There is no desire to do anything apathy. How to deal with laziness and fatigue? Apathy: what to do if you don't want anything

Often, many people are faced with indifference to any business. This is the norm until apathy comes to everything. This condition is considered pathological and requires treatment by a psychologist. In these cases, it is necessary to find out: why did apathy arise, what to do if you do not want anything, how to deal with the problem? Only a specialist can answer these questions. After all, apathy refers to psychological syndromes. If left untreated, complications may develop. The most common of these is depression. And she refers to serious diseases that require inpatient treatment.

What is apathy syndrome?

What if you don't want anything? In recent years, these questions have been asked not only by patients, but also by doctors. This problem is very common all over the world. The state of apathy can occur at any age. However, the syndrome is increasingly common among young adults, children and adolescents. Apathy is expressed in a lack of interest in activities, events and everything around. Previously it was believed that a similar condition occurs after those provoked by serious problems. Currently, this syndrome appears at first glance for no apparent reason. Nevertheless, it is necessary to fight apathy. Otherwise, it will lead to depression.

Alarming signs are:

1. Violation of the emotional background. It is expressed in an inadequate reaction or its absence to any event.
2. Decreased appetite.
3. Slowing down of thought processes, memory lapses.
4. Inhibition of physical reactions. Patients begin to perform more and more slowly.

Disease "apathy" - what to do if you don't want anything: reasons

Even though there are no obvious reasons for apathy, this syndrome occurs for a reason. Some factors always contribute to this. Therefore, before you complain that a loved one has apathy, laziness, you do not want to do anything, you need to talk to him. In most cases, the cause of this condition lies in unspoken experiences that constantly bother the patient. Among the psychological factors are:

1. Problems at work. Often, apathy occurs if a person is not interested in his activities, and he does it only because of necessity.
2. Love experiences. Often the cause of apathy is unrequited feelings or concern for loved ones.
3. A serious illness due to which a person suffers not only physically, but also psychologically.
4. This category includes adolescents, elderly people.
5. Loss of a loved one.
6. Inability to realize your plans.
7. Changes in life: change in the field of activity, team, place of residence.
8. Premenstrual syndrome.

It happens that all these reasons are absent, but the problem still exists. In these cases, patients are interested in: why apathy and do not want to do anything? If such a problem has arisen, it is necessary to find out what else can lead to it.

Relationship between apathy syndrome and physical condition

In some cases, the patient is not really bothered by psychological problems. Then you need to find out: what is his lifestyle, whether there are Also, apathy often develops in people taking certain medications. Among the causes of this syndrome, the following conditions are distinguished:

1. Chronic diseases of the cardiovascular system. Due to the fact that a person is constantly tormented by discomfort in the chest or high blood pressure, apathy often occurs. Indeed, almost everyone knows about the complications of these pathologies (heart attack, stroke). In addition to worries about their health, apathy syndrome manifests itself as a result of changes in lifestyle (quitting smoking, mental stress, playing sports).
2. Postponed serious illnesses. In this case, the loss of interest in life is explained by the constant fear of a "new blow".
3. Oncological pathologies. A state of apathy occurs in almost every person who is faced with cancer. Indeed, according to the majority, cancer leads to inevitable death. To dispel this stereotype requires coordinated work of doctors of several specialties.
4. Endocrine system diseases. Often, apathy is caused by hormonal dysfunction that occurs with adrenal pathologies, diabetes mellitus, and pituitary adenoma.
5. Chronic alcoholism and drug addiction.
6. Taking hormonal drugs. Among them - glucocorticosteroids (medicines "Prednisolone", "Dexamethasone"), oral contraceptives.
7. The use of antihypertensive drugs. These include drugs "Enalapril", "Clofelin", etc.
8. Avitaminosis.

Social aspects of apathy

Psychologists all over the world are trying to figure out: where does apathy come from, what to do if you don't want anything? After all, this problem today has acquired enormous proportions. Due to the syndrome of apathy, not only the patient himself suffers, but the whole society. Indifference to work, study and social progress leads to the loss of qualified personnel, improper upbringing of the future generation, etc. In severe cases, this condition can even lead to suicide. Therefore, you need to know how to behave in relation to someone who has apathy, what to do if someone close to you does not want anything. The public interest in such cases is of great importance. Often, apathy occurs when a person believes that no one understands him. Also, the appearance of this syndrome is associated with non-recognition of the patient as a valuable worker or superficial attitude on the part of others.

Why does apathy occur in childhood?

Unfortunately, apathy syndrome has spread to children as well. In this case, parents should definitely consult with a psychologist, ask a question about what may cause apathy, what to do if the child does not want anything? As you know, children spend most of their time at home or at school. Therefore, the cause of the problem must be looked for there. Indifference to the environment can be caused by upbringing. In most cases, apathy affects those children who rarely spend time with their parents. Also, indifference can be caused by the wrong approach to the child on the part of teachers. In both cases, it is necessary to conduct conversations with the baby as often as possible, to perform some tasks together, to interest him in games, etc. Another reason for apathy in childhood is the child's inability to find a common language with peers. At the same time, you should try to organize joint events more often. This will help children communicate with each other after school hours and find common interests.

Methods for dealing with apathy

Before deciding what to do in case of indifference to everything, it is necessary to find out exactly: why apathy arose, what to do if you do not want anything. The solution to the problem depends not only on the work of a specialist. To get rid of such a condition, you also need the patient's desire. Treatment depends on the cause of the apathy. In case of influence of psychological factors, it is required to seek medical help. Sometimes you can get rid of apathy on your own, but this requires acknowledging the problem and making an effort to solve it. Such methods include: changing the field of activity, rest, talking with loved ones. If the problem is caused by physical factors, then it is worth fixing them.

Syndrome "apathy" - what to do if you don't feel like doing anything: treatment

A psychologist deals with the treatment of apathy. The initial sessions are devoted to finding out the reason for the indifference. If apathy has arisen as a result of stressful situations, it is necessary not only psychological, but also medication. Most often this applies to cases when the patient has lost someone close to him or her job. Prescribe drugs that calm the nervous system, antidepressants. Among them are medicines: "Magnesium B6", "Prozac", "Persen". It is worth remembering that these drugs are not indicated in all cases. The main method of treatment is psychotherapy. In the case of drug apathy, it is recommended to replace drugs that provoke indifference. With hormonal dysfunction, consultation with an endocrinologist is necessary.

How to behave if apathy appears, what to do if you don't want to do anything? Psychological advice will help you regain interest in life. These include the following instructions:

1. Identify the cause of dissatisfaction with life.
2. Relax in an unusual environment (go to the sea, spend a weekend with friends).
3. Change the field of activity if the reason for apathy lies in work.
4. Set aside time to do what you love.
5. Change your usual lifestyle.

Prevention of apathy syndrome in children and adults

To avoid apathy, you need to be in agreement with yourself. You need to be in nature as much as possible, alternate work and rest, get enough sleep. It is also important to establish nutrition: eat vegetables and fruits, consume vitamins. If apathy is observed in a child, it is worth spending more time with him, more often interested in his thoughts, organizing a joint vacation for yourself and your children.

• Desires- the desire to possess something;
• Motivation - willingness to do something to achieve what you want.

This condition can be short-lived, or it can drag on for many months, which is quite dangerous.

Causes of apathy and what to do if you don't feel like it

Before you challenge apathy, you should find out the reason for its occurrence, and then take action. Common culprits for lack of desire and motivation are the following:

	Causes of apathy
1	Common lack of energy
2
3	Laziness
4	Rejection by society
5
6
7
8	Engaging in an unloved business
9	Distress
10	Physical reasons
11	Asthenia, neurasthenia
12
13
14
15	Depression

1. Common lack of energy

Everyday routine, problems of relatives, running around at work, streams of endless information and news exhaust, take all the energy without a trace.

What do we do when we feel tired? Grab a mug of warm tea and wrap yourself in a cozy blanket? Not. We go to work again, to take care of children and household. We think about someone or anything, just not about ourselves. It is not surprising that there is no strength left at all.

How to deal with this?

• After work, do not turn on the TV, do not surf the Internet, do not read anything. Stop the flow of any information. Such rest will only take away strength. Better to walk around the city, take a bath, do something pleasant. The main thing is that you are left alone with your thoughts at least for 30 minutes.
• Reflect on your past desires. Even for children... Perhaps you wanted to buy something, eat ice cream, go somewhere, but you still haven't done it. In psychology, there is such a direction as "gestal therapy". Gestalt is something unfinished that takes energy away. Complete your past deeds, fulfill your childhood dreams, and you will release the energy that prevents you from living.
• Learn to forgive... If you hold a grudge against someone, you get upset when you think about someone. Stop doing this, you don't need this negative at all. Let him go. Forgive both that person and yourself. Think about how it will be easier for you if you let go of this problem.
• Hobbies are really cool! Better psychologists. During what we love, we get distracted and get positive emotions, and some even note that for what they love, they come up with solutions to some current issues. Remember your childhood hobbies: knitting, embroidery. Maybe you loved making beaded bracelets? Or you liked to glue something - create a family scrapbook by hand, make paper garlands for the holiday or a decorative element. Do what you love. You will feel how you began to think about your desires, and not about the desires imposed by others.
• Remember everything is cyclical... Let's draw an analogy with the change of seasons in a year. Spring is the beginning of something new, beautiful, in summer we are full of strength and energy, in autumn we reap the fruits of our labors, in winter emptiness comes. So it is with us. The old is gone, and the new has not yet appeared. Winter for nature is a time of relaxation. During such a period we force ourselves to work even more. The onset of this period suggests that you need to gain strength for the next dash, and not waste what little is left. Take a break and take care of yourself. And remember about the cyclical nature - everything passes, and it will pass.

Everyone has probably watched the old American film Groundhog Day, where the main character has to relive the same day over and over again. This happens in real life. Every day the same work, the same tasks, calls. Sooner or later it gets boring. Any work, even the lightest, puts a heavy burden on the shoulders. You cannot squeeze out a single idea or line. How can you increase productivity then?

What to do?

• Jogging. Even if you're not into jogging, just try it. Run around the house at least once. You will see, you will come running home charged with energy and full of new ideas.
• Change of work environment. If you work from home, move your workplace to another room or kitchen. If in the office, then try to find a place in the next office, for example. Create an unusual environment for yourself and inspiration will not keep you waiting long.
• Change working tools ... Turn off your computer and pick up a notebook or notebook. Make plans and diagrams necessary to work on paper. The letter will help start the thought process and bring you out of the stupor.
• Try starting from the end ... Reorder tasks as you work on a project. Choose the tasks that are most attractive to you and start to complete them. So gradually you will do whatever is required.
• Change your daily routine ... For example, do in the evening what you usually do in the morning and vice versa. Add some variety to your daily plan. For example, if you clean your home after work, try at least vacuuming in the morning.
• Relax ... If nothing helps at all, agree with yourself that after a couple of hours of rest and pleasant activities, you will devote yourself to work. So you motivate yourself with "idleness" and happily take on any work after a two- or three-hour break.

Yana. Story-woman editor ... Due to the specifics of my work, I constantly read a lot of information on the Internet in search of inspiration and new trends in the women's industry. But sometimes, passing by Rospechat, I still buy a magazine in order to read it in the evening, smell the freshly printed paper and take a break from the monitor.

1. Laziness

Banal laziness is one of the simplest and most harmless reasons for not wanting to do anything. But is it so harmless?

Let's say, in order to get healthy and lean, you decide to run in the morning. In the evening, you are enthusiastic to start right in the morning. But when you wake up the next morning, you find that running in the morning doesn't seem so good anymore. Healthy sleep is the key to health, you think. You wake up the time allotted for jogging, and in the evening you already regret not being able to get up and blame your laziness for everything. The next morning, history repeats itself ... Days, weeks, years pass. So laziness has become a serious obstacle on the way to health and harmony. And now the extra pounds on the sides, a sore back and other "charms".

And so in everything. Laziness does not allow you to complete tasks, achieve goals, live a fulfilling life.

How to deal with laziness?

• Dream. This is part of human nature. Close your eyes and let your thoughts fly freely. Pleasant pictures, thoughts and desires will begin to appear in your head ... You still want something, you have always wanted. There is no point in opposing it.
• Listen to good music. Favorite music can be a great motivator.
• Write wish lists. The main thing is to do it right. When you are alone with yourself, take a pencil and a blank sheet of paper and write down whatever wishes you can think of. You need to dial at least a hundred. According to psychologists, the first 50 desires are not yours, but imposed by society. After about 50 desires, consciousness will begin to reveal the truth to you.
• Use visualization. Think about what you want. Attach a wish board in a prominent place and place images of everything you dream about on it. So you will see in which direction you need to move.
• Learn to break big things into small ones. It's the same with big dreams. As soon as some goal seems unattainable, think about what you can do to get what you want, think over all the small steps on the way to your dream. You will not even notice how you have achieved what seemed impossible to you a week, month or a year ago.
• Leave your comfort zone.Do what you were afraid to do before. Let changes in your life and it will sparkle with new colors.
• Track your progress. Every day or every month, write down all of your successes and achievements, and re-read this list from time to time. This will inspire you to further deeds.
• Think back to your past successes. You graduated with honors from a school or college and got a good job. This will help you cope with despondency and self-doubt. Once you've succeeded, and of course you can again!
• Sometimes it is helpful to do nothing. Absolutely. Turn off your TV, computer, phone, tablet, sit on a chair and fold your arms. Let's see how long you can handle. Absolute inaction will force you to take up even the most unloved work.

How to overcome laziness: the soft, hard and super-hard way

1. Rejection by society

Do you feel lonely and not needed by anyone? Do your colleagues refuse to do business with you and ignore you in every possible way? Whispering behind your back? Nobody appreciates your efforts? Will not will give up, lost motivation and self-esteem falls.

According to studies, people who are rejected by society, over time, cease to adjust to social norms, to monitor their appearance. The process of self-destruction starts. There is a craving for alcohol, smoking, eating behavior is disturbed, for example, an outcast begins to abuse sweets. You lose control over yourself and over your life.

What to do?

Talk to people around you, ask about the reasons for such a negative attitude. If you cannot establish contact in a team or in a society in which you have to be for a long time, then it is better to completely change the environment.

1. Neglecting physical needs

You often wake up for work because you stay up late. You go hungry for half a day, and in the evening you try to finish what you have not eaten all day due to lack of time for a normal lunch break. Snack frequently on the run. Don't eat breakfast. You work so hard and so hard that you completely forgot about rest. Familiar situations? Neglecting your physical needs can be a serious cause of bad moods. After all, fasting provokes a lack of sugar in the body, which makes you irritable and tired. Lack of sleep and rest negatively affects the nervous system. With such a schedule, sooner or later you will simply "break".

What to do?

No matter how trite it sounds, take care of yourself. Be more attentive to your body. Eat regularly, walk in the fresh air, rest and your mood will improve in an instant.

You are about to take a major step in life, but you are not sure of any of the possible solutions. Or vice versa, you just need to go to the store, but you do not know what exactly to buy. The more decision-making situations happen to you, the more energy you lose. You start to feel tired, but not physical, but psychological.

What to do?

Create a notebook where you schedule decisions for making decisions. So you will roughly know when and what you need to decide and no longer get out. Because then,. Over time, you will get used to it and it will not seem so difficult to you. Don't forget to schedule your rest hours.

Let's say you decide to lose weight. They began to actively play sports and eat right. Weight began to slowly go away, but you are still far from ideal. You are inspired by the results, and you have become even more intense. At some point, weight loss slows down and stops altogether. It seems to you that all the forces that you spend, the limitations that you endure are in vain. Instead of waiting out this period, quietly continuing to exercise and sticking to a diet, you get frustrated and give up everything. You are tired of everything and the best way out for you is to buy fatty and junk food and start eating, eating and eating while sitting in front of the TV. And so in everything: in work, in sports, in self-development.

What to do?

It is necessary to realize that everything does not always go straight into the hands. To get what you want, you need to spend a lot of energy and not little time. See the highest meaning in this. Perhaps what you did not receive, you simply do not need, or obstacles on the way to what you want will give you the necessary experience. What you got with difficulty will be appreciated much higher.

1. Engaging in an unloved business

You hate your job, but you get out of bed every day to do something you hate. Why? Because you need money, you have a family, or perhaps, once, you were promised a good promotion.

Sooner or later, you will burn out. You will be overtaken by a state of fatigue, overwork, inner emptiness. You will begin to blame everyone around you for your unhappiness. And you also ask: "why don't you want to do anything?" Because you are doing the wrong thing!

What to do?

Listen to yourself what you would really like to do. It seems to you that life or society requires the right things from you, and you obey people and circumstances, drowning out the cries of your own "I". Stop doing this, seek your true self. Try new things so that you don't regret missed opportunities later.

1. Distress

Stress can sometimes be beneficial. In stressful situations, the body mobilizes its entire reserve to deal with the unpleasant factors that caused stress. Performance, attention and memory are improved. But if the stressful situation lasts too long, our body starts to get tired of such stress. There is a complete indifference to what was important. A state comes when you do not want anything, nothing pleases. Such prolonged stress is called distress.You start imagining your future and see little good in it.

Why is this happening?

It's all to blame for the development of the frontal cortex, which is responsible for our imagination.

• The brain is able to fill in the gaps. If we missed something, or missed a word in the text, our brain fills in the voids to get a complete picture. We sometimes do not even understand that something was missing somewhere. So it is with our thoughts about the future. The brain fills in the blanks regarding your current state.
• We perceive our future in relation to the present. If the current situation evokes only negative thoughts, then it becomes more difficult to see a “bright” future.
• We can not always guess our feelings in relation to upcoming events. We think we will be happy when we get married, our team will win, we will win the competition. But in reality, when this happens, the surge of positive emotions is not as violent as we expected. But if we are suffering now, it is difficult to imagine happiness in the future.

What to do?

• If any events in your life make you think about how you will feel in the future, it is worth talking to someone who has already faced such a situation. For example, you have lost a prestigious job and this haunts you. Talk to a person who has already been fired from a good position, find out how his life turned out.
• Stop trying to control the future. We can imagine, but we cannot predict.
• Do not limit your gaze to the future with subjective feelings. There are always circumstances that can drastically change your life. Don't look under your feet, look around so as not to miss anything.
• Don't delve into the past. You will not be able to remember past feelings, to determine what you liked and what did not. The brain erases all memories of feelings. You will look at the past in terms of your present state.
• Not imagine what the feelings will be in the future. If you are not able to remember the experienced feelings, then there is no point in trying to predict the future.
• Live in the here and now. If something serious happens, do not analyze the situation in depth. Respond immediately and take action. This will help you cope with difficulties 100% more effectively.

1. Physical reasons.

Often, the state of apathy can be associated with any physical illness, disturbances in the work of internal organs, and the intake of certain medications.

Physical reasons:

1. Disruption of the endocrine system;
2. Oncological diseases;
3. Diseases of the cardiovascular system;
4. Alcoholism and drug addiction;
5. Postponed serious illness;
6. Lack of vitamins;
7. Taking hormonal drugs ("Dexamethasone", "Prednisolone") and oral contraceptives;
8. Taking medications that help lower blood pressure (Enalapril).

What to do?

First of all, you should contact a medical institution for a complete examination. If it turns out that apathy is caused precisely by malfunctions in the body, it is necessary to undergo treatment.

1. Asthenia, neurasthenia.

A serious illness (flu or pneumonia) can result in asthenic syndrome. All the forces of the organisms were spent on fighting the disease. Doing the usual things requires more effort and time, and any nervous shock, even a pleasant one, can provoke hysteria and tears. Asthenia can also be caused by a chronic disease leading to a breakdown: AIDS, hypotension, diabetes. A person experiences complete indifference to everything, powerlessness.

There is also a kind of asthenia - neurasthenia, a consequence of psychological trauma. The body saves energy, recovers after the shock experienced. This is more likely not apathy, but irritation, frequent mood swings.

The development of neurasthenia goes through three phases:

1. Equalizing. A person reacts equally violently to everyday trifles and to a larger problem.
2. Paradoxical. The person is incapable of responding to serious problems, but fails over the little things.
3. Ultra paradoxical . Absolute fatigue and indifference. A person does not understand what is happening around him, it is difficult for him to answer and react.

How to fight?

1. Take medications and vitamins that help improve brain activity;
2. Start using special psychological techniques. For example, during the paradoxical phase, the exercise "Watchman" will help:

We lie down on the sofa, close our eyes and try to brush aside any thoughts except one. Imagine that we have a pumped-up guy in the uniform of a security guard in our head, a cap with the inscription "Security" on his head. He has no sense of humor, he says only one phrase: "Goodbye!"

1. Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS)

Apathy can be a consequence of CFS. What is CFS? Here the opinions of scientists are ambiguous. Some believe that this is the same as asthenia and neurasthenia. Others also call CFS immune dysfunction or encephalomyelitis.

Unlike asthenia, the syndrome affects groups of people. It is not known why this is happening. Common versions: undetected virus, intestinal disorders, immune problems, latent food allergies.

CFS symptoms:

1. Insomnia;
2. Muscle weakness;
3. Body aches;
4. Exhaustion.

Scientists agree that this is the result of fatigue. You can achieve positive emotions from the patient, a sincere smile towards friends and family.

What to do?

See a specialist for a complete examination.

1. Schizophrenia and organic lesions in the brain

The cause of apathy can be dementia, neuroinfection, Pick's disease, Alzheimer's, which leads to degradation, accompanied by the loss of any desire, except for the satisfaction of physical needs.

Apathy can also be a symptom of schizophrenia. It all starts with the emergence of crazy ideas, loss of interest in everything. It is difficult for a patient to “kill time”; he stops taking care of himself and the house, which is gradually turning into a trash heap. Then hallucinations appear, the delusional idea rivets his attention to itself and for a while returns the patient energy.

What to do?

As soon as possible, contact a psychiatrist who will prescribe specialized treatment.

1. Burnout Syndrome (SEB)

CMEA - psychological exhaustion caused by prolonged stress. The risk group for this disease includes, mainly, citizens working with people. Some of the most dedicated professionals suffer: doctors, teachers, social workers ... These people, every day, face a wave of negativity, while putting their “soul” into their work. They do not recognize their right to fatigue and rest, trying to help not only formally. Over time, the energy "leaks", psychosomatic diseases develop. The psyche tries to defend itself, "turns off" emotions, human activity becomes formal, specialists become irritated and indifferent towards their clients.

Symptoms:

1. Persistent fatigue;
2. Constant feeling of sadness;
3. Ennui;
4. Lack of confidence in their abilities;
5. Inability to express any emotion
6. Lack of desires.

CMEA is developing as follows:

Stage 1 . A sharp onset of fatigue, frequent mood swings, loss of interest in a previously loved job. A person tries to work through force, not paying attention to the alarming signals of his body, he stops sleeping peacefully. The feeling of anxiety increases.

Stage 2 . The person stops communicating with people. Expresses a negative attitude towards others, becomes sarcastic and irritable.

Stage 3 . A person loses all contact with society, withdraws into himself, ceases to take care of himself. Bad habits develop: drug addiction, alcoholism, smoking.

How to deal with CMEA?

But it is best not to allow such a state to develop. If you feel that normal sleep is no longer saving you from fatigue, take the following measures:

• Get more rest, do not miss vacation time and weekends, leave the workplace on time;
• Do not fill your head with unnecessary information. Turn off the TV and read a good book;
• Do what brings you pleasure;
• More physical activity;
• Do not use gadgets too often and for a long time;
• Look for new experiences;
• Learn to prioritize. You can't keep up with everything at once. Important things first, others can wait;
• Think about your health first. Sleep for at least 7 hours. Eat sweets and caffeine in moderation;
• Express your emotions. Man is imperfect. Be human;
• Don't promise too much, or it will poison your life;
• Think about what you are dreaming of and what will help to fulfill your dream;
• Don't neglect sedatives. They will help prevent the CMEA from developing.
• Try to avoid situations that upset you.

1. Depression

Depression is one of the most dangerous causes of apathy. Depression is a psychological disorder accompanied by loss of interest in life, eating disorders, sleep disorders, and emotional retardation. The bad mood does not go away within two weeks. Sometimes thoughts of suicide arise.

According to experts, a person who is depressed does not necessarily look depressed. Sometimes people are deliberately having fun, being overly active in order to hide their condition. But everything they do does not bring them any joy.

Depression can be caused by:

• Predisposition to this condition;
• Death of someone close to you;
• Great exhaustion;
• Mental disorders;
• Prolonged stress;
• Life changes (retirement, divorce, job loss).

How to beat depression?

In the first six months you can deal with depression on your own. To do this, you must adhere to the following rules:

1. Try to distract yourself... Don't be alone, do something enjoyable, find a hobby. After all, loneliness and idleness are ideal conditions for gloomy thoughts;
2. Move more, or better yet, exercise. Physical activity is health, slimness and endorphins. Three components of a great mood. But choose a quiet activity such as yoga or Pilates, as too intense training can worsen the condition;
3. Don't set the bar high... Demanding from ourselves the fulfillment of lofty goals, endless tasks, we do not allow ourselves to relax, we ourselves create stressful situations;
4. Watch your diet.Avoid skipping meal times and eat healthy and healthy foods. This will strengthen not only your body, but also the nervous system;
5. Try to understand the reason... Think about what triggered your condition. Reframe the situation to help you deal with negative thoughts.

If you can't cope with depression on your own:

1. See a specialist who will prescribe antidepressants and prescribe psychotherapy;
2. Strictly follow all the instructions of the doctor;
3. Be attentive to your condition, notify the doctor in case of any changes;
4. Make a plan for the next day, take every hour of your time;
5. Set yourself achievable goals;
6. Keep records;
7. Leave the bed immediately after waking up;
8. Talk with your doctor about how to deal with a possible relapse.

Unfortunately, our children can also be prone to apathy. Since they spend most of their time at school and at home, the cause of apathy should be looked for there.

Most likely causes of apathy in children

1. Lack of parental attention;
2. Wrong approach to the child by teachers;
3. Problems in communication with peers.

How to deal with childhood apathy?

More attention from parents is needed. Joint trips, games, activities will be beneficial. You should talk with the baby more often, conduct conversations. In the case of peers, organizing events and games will help the child find a common language with other children, and communicate more often after school hours.

And finally, a few tips from the famous coach Leonid Krol on what to do when you don't feel like doing anything:

• You need any desires, especially forbidden ones;
• A tired person will not be able to take care of others, because he does not know what these “others” really need. Ask your loved ones what they want. When your care is accurate, it will become much easier;
• If you decide to save the whole world, start with yourself;
• Express emotions, even anger;
• Outline your territory, everyone should have it;
• Every day, do your exercises, where there should be exercises for the development of plasticity and somersaults. Keep your back straight and your shoulders straight;
• Remember your debts, but don't forget about time for yourself;
• Make new acquaintances, do not hesitate to communicate;
• How tired are you? Start doing more than planned work and you will understand how tired it is.

Down with gloom! Apathy and Laziness

These are symptoms of apathy, a difficult mental state, which for some time "knocks out" from the usual schedule of life, makes you feel lost, alone, causes not only physical passivity, but also indifference to any aspect of daily life, to other people.

It is important not to confuse the state of apathy with the depressive state, because depression is a complex mental disorder, during which apathy can act as only one of the symptoms. In most cases, apathy is an excellent indicator of intrapersonal problems and conflicts. If you do not want to one day be overtaken by a constant complete apathy towards life, then the time has come for you to get to know the causes of its occurrence, learn its symptoms, and also arm yourself with the knowledge of how to overcome this negative state.

Why is she coming?

The term "apathy" was first used in antiquity, but in a completely different meaning. Apathy was considered the highest virtue of man, was a sign of a certain detachment and asceticism characteristic of a true sage.

our time, apathy in different areas of psychology means a negative state that brings psychological discomfort to a person's life. Apathy for life appears suddenly, and often a person does not understand its reasons and does not know what to do.

Apathy has reasons of a different nature, their knowledge provides the basis for the search for tools to get rid of this dangerous condition. Analyze the root causes of apathy so you know what to do next:

• The physical state. These can be any diseases that were accompanied by severe physical condition and stress, as well as chronic diseases. Avitaminosis, medication, premenstrual syndrome in women can also cause apathy.
• Psychological burnout. If your work is connected with constant direct communication with people (psychologist, doctor, lawyer), and you are highly responsible for their physical health or psychological well-being, then over time you may overtake emotional exhaustion. This is a feeling of being oversaturated with other people's negative emotions, fatigue, a feeling of inner emptiness, which makes it impossible to provide high-quality assistance to its clients.
• Existential problems. This is the circle of problems in psychology that concerns the very existence of a person, the meaning of his life and the revaluation of values. This circle includes age-related crises, various extreme events (death of loved ones, illness, shock), important life milestones (marriage, childbirth, aging).

Normally, a state of apathy is a warning sign of deeper problems. She talks about the need to stop and think about qualitative changes in your lifestyle and emotional state.

How to tell if it is apathy?

Observe yourself, if you find some of the indicated symptoms in your behavior and feelings, then perhaps you have apathy.

• Closure. You do not want to communicate and even see other people, any forced contacts cause a range of negative emotions, a desire to run away and hide from the whole world.
• Passivity. You are haunted by constant fatigue, unwillingness to do anything. The usual professional and activities and household chores fade into the background, you do not want to do anything. The regime of the day changes, torments constant insomnia, which is replaced by daytime sleepiness.
• You not only do not want to do anything, but you feel physical weakness, which causes drowsiness and does not allow you to lead a normal life. You find it difficult even to speak expressively
• Emotional coldness. Expressions of emotions and feelings become monotonous and inexpressive. The general emotional background is negative, the expression on the face is frowning, the look is sad and drooping. There is a weak reaction to the emotions of other people, they simply cease to be of interest. Moreover, you feel that there are no specific reasons for this state.
• Indifference. There is an indifference to your appearance, you can spend the whole day in bed feeling sleepy, ignoring food and hygiene procedures. There is a passive reaction to any requests and wishes from other people.

Take action

Constant fatigue, drowsiness, which are common causes of apathy, can disappear without a trace on their own, without the use of special methods and seeking help from specialists. Perhaps your body just wanted to rest and expressed its fatigue and oversaturation with apathy. But if these symptoms persist for several weeks, and other symptoms are added to them, then you should seek the help of a professional psychologist. But first, try to get out of this state yourself using the following actions:

• Find the reasons. Think about why you might be apathy. Since it is the surface of the problem, try to find the root that could lead to this condition. If the reason is hard work, consider the possibility of a field change or temporary vacation. If you are surrounded by "difficult" people, try changing your social circle. New solutions will give inner strength, and you will have more energy for further action.
• Try to live a healthy, active lifestyle. Change your diet, do any kind of sport: fitness, swimming, cycling, jogging or going to the gym. Get a therapeutic or relaxing massage. Such procedures will fill your body with new energy, balancing the physical and mental stress on the body.
• Plan your day. Schedule your daily activities for the month. If you manage to take a vacation, then fill these days with meetings with nice people, new activities and creativity. You can also start an unusual renovation.
• Try to compare your life with the lives of other people. Look beyond the boundaries of your own life and pay attention to how many people live in more difficult life circumstances. Find out what help your local orphanage needs and provide assistance based on your ability.
• Take a trip. If you have the opportunity, then a drastic change of circumstances would be an excellent option. Go on a trip abroad or just to your dacha, where you will be surrounded by other people and things. But do not forget, this is not an escape from problems, but giving new colors to life.

How to deal with apathy and depression, video:

The state when you do not want to do anything is not uncommon. Many people live their lives “through I don’t want to” without trying to change anything. They go to work they don't like, live with the wrong person with whom they would like to, wear clothes that they don't like. And they are not going to fix anything. And sometimes you don't want to get up from the sofa at all. In fact, there are always reasons for this.

What is the reason for apathy and unwillingness to do anything?

Analyze your quality of life. How do you spend time with whom. What do you eat? Are you wasting your nights playing computer games or useless social networking? And for a day, accordingly, you simply do not have energy left for anything. Or maybe you are an owl, and you have to get up for work at 5 in the morning? Incorrect daily routine, violation of the biological clock - sooner or later will lead to psychological and physical problems.

Perhaps there are people around you who do not get tired of complaining about their lives, shifting their endless worries onto you. Which often stress you with their news, accomplishments, behavior. These can be parents with whom you live (the most common case), or problems at school / work. To cope with stress, the body has to expend large amounts of energy. And when such people are constantly around, you reach emotional burnout.

Think about what you are eating? Healthy food promotes health and energy reserves. Harmful - slows down the metabolism, causes disease, consumes energy, disfigures the body. We ate hamburgers, washed down with cola, lay down on the sofa and wondered why I don’t want to do anything? Because all the forces of the body went to fight harmful food, to digest it. Therefore, when once again you want to eat delicious food in fast foods - show willpower and come up with something else.

Or maybe the reason is that you are not doing what you want? A person is so arranged that he moves towards a goal rapidly, and only if he really needs the goal. It is to him, and not to the boss, parents, society, etc. Only if this goal evokes those feelings for which he is ready to go forward - joy, pride, satisfaction, etc. It happens that self-doubt, probably past failures or mistakes, hinders progress towards the desired goals. Such an experience weighs heavily on the shoulders and the person falls into despondency, his hands drop.

Banal laziness is also inherent in people. For some it is a temporary feeling, for others it is a chronic condition. It is justified by lack of stimulus, emotional fatigue, lifestyle. And the question often arises - I don't want to do anything at all, I rest all the time, but why do I feel tired at the same time? The fact is that at these moments you experience a lot of feelings - guilt, shame, anger from the fact that time was wasted. But we could do so many useful things. It takes a lot of energy to experience all these thoughts and feelings, hence fatigue. To get rid of this stream of thoughts, you can practice stopping the internal dialogue, which the famous esotericist E. Tollet describes in his books.

Lack of physical activity slows down the circulation of chemicals in the body. The longer a person spends time in a passive state, the less energy is produced in him. Therefore, a passive lifestyle also leads to apathy. Go to workouts at least twice a week to keep yourself in shape, and after a few months you will notice not only physical but also mental results.

What exactly should you do if you don't want anything

Try for a while to stop struggling with the state when you don't want anything in life, and especially think about how to live if you have lost interest in everything that happens. Just imagine what your body would want. Where, how or with whom you can feel pleasant emotions, something that will awaken your energy, bring pleasure. What can inspire you? Emotional exhaustion is often the cause. Fatigue from the monotonous life ... Sometimes it is enough just to relax in nature. Forest, sea, picnic on the grass in the park - it doesn't matter. The main thing is not to think about anything and just enjoy the gifts of nature.

A state when you don't want anything can be a seasonal blues. In this case, meeting with friends (of course, if any) helps a lot. This is a great way to shake yourself up. Think about who you would really like to spend time with and, most importantly, how.

Release the negative. Stay alone with yourself and "digest" your emotions, attitude towards yourself and others. Think about why this feeling originated when it arose? What could influence this to resolve the situation? By immersing yourself in your true feelings, you can get rid of resentment and anger. Having cleared of negative emotions, the interest in life will find its way back on its own.

Apathy, which has arisen in a situation when a person has to do what he does not like, will come back again until you either change jobs, or you do not understand that this is actually an interesting occupation and you do not want to quit it at all. This happens when you start telling your interlocutor about your activities, you understand that in reality everything is not so bad, the work is interesting, the income is good and the schedule is convenient. And minuses will be present at any job, this cannot be avoided.

Do a noble cause - it can be helping orphans or elderly people in nursing homes. When you share kindness and care, in return you get a charge of positive emotions and energizing.

Banal laziness can sometimes be overcome by acting “through I don’t want to”. Gritting your teeth, through force, "scrape" off the sofa and start working. As the appetite arises with eating, so inspiration catches up in moments of activity. Plan your day, exercise, or at least start exercising. I promise you that you will enjoy the fact that the resin overcame your laziness.

The husband does not want to do anything - what is the right thing to do?

If the husband explicitly states - I do not want to achieve anything in life, try to talk and find out the cause of apathy. What could have influenced this? If a man does not need anything, only he himself or the advice of a psychologist can help himself. Still, achievements for a man are the basis of his activities.

In a family with an inactive husband who does nothing for the family, all worries are automatically shifted to the woman. Think it might be worth contacting a specialist? Indeed, in such a situation, help is required not only for him, but also for you. Perhaps a change in your behavior will affect his condition as well.

Teenage child wants nothing

One of the most common reasons mothers turn to a psychologist is when a child or adult son / daughter does not want to do anything. Mom proposes or even enrolls on her own initiative in circles, sports sections, training courses - the child does not show the slightest interest.

Analyze the situation. When did this start, did your child show desires at age 7? What did he want at the age of 8? Children are not born without an interest in the world. But often they don't want what their mother dreamed of. The child is enrolled in a music school, loaded with learning languages, and he wants to play drums, for example. Of course, mom is horrified by the sound presented in the house, the topic is closed.

Often the reason why the child does not want to do anything is precisely in too much initiative and participation of the mother. It happens that a 10-year-old child simply does not have enough time to want something, he is busy with the things that his mother took him.

Also, the reason for the lack of interest is from permissiveness. The child wanted something, asked, he was immediately provided. He has no time to live this dream, anticipation. Accordingly, receiving what he wants instantly, he cannot experience vivid emotions and quickly loses interest in this. And gradually you don't need anything to become.

I don't want to do anything around the house. Conversations about the eternal.

The sight of the same walls and furniture becomes boring, and you don't want to do anything around the house. Try to update your surroundings. It's not about something global, you don't need to immediately rip off the wallpaper and disassemble the floors. Sometimes it is enough just to move the sofa to another corner or hang a new shelf, change the tablecloth, the curtain in the bathroom. And now, the house is already different, it plays with new colors. Changing your home environment changes your thinking a lot. Tested by experience.

The desire disappears to do household chores and because of the constant stay in it. Domesticism is a lifestyle that many people like. And there is nothing wrong with that if it is a joy. And if not, it's time to get out of the den. Think it might be high time to visit friends, parents, theater or dentist? Plan a week of travel and you won't notice how much you miss your home. And the question - "why I don't want to clean the apartment", will disappear by itself.

So, let's summarize. Lingering apathy turns into depression. This is a dangerous condition, which is a complete loss of interest in everything that happens. On the part of physiology, this is manifested by an intestinal disorder, headache. Only an experienced specialist can prescribe adequate treatment for such a diagnosis. Inaction is dangerous with serious illness, suicide. Therefore, we recommend that you recapitulate your life and your habits, and if it is difficult for you to do this, contact a specialist. Nowadays the problem of laziness is solved quite confidently.

Apathy

“I have apathy” - how often can you hear this phrase from those around us. Everyone has moments in life when they don't want to do anything, there is no need for communication, nothing around them pleases. There is only one desire - to lie down, curl up in a ball, so that no one touches, does not bother.

Before wondering how to get rid of apathy, you need to know what it is, its types, symptoms, causes. Someone will smile, but in vain. Apathy is a violation of a person's mental health; it does not arise out of the blue. If this state does not last long, then there is nothing to worry about. It is much worse if the disease becomes protracted and, which is very dangerous, gradually turns into a severe form of depression. And in this case, only a qualified specialist can tell how to deal with apathy. You should not risk your health and wait - the consequences are unpredictable!

Symptoms of apathy

In order not to miss the moment, and to seek help in a timely manner, get acquainted with the symptoms of apathy.

Causes of apathy

Scientists have named the main reasons that can plunge into apathy:

• age crisis, especially middle age;
• failures in love and family life;
• the end of a certain life period, when everything went on a knurled track, for example, studying at the university;
• change of place of residence where you have lived for many years;
• change of place of work, where a large work experience has been accumulated;
• the end of a long period that required great emotional costs;
• excessive "burning" at work;
• insufficient amount of vitamins in the body - vitamin deficiency;
• suffered a serious illness,
• the presence of a psychosomatic illness;
• stress caused by some negative event;
• an excessive event that is bright in terms of emotional costs;
• period of pregnancy.

Apathy - what to do?

Apathy is a condition that you need to get rid of as quickly as possible, it does not allow you to live, allowing only to exist. It is important to remember that a state of apathy is only a reaction of the body to a not quite correct lifestyle, which is not so easy to change.

And if you feel that you cannot overcome apathy on your own, and you need the help of a psychologist, then you can sign up to us for a consultation by phone or via the Internet.

The qualified specialists of our clinic know how to deal with apathy and conquer it.

Together with a psychologist, you can analyze the situation and change something. Most often it happens that one or two consultations help find a way out. The main thing to understand that you have apathy is what to do, the psychologist will tell you.

Despite the fact that working with a psychologist is the most effective method of treating apathy, there are additional ones that help to consolidate the achieved result. Among them:

• practicing various sports;
• change the environment - acquaintances, work, place of residence;
• change eating habits - eat healthy food;
• remember the benefits of vitamins, take vitamin complexes;
• not to close in "your own shell" - to travel, fall in love, learn new things.

Important! There are times when you are not aware of the reasons for apathy. There is a danger that this could be a signal of the onset of serious illnesses such as depression, schizophrenia, various brain lesions, endocrine diseases and a number of others. To eliminate this - consulting a specialist is your first step. Do not delay your visit to the doctor!

Indifference to everything that happens around, lack of desires, emotions, interests, hopelessness and alienation. This is apathy - life goes by. But, everything can be changed, believe me. Sign up for a consultation via the Internet, call us. Doctors at the Mental Health Clinic will help you identify the causes of apathy in your particular case and find ways to recover. Our goal is to bring back the colors and taste of life. It's so cool. We are waiting for you. Good luck.

Do you have apathy? Feeling depressed? We are ready to help you! Call us

How to deal with apathy

Apathy is a disease of our time. Every mentally and physically healthy person has discovered it at least once, so the question of how to deal with apathy is extremely relevant.

What is apathy

When life is saturated with stress, anxiety, unpleasant responsibilities and hateful surroundings, it is easy to lose interest in it and become passively insensitive.

Apathy can be confused with laziness, bad mood, chronic fatigue, depression and some other conditions, since they are all a kind of "emotional and motivational paralysis." There is no desire to do anything (even what you love), try and turn on willpower, make plans, dream, develop - you don't want anything.

Apathy is a mental condition characterized by a complete absence of:

In other words, apathy is a combination of indifference, indifference, passivity and detachment from everything that happens around. This condition is accompanied by symptoms:

• dulling emotions
• lack of will, laziness,
• sleepiness during the day and insomnia at night,
• memory losses,
• unwillingness to communicate with anyone,
• physical weakness
• loss of appetite.

It is very important to understand that apathy is susceptible to healthy people, sometimes it even turns into a character trait (especially often seen in cynics and people with low social activity) and is a sign of such natural processes as pregnancy or aging of the body.

But besides this, apathy can also be a symptom of depression, schizophrenia, physical or neurological illness (for example, brain damage from infections or injuries), as well as a side effect of taking certain psychotropic drugs.

Therefore, if the apathy is too deep, prolonged (lasts more than 3 weeks), accompanied by suicidal thoughts and intentions, you should immediately seek medical and psychological help.

The flip side of apathy

Apathy is translated from Greek as “insensitivity”. Interestingly, the ancient Greeks and Romans did not give a negative connotation to apathy, on the contrary, it was a positive phenomenon. It was believed that a calm and passive, philosophical contemplation of life without striving for pleasure, without egoism, fears and passions is the true moral ideal of the individual and the highest virtue.

If in ancient times philosophers and scientists strove for detached impartiality, then today it overtakes people by itself.

People are used to perceiving illness as an unambiguous "evil", however, any illness has a positive function. So, apathy is essentially a protective mechanism of the psyche. It signals that there is some kind of internal or external life problem, that a person is doing something to his own detriment, and not for the good.

Apathy serves the instinct of self-preservation, it turns off the processes of excitation in the cerebral cortex and turns on inhibition! Hence the dullness of emotions, will, motivation, activity. Apathy is a signal of excessiveness, that it is time to "slow down"!

The fact that apathy has another, "bright" side, becomes clear if we touch on the psychological reasons that cause it:

• work without rest and days off;
• unloved work;
• complete lack of work, idleness and passivity;
• frequent communication with unpleasant personalities (pessimists, aggressors, manipulators);
• pressure from the environment, society;
• long-term painful, depressing, inhibiting the development of personal relationships;
• frequent stressful situations that consume a lot of mental energy;
• sexual problems;
• boundless perfectionism;
• addictions (alcoholic, drug, money, gambling, sexual, etc.);
• traumatic situations (death, serious illness, breakup of close relationships, long separation, forced relocation, dismissal, and much more).

It is for these reasons that apathy occurs in mentally and physically healthy people. All of them lead to excessive congestion, overexcitation of the brain. Including apathy, the brain saves itself, and at the same time the human body and personality.

How to deal with apathy on your own

It is easier to get rid of apathy when there is an awareness of this need. And it is this realization that is most often a sign of the ability to cope with the problem on your own.

The problem of apathy belongs to the category of those that are eliminated, artificially aggravated. If apathy has already attacked, you can plunge into it with your head, do nothing as much as possible and not want to, lie on the couch and yearn, complain about life and feel sorry for yourself. In healthy people, such idleness sooner or later will cause a feeling of the absurdity of the situation, the fear of "missing" life and a burning desire to actively act.

Sometimes such a stay "at the bottom" is the only free time for introspection. A person who works as if he was an instinct, thanks to apathy, gets the opportunity to become a philosopher and think about his life, understand himself, decide on desires and plans for the future. It is also a time for expressing accumulated negative emotions: crying to your heart's content, shouting, hitting a safe object, and so on.

But most importantly, diving into apathy is an opportunity to find its cause, because finding and eliminating the cause of the problem is the best tactic to get rid of it.

Since a person spends most of the daylight hours at work and it is processing in the "without sleep and rest" mode that is the main cause of apathy, you will need:

• normalize the work schedule;
• abandon the "Stakhanovite" mode of operation;
• have a good rest after work;
• take high-quality rest breaks during work (read a book, do a warm-up, take a walk in the fresh air);
• start the working day with the most difficult tasks;
• do not do several things at once;
• give up perfectionism at work;
• resolve conflicts and disagreements;
• communicate with positive colleagues and like-minded people;
• create coziness and comfort directly at the workplace;
• look for and create sources of positive emotions at work;
• quit your job if it is hateful, having found another to your liking in advance.

To effectively fight apathy, you need to make a number of important life changes:

• change the social circle, if it is made up of pessimists, those who like to complain about fate, shift responsibility, infect with panic and others;
• surround yourself with people who will support, believe, love and, in general, will be optimists;
• add novelty and extreme to life (from going to a museum to jumping with a parachute), they will excite, stimulate the production of adrenaline and hormones of happiness;
• even if there is not the slightest desire to set goals and achieve them, this needs to be done, it is better to choose one of those not too significant goals that you could not achieve earlier (for example, learn to roller skate);
• pamper yourself with something that has been dreamed of for a long time (purchase, travel, meeting with friends);
• carry out general cleaning in the house, throw away everything old, unnecessary, associated with something negative, make the space around you bright and clean;
• make all the necessary cardinal changes in your personal life.

Prevention of apathy

Surely everyone who was overtaken by apathy knows that she is trying to return later for the same or different reasons, so the best remedy for apathy is its prevention.

How should a person live in order not to succumb to apathy? Of course, there is no one hundred percent guarantee that apathy will not overtake, but it is still better to adhere to these rules:

• do not be afraid to express yourself, do not be ashamