Increase self-esteem and confidence of a woman to read. Communicate with optimists and successful people. Self-esteem and the influence of people

Raising self-esteem

How to raise self-esteem for men (women), what is important to know how to act?

Hello dear reader! In this article, I will give the first recommendations on how to raise self-esteem. In other articles on the site, you will find even more information on this topic.

What is self-esteem and how important it is for a person is not worth saying, this is understandable. And what is needed to raise your self-esteem and make it more stable and independent of external factors, in particular people.

First, a real desire (not just a "wishlist", but a firm intention), certain knowledge and 100% responsibility, without which it is impossible to do something worthwhile in life.

It is important to understand that you cannot destroy something and then build a new one in a few days. With the right approach, you can make it fasterbut that doesn't mean fast.

Although there are quick way... It " miracle"that can happen to you, or that you can arrange for yourself. For example, arrange for yourself amnesia. And then you have to shape yourself, your views and your self-esteem anew, unless your memory comes back to you.

True, I do not advise anyone to do this " miracle"In addition, self-esteem is not so difficult to change, there are much more difficult things in life, for example, to find and achieve your goal.

How to improve our self-esteem? How to become more confident?

The first thing is important to keep in mind.

Self-assessment can change not only during life, but even during the day, and more than once, everything depends on the person, in particular, on his character traits, situation and mood at the moment. I think many of you noticed how you felt good and confident just recently, you thought that you could do anything, but some unpleasant event happened (for example, someone told you something), you were upset, and an inner emptiness or even depression immediately manifested itself.

And the most interesting thing is that all this is quite normal, it happens to everyone, even the most confident people, only in their case, it is not an acute (painful) character, because they self-sufficient, they value, love themselves and are guided mainly by their own opinion.

Many are sure that you can always be at your best, you can always be consistently confident and strive for this state. But this is a big misconception - you can't always be strong, confident and the best, always be cheerful and positive!

We have different periods: moments of recession and recovery, sadness and joy, calmness and excitement; only in some it happens less often, in others - more often and in sharp, abrupt jumps.

Depending on the circumstances, you can feel less confident at any time, for example, when your plan did not work out or you are faced with completely new circumstances for yourself, this is a reality that there is no point in resisting.

Causes of tension, weakness, and a constant drop in self-esteem

When a person always tries to be strong and confident, but does not feel that way internally, he is in constant anxiety and tension, he pushes himself into a framework and is forced to constantly control his actions. After all, he believes that one should strive to maintain his status, and he simply cannot relax.

And if suddenly something does not turn out the way he wants (as he expected), if, in his opinion, he shows unacceptable weakness in some words and behavior, then, willingly or unwittingly, he gets upset, gets angry and criticizes himself. This takes a lot of energy, his vitality and immediately lowers self-esteem.

Therefore, to begin with, you should not attach too much importance to this fact, a certain decrease in self-esteem, this is normal, just today was not your day. We all have days that we don't want to remember.

And it is important not to force yourself to always be strong (oh), at a height, but you just need to gradually stabilize your self-esteem, learn to live with the state that you have, admit that you may not be in the best mood and allow yourself to be insecure.

This approach makes it possible to fully relax, and when a person is relaxed, he himself becomes calmer and more confident.

The fact and awareness of this already can help you, give you more freedom, liberate and give you confidence in action.

There is also a very important point, similar to what is written above. When some unpleasant event happened, someone criticized you, "ran over" or maybe they forgot about you (ignored), treated you disrespectfully - and you expected something different and for this reason experienced unpleasant feelings, and your self-esteem dropped , besides, you might think that it is you who are to blame, you are somehow not like that - do not engage in self-digging and destructive analysis.

The reason may not be in you at all, and even if this is so, then nothing good, except pain, you will not achieve by self-digging.

What's happening? Self-esteem has dropped, you are upset and against the background of this bad mood you are trying to understand why this happened, what was done or said wrong. Your mood and self-esteem from such unpleasant thoughts instantly decreases even more... Think about it, this happens often.

In this situation, it is impossible to draw useful conclusions (for this you need to have good self-control and be), and all this is only the seeming impression that, they say, I will delve into myself, find a solution (some words of justification) and I will feel better.

Here you just need to internally completely resign with what happened, leave all introspection and boldly move on.

And one of the main reasons why, in principle, one should never engage in self-flagellation and self-digging - this does not in any way support your confidence, but on the contrary only aggravates your situation and general condition. Why this happens, you can read in the article "", about how stressful thoughts and emotions affect our body.

As for the experience, which is important to learn from situations, then this should be done calm, cold introspection, not criticizing, not berating yourself and not leaving the imprint of your whole past.

Such introspection is not done immediately, but some time after the event, when you have already calmed down, this makes it possible to look at the situation. a sober look... After all, only with a cool head, without unnecessary emotions, in a calm atmosphere, you can draw objective conclusions, and not blame yourself or others.

It is even more desirable to do it on paper. So the brain perceives and processes information better, you will see better (clearer) what is important to you, and what is just harmful nonsense.

From the whole analysis, only the very essence is taken, that is, a piece of real experience, a short (laconic) conclusion without any anger and criticism addressed to you, you find and draw a positive conclusion (benefit for yourself), this is real introspection and useful, constructive, easy criticism.

Many condemn themselves so mercilessly that there is no way to come to inner peace, confidence and love for oneself. But is it possible through violence and guilt to come to spiritual harmony? How can you raise your self-esteem? Think for yourself.

And yet, I know perfectly well how it pulls, in spite of all the warnings, to continue digging and introspection while remaining emotionally shattered, because I want to quickly find a logical solution to calm myself, but very often this does not work, just keep in mind.

Conclusion:

Never engage in self-flagellation and self-digging;

Introduce yourself when you are calm and better on paper;

Temporary uncertainty and a decline in self-esteem are normal, this happens to everyone, just take it easy.

Self-esteem and the influence of people

It is always important to remember that no assessments of other people should not affect your self-esteem, they can cause something internally unpleasant or good in you, depending on whether they praise or criticize you, but this influence should be more like ripples on the surface of the water, and not a tsunami that destroys everything. Whatever anyone tells you, learn to treat it with a detachment, without unnecessary emotions.

If you did or said something wrong and think that you are wrong, there is no point in dwelling on this, you have already done it, and nothing will be returned. Over time, you will still have the opportunity to correct something, if necessary, and it is not so important who and what thinks of you, the main thing is how you think about yourself.

Exactly what we ourselves are we think about ourselves, the most important thing , so self-assessment is called self-assessment, and not mom-assessment, dad-assessment, colleagues-assessment, etc., let the rest think what they want, it is their legal right and their problems to think about something there.

By the way, most people themselves are fixated on what others think of them - how they look, how they are looked at, how they are treated, they think about control over their behavior, words and facial expressions - and, in fact, they don't really care up to you, so worry less.

1) Your thoughts and words to yourself

Talk to yourself, your thoughts are your friends, your thoughts should to help to act, not harm you. And I only mean sound thoughts, and not everything that can come to mind.

You cannot believe everything that we can consciously and unconsciously think about. These or those of our thoughts depend on many circumstances: on mood, general tone and many external and internal factors, and many of them do not even have a hint of any meaning (absurd) and useless. Pay attention only to positive and constructive thoughts.

How you talk to yourself is very important.

Try to give yourself good, successful thoughts and talk to yourself as a friend (do not be afraid, this is relentlessness :), this is a very useful and good thing). Self-esteem is, first of all, attitude to oneself... A good attitude towards yourself, no matter what you do, no matter how bad you have done in relation to the morality and opinions of others.

What words do you say to yourself? What do you feel? What are your thoughts contributing to?

If you say to yourself: " i won't succeed", " i am not capable, I cannot", "where should I go to this", "i won't go to get acquainted, what if she doesn't like me"or "I'm a fool, I'm not like that"- these thoughts are the way innowhere... You will definitely not achieve anything with them.

The reality is that if you think you’ll fail, it’s doesn't mean at allthat you really will not succeed, it only says that you may not succeed, but it can also work, if you are brave and try hard.

And if it seems to you that you will not be understood, appreciated and will be laughed at, this does not mean at all that it will be so.

Courage and deeds are very much appreciated by others, even if they are unsuccessful. Reasonable people will see that you are one of those who are able to act!

2) If you want to have stable self-esteem, don't focus on your failures and shortcomings.

It is trite, but this is true, although many do not succeed. Failures happen to everyone. Don't get hung up on this thought when you're about to do something: " I may not succeed"If you think so, most likely it will happen, or it will turn out badly.

Thoughts of failure are blocksthat arise in our head as protection against a miss.

But if you are afraid of everything, then what will you achieve? You need to react to such harmful “thought-blocks” - just calmly ignore them. It is best to passively observe yourself and everything that happens around you, without analyzing anything, and just do what you decide (despite the possibility of failure).

A simple word or a few words spoken to oneself helps a lot. For example, such an unpleasant thought came: " A what if I don't succeed at all", answer yourself:" I can, I can do it, and let it work out"Do not carry on a meaningless conversation with you anymore. Just do it and see the result.

Don't be afraid to make mistakes.

Only the one who pleases everyone or does nothing is not mistaken. We all have the right to make mistakes, and we all make mistakes. A mistake is an opportunity to use your bad experience in order to correct actions in the future and do something better. One must be afraid not of mistakes, but of inaction and ignorance of one's own (desires).

As the saying goes: our success is built on the ruins of our mistakes, and it is impossible to achieve success without making mistakes.

3) Never blame yourself. Again, it is important to get rid of the feeling of guilt, no matter what thoughts and beliefs interfere with you.

If you have constantly blamed yourself before, this feeling settles inside, in your subconscious).

And it starts to work as a background, automatically. You yourself do not notice how you suddenly begin to feel guilty, sometimes having done absolutely nothing wrong.

For example, in your direction could to raise some suspicion others, and you mean it just for a moment thought , the feeling of guilt could immediately arise inside.

Whatever you do wrong or bad, you can draw conclusions for the future, but do not blame yourself.

4) Don't make excuses. Justification itself creates negative emotions. Justifying, you are trying to prove something to someone, already implying that you may be to blame.

But even if you prove something, the sediment will still remain on the soul, and justification, no matter how you look, implies guilt. So never make excuses, even if you are guilty, it is better to just apologize if you really are to blame, and that's all.

5) Fear... Good defensive reaction of the body. It occurs in all people without exception. This is a natural sense of self-defense. But if fear completely takes possession of a person, then expect trouble.

6) Learn to accept gratitude. Many, having done a good deed, hesitate to accept gratitude, compliments and praise. But it is important to demonstrate to yourself that you are worthy of this gratitude; pride is not pride, pride in yourself, your successes and actions always increases self-esteem. It feeds you, and you can resist it unwisely. And if you are praised, then you deserve it, you need to accept it with dignity.

By avoiding and refusing gratitude, you subconsciously think that you are not worth it, and unconsciously, from within, you fix this unnecessary constraint and shyness in yourself.

Next time you get praised, maybe you should believe it and be happy for yourself? Yes, you may be unfamiliar, but still learn to receive gratitude with dignity.

As for modesty, this is not bad when it is on business and alternates with good arrogance.

Praising yourself to your beloved is a small but very useful practice that is important to apply. Praise yourself for everything you can, for any simple and useful things.

I made lunch - great, I'm great, however, the chicken is burnt - nothing, another time it will turn out better. I washed my panties - great, but I'm just super.

7) If you are always or almost all the time, , pay attention to the past, the opinions of friends and family, wanting support and confirmation of the correctness of your decision, then you are already dependent on your own.

Such dependence on the opinions of others - the presence of self-doubt and self-esteem will not increase you.

And by shifting decisions to others, you discard responsibility for possible consequences. Yes, in case of failure you will have someone to push and "otmazatsya", but in case of success, you will not be able to feel a "winner" inside yourself (that you COULD YOURSELF), which means you will not increase confidence in your abilities!

Just try to make not too important decisions to begin with, most importantly, without looking back at others.

Considered, firmly decided, period. Even if it is the wrong decision. Just try to make sure that the decision doesn't harm the people around you. There is a fine line here, but this must be done in order to feel in yourself that you, too, can make a decision, and you have your real opinion.

8) The level of aspiration also affects self-esteem. If you put in front of yourself too lofty goals that cannot be realized in a relatively short time, long-term failure to realize it can undermine your spirit, disappoint and lower your self-esteem.

Set high goals and go for them, but they should be realistically achievable in the near future..

Plan your goals, divide in parts, do one, move on to another. After achieving your goal and becoming more confident and strong internally, set yourself a more meaningful goal.

9) How to improve self-esteem? Practice in front of a mirror, for both women and men.

True, this exercise is not for everyone. If you feel severe discomfort, and this will continue every time for 3-4 days, leave it, it's just not yours now. A different approach will be needed here.

It all depends on the perception of a person and some points that I will not describe here anymore.

While practicing, refer to yourself as your integral "I", do not focus only on the appearance, individual features, any thoughts or inner state. You are all together, one whole, this is how you need to approach it.

Exercise can help well, but it takes time, because here you are programming yourself, your subconscious, and it's not so easy.

It is important to do the practice without straining, calmly and without fuss, without forcing yourself through clenched teeth, to say: "I love myself and".

You should say this, even if at first not with love and without faith, but with ease for yourself, that is, without tension. It doesn't matter if you don't like something about your appearance.

In front of the mirror, repeat these words for at least two minutes. It is better to do this in the morning, as soon as you get up, and your brain is not fully awake, not loaded with thoughts and is still clean, this will make it easier to accept information.

Smiling slightly, tell yourself: " I love and respect myself both in my successes and failures. I love myself in sickness and health. I accept myself as I am with all the good and bad that I have. I respect and love myself. I am a unique person, and I have my own strengths and talents, and there is no one who is completely similar to me externally and internally. I respect and love myself, regardless of my "flaws". I appreciate and love the way I am".

It is very important here to just calmly say this to yourself, and not to look closely at every little thing that you like or dislike, not to get involved in all kinds of unpleasant thoughts. You just have to say it to yourself and go.

10) Make a list of what you are good at and are good at .

Write everything that is and is true. Describe in detail your positive qualities (they all have), achievements and skills. After writing everything on a piece of paper, read it aloud. Try to read cheerfully and with feeling. If at the end of the reading you feel pleasant emotions, then everything worked out, and you need to strive for this.

At least once a day, you can spend 2-3 minutes on this. Take one of your skills and describe it, then read it. The next day (or every other day), describe something else.

11) Take small steps to what you want. Excessive tension, exhausting is absolutely useless. You feel that now you do not want to do anything at all, you want to rest, rest, gain strength and energy.

How to raise self-esteem. An important point!

Do not wait until your self-esteem is strengthened to make up your mind, act little by little already right now.

The more you do something, the more you decide on steps that are meaningful to you, the faster you will feel confidence, and with this you will begin to get better and more calmly.

Nothing raises self-esteem (confidence) like - cessation of self-criticism and new actions!

Try to do more of what you like. If now you have to go to an unloved job, then clearly define for yourself that you are doing it, because now it is necessary and it benefits you, provides for your family, etc. That is, formulate the value in order to eliminate (weaken) the negative connotation of the situation, otherwise the unloved work will in itself reduce your importance and self-esteem.

I don’t like work, there is no need for drastic changes, continue to work, but start looking for something that will be more to your taste than you would like to do. A favorite activity (hobby) has a very beneficial effect on inner satisfaction, self-esteem and life in general. Make your life more interesting!

I draw your attention to the fact that in the process of working on oneself, pendulums may appear - this is when everything was good, and then suddenly it became bad. Treat these moments as temporary troubles. Just be calm during these times!

The most difficult thing is to be patient and achieve the first noticeable successes, and then it will be easier. As your self-esteem grows, your uniqueness begins to unfold, new perspectives will open up. You will be able to take more risks and be less dependent on others.

Finally: how to raise self-esteem?

You may experience anxiety wherever there are people without realizing why you are so anxious. One of the reasons noted above is judgment. You are afraid of how you are perceived and what others might think of you, this comes from your unstable self-esteem.

Therefore, a small but important advice - do not compare yourself to others and do not judge others... In comparison, you will still lose in something, somewhere, to someone, you are good and unique, so be who you are. Such evaluative thoughts always lead to anxiety and tension.

Do not judge others, because by judging, you consciously and unconsciously evaluate them, which means that you will always feel inside yourself that they are evaluating you.

This manifests itself in the so-called mind reading phenomenon, when you think that you know what other people think of you. Moreover, what you think about yourself, you kind of "transfer" into their head, and it seems to you that this is what they think about you.

By and large, all people have different thinking, and we cannot know what others think of us, we can only assume. But what does it matter if, for example, you think something bad about someone, he won't care.

The same is the case in your case - there is no point in worrying that someone might think something about you, this cannot in any way affect your success, peace of mind and happiness in general, unless you wind up yourself with some then thoughts. Only you with your thinking can bring yourself to emotional stress, stress and bad mood. Remember this.

Having ceased to condemn people, the anxiety formed on assessment and judgment will become weaker and weaker, and there will be fewer and fewer such thoughts.

Honest and reasoned self-esteem is a woman's fulcrum in life. No one but ourselves can determine our price. And often neither beauty, nor wealth, nor intelligence have anything to do with this.

All these criteria are relative, and depend only on what patterns we are trying to fit ourselves into.

Why we underestimate ourselves

Guess who is the most infallible and sober evaluator of your own "I"? Have you guessed? This is a child. He is completely confident in his uniqueness and uniqueness.

The child knows for sure that he deserves love and admiration. He treats himself very well and with calm confidence expects the same attitude from others. And he gets it. He has the correct self-esteem. This happens for two reasons:

1. The child has not yet learned to depend on other people's opinions, assessments, and comparisons. He is not even aware of the existence of such. He is aware of his intrinsic value and uniqueness intuitively, simply because he is.
2. He loves himself and firmly knows that he deserves universal love simply for the very fact of his coming into this world.

This childish look at oneself and the feeling of one's uniqueness, exclusivity and self-sufficiency is the surest instrument for one's assessment.

Low self-esteem is a sad realization of the fact that we do not fit into certain criteria in any way. It doesn't matter who set these criteria: a work colleague, an upstairs neighbor, a public opinion poll, or ourselves. Women are especially vulnerable after divorce.

Self-loathing is the root of low self-esteem. In order for others to love you, you must first love yourself.

After all, if we ourselves cannot find anything worthy of love in our own personality, then others will not look for anything. Women tend to ignore this simple fact and find thousands of reasons to lower the price of their person.

It seems to us that the reasons for uncertainty lie in well-defined things, such as:

• Low social status
• Marital status of a woman, more precisely, the breakdown of the family
• Age advancing on the heels
• Appearance, in which, alas, not everything is perfect.
• The belief that the world will not lose anything without her presence
• Social phobia, or a simple fear of communicating with people.

And there are a hundred such parameters of "discrepancy". What kind of self-love is there when the price of our merits falls like the dollar.

Where is adequate self-esteem hidden?

For a comfortable existence in this world, a woman will have to do the hardest thing: to love herself. Accept and love yourself with calm confidence for who you are.

What is the secret of “young people” who are over 50, bathing in love and adoration? What do fatty bbws and broken "divorces" deserve to admire? How did they manage to raise their self-esteem and fill their lives with confidence?

And, imagine, even persons whose social status has not risen beyond the summit of the "office cleaner" feel an exciting harmony with the outside world!

They just, like children, lack an internal rating scale. This has nothing to do with complacency, narcissism, arrogance and a sense of superiority (such traits can only scare and repulse).

Such women exist against the background of calm, benevolent love for their person, as against the background of a constant quiet melody.

You are what you feel and you are what you think about. Make sure your feelings make you a happy and confident woman. Consider if you want to be in the place where your thoughts roam.

Signs of self-doubt

How to improve a woman's self-esteem? To answer this question, consider character traits unsure personalities:

Painful desire to please and please others.

A woman who suffers from a deficit of self-love seeks to get it from others. She is very undemanding to people, she has a slightly ingratiating look. She is ready to serve as soon as possible. But this is not done out of altruistic motives, but in order to deserve at least some approval.

Unhealthy dependence on the opinions of others

The actions of women with low self-esteem are guided by a defining thought: what will they think about it? It is important for her how the Universe will assess one or another of her actions: from Aunt Masha from the 2nd floor to representatives of friendly civilizations. And, while she is tormented by this issue, the Universe lives its own life calmly, not noticing her presence.

Increased attention to your appearance.

A simple detail immediately betrays the martyrs of poor self-esteem - clothes. Take a closer look at the fairer sex on the street. If you see a woman in too high heels, know that this is a victim of self-esteem.

Not a single confident lady would torture herself with such an inconvenient way of getting around. She has a friendly "don't care" about someone else's opinions. He prefers convenience and comfort in clothes. Carries it for himself.

Struck by low self-esteem, dress in order to sparkle in the eyes of others. They wear clothes for others, spitting on their own comforts and preferences.

This does not mean that you should forget about beauty in clothes and style. But you should not abuse hairpins either. If you are confident in your personal self-esteem, you can choose a wardrobe that will be not only pleasing to the eye, but also comfortable.

Passion for all kinds of diets and a persistent desire to control weight are one of the signs of low self-esteem.

The stamps of beauty and attractiveness put pressure on women. The Internet is replete with wonderful diets that are designed to make you slim and irresistible. In pharmacies, miracle cures are displayed that promise the same.

A false impression is created that removing the “extra” 5 kilograms, a woman will increase her own self-esteem.

In fact, nothing will change, except for one thing: the scales will indeed show 5 kilograms less. Everything else will remain the same. And the problem of increasing a woman's self-esteem is not going anywhere.

Fear to strike up a conversation.

From childhood, alas, we do not always endure and bring love, adequate self-esteem and self-confidence to maturity. Parents are not chosen. Therefore, from childhood many complexes and fears can drag on. If a child is constantly yelled at and pulled at for every little thing, he will grow up in fear of society, formed low self-esteem... A woman obsessed with complexes will never dare to start a conversation first for fear that she will not be supported.

Unnatural and tense behavior.

Confident in her self-sufficiency, the lady spreads waves of positive and friendliness around her. Everywhere she feels as free, confident and relaxed as at home in her usual slippers. The people around, having fallen under her calm charm, also relax and mentally “change into comfortable shoes”, their mood rises.

A habit of not making eye contact is a sign of self-esteem problems.

It is difficult to overcome the fear of looking into the eyes of the interlocutor, it is difficult even on the street not to wander over other people's heads. What if they accidentally reflect something that we don't want to see: mockery, irritation, assessment ... No, it is better to continue to look through people, as through transparent glass.

Fear of being the first to smile at someone

Low self-esteem excludes such direct manifestations as a simple smile at a casual passer-by, a cashier in a store, or a boss at work. Sticky fear blocks such an intention even on the approaches: what if my smile remains unanswered?

How to improve a woman's self-esteem - 6 main rules

1. Take for granted the fact that you are - you are unique and unique. A man is a piece. There have never been and never will be in the world like you.
2. To raise self-esteem, do not drive yourself into other people's narrow frames, do not adjust yourself to the patterns imposed by someone. As the heroine of the film "In love of my own free will" said:
   

   “Each person has his own pedestal. You shouldn't climb on someone else's. "

3. Do not seek to please. There is always something unnatural and disturbing in this. You don't have to be liked by anyone but yourself. To please yourself is more than enough. Throw away slavish dependence on other people's assessments and become a free and self-confident woman!
4. Praise yourself for any trifle, do not scold yourself even for mistakes. If your self-esteem is already low, you will not raise it by swearing at yourself. How else to increase a woman's self-esteem?
5. Create a Diary in which you will describe all your strengths and achievements. In moments of blues, you can reread your notes and get inspired.
6. Face your fears.

It is impossible to raise self-esteem without getting rid of many small fears and horror stories that live in the subconscious.

To do this, you can try the "Powerful Lantern" exercise.

Imagine that there is darkness and darkness in your subconscious. You can't see anything in it. Everything there is hiding in dark corners.

Mentally turn on an imaginary flashlight and direct a bright light into these very corners. See there lurking fears, long-standing grievances, an ancient ruler with which you still measure your personality. After that, start boldly scooping up all unnecessary trash from these hiding places and throwing it into a historical dump.

And in the vacated premises, you can let in good, proven tenants: fearlessness, freedom from other people's opinions, adequate self-esteem, confidence in your uniqueness and love. Love and fear don't go together. Fear blocks all our emotions and actions. Love kills fear, increases self-esteem.

• To improve women's self-esteem, psychologists recommend choosing films, books, websites, music and surroundings carefully. Take only what carries a powerful charge of positive energy. Learn to find information that inspires, inspires and motivates you. Avoid the negative: turn off the program with bad news, do not watch heavy films, do not listen to sad music, do not communicate with whining friends. Increasing your importance is possible only in the company of solar optimists.
• Start doing good deeds. Take your grandmother across the road, feed a hungry kitten, help a neighbor boy write an essay, run to get some bread for your veteran grandfather. Let the deeds be small, but a positive attitude towards life begins with small good deeds. This has a double benefit: you finally get distracted from yourself and switch to someone else. By helping your neighbor, you will automatically start thinking of yourself in a more positive way and increase your self-esteem.
• Do not enter into your head thoughts that do not carry visible benefits. Do not suppress useless and harmful thoughts, but simply automatically replace them with useful and positive ones.

Affirmations, or I am the most charming and attractive.

A funny and funny film was once filmed. And, nevertheless, there is a lot of useful information there. Remember the spell:

“I am the most charming and attractive. All men are crazy about me. "

Now it is fashionable to call such self-hypnosis affirmations.

Self-esteem affirmations will work if you follow a few simple rules:

• They must be repeated meaningfully, clearly imagining everything that you say. Casting spells automatically that are not tinged with feelings and emotions will not bring the desired result.
• You need to believe in what you are trying to inspire yourself in order to increase self-esteem. Imagine that your wish has already come true. Imagine yourself as the woman you want to see yourself.... Trust that she is you. Get used to it, feel how free and harmonious it is. Think about how this ideal, self-confident woman would behave in this or that situation.
• Self-hypnosis to increase self-esteem should not be negative. There must be no “not” particle in it.
  The subconscious mind, sadly enough, first catches only this particle. And reduces all affirmations to zero. What you want to instill in order to boost your own self-esteem should start with a confident affirmation and proclamation.
  For example, a wrong affirmation sounds like this: "I am not afraid to communicate with people, I am not fat, I am not stupid, I am not shy."
  An example of correct self-hypnosis: "I am fearless, I am loved, I can do anything, I can do anything."

Affirmations to increase women's self-esteem can be invented endlessly, depending on how you want to see yourself.

Several helpful exercises to boost self-esteem

And then in difficult situations, eliminate, and give him the opportunity to act. It is you who are afraid of something, it is you who have low self-esteem. And the twins are all right. Let her go on stage at the right time.

For example, psychologists treat stuttering this way. They say to the stutterer: “Think that Petya Ivanov lives in you. You stutter, but Petya does not. Now let him talk instead of you. " This method works well for practical psychology.

Exercise "10 seconds". Psychology claims that external data and beautiful clothes keep the interlocutor's attention only for a few seconds. In these few seconds, you are not yet being judged. The score automatically starts to be credited only after you speak and smile.

Try experimenting. The main thing is to confidently hold out for a few seconds, and then amaze your opponent with your charm, pleasant communication and a radiant smile. This is what they will later evaluate when speaking about you.

The question "How to increase a woman's self-esteem in front of her husband" can be answered in two words:

• Don't wear tattered robes at home.
• Do not be afraid to spend a little money and time on yourself to gain unearthly beauty.

This will pay off with attention from your spouse, and it will give you confidence in your own irresistibility.

Don't be afraid to be yourself. You are beautiful and amazing! You are the most charming and attractive! You are a piece, exclusive piece! Love yourself and your self-esteem will grow by leaps and bounds!

Our self-esteem affects all areas of life. On self-image, on decisions and actions that we take, as well as on achievements. For a woman, no less than for a man, it is important to have a healthy self-esteem and be self-confident. How to increase self-esteem and self-confidence in a woman we will take a closer look at in this article

Based on self-esteem, overestimated or underestimated, it is clearly written in our head what is good and what is bad. What is right and what is wrong. How we should look and how we should behave. How our other half should look and behave. How our and other people's children should behave, etc. It all depends on how highly we value ourselves and how much our real ideas about ourselves are at odds with our ideals.

What constitutes self-esteem and self-image?

Self-esteem is constantly changing throughout life due to different circumstances and the people around us.

Self-assessment can be of two types:

• Internal;
• External.

Internal or individual, this is how a person evaluates himself according to various criteria.

Such as:

• Quality of character;
• Abilities: physical, intellectual, creative, communication, etc .;
• The level of their achievements for their age in all areas of life.

External or collective self-esteem. This self-esteem shows the level of significance in the social environment in which a person is or wants to be. His external data, valuable character traits, skills or achievements for a given environment.

Psychological research shows that self-esteem built on internal foundations is more comfortable for a person than built on external foundations.

This self-esteem is more stable. Such people better and more easily overcome difficulties and are not tormented by constant doubts that something is wrong with them when someone looks at them askance.

Top 6 Reasons for Low Self-Esteem in Women

Low self-esteem comes from childhood. Yes, no matter how strange it may seem, the root of the problem lies in our distant childhood.

1 Reason. Perhaps your childhood was one in which you lacked praise, support. And there was a big resentment at the parents, who, in your opinion, did not give something, did not like it. But childhood is the past, and you live in the present.

Every adult is free to take responsibility for his own actions and decisions. There is no need to blame parents and the methods of their upbringing for problems and failures. The moment has come when you need to take responsibility for your happiness and self-confidence.

2 Reason. Envy. A great influence on the formation of self-esteem, coming from childhood, was made by the people whom we then envied. It was they who reflected a stronger influence on the formation of our personality than our close friends and acquaintances that we had then.

3 Reason. Your partner. Perhaps you are unlucky and instead of a loving and caring one, there is a man nearby who negatively affects you. With words, actions, trampling on all women's confidence and faith in themselves.

I think this situation is familiar to many women. But only a few are able to change something. Silently and uncomplainingly, they endure humiliation and wild mental pain for years.

4 Reason. Social standards. Some women just harass themselves in front of the mirror. "Why am I so ugly?" and "Who needs me like that?" and so on. Such women are very susceptible to the influence of society. It is he who dictates to them the standards of beauty and success that they must have at all costs. Therefore, they are always dissatisfied with their appearance, their lives. And then depression and emptiness in the soul. There is no time for confidence and high self-esteem.

Most female problems arise from dislike and self-doubt!

5 Reason. Negative experiences from the past. Every person in life has faced situations when either he was not presented in the best light by other people, or he himself performed such actions after which he did not feel very well. All these situations undermine a person's confidence in himself and his strength. Many women are engaged in "self-digging" do not give themselves rest. Fantasizing on the topic: "Whatever it was, if this did not happen to me then." These thoughts, literally, occupy the entire space surrounding the woman.

6 Reason. Excessive anxiety. Anxious people are more likely to have low self-esteem. They read from the surrounding space negative, which could hypothetically threaten them. A key environmental hazard for such a person can be another person with his opinion, with an assessment, with an attitude. Therefore, it is often very difficult for anxious people to have high self-esteem.

Have you ever asked yourself the question: How is confidence different from overconfidence?

Confidence is based on real achievements, and self-confidence is not based on anything, this is a kind of inner state of "I'm cool". Overconfident people try to prove their confidence to other people. A confident person is really confident in himself, he does not need to prove anything to anyone.

How a woman can boost her self-esteem and self-confidence - 8 easy steps

You need to build a strategy for the development of your self-esteem:

1. It is imperative to learn to love yourself. Loving yourself means treating yourself with respect, dignity, respect. To do this, you need to compliment yourself, praise yourself. Be sure to repeat the words out loud. It doesn't matter what others think of you. Modesty may adorn a woman, but this is not the case. After all, you need to love yourself, and this requires training:

“What delicious pies I have, I'm a super hostess”, “What beautiful eyes I have”, etc.

1. Never berate yourself. If you did, say something wrong: "I am smart and happy, and every mistake is a step towards perfection."

1. Filter what other people say about you. If in your presence someone said that you did not act very well or that you let yourself go, gained extra pounds. Stop such conversations with the words: “You don't need to talk about me like that. These are my favorite kilograms, I will deal with them myself. "

1. Some women are too insecure, squeezed. To say to yourself that something is very pleasant, it is very difficult for them to praise themselves. In this case, you can do it gradually. For example, instead of "I am a gorgeous woman", you can say "I am a beautiful woman." Come up with the praise you want to hear from other people. Use words that you truly believe in.

1. Surround yourself with people with high self-esteem. If there are people with low self-esteem next to you, they try to raise it at the expense of others. Such people can humiliate, insult. This happens unconsciously in them, since it is a common defensive reaction.

Your environment should be made up of people who love what they do.

A very good option for such acquaintances, these are all kinds of trainings and seminars on various topics. There you can meet people with common views and interests.

1. Start something new. If you want to feel your strength, you have to lift weights. Everyone has the power, but not everyone knows about it. The more often you try something new, the more of your strengths you will see in yourself.

Many women are looking for a job to their liking and cannot find it. However, if they look into the very depths of our consciousness, then for sure, there will be a very cool idea. Even the craziest. The main thing is that you like it. Take the first step towards implementing it. Perhaps a new business will bring you not only self-confidence, but also not a bad income. What is also important for a whole person.

1. You should not chase other people's successes. No matter how successful you are, there will always be someone or someone who will be more successful than you. It lowers your self-esteem, in your own eyes. Be yourself in all circumstances.

1. There is no need to tell and show everyone your genius and superiority. If you are truly a self-sufficient person, people will see and understand this anyway.

I am sure that you, even just by reading this article, have become a few percent more confident in yourself. After all, you have found the strength and time to study this topic in detail. This means only one thing - you strive for self-development and self-knowledge. That which is the basis of all that is stated in this article.

Want to check your self-esteem right now?

If so, I suggest you take this test. It was developed by M.A. Panfilova for the diagnosis of children. However, psychologists are actively using it to diagnose adults, slightly changing and adapting some interpretations.

Test "Cactus". Take a sheet of A4 paper, a pen or pencil. Before starting testing, you need to answer 3 questions:

1. What is my self-esteem?
2. How confident am I?
3. How badly do I need the care and attention of my loved ones?

After completing the test, it will become clear whether your opinion of yourself and the test results coincide.

Test instructions:

• A sheet of paper is placed on the table in an upright position;
• We draw a cactus. Only you decide what it will be. Complete freedom of your imagination is given.

Test results:

Fold your patterned paper in half. A line appears in the middle of the picture. This is a line of self-esteem.

• If the fold line goes through the middle of your drawing, then it speaks of healthy, adequate self-esteem.
• If the drawing is above the fold line, then this indicates an overestimated self-esteem.
• If the drawing is below the fold line, then self-esteem is underestimated.

• The vertical line in the middle is the line of the present;
• The line on the left is the line of the past;
• On the right side, this is the line of the future.

• If the vertical line crosses the drawing in the middle, then this indicates that you are living in the present.
• The drawing is in the left corner of the sheet - stuck in the past. Try to work on your past. Perhaps something bothers you about him. Resentment, understatement, guilt, etc.
• The drawing is drawn on the right side. This suggests that you are living dreams of the future. These may be your dreams that you want to realize, but you never dare to do it. Think about what you can do now. Is it worth putting off for a bright future what you can get in the present.

Now let's look at your drawing in more detail.

• The cactus is drawn in a pot. This suggests that you need home comfort, the support of loved ones. It's not that you don't have it, it's just that this moment is very important to you.
• A desert cactus is drawn. This suggests that you feel much more comfortable alone than in the company of other people. They are confident in themselves and in their abilities.
• Large pot and small cactus. You are in dire need of home warmth and support of loved ones.
• The presence of large, closely spaced needles (thorns) on a cactus is a sign of aggression. If the needles stick out and are located along the entire contour of the cactus, then this is external aggression. Which can manifest itself as quarrels with other people, an uncontrolled stream of swear words, etc.

Large needles are only on inside cactus, this indicates the presence of internal aggression. She manifests itself in a constantly bad mood, not wanting to see something good. Bitten nails and lips are also signs of this type of aggression.

• There is only one cactus in the picture - this suggests that you are an introvert, that is, a person who is more comfortable alone. If several cacti are drawn, then you are an extrovert - a person who loves to be in society, loves to communicate a lot, has a large circle of acquaintances, etc.

If you have one cactus, but has several small shoots, then you are of the mixed type.

• By the number of shoots on a cactus, you can also determine the number of people who are significant to you today.
• The presence of flowers anywhere in your drawing speaks of sexuality and femininity.
• The presence of a window sill, stand, or earth in a drawing may indicate a person who is firmly on their feet. He has his own vision of the world, goals to which he strives.

Conclusion

To finish this article, I would like to, in my opinion, a brilliant phrase, said by Robert Frost:

Something that we hide

will create uncertainty in us,

until we acknowledge that it is something - ourselves.

I hope this article helped you understand how a woman can increase her self-esteem and self-confidence. Perhaps you have your own secret techniques on this topic. Share them in the comments.

Good luck and patience!

A fluttering gait, a proudly raised head, a chiseled posture, eyes radiating confidence and charisma: these qualities are inherent in women who have been able to become self-confident and increase their self-esteem.

To become a successful person, to have many fans and friends, it is important to work on yourself, constantly strive for the best. And for this it is necessary to cultivate the qualities of absolute confidence and strong convictions.

What does self-esteem affect in a woman's life?

According to psychologists, self-esteem problems can affect all areas of a woman's life:

• success in the professional field;
• communication with friends, colleagues and relatives;
• well-being of family life;
• physical and psychological health.

How to become a confident woman and increase your self-esteem? Psychologist's advice will help

Statistics show that the fair sex is more prone to low self-esteem than men. Interestingly, almost every woman knows whether she has problems in this matter or not.

Test to determine the level of attitude towards yourself

Psychological tests can help you pinpoint if a person has self-esteem problems.

If it turns out that self-esteem is underestimated, then it is necessary to carry out work to improve the personality.

The test below will give an accurate definition of the level of attitude towards oneself. You need to honestly answer all questions and immediately count the points scored. At the end of the test, all points are added up. The resulting figure will show what level the survey participant belongs to.

Test: Determining the level of self-esteem

Do you often think that you shouldn't have done or said something?

1. Yes, often - 1 point;
2. No, not often - 3 points.

When interacting with a witty and excellent conversationalist, you:

1. You will do everything to surpass him in wit - 5 points;
2. Do not want to participate in such a competition, thereby showing the superiority of the interlocutor -1 point.

Which opinion suits you best?

1. No luck, anything can be achieved only by hard work - 5 points;
2. Success comes only by a happy coincidence - 1 point;
3. In difficult situations, luck and perseverance will not help. Real help comes from someone who can comfort and cheer - 3 points.

How will you feel when you see your funny cartoon?

1. You will laugh heartily, paying attention to the good similarity - 3 points;
2. You will be upset, but don’t show the view - 1 point;
3. In response, start joking at the interlocutor - 4 points.

Do you often do work alone that should be done by several people?

1. Yes - 1 point;
2. No - 5 points;
3. I don't know 3 points.

What perfume will you choose as a gift for your friend?

1. Those that you like - 5 points;
2. Those that you do not like, but, in your opinion, will like your friend - 3 points;
3. Those recently seen in a commercial - 1 point.

How often do you imagine situations in which you behave in a way that you would never have behaved in real life?

1. Yes - 1 point;
2. No - 5 points;
3. I don't know 3 points.

Your young work colleague has achieved better results in the service than you. Will it upset you?

1. Yes - 1 point;
2. No - 5 points;
3. Not really - 3 points.

Do you take pleasure in arguing with someone?

1. Yes - 5 points;
2. No - 1 point;
3. I don't know - a point.

Close your eyes and try to imagine any color. You presented:

1. Light blue, blue, white - 1 point;
2. Green, yellow - 3 points;
3. Black, red - 5 points.

How to read test results

• If the score is from 38 to 50then your self-esteem is too high. You are confident and satisfied with yourself. Both in the social circle and in everyday life often emphasize your "I", put personal opinion above others and try to dominate the interlocutors. Criticism of others is your usual business, but you don't care what they think of you. "I don't like others, but I love myself." The closer your number is to 50, the more this phrase suits you. High self-esteem prevents you from accepting criticism.
• If the score is from 24 to 37, then your self-esteem is adequate. You completely trust yourself, and your life is filled with self-acceptance. You can always find a way out of difficult situations. You are usually happy with yourself and the people around you. You can always be a support for your loved ones and colleagues.
• If the score is from 10 to 23then your self-esteem is low. You are not at all happy with yourself. Your intelligence, appearance, achievements, abilities, age and even gender provoke dissatisfaction and doubt in you. It is difficult for you to succeed at work and the opinion of others seriously affects your life.

Any woman, realizing that she belongs to the third group, must do everything to become self-confident. To increase self-esteem, you need to understand the reasons that led to this.

Causes of low self-esteem and how to fix them

There are many reasons that lead to a decrease in self-esteem. Among the most common are the following:

• improper upbringing in childhood;
• frequent failures in childhood;
• there are no specific goals in life;
• unhealthy surrounding society;
• various diseases and defects in appearance.

It is necessary to analyze each cause in more detail to find a way to eliminate it. Only by getting rid of them, you can come to the result.

Improper parenting

The bulk of psychological deficiencies arise in early childhood. Poor self-esteem is no exception. Excessively exaggerated demands of parents, reproaches, criticism, lack of affection and praise lead to it. If a child gets used to such an attitude, then in the future he will already behave as if he deserves it.

Frequent failures in childhood

If parents do not support their child, in case of his failures, then their child's attitude towards himself will only worsen. Overestimated requirements of the father and mother usually lead to the fact that the child begins to evaluate himself according to adult criteria. This leads to loss of self-satisfaction and self-disappointment.

A significant role in this issue is played by the attitude of peers, who tend to make outcasts out of losers. This contributes to the loss of self-confidence and negatively affects self-esteem.

Lack of goals in life

In the absence of clear and realistic goals, both a child and an adult can become a person with a negative attitude towards themselves. If a person ceases to set tasks for himself, his life is deprived of color. These people usually do not want to pay attention to their appearance, do not want to change something, stop dreaming and, as a result, the level of self-esteem decreases.

Unhealthy social environment

The social circle plays a significant role in the formation of self-esteem, both in adults and in children. A healthy attitude towards oneself is formed where there is a good example to follow. But in the presence of non-initiative friends who constantly complain about life, criticize others and do not want to change anything in their life, self-esteem will only worsen.

In such cases, it is necessary to radically change the social circle and get closer to people who strive for success, try to make their dreams come true, are able to overcome difficulties and constantly improve themselves.

Defects in appearance and health

In the case of defects in appearance and certain health problems, many children develop poor self-esteem. Such a child usually feels different from those around him. The situation is often aggravated by the relentless ridicule and bullying of peers.

In such cases, addressing these deficiencies will help improve self-esteem. If this is not possible, you need to develop qualities in yourself that will help you become self-confident, more developed and attractive to those around you.

Methods for increasing self-esteem and self-confidence

The following are methods to help every woman become more confident and increase her self-esteem. This work may take only a few months - this is the statement of psychologists. The main thing is to have a desire and striving for results.

Yes, a woman needs confidence that she deserves the best - self-esteem, love and respect of others, personal growth, success in life. It is important to develop that confidence in yourself, and there are proven methods for this. Take action!

Stop criticizing yourself

There are no perfect people, and you are no exception. But you can't constantly criticize yourself for your shortcomings. Self-criticism is a useful quality, but within reasonable limits.

To overcome a negative attitude towards oneself, psychologists advise making a detailed list of your merits and periodically re-reading it. Stop criticizing yourself, learn to praise. A confident person is distinguished not by the absence of shortcomings, but by the ability to not pay attention to them.

Learn to accept praise

Accepting praise is a must for a confident woman. Excessive modesty is just as harmful as lack of it. A compliment received with dignity and gratitude is pleasant to both parties.

Stop making excuses

There will definitely be someone who doesn't like something in your life. There are two possible scenarios for the development of events. If you're wrong - for example, your boss is unhappy with a poor-quality project - don't look for excuses. Admit and correct the mistake. The ability to admit one’s wrong is a sign of a strong person who is able to take responsibility for his actions.

But you don't have to try to please everyone around you. For example, if someone doesn't like your way of dressing, you don't have to make excuses. This is your life, and only you can decide whose opinion matters to you.

Learn to ask for help

The ability to ask for help is not a sign of weakness, but of strength. A weak person does not ask for help out of fear of rejection, fear of being in debt, false shame, and other fears. A self-confident woman is not afraid to ask, calmly endures the refusal and thanks for the help with a sincere smile.

Start small - ask to hold the door, bring a heavy bag, explain some nuance. Even if you hear “no,” this is not a disaster, but a new experience that will make you stronger. Feel free to ask for help. And help yourself.

Bring your business to the end

You cannot succeed if you give up after the first difficulties. Unfinished business and unfulfilled plans significantly reduce self-esteem. Successful overcoming of difficulties is a great way to increase it.

A few rules to help you with this:

• consider motivation. Morning exercises - a slim figure, a completed project - an award received, etc.;
• don't try to do everything at once. For example, learn a new language for 20 minutes, but every day. The main thing is to start acting;
• find like-minded people. Or an example to follow;
• do not forget to praise yourself - even for small successes.

Learn to love your body

In modern society, appearance plays a significant role. But you don't have to have a perfect body to be successful in life. There are plenty of examples of successful charismatic people on the Internet, whose appearance is far from perfect.

Accept and love yourself - you are unique. A state of harmony will give you confidence - and this will certainly affect the attitude of others.

Lead a healthy lifestyle, play sports

A healthy lifestyle and regular exercise are essential for a woman deciding how to become confident and boost her self-esteem. It has been scientifically proven that physical activity stimulates the production of dopamine - the "hormone of joy". A healthy lifestyle and sports improve the quality of life, strengthen health, improve appearance, have a positive effect on the state of the nervous system.

Monitor your appearance

A self-confident woman is distinguished by grooming. She loves herself and takes care of herself. Going to a beauty salon is a great remedy for depression. Get an elegant haircut, update your wardrobe. Consider this an investment in your successful future.

Communicate with optimists and successful people

If in your environment there are people living by inertia, then they will ridicule all your ambitions. Limit such contacts to a minimum.

Look for successful, active and enthusiastic people, like-minded people. Where? In the gym, at exhibitions, seminars, trainings, online. Purposeful, confident, strong people will serve as an excellent motivation for personal growth.

Learn to leave the "comfort zone"

The Comfort Zone is not so much a comfortable place as a familiar one. For example, the usual nightly watching TV shows on your home couch. In the "comfort zone" it is stuffy and cramped, but familiar and safe.

Break the comfort stereotype. Start small - return home in an unusual way. Instead of lying on the couch, go to the pool, go to the theater, sign up for courses. New sensations, knowledge, acquaintances - a powerful stimulus for the formation of self-confidence.

Read positive literature

When you decide to make your life more positive, protect it from negative impressions whenever possible. Do not read news full of negativity. And serious, but too realistic literature should be avoided.

Nowadays it is quite possible to indulge yourself with "fairy tales for adults" - novels with a good ending, humorous detective stories, etc. It will be very helpful to read specialized literature on self-esteem education.

Find your dream job

Changing jobs is a very serious step, which can be decided only after preparation. First, give yourself a break - let's say a week off. And only by dropping the accumulated negative, you can make a decision. Maybe you like your job, but not a very close-knit team? Or did you have a problem with your superiors? Then submit your resume and look for the same vacancy, but in different conditions.

What if you realize that you are doing the wrong thing? Again, take your time. Decide what you like and take action. Attend courses, study literature, meet experts. And life will definitely give you a chance.

Live desires

Do you want to hang glider? Look for information, specialists - and it is quite possible to spend your next vacation in the sky.

Do not envy other people's successes

You should not compare your life with someone else's. The glossy life that is so easy to follow on social media can be a pretty package that hides a bunch of problems. Others' success should not scare or cause envy, but inspire and teach. Don't compare yourself to someone else, compare yourself - yesterday and today.

Discard laziness

Water does not flow under a lying stone - this saying is still relevant today. A confident woman will not let laziness ruin her life. If you want to achieve something - act. There are many ways to deal with laziness: breaking things down into their component parts, accompanying work with music, coming up with rewards, etc. Choose your way and implement it.

To understand how to become a confident woman and increase self-esteem, it is worth using the help of professional psychologists. Special techniques, trainings, exercises have been developed to solve these problems.

Use your positive qualities

List and analyze your positive qualities. Realize how much potential you have. Consider how you can use these qualities in your daily life. Work on developing them.

Listen to affirmations

Affirmations are a short statement of your wishes as a fact. This is an effective form of self-hypnosis, programming of the subconscious, carried out by concentrated repetition of verbal phrases.

Affirmations should be formulated very carefully, laying in them the quintessence of your desires, so that their repetition forms the desired setting.

They can be repeated or listened to in the recording. Examples of wordings: “I am confident in myself”, “I love and be loved”, “I am talented and successful”.

Diary of successes and achievements

A diary is an effective tool. Every day you need to record all your achievements, regardless of their scale. Keeping such records and then analyzing them is a good incentive for a woman to become confident and increase her self-esteem.

Practical exercises

Meditation

You should meditate in a calm environment, without external stimuli. Get into a comfortable position, take a few deep breaths in and out to focus. Now, with each exhalation, get rid of negative impressions.

Visualize negative and imagine how it dissolves, giving way to calmness and optimism. In a positive mood, imagine yourself as you would like to see. Take your time, carefully draw the image.

Movements, intonation, facial expressions, posture - work out every detail. Try to convey love and support to the created image.

This exercise takes 10-15 minutes. You can do it in the morning or evening, without haste. Regularly conducted meditation will gradually consolidate this ideal in consciousness, transferring its features to a real image.

Auto-training

Self-training can be effectively used to calm down in a stressful situation, tune in to a difficult task, and gain self-confidence. To do this, the appropriate affirmations are spoken out loud or silently.

For maximum effectiveness, auto-training is best carried out in a calm atmosphere, completely relaxing, saying affirmations aloud for 10-15 minutes. But this technique can also help in working conditions: even in crowded places, you can calm down simply by closing your eyes and repeating affirmations to yourself several times.

Psychological trainings

They are aimed at adaptation to society, or rather, at the development of immunity to public opinion. Of course, the opinion of others must be reckoned with, but it should not completely subjugate your personality.

This requires inner strength, self-confidence, self-confidence. Here are three simple trainings:

1. Learn not to be afraid of the public and even manage it. And for this, do not hesitate to speak in front of a large audience. Use all the possibilities: a song with a guitar around the fire, an anecdote in a company, a report at work, a presentation of goods to customers. Gradually, you will get rid of complexes, you will feel confident, and you will learn to own an audience - an excellent quality for career growth.
2. "Double". Imagination is needed here. If you do not feel comfortable in public, and you cannot overcome this complex, imagine yourself in the role of your beloved "star" for whom communication is an everyday reality. Behave with the same laid-back freedom. Let not immediately, but it will work out. And over time, a double will not be needed.
3. Confidence in spite of everything. This training requires props. Add a ridiculous detail to your look (old-fashioned glasses, curlers, a defiant jacket) and go outside. Go shopping, socialize, walk with an absolutely unperturbed look. It's a powerful remedy, so start with the small details.

10 books that will tell you how to raise self-esteem

Books can tell you how to become a confident woman and increase your self-esteem.

1. Louise Hay "Heal Your Life";
2. Larisa Parfentieva “100 Ways to Change Your Life”;
3. Brian Tracy "Self-Assessment";
4. Dale Carnegie's “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”;
5. Dale Carnegie, How to Build Confidence and Influence People by Speaking in Public;
6. Vladimir Levy "The Art of Being Oneself";
7. Sergey Mamontov “Believe in yourself. Self-confidence training ";
8. Helen Andelin "The Charm of Femininity";
9. Rafael Santandreu “How not to turn your life into a nightmare”;
10. Sharon Vegshida-Cruz “How much are you worth? How to learn to love and respect yourself. "

Movies for motivation and self-confidence

Cinema has repeatedly addressed the topic of a strong woman.

1. The Devil Wears Prada, USA 2006;
2. Eat Pray Love, USA 2010;
3. Another Boleyn Girl, UK 2008;
4. "The Barber of Siberia", Russia, Italy 1998;
5. "Moscow Does Not Believe in Tears", USSR 1979.

How to become confident in communication with a man?

A confident woman attracts men. She knows how to communicate without being afraid to express her point of view, which makes her an interesting companion. Like all strong people, she knows how to give in, not considering it a sign of weakness. She knows how to emphasize her merits, and leaves her shortcomings in the shadows. She knows how, if necessary, to insist on her own, but at the same time she will be able not to offend her partner.

A confident woman always knows her own worth. She will not tolerate the unacceptable behavior of a man, and will be able to say about it delicately but firmly. She will not grumble about anything, but will clearly articulate her displeasure, while remaining polite. Even in a difficult situation, she will be able to remain calm.

Perhaps not everything is working out as planned. Do not despair, develop self-confidence, and everything will definitely work out!

How to Build Confidence After a Breakup or Divorce?

This is a difficult period even for strong women. To survive it with the least loss will help:

• close people. It is desirable that during this period they were close, able to listen and support;
• hobby. It will help you distract yourself;
• new impressions. Take a walk, go to exhibitions, to the cinema - new impressions will gradually replace the bitterness of the past;
• travels. It's great if there is such an opportunity. The sharper the scenery change, the better.

Parting with a man is not a reason for disappointment in yourself. Your life goes on.

How to become a confident mom?

The appearance of a child changes life dramatically and forever. What can you advise:

• do not lose your calmness and confidence, despite the lack of experience. You will very quickly learn to care for your baby, your experience will grow with your baby, and soon you will be able to give advice yourself;
• accept with gratitude the advice and help of the older generation, but the decisive word in the upbringing process remains with you;
• don't forget about yourself. Involve your husband and other close people and find time for yourself - go to the hairdresser, take a bath, sleep;
• value communication with your child. Enjoy his smiles, first teeth and steps, and discover this wonderful world with him.

The life of a modern woman is diverse and rich. To become self-confident and achieve success, it is enough to believe in yourself, in your strength, and start acting.

The successes achieved will increase your self-esteem, build self-confidence - and inspire new achievements. After all, you really deserve it!

Video on how to change your life for the better, become more confident and more successful

Psychologists' advice: How to become more self-confident:

How to love yourself and increase your self-esteem:

How to become more attractive:

Pills for happiness, alas, do not exist. In order to get it, you need to work. Only a wise and confident person receives happiness as a reward. If you have low self-esteem, it will be difficult for you to earn recognition from other people, to be successful at work, and to find your soul mate. When a person values \u200b\u200bhimself, he is able to move mountains! This article focuses on human self-worth and happiness.

What is self-esteem?

Self-esteem is primarily your real perception of your place in the world and of what is happening to you. Many people are wondering how to increase it. You will not find an unequivocal answer to this question anywhere. It is important to understand yourself, to give an adequate assessment of your own actions, successes and abilities. If you don't believe in yourself, you will never achieve anything. Low self-esteem is always opposed to happiness.

It should be said that each person sooner or later has to evaluate other people. For example, their behavior, mannerisms or appearance. The criteria for the ideal were laid down in our creation at a very early age. The result allows us to understand how we relate to a particular person or object in reality. After the creation has formed an impression, it complements the finished image with new details. This is why it is said that the first acquaintance is the most important. Many factors shape our personal self-esteem. People's opinion is the main one. In the same way that we evaluate us, we are evaluated.

How to improve self-esteem and why do it?

Have you ever wondered why some people are more lucky than others? Everything that happens to you is in your head. Success comes only to those who really really want it. Our beliefs and thoughts are the foundation on which all life is built. If you don't understand this, you cannot become more successful and happier.

There are people who, on a subconscious level, do not allow themselves to come to success in their life. Beliefs and thoughts create a kind of block. They also often think that they are entitled to much more than they already have. They list why they are worthy, and then begin to accuse themselves of imperfection. Different thoughts begin to come to their minds, they say, they need to work harder, be in the right place at the right time, etc. It is these judgments that form low self-esteem. You need to live here and now, rejoicing in every moment lived. Drive away negative thoughts, otherwise they will eat you.

Let's take small children as an example. They never think badly of themselves. This understanding is inherent in nature. Over the years, a person becomes overgrown with complexes, self-doubt and low self-esteem. This prevents you from getting what you want. One has only to set a clear goal for yourself and believe in yourself, how life will work out by itself. You will have good coincidences, pleasant events and happy meetings. Self-love is the key to happiness.

Thoughts and deeds

How to improve self-esteem and self-confidence? The answer is simple. You just need to enjoy life for no reason. When you wake up in the morning, smile at yourself in the mirror. When we gain confidence, we become brighter, more beautiful, more attractive and more interesting to the people around us. Do not communicate with those who envy you or wish you harm. It will not bring you the happiness you are striving for. Move aside fears and fears. Just go for it! Don't assume people or circumstances are to blame for failure. All this is not true - we create life with our own hands and choose our friends ourselves.

Self-esteem in children

Many people ask about how to increase a child's self-esteem. You should always praise him. Although at birth the baby does not have complexes, they may appear over time. In adolescence, the worst qualities begin to manifest. Let's see why this is happening?

The fact is that a person forms an opinion about himself in accordance with what he hears and sees in his environment and in the family. We live in a world of standards. Many parents call their children “head with holes”, “muddlehead”, “clumsy”, considering these nicknames to be quite harmless. Over time, they form low self-esteem in the child. He is less likely to show initiative, becomes insecure and tries to avoid serious tasks. Children who are constantly scolded by their parents rarely succeed. Remember that the recognition of the people around you and personal success depend on self-confidence. It is very important to learn in time how to increase the child's self-esteem. It is necessary to trust him with difficult tasks, and after their completion, praise and reward. There are different children. For some, public approval is very important.

Since self-esteem is formed in childhood, it is parents who lay the foundations for it. If you constantly scold your child, it will grow up unhappy due to a lack of parental love. At school, teachers constantly insist that thinking about yourself is bad, selfish. What a child hears from others is taken literally by him. Peers are also often violent. They ridicule personal qualities and blame them for shortcomings. As a result, the child's bar falls so much that in adolescence he cannot fully realize himself. Moreover, he feels unhappy and lost. In this case, parents need to think hard about how to increase the self-esteem of a teenager. His merits should be constantly noted and encouraged. It is also important to praise your child simply for being there.

But you should not rely on the fact that low self-esteem occurs solely through the fault of parents or people around you. Failure, depression, stress can suppress confidence even in a successful adult. Not everyone is able to adequately assess their actions, achievements, character traits and skills. Agree that parting with a loved one, dismissal, financial crisis, death of a loved one can become the reasons for low self-esteem. The result is that the insecure person considers himself unworthy of all good things. It doesn't matter to him whether others think so. In his eyes, he looks like a failure, even if others consider him successful.

Human self-esteem is of three types:

• Adequate. Everyone should strive for it. A person with such self-esteem sees only positive qualities in himself and in other people, not noticing shortcomings and weaknesses.
• Overpriced. People see in themselves extremely strong sides of character, completely cutting off shortcomings. Such conceit leads to the fact that others seem to them worse. Arrogance is a natural problem in relations with others.
• Understated. A person considers himself to be worse than others. He thinks that he is not worthy of privileges and bonuses at work, does not deserve the good attitude of his colleagues, relatives, friends, family. This condition is often accompanied by feelings of guilt. That is why the most common advice from a psychologist on how to increase self-esteem is to love and accept yourself with all your shortcomings. Trust me, it works.

This is not easy to do. That is why we will outline certain methods that will help a person understand himself and adequately assess his actions.

1. Take a blank sheet of paper and a pen. Write on it your achievements, starting from childhood. Here you can write that you did exercise, met a nice person, fell in love, or found a good job. Write everything that you consider your personal victories. It is important not only to make a list, but also to regularly replenish it. This will give you an additional incentive to perform small feats every day. This way you will be able to notice your merits. Thanks to this method, you will no longer wonder how to increase your self-esteem. Personality psychology says that this system really works. If you don't believe it, try it and see for yourself.
2. It is very important to motivate yourself. As we said earlier, the main causes of low self-esteem are setbacks, stressful situations, depression, and inattention. In general, a negative perception of yourself or events happening to you. Allow yourself to relax and let go of the situation. Light meditation will allow you to forget about all the problems that bother you for at least five minutes. Take up yoga. It will help you look inside yourself and remove blocks.
3. Find a hobby or hobby for yourself where you can achieve success. Do some strength training in the gym or painting. The main thing is that this activity should bring you inner satisfaction.
4. The last piece of advice on how to improve a person's self-esteem is as follows: you should make a list of all positive qualities (at least 20) and hang it on the refrigerator. Every time you feel sad, you will look at a list of your successes. This will help to love yourself, at least a third.

Yet the main answer to the question of how to increase self-esteem is that in no case should you compare yourself with other people. Don't look at a neighbor who married an oligarch or a classmate who got a high position in the largest clinic in the city. All this has nothing to do with you. Understand that these people have their own lives, with their own problems. It is possible that they are unhappy. And yet, you should constantly remind yourself that in this world there are a huge number of people who have achieved more than you, but no less than those who have nothing in comparison with you. All people are very different. Look around: perhaps someone is looking at you with enthusiastic eyes, wanting to live your life that you do not value.

How can a woman gain self-confidence?

Many women cannot arrange their personal life. Psychologists believe that this is the fault of self-doubt. There are also tips for them on how to build self-esteem and love themselves. To begin with, it should be said that women are more emotional than males. That is why they tend to have complexes because of their shortcomings. In addition, women are more suggestible and trusting. They are prone to resentment and depression. It should be noted that there are many ways to raise your self-esteem, applicable exclusively to the female sex. Nothing cheers you up like a trip to your favorite store, a beautiful hairdo or a new dress. For a representative of the fair sex, it is enough to understand that she is beautiful, and then the whole world will fall at her feet. Life will acquire colors, and love will blossom.

Ladies, remember: to be liked by men, you must love yourself. It takes a little for this. Go to a beauty salon and party. Break away to the fullest, throw out all your emotions. Sign up for a dance group, fitness or yoga class. There you will be able to look at yourself and your body in a new way, notice in yourself what you have not noticed before. Sports can help relieve stress, and exercise can improve your mood. Do not forget that you will also acquire a beautiful figure if you regularly attend classes, which is important.

Sometimes men wonder how to increase a woman's self-esteem. They can only be advised one thing: to compliment their beloved more often. It is very important. A woman should feel welcome and loved. Only then will she be able to feel truly happy. If a man wants his beloved to feel comfortable, he should from time to time make nice gifts, for example, a membership to a fitness club, spa treatments or massage. Now men know how to increase a girl's self-esteem. Once you start paying attention to your loved one, she will change. And as a token of gratitude, he will do whatever you wish.

How to Build Self-Confidence After a Breakup or Divorce?

For a woman, divorce from a man or separation from a loved one never goes unnoticed. Family life is very important for both parties, it cannot be simply taken and crossed out. Scars remain in the soul that heal for a long time. Women are more susceptible to divorce. From an early age, girls were given the idea that they were the keepers of the hearth. That is why a broken marriage is perceived by a woman as her own fault. If the reason for the divorce is the husband's infidelity, self-esteem falls below the plinth. The thoughts that the opponent turned out to be better settle in my head. This is actually not true. It's just that men are always looking for variety. There are those who need to constantly taste the risk. They don't take the relationship seriously, but only seek passion. Why do you need a man who doesn't respect you?

Self-love is the key to happiness and success

In order to get the treasured key, you need to follow a very simple technique on how to increase self-esteem after a breakup. Her main goal is introspection. Sit down and think about what worries you the most. Ask yourself concrete questionsto which you have long dreamed of getting answers. Then turn off your thoughts and try to hear your inner voice. Psychologists say that the answers to the questions lie in ourselves. If the first time does not work, do not despair, try again. Your main task is to turn off thoughts.

In order to forget a person, it is enough to forgive. It's easier than you think. Lie on the floor with your legs extended and close your eyes. Review the situation in your head that is unpleasant to you. Try to change it and mentally express what you have boiled over. Then, pretend you are telling the person about your forgiveness. Always tell yourself that marriage is not only a fragment of life, it is a source of experience. Thank the Universe for giving you the chance to experience what you have experienced in life and to overcome all difficulties. Once you put things in order in your head, you no longer have to watch movies and read books on how to increase self-esteem and self-confidence. You will just know that every question has its own answer, which is in your soul.

Success diary

In order to become happy, you need to constantly record your achievements on paper. Write down the compliments you received, the nice meeting with your friends, and how great you look today. You can write whatever you want there. Celebrate the nice little things. Time will pass, and you will re-read what you have written with a smile and pride.

Wish card

A wish card will help answer the question of how to increase a woman's self-esteem. Take a Whatman paper and paste your photo in the middle. Cut beautiful pictures from different magazines and glue them next to your portrait. They should symbolize success, happiness, health, wealth and beauty. Hang the poster directly on the wall. When you wake up in the morning, you will look at him and smile. A wish card is a model of your ideal life. After a while, dreams will begin to come true.

How can a man become more confident?

Men also suffer from low self-esteem, however, unlike women, they do not always show this. They are not characterized by weakness and the manifestation of emotions. In order to answer the question of how to increase a man's self-esteem, you must first delve into the essence of the problem. Think about when there was a turning point in your life and what contributed to it. Assess your strengths and weak sides... Try to look at yourself from the outside. Once you understand exactly what you did wrong, you can move on. Don't scold yourself too much. Just try to assess the situation soberly. Now let's move on to specific tips and tricks on how to increase a guy's self-esteem.

What does a man need to become self-confident?

1. Intelligence. Develop. Read more books, be interested in what is happening in the world. Chat with smart people. A smart man always stands out from the crowd.
2. Sport. Join the gym, go swimming, basketball or soccer. The main thing is to practice regularly. As a result, you will not only get rid of depression, but also get a beautiful body. Just imagine how you will catch admiring female looks on yourself!
3. Hobbies. Find a hobby where you can maximize your potential. Start doing something with your own hands, such as assembling ship models or making furniture. If you creative person, painting is just what you need. Don't be afraid to experiment with yourself and try new things. You may ask: "How can you improve a man's self-esteem through a hobby?" Very simple. Self-respect depends on the results of one's labor. The main thing is to do what you really like.

By observing all these points, you can easily not only raise your self-esteem, but also grow in the eyes of the people around you. The main thing is not to postpone everything until tomorrow. We live here and now - remember this.

Many men feel untenable because they did not feel the shoulder of their father in childhood. Quite often women ask psychologists the same question: "How to increase the husband's self-esteem?" It is necessary to find him a mentor who will serve as an example. For some it is a true friend, for others it is a father. If your lover does not have anyone who could give advice in difficult times, try to find such a person. Even a trainer in the gym can act as a mentor.

We ourselves form our self-esteem. The main thing is to love yourself and set a goal. You will succeed!