures are not taken.

In this case, it is worth trying to eliminate the existing shortcomings, and if this is impossible, then you need to start developing other qualities in yourself that will make the person (child) more developed, charismatic and self-confident.

Example

If a child is overweight and has a corresponding unattractive appearance, then with the right approach to the development of his abilities and talents, you can turn this disadvantage into an advantage.

Perhaps he will show the ability for sports (weightlifting or wrestling or boxing), or vice versa, he will be able to become a sought-after actor with his inherent type.

In general, there are thousands of examples where people with huge physical disabilities have achieved worldwide recognition, created happy families, and at the same time live the life that the “healthy” can only dream of.

The most striking example of this is the world famous speaker and preacher. Nick was born no arms and no legs , naturally experienced a huge inferiority complex and even wanted to commit suicide.

But, thanks to the strength of the will and the desire to live, he achieved public recognition and helped thousands of people around the world find themselves and cope with psychological difficulties.

Now Nick is a dollar millionaire and a favorite of thousands of people, because he helped them change their lives. By working on your self-esteem, you can reach unprecedented heights and even repeat the success of Nick Vujicic, despite the fact that now your condition may not be the best.

And we have already written about how rich people think and what it takes to become a millionaire.

5. How to Boost Your Self-Esteem and Confidence - 7 Powerful Ways

How to raise self-esteem and love yourself? There are many ways to force yourself to believe in your own strength, but I have chosen seven of the most reliable and effective options.

Method 1. Change of environment and communication with successful people

Since man is a social being, he is completely dependent on his environment. How to believe in yourself and increase your self-esteem with the help of other people? It's very simple - you need to change your environment.

Above, I already wrote that communication with inactive, lethargic and lazy people without ambition and desire for change is a direct way to a decrease in self-esteem and a lack of life motivation.

If you radically change your social circle and begin to contact successful, goal-oriented, self-confident people, you will almost immediately feel how you are changing for the better. Gradually, self-respect, self-love and all those qualities, without which it is impossible to achieve success, will return to you.

Communicating with successful and prosperous people, you will learn to value individuality (including your own), begin to treat your personal time in a different way, gain a purpose and begin to achieve success on your own.

Method 2. Attendance at events, trainings, seminars

In any city, events, trainings or seminars are held, where specialists teach everyone to self-confidence and increase self-esteem.

In a few months, experts in applied psychology will be able to turn a timid, indecisive individual into a strong-willed, self-satisfied and purposeful person: the main thing is to have an initial impulse and desire for change.

There are many literate books that talk in detail, with examples and explanations about the need for love and respect for yourself: if you want change, acquaintance with such literature will be very productive.

The books Helen Andelin "The Charm of Femininity" and Louise Hay "Heal Your Life" will be especially relevant for increasing women's self-esteem.

It is also useful to watch video content on this topic - documentary and feature filmspromoting self-esteem.

Method 3. Leaving the "comfort zone" - performing unusual actions

The desire of a person to escape from problems to the zone of personal comfort is quite understandable. It is much easier in difficult situations to console yourself with sweets, alcohol, savoring your own impotence. It is much more difficult to face the challenge and do something that is not ours.

At first, it may seem that outside your comfort zone is a hostile and inhospitable world, but then you will understand that real life, full of beauty, adventure and positive emotions, is exactly where you have not been.

Being in familiar conditions is like living in an invisible cage, from which you are afraid to leave simply because you are used to it. Learning to leave your “comfort zone” and at the same time remain calm, collected and balanced, you will gain a powerful incentive to raise your self-esteem and form your new image.

You can start small - for example, stop sitting in front of the TV after work, but buy a gym membership, go jogging, yoga, meditation.

Set a task - to learn an unfamiliar language in six months or to meet a girl you like tonight. Do not be afraid if the first time you do not succeed in everything - but new sensations and an increase in self-esteem are guaranteed.

Method 4. Refusal of excessive self-criticism

If you stop self-flagellation, blame yourself and “eat” for mistakes, flaws in appearance, failures in your personal life, you will achieve several goals at once:

1. Release a tremendous amount of energy. You will not lose attention to self-criticism, and there will be time for other, more creative and worthy tasks;
2. Learn to accept yourself for who you are. You are the one and only person on this planet. So why compare yourself to others? It is better to focus on achieving your own goals according to your potential and your idea of \u200b\u200bhappiness;
3. Learn to see the positive traits of your personality... Instead of dwelling on the negative, purposefully find in yourself strengths and work to develop them.

In the end, any setbacks, disappointments and mistakes can be turned to your advantage, using it as a life experience.

Method 5. Playing sports and maintaining a healthy lifestyle

In the course of experiments conducted by European scientists, it was found that one of the simplest and most effective ways to increase self-esteem is to go in for sports, physical education or activities aimed at improving health and well-being.

A healthy body is a repository of a healthy mind and right thoughts, and vice versa: it is difficult for a person who is heavy on their feet, with an untrained body to make decisions and act independently.

Having started to play sports, a person begins to perceive his appearance less critically and more respectfully towards himself. At the same time, the increase in self-esteem does not depend on the results of training: even if the changes are insignificant, the process of training itself is important.

The more actively you train, the better you begin to relate to yourself.

Any physical activity (especially for a person working in an office) is an opportunity to gain confidence and love yourself. This phenomenon has a completely scientific explanation: during sports, a person intensively produces dopamines - neurotransmitters responsible for reward (bypassing them are sometimes called "hormones of joy").

Biochemical changes have a positive effect on the psyche and increase our self-esteem.

Method 6. Listening to affirmations

Affirmations are one of the most effective ways to reprogram your own mind. In psychology, affirmations are understood as short verbal formulas that, with repeated repetition, create a positive attitude in the subconscious of a person. In the future, this attitude contributes to a change in character traits and personality towards improvement.

Affirmations are always formulated as a fait accompli, which makes a person take them for granted and think accordingly. If our subconscious mind considers us to be confident, successful and purposeful, then gradually we really become such.

Typical examples of affirmations to increase self-esteem: "I am the master of my life", "I can have everything I want", "I believe in myself, so everything comes to me freely and effortlessly." These linguistic formulas can be repeated independently or listened to in the player: the main thing in this practice is regularity.

Read these phrases into the microphone, recording a track of several minutes from them and listen to them in your free time. This technology is recommended by Western psychologists and has proven to be highly effective.

Method 7. Keeping a diary of successes and achievements

A diary of their own victories and achievements will help to raise self-esteem in adolescents, men and women.

Start such a diary right now and write down everything that you managed to achieve in a day (week, month). The success diary is a powerful stimulating tool that will make you believe in yourself and will greatly increase your own efficiency.

Every day, record any victories you have, even small ones.

All of these "little things" are related to your personal success, be sure to include them in your success diary and read it regularly.

If you write down only 5 simple things a day, then it will already be 150 of your achievements a month!

Not so little for one month, agree ?!

In one of our articles, it was written about how keeping a success diary can be the first step towards this.

6. Dependence on public opinion is a factor that destroys personality: we overcome self-doubt

Public opinion can ruin our lives if given too much importance.

Constructive criticism pointing out specific mistakes is useful and helps in development, but completely depending on the opinion of others is a big mistake.

Learn to value your own opinion and your own view of things, then the words of others will cease to be so important to you. If you, while performing any actions, think first of all about what people will say, how they will look at you, then you are unlikely to succeed in your endeavors.

Let public opinion depend on you, not you on it. Embody your own will and think less about the consequences.

How to Become More Confident - Practical Exercises

1. "My own clown." Preparation: You dress ridiculously, such as curlers, a huge tie, funny clothes. Then go outside, go to shops, generally behave as if this is your everyday look. Naturally, you will feel discomfort in this form. But at the same time, the psychological threshold of critical perception of you by others will decrease;
2. "Orator for Life". Try to speak in public as often as possible. If at work your boss asks someone to prepare a presentation, organize an event, or go on a business trip with an important report, take the initiative and take over these functions. If you have a fear of public speaking, then ways to overcome it have already been described in.

Both of these exercises involve getting out of your comfort zone. Our brain begins to think that this behavior is normal for us and these things no longer cause such stress as before. Remember, the best way to get rid of your fear is to do what you fear!

7. How to find yourself and learn to manage your self-esteem - 5 important tips

Here are 5 quick tips for managing your self-esteem:

1. Stop comparing yourself to others;
2. Stop scolding and criticizing yourself;
3. Chat with positive people;
4. Do what you like;
5. Take action, don't think about action!

