Optimists, pessimists and realists: a medal with two sides and a rib. Realist or pessimist: which one are you? How an optimist differs from a realist
Optimism (from Latin. Optimus - "the best") - a tendency to see the good sides in everything in life, to believe in success and in a successful outcome of something.
Pessimism is a gloomy, bleak outlook on life, a tendency to see everything in a dark light; dull mood.
In essence, optimism and pessimism are two sides of the same coin: the front, light and joyful, and the back - gloomy and gray.
However, there is another important term in the explanatory dictionary - realism. It denotes the ability to clearly understand and realistically assess the surrounding reality in the implementation of something.
The optimist and the pessimist are two extremes, between which the realist's point of birth lies.
Realism comes when the expectation of good and bad in a person comes to a certain state of equilibrium.
What's the best view of the world?
There is an opinion that the best way to perceive the world is optimistic.
After all, who is an optimist? This is the one who never becomes discouraged, sees only the good sides in everything, does not think about the worst, in any trouble he is able to find positive moments.
It is difficult not to overestimate the importance of optimists in our life: employers love them for their ability to forgive hassles, and for the fact that they are calm about overtime work and never escalate the situation. Colleagues - for kindness and mutual assistance. Neighbors - for a calm atmosphere in the house. Our psyche does not tolerate discomfort, is trying with all its might to avoid it, therefore an optimist is a person, communication with whom causes positive feelings. While the pessimist is the type of personality that everyone runs from like fire: a quarrelsome, bilious, eternally dissatisfied subject, who can spoil the mood of anyone with complaints.
If you give a characterization to a person, then the word "optimist" immediately tells the interlocutor a lot thanks to a positive outlook on life.
Why excessive optimism is dangerous
Few people think that an overly rosy view of the world can be even more dangerous and unpleasant for the optimist himself than the gloomy perception of reality by a chronic pessimist.
Often, optimism goes hand in hand with kindness and unwillingness to create conflict situations, argue, defend one's point of view. This means that such a person, being offended or through someone else's fault, finding himself in an unpleasant situation, instead of demanding compensation from the one who is to blame, will forgive everything. And, if in everyday life this will only harm the optimist himself and his family ("Have the neighbors flooded? Why fight with them, we will restore everything at our own expense"), then at work it can result in serious troubles for the entire organization.
An optimist, unlike a pessimist, can underestimate the situation, hoping for a good outcome, and if something unpleasant happens, he will be confused.
The pessimist is ready for trouble, and therefore has a plan for the worst scenario, but the optimist finds himself face to face with misfortune, the possibility of which he did not even think about - it simply did not occur to him that everything could be so bad!
There are positive aspects to pessimism
Who is a pessimist according to the majority? A loser who has no friends because of his bad character and eternal discontent.
This is true only for the most stubborn, most "ideological" pessimists, whose textbook representation can be considered a mechanic named Filidor Zeleny from Kir Bulychev's stories about Alisa Selezneva. His immortal phrases: "It will not end well!" and "But I warned you!" can be called a reflection of the most negative side of the pessimistic view.
However, there are also conditionally "moderate" pessimists, which means that there are people who see in black not the whole world, but only its individual parts.
The definition of the term itself suggests that a pessimist is one who constantly expects meanness and trips from the world. And this is his strength.
A true pessimist always remembers: no matter how much you hope for a successful outcome of events, the probability of an unsuccessful result is much higher, and in order to minimize the damage, you should, hoping for the best, always prepare for the worst.
Therefore, a pessimist who strives for self-improvement does not have to try to change his outlook on life - sometimes it is enough to develop his strengths (anticipating troubles and preparing for them) and learn how to cope with negative ones.
The third side of the coin is the perfect rib
Realism has many meanings: for some it means a dry businessman who methodically calculates how to profitably assess a given situation, while others believe that an interesting extreme is better than a boring flat middle.
In fact, being realistic means realizing that any situation can turn in both good and bad directions; that life is multifaceted and does not provide ready-made answers; one cannot constantly expect troubles, but one should not hope only for joy, so as not to be deceived.