Remember that you are a unique person with great potential and unlimited possibilities. Boosting your self-esteem is one way to develop your abilities to the fullest.

8. Self-assessment test - determine the level of attitude towards yourself today

My self-assessment test consists of a few simple questions that you only need to answer "YES" or "NO". When you have done this, count the number of positive and negative responses.

1. You often scold yourself for mistakes (yes / no);
2. You like to gossip with girlfriends (friends) and discuss mutual acquaintances (yes / no);
3. You do not have clear goals and you do not plan your life (yes / no);
4. You are not involved in physical education and sports (yes / no);
5. You like to worry about trifles (yes / no);
6. Finding yourself in an unfamiliar company, you prefer to remain "in the shadow" (yes / no);
7. When meeting the opposite sex, you cannot maintain a conversation (yes / no);
8. When you are criticized it makes you depressed (yes / no);
9. You like to criticize people and often envy others' success (yes / no);
10. It is easy to offend you with a careless word (yes / no).

The Key to Self-Assessment Test:

Answers "Yes" from 1 to 3: congratulations, you have normal self-esteem.

Answers "Yes" - more than 3: you underestimated How to make money for a student on the Internet - 7 surefire ways + a story from the life of a simple 14-year-old schoolgirl who earns 10,000 rubles / month. on writing texts

The level of self-esteem affects all of a person's actions. Most often, a person's self-esteem is underestimated, that is, a person's real capabilities are higher than a person's ideas about their capabilities. This is usually due to the fact that the formation of self-esteem occurs mainly in childhood, when a person's capabilities are poorly developed. In addition, the negative environment has a serious impact. Of course, there are cases when a person has an overestimated self-esteem, but, in my opinion, this is typical only for very young people.

And for adults, the opposite situation is typical - low self-esteem, which is understandable. Personality is formed in childhood and early youth, when a person's capabilities are, for obvious reasons, seriously limited.

It is quite possible to increase self-esteem, although it is often a rather slow process. However, conscious attempts at building self-esteem can be useful to almost everyone.

How to improve self-esteem and self-confidence? Here are 12 tips to help you do this:

1. Stop comparing yourself to other people. There will always be people who have more of something than you, and there are people who have less of that than you. If you make comparisons, you will always have too many opponents or opponents in front of you that you cannot beat.

2. Stop berating and blaming yourself. You will not be able to develop high levels of self-esteem if you repeat negative statements about yourself and your abilities. Do you talk about your appearance, your career, relationships, financial situation, or any other aspect of your life, avoid self-deprecating comments. Self-esteem correction is directly related to your statements about yourself.

3. Accept all compliments and congratulations in return "thanks". When you respond to a compliment with something like, “Nothing special,” you reject the compliment and simultaneously send yourself a message that you are not praiseworthy, creating low self-esteem. Therefore, take the praise without belittling yourself.

To become successful (no matter where) you need to have confidence in your own capabilities. It is extremely difficult for a person with low self-esteem to achieve success and even just become happy: their whole life is built on doubts, disappointments and companies in themselves. And at this time, bright moments fly by, stopping in front of those who are confident in their capabilities. Today we will reflect on how to increase self-esteem and love yourself using simple and effective methods.

This is a person's understanding of the importance of his own personality and individuality in the context of relationships with other people, as well as an assessment of his qualities, pros and cons. Self-esteem plays a huge role in the normal functioning of a person in society and in solving various everyday tasks: implementation, family, finances and spirituality.

This quality performs the following functions:

• protection - ensuring the stability and relative autonomy of a person from the opinions of other people;
• regulation - provides people with the opportunity to make personal choices;
• development - providing an incentive for self-improvement.

Ideally, self-esteem is based only on a person's own opinion of himself. However, in real life, it is influenced by multiple side factors, for example, the assessment of others: parents, peers, friends, friends and colleagues.

Adequate self-esteem (or ideal), experts call the most accurate assessment of a person's skills and abilities. Low self-esteem often leads to excessive doubt, introspection and rejection of activities. Overestimated is fraught with loss of caution and the commission of multiple mistakes.

It's important to know! In psychological practice, it is more often low self-esteem that occurs when a person is not able to reveal his own potential, and in especially difficult cases, experts talk about an inferiority complex.

What does self-esteem affect?

So, the meaning of an adequate self-perception is to "love" yourself with the real, even with minuses, shortcomings and various "vices". Everyone has flaws, but a confident person is distinguished from others by the fact that, first of all, he notices his successes and is able to profitably present himself to society.

If you hate yourself, or just consider yourself a failure, how can the other person love you? Psychologists note an interesting fact: most people subconsciously (and, perhaps, with knowledge of the matter) tend to communicate with self-sufficient individuals. Usually such people are preferred to be chosen as business partners, friends and spouses.

Symptoms of low self-esteem

People with similar problems most often have such character traits as:

Low self-esteem makes a person perceive temporary setbacks and problems as permanent "life partners", which leads to wrong conclusions and wrong decisions. Do you feel bad about yourself? Prepare for the fact that others will react negatively to you. And this is already fraught with alienation, depressive moods and even emotional disorders.

4 reasons for low self-esteem

It is extremely difficult to point out all the factors that influence the attitude of a person towards himself. Psychologists attribute to them innate characteristics, appearance and position in society. Next, we'll look at four of the most common causes of low self-esteem in humans.

Reason # 1.

Have you heard the phrase that every problem “grows” from childhood? In our situation, it fits one hundred percent. At an early age, there is a direct dependence of a child's self-esteem on the attitude of parents and other significant adults towards him. If the mother and father constantly scold and compare children with their peers, they will not have faith in their own abilities.

Psychological science claims that it is the family that is the center of the universe for the child. Absolutely all character traits of a future adult are formed in the cell of society. Lack of initiative, insecurity, passivity are the consequences of parental attitudes.

Reason number 2. Childhood failures

We all face failure, the most important thing is our response to it. Trauma during childhood can lead to low self-esteem. For example, a child begins to blame himself for the divorce of his mother from his father or family scandals. A constant feeling of guilt turns into insecurity and unwillingness to make decisions.

In addition, children react sharply to any harmless failure. Ranked second in the competition? An older person will simply redouble efforts to achieve a goal, and a small person may refuse to act altogether, especially if a significant adult traumatized him with a ridicule or careless remark.

Reason number 3. "Unhealthy" environment

Adequate self-esteem and ambition arise only in an environment where success and achievement of results are valued.

If people from the immediate environment do not strive for initiative, it is difficult to expect confidence from an individual.

We do not argue that it is necessary to completely refuse to communicate with such people (especially if they are close relatives). However, it is worth, at least, to think about whether such a disregard for self-realization has captured you too.

Reason number 4. Features of appearance and health

Quite often, low self-perception appears in children and adolescents who have a non-standard appearance or congenital diseases. Yes, relatives correctly relate to their "non-standard" child, but he is not immune from the opinion of his peers, who, unfortunately, are ruthless, like all children.

A common example is fat kids who, in preschool and school institutions, become owners of the most unpleasant and offensive nicknames. Low self-esteem will not take long in such situations.

How to increase self-esteem: effective methods

If a person realizes his problems and decided to raise self-esteem, he has already taken the first step towards confidence. We offer some of the most effective and efficient recommendations.

1. Change of environment. Negative people are not the best society for a self-doubting person.
   Psychologists advise you to revise your own social circle, including in it successful, self-confident, positive individuals. Gradually, confidence and self-respect will return to the person.
2. Refusal of self-flagellation. It is extremely difficult to increase self-esteem by regularly blaming yourself, speaking negatively about your own abilities. Experts recommend avoiding negative assessments regarding your appearance, personal life, career, and financial situation.
   The priority is positive judgments.
3. Avoiding comparisons. You are the only such person in the world: unique, unique, combining strengths and weaknesses. In addition, it is quite easy to find people who have achieved much greater success in any field of activity. A possible option is comparing yourself (with new achievements) with the former, unwilling to change.
4. Listening to affirmations. This difficult word in psychological literature means short verbal formulas that create a positive attitude in the human subconscious.
   The affirmation should be formulated in the present tense so that the person perceives it for granted. For example: "I am a beautiful and intelligent woman", "I own my own life." It is better to repeat such phrases in the morning and before bed, and you can also record them on a dictaphone.
5. Committing unusual things. The desire of a man or woman to escape into the zone of personal comfort and “hide in a shell” is quite natural.
   It is easier for us in a difficult situation to console ourselves, beloved (beloved) with goodies, alcohol, tears. We do not urge you to go in for extreme sports, just try to face the problem face to face.
6. Attending the training. IN large cities trainings, courses and seminars are regularly held to help increase confidence and raise self-esteem. Of course, it is necessary to find a real expert in psychology, and not "konovals", which, unfortunately, are also enough. Another option is to read psychological literature and watch feature and documentary videos on the topic.
7. Sports activities. One of the most affordable opportunities for raising self-esteem is playing sports. Regular exercise makes a person less critical of their appearance and more respect for themselves. During exercise, people release dopamines - the so-called hormones of joy.
8. Achievements diary. Both the girl and the young man are helped by diaries of their own successes, in which you should make notes about each of your small victories, achievements, even small ones. For example, every day 3-5 "little things" are written in such a notebook: they transferred the granny across the road, learned 10 new foreign words, and earned 500 rubles this month more than last.

Improving self-esteem is closely related to self-guilt and self-rejection. How to love yourself and increase self-esteem for a man and a woman? It is very simple and, at the same time, difficult - be kinder and more tolerant of your own personality. The above techniques will help you with this.

Adequate self-esteem and self-confidence is not a fantasy, but a very likely development of events. The most important thing for a person is to understand the importance of changes and have a desire to go in the right direction: a change in personal life, career, appearance. Remember that self-love in some situations must be earned by going through dissatisfaction and self-deprecation.

Hello, I am Nadezhda Plotnikova. Having successfully completed her studies at SUSU as a special psychologist, she devoted several years to working with children with developmental problems and consulting parents on raising children. I use the experience gained, including in the creation of articles of a psychological orientation. Of course, in no way do I pretend to be the ultimate truth, but I hope that my articles will help dear readers to deal with any difficulties.

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52 comments to the article “ 8 ways to boost your self-esteem and love yourself»

My grandmother constantly told me in my childhood that I have ugly ears, nose, eyes, and in general I am so-so, and I don't need to be an upstart, I have to be like everyone else ... I still cannot completely eradicate it. But travel increased self-esteem, when in different countries you catch on yourself thousands of admiring glances of men, young men, boys. When they want to meet or take a photo with me. THAT is what exactly cured me.

As a person with low self-esteem, it helps me a lot to keep a diary of my achievements. When I start to doubt myself, I reread the useful things I have done and my mood instantly improves!

A person is like a tree, if a little crooked has grown, it cannot be leveled) No matter how much you “bang your head against the wall,” but as we were programmed from childhood by parents, a kindergarten-school and a close social circle ... so all our life we \u200b\u200bwill drag out existence ... The most offensive and paradoxical thing is that it turns out that our parents, without knowing it ... made us so unhappy. Because their parents made them unhappy, etc. and it is unlikely that a psychologist / psychiatrist will greatly change the situation, and the person himself understands himself even less ... therefore, re-read at least a thousand articles, and you will remain the same notorious creature, like that.

• You are not right. Remind me of a little green goblin! Stop blaming your parents for your shortcomings. If you are not a teenager and over 19 you should be responsible for your own life and not look back in time! How can a person be compared to a tree? And even if they did compare, then think about if the trunk is crooked, but can it be directed in the other direction? Thus, to give not a standard flat shape, but much more beautiful and interesting? (YES IT IS POSSIBLE AND EVEN NEEDED) The brain develops up to 25 - 27 years. You can independently educate in yourself the one you want to see every morning in the mirror!

• I absolutely agree with you.

• Man is not a tree. I do not agree. A person is able to change.

In this article, I will introduce you 8 essential skills that will help you become a confident woman and boost your self-esteem.

How to Become a Confident Woman and Boost Your Self-Esteem - 8 Skills:

So, here are eight skills to complete. Then gradually make them a part of your life, and then you will inevitably become self-confident.

Habit # 1: 100 and One Confidence

There are no people in the world who are completely confident in themselves or, on the contrary, completely insecure. We all feel confident in some contexts and insecure in others. Believe me, there are times when you feel absolutely confident in yourself and don't worry a bit. For example, when you brush your teeth. Or while chatting with a close friend. Or maybe when you read your favorite book.

Think about such situations in your life. Take a piece of paper and a pen. The first thing you need to do in order to become more confident is to remember a hundred things that you do with confidence. Situations in which you feel at ease and at ease. They can be serious or not so, small or global. The main thing is that during them you feel calm and calm. Write a list of a hundred such things, and then start each (every!) Day add one more item to this list. From now on, you need to feel confident about something every day.

Specifically run into situations in which you feel confident to add to the list. You can start with small things, and eventually move on to more serious matters. Ideally, put something in your day plan that you can confidently do every day. Do this task every day and I guarantee you, in three to four months, you won't recognize yourself. Your self-esteem will make a big leap.

Skill # 2: Build Confidence

Now let's work on situations in which you feel insecure. This can be meeting a new person or a business meeting. Or, for example, a parachute jump. Exam at the university. Job interview. In short, any event that makes you nervous or anxious.

In order to learn how to stop worrying in any such situation, remember how you felt while doing something with absolute confidence. Choose from the first task, from the list of a hundred things, several such actions during which you are completely, one hundred percent confident in yourself. Actions in which you are unshakable and absolutely calm.

For example, you choose to read your favorite book as a confident action (choose yours). Remember how you felt during this action. Answer yourself the following questions: Where is your self-confidence located in your body when you read your favorite book? What does your confidence look like, what does it look like? What color, size, consistency is it? Is it static or in motion? Remember and include this state in yourself, as if you are reading your favorite book right now.

Remember your feelings. It is a feeling of absolute confidence in your body. And now, every time you worry or worry, remember this feeling and include it in yourself. The first few times, this exercise may not be successful if you are not well developed to listen to yourself and your body. Try again and again, persistently and patiently, and soon you will learn how to turn on the state of 100% confidence at the click of a button.

Skill # 3: Turn off criticism and call yourself differently

If you have embarked on the path of increasing self-esteem, stop criticizing yourself. Urgently! From now on and forever. Every time the inner critic utters your favorite, already familiar word "dumb" or "stupid", thank him for wanting to make you better and say goodbye to him. Then replace the critical word with the word that characterizes your best version. Only call yourself who you want to be. For example, the word "dumb" can be replaced by "smart" or "smart." The word "thick" is almost slender. And stuff like that.

Our subconscious mind always realizes what we say and what we think. Every time you call yourself a bad word, you program your brain to conform to that word. He tries to bring you closer to what you think of yourself. Therefore, think of yourself only in those words that characterize the one you want to be!

At first, such words will drive you into a stupor, cause doubts or even thoughts: "What are you talking about, how smart you are!" These thoughts are the result of your brain's disbelief in the ability to change. After all, he is so used to hearing about himself "stupid" or "scary" that the opposite words seem to him something out of the ordinary. He will try to convince you to leave things as they are. But don't mind it, just keep up the good work. After all, you have a goal - to increase self-esteem. Go to her despite any obstacles.

Trait # 4: The Power of Small Praises

The most enjoyable and simple, but at the same time the most important way to become a confident woman and increase self-esteem is praise. Whenever you are praised, take it personally. Take only good things into your account.

Do not listen to and do not take criticism in your address, even constructive, until you feel that your self-esteem has risen and established in its positions.

Every time you are praised, think: “Yes, this is about me. Yes, he (a) is telling the truth about me. " Thank you aloud. Don't shut yourself off from nice words and compliments. Take them all personally. Let yourself and others know that they are right when they praise you.

In addition to receiving praise, you also need to learn to praise yourself. For everything, even for the smallest details! Got up in the morning? Well done! Brush your teeth before bed? Clever girl! Have a shower? Cleanliness! Made some coffee and he didn't run away? You are the most attentive! Well done!

The power of small praise is enormous. Do not belittle their importance, they are the ones that shape your self-esteem. Learn to praise yourself a hundred, two hundred times a day, and you will very quickly feel a change for the better.

Praise yourself especially when you didn't finish the job or did it not quite right. These are the moments that you've criticized yourself before, haven't you? But if you learn to praise yourself, for example, that you were late for work, but came with perfect styling, or because you did not finish the project on time, but did not overload yourself with work. If you learn to turn your criticism into praise like this, your brain will learn to find the positive aspects of your every action. Self-praise will teach your brain to focus on what you do well. Even in those things in which you previously noticed only a reason for self-criticism. By doing this 180-degree focus of attention, your self-esteem will grow quickly and confidently.

Habit # 5: Confidence Is Reps

Take a piece of paper and a pen. Write down any situations during which you feel insecure. Add to this list whenever you feel uncomfortable or anxious. And start adding these actions to your day plan every day. That is, for example, if you are hesitant to communicate with new people, start doing it more often, almost every day. Run into situations in which you feel insecure. To truly boost your self-esteem, step out of your comfort zone and never go back there.

Confidence is usually equal to the number of repetitions. If you are not sure about something, it simply means that you did not do it much.

Think for yourself, you always confidently do what you have done a million times already. Let meeting new people (write in your insecurities) become your new hobby. Make it your thing. Embed in your life the belief, "I'm open to new acquaintances." And get acquainted, get acquainted, communicate more.

In less than a couple of months, you will forget about the insecurity when communicating with new people. And (voila!) You have to move this to the list of things you can do with absolute confidence.

Skill # 6: Treat Yourself with Love

Begin to treat yourself with love. Some people think that self-love and self-confidence are the same thing, but in reality there are many differences between the two. To understand what self-love is, read my article. She explains what is meant by the words “love yourself”.

And in order to learn to love yourself, read my book with the same title, How to Love Yourself. From the link you can download the book at a symbolic price of 99 rubles. This book is a real practical course on the way to yourself! It contains only working techniques and exercises that I myself went through sometime in order to learn to love myself, raise self-esteem and become more confident.

Trait # 7: Breathing Is The Foundation Of Confidence

Breathing and confidence are two mutually reinforcing processes. In the same way that lack of confidence and increased anxiety cause intermittent breathing, intermittent breathing also creates uncertainty and anxiety. And in exactly the same way, correct, full breathing becomes the cause of self-confidence.

Why are breathing and self-confidence so closely related? Because a person with low self-esteem at the subconscious level believes that he does not deserve to take up a lot of space and "take away" a lot of air. You may not realize it, but you literally want to take less for yourself than you leave for others. And this is directly related to your breathing.

In fact, I believe that breathing is the most important part of your self-confidence. Correct breathing is the foundation of confidence, and without it, no technique or exercise can work.

How to breathe correctly? Your breathing should be deep and measured, you need to inhale with your stomach, not your chest. The best way is diaphragmatic breathing. You can read about it briefly and clearly in my other article on. Diaphragmatic breathing is the foundation of your self-confidence as well as your health.

Start breathing correctly today, and implement this breathing method into your life, every day, every moment! And confidence will not keep you waiting.

Skill # 8: Understand and Root Cause

In order to fundamentally become a more confident person, you need to understand and recognize the reasons that have planted in you insecurity and lowered your self-esteem. When you understand the reasons, you have the opportunity to control this process. The processes of awareness, as well as the implementation of the skills of a self-confident person, you can be guaranteed to carry out in work with a specialist.

I am a psychologist, and I conduct individual consultations via Skype. Together with you at the consultation, we will be able to determine what exactly in your life is the cause of your insecurity, and we will work out these reasons, as well as, at a fundamental level, we will lay the skills and habits of a confident person.

On one side of the scale lies fear - on the other there is always freedom!

Conclusion

Congratulations, you have received a lot of useful information on how to become a confident woman and increase your self-esteem. Now you just have to use it correctly. Do not be shelved, start living a quality life right now!

Let's summarize:

• Write a list of 100 things and situations in which you feel confident. And add to this list DAILY
• Think about how you feel when you confidently do something. And include this state in yourself every time you are overcome by excitement or anxiety.
• Stop criticizing yourself and start using only the words that describe your best version. Call yourself who you want to see yourself
• Begin to treat yourself with love. - Learn more about what self-love is. And my book will help you learn to show love to yourself. "How to love yourself"... It consists entirely of practical exercises, through which you will learn to treat yourself with love. Using this link, you can purchase it at a symbolic cost of 99 rubles.
• Breathing is the foundation of your confidence or insecurity. Allow yourself to breathe deeply, measuredly, calmly. You can read briefly about the correct breathing method.
• Take a measured video course that will help you get out of the role of a victim, learn to defend yourself, increase self-esteem and become an independent person. Detailed description and purchase method here are YouTube channel. Improve and develop yourself with me!

  Confidence is strength. Get stronger today!
  Your psychologist Lara Litvinova