A realist looks at the situation evenly and reasonably, makes decisions based on the actual state of affairs. He does not console himself that “tomorrow will be better,” but he also does not spoil his mood with thoughts of troubles that may follow good luck.
Realism allows you to soberly evaluate others, your actions, not to go too far when making decisions, makes it possible to show flexibility depending on the situation: a realist, not being tied to one extreme or another, has the ability to choose the type of his own reaction.
Where there is almost no water in the glass for a pessimist, and mentally he is dying of thirst, afraid to take a sip; but for the optimist there is still a lot of water, and he will die after drinking the water in one gulp; the realist will clearly calculate how quickly he can afford to empty the glass so as not to be left out in the cold.
Optimist and pessimist - where is the guarantee of happiness?
The meaning of the word "optimist" in no way refers to the word "optimal", and this should be clearly understood: yes, people with a benevolent view of the world are pleasant, they are loved, but this does not mean that they always do everything right or are more happy than rest.
Happiness is such a weightless concept that no very positive outlook on life will give guarantees of getting this very thing at your personal disposal in payment for a smile, good nature and the ability to regard troubles as something positive.
At the same time, the constant expectation of failures, an iron readiness for them and a plan for the worst cases of life in the same way do not guarantee that straw placed on all sides will save you from harm.
Both optimists and pessimists - all these people are capable of making mistakes, not foreseeing something, not predicting, underestimating. Even realism does not guarantee a happy life, however, self-improvement gives a better chance that such changes will not go unnoticed, and this inspires hope for the best.
After all, a person who has smoothed out the sharp corners of his character and developed his strengths always has more friends, he breathes with harmony, he evokes a positive response in the souls of those around him, pleases himself and others. Who knows, maybe this is the essence of happiness?
Created 07 Jul 2017
Test result
Optimist
An optimist is a person who, even between two troubles, always makes a wish.
You are the person who charges others with your positive energy. Very often people enter your circle of friends just to bask in the rays of your positive. You perceive any problems as temporary difficulties and always sincerely believe that everything will work out and will be even better! You are intolerant of people around you who like to exaggerate. You think that life must be lived only in a positive mood or not at all!
People around you love you, and many are sincerely jealous of your light character.
Test result
Pessimist
"A pessimist sees difficulties at every opportunity, an optimist sees opportunities in every difficulty" W. Churchill.
A pessimist is the person who makes two minuses out of plus. Pessimistic people are always inclined to a bad outcome of the case, even when nothing portends trouble.
Most often, a pessimist leads a secluded life, he has very few or no friends. At the same time, such an outcome of the case does not bother him at all, because the pessimist knows that in this world you cannot trust anyone.
Communication with a pessimistic person makes people feel indignant and wants to say goodbye to this person as soon as possible. Despondency, melancholy, detachment, belief in the worst are the faithful companions of the pessimist.
In order not to completely slide into the abyss of his own experiences and eternal disappointments, a pessimist should certainly surround himself with optimists or, at worst, realists. Both those and others will balance his picture of the world, not two will completely paint over the whole world with dark colors.
If you feel that a debilitating blues and an eternal bad mood have become your eternal companions, immediately seek help from a specialist.
Test result
Realist
The pessimist complains about the wind. The optimist hopes for a change in the weather. The realist sets the sails.
Prudence, excellent self-control, the ability to always control the situation are your indispensable companions. In any confusing, strange and often incomprehensible situation, you are able to find the only correct solution. Looking at the world through rose-colored glasses or, on the contrary, exaggerating colors is definitely not in your habit. Your realism has always helped you out, even when you find yourself in the most delicate situations.
You hate it when people begin to explain the obvious, guided by theories of magic and esotericism.If you make any mistake or oversight, then carefully analyze the situation and try to do everything so that this does not happen in the future.
It is possible that sometimes you wish you were more reckless and frivolous. But in the end you realize that you simply could not live with it.
You never let people get close before you "put them to the test." Those who do not deserve your trust will never be near you. You are constantly in search of that ideal state in which you would like to be in this life. You don't like careless, careless, lazy, reckless people.
Your exceptional intellectual abilities and attitude to reality leave no doubt that in life you are likely to achieve success in your chosen profession.
Has anyone ever called you a pessimist? If yes, but you disagree with this opinion, and you want to know if this is true or not, this article is for you. The realist is often confused with the pessimist. But the truth is, they are two completely different personalities. And, therefore, ... how does a realist differ from a pessimist?
First of all, it is important to understand that the tendency to see negative qualities in various things is normal. There is an evolutionary and adaptive reason behind this. This is to protect against things that could potentially harm us.
In other words, our psychological defense system is more focused on things that go wrong and they might hurt us. For her, this is much more important than anything that is going well, and currently benefits us. However, when someone sees only the negative features of what is happening, this is a pessimist. If so, this adaptive negativity detection function becomes a problem and spoils the mood.
In fact, there is an intermediate state between pessimism and optimism. Optimists tend to see the world through rose-colored glasses. And the state between pessimism and realism is called realism. To explain the characteristics of a realist from a pessimist and to help you determine which one you are, we will look at some important concepts below.
The pessimist: what makes him different?
When a person is a pessimist, they have a cognitive attitude that psychologist Aaron Beck called selective abstraction. In other words, thanks to this opinion, pessimists pay attention only to information in negative color and accept only it.
This is why pessimists pay attention to negative information and remember it. Many times, without even noticing it, they filter information and only see negative things.
If you consider yourself a pessimist and think you are falling into this cognitive fallacy, don't worry! There is a solution for this. There are scientifically proven psychological techniques such as cognitive restructuring and cognitive fusion. They are intended to help the pessimist distance himself from certain thoughts. They can also help him change automatic psychological processes and negative thinking patterns.
“The pessimist complains about the wind. The optimist hopes for a change in the weather. The realist sets sails. "
-William George Ward-
Am I a pessimist?
If you want to know who you are, remember that pessimists see difficulties and expect worse results. Even if it is very unlikely.
In the sense that being pessimistic is - in part - due to having an anxiety-based personality type. These are people who stay at one end of the worry line and therefore see life from a negative perspective. When a person is a pessimist, he unconsciously tends to limit himself, thinks about the worst and is more prone to uncertainty. He focuses on uncertainty, expecting to be prepared for the worst.
Basically, if you are a pessimist, you automatically see negative aspects even in positive events or situations in your life. In other words, pessimists focus on the things that went wrong, even though they were successful. As a pessimist, you find it difficult to enjoy your accomplishments because you focus on what could be better.
“True realism is to show the amazing things that habit prevents us from seeing” -Jean Cocteau-
So ... who is a realist?
First of all, the realist is characterized by the fact that he is in no hurry to judge. He waits to see how things are before giving his opinion. He waits to see what happens, and when he has gathered all the facts, he gives an assessment. Only then does he decide whether something is good or bad.
Therefore, the realist remains relatively neutral until the impact of this situation is clarified. He is able to adapt his expectations to reality.
In the same way, the realist is not only mentally preparing for everything that can go wrong (remember the objective facts). He is also preparing for the fact that he can succeed. In other words, this is a person who is ready for any outcome of events, both negative and positive. He knows how to use his achievements and is prepared for possible failure. But failures do not prevent him from taking another step to get closer to the chosen goal.
You probably already understand that the realist does not use catastrophic thinking. Correctly assesses the positive and negative sides of the situation or problem. This is the foundation of realism.
If, after reading the above explanations, you find that you are a pessimist, we would like to remind you that a psychologist can help change these aspects of your personality. This will help you destroy the catastrophic and selective filtering of the information you use every day. Do something nice for yourself and make an appointment with a counselor.
Test. Optimist or Pessimist?
In many dictionaries, optimism is defined as a perception of the surrounding world, imbued with cheerfulness and faith in the future, and pessimism is a perception imbued with despondency and disbelief in a better future.
In the opinion of pessimists, failures will last for a long time, relate to most areas of their life, and they themselves are to blame for them. In a difficult situation, pessimists fall into a depressive state.
Optimists, on the other hand, cannot be broken by failure. After all, they are temporary, concern only a small part of their life, and the optimists themselves are innocent of these problems. They are more likely to be successful at work, in sports and studies, and in their personal lives.
Two people - two different views, two different approaches to life. There are people who are always missing something, there is always something to complain about. There are others: they know how to rejoice, to find a bright moment in any situation. And the point here is not what a person has, but how he evaluates what he has.
Professor of psychology at the University of Heidelberg, Klaus Feeder, as a result of many years of research, came to the conclusion: people in a gloomy mood think conservatively, but for fear of making a mistake they work carefully. On the contrary, a cheerful mood stimulates discovery, creativity, but also a willingness to take risks, fraught with failure. Therefore, perhaps the most correct solution is to be able to find a middle ground: do not exaggerate troubles and do not indulge in illusions.
How do you look at the world around you? Answer the test questions "Yes" or "Not".
1. Do you like to travel?
2. Would you like to learn something else besides what you already know how?
3. Do you often take sleeping pills, sedatives?
4. Do you like visiting and receiving guests?
5. Do you often manage to foresee impending troubles?
6. Don't you think that your friends have achieved more in life than you?
7. Is there a place in your life for some kind of sports activities?
8. Do you think that fate is unfair to you?
9. Are you worried about a possible global ecological disaster?
10. Do you agree that scientific progress creates more problems than it solves?
11. Have you chosen your profession successfully?
12. Have you insured your property?
13. Would you agree to move to another city if you were offered an interesting job there?
14. Are you satisfied with your appearance?
15. Do you often feel unwell?
16. Is it easy for you to get comfortable in an unfamiliar environment, find your place in a new team?
17. Do people around you consider you energetic, active person?
18. Do you believe in selfless friendship?
19. Are there any personal good omens for you - lucky numbers, lucky days of the week, etc.?
20. Do you believe that everyone is the smith of their own happiness?
Let's summarize.
Put 1 point for answer "Yes"to questions 1, 2, 4, 7, 11 and 13-20 and 0 points for answer "Not"on the same questions.
Put 1 point for answer "Not"to questions 3, 5, 6, 8, 9, 10, 12
and
0 points for answer "Yes" on the same questions.
Count the points. If you typed:
0-4 points
It seems that life has battered you pretty much, and you no longer expect anything good from it. You consider adversity inevitable, joy as accidental. Self-pity and distrust of people prevent you from enjoying life. To cheer up and at least a little perk up, learn to appreciate the little joys that fall out for each of us. Remember: life is never so bad that it cannot be changed by our attitude towards it.
5-9 points
By nature you are a cheerful person, but in the trials of life you have lost a fair amount of your optimism. Chagrin and unfulfilled hopes often darken your mood. Your actions are mainly dictated not by the desire for a goal, but by the desire to avoid failure. Because of this, little has been achieved. After all, when you expect trouble, it will happen. Try changing your angle of view. You have enough strength to turn things around for the better.
10-14 points
Congratulations, you are a realist, a sane person who knows the value of yourself and people. Know how to set realistic goals for yourself and achieve them. You can clearly see the shadow sides of life, but are not inclined to savor them. For your friends and loved ones, you are a reliable support, because you know how to both comfort in grief and cool excessive delight.
15-18 points
You are filled with love for life and optimism, you always know how to find bright sides in events and people, if it is worth doing. Sadness rarely comes to you, as it’s not a very constructive emotion in your opinion. However, such a position is fraught with some misunderstanding with others who do not share your optimism. You should consider the reasons for both their dissatisfaction and your confidence that everything will be fine. Is there a basis for these opinions and how important is it? How successful are you with this approach to life? Are your efforts adequate for the result you are getting?
19-20 points
Your optimism is overwhelming. It is as if troubles do not exist for you, and you simply brush them off, rushing towards new joys. But think about it: is your position too frivolous? It is possible that underestimating serious problems will one day cause you to face unexpected disappointments.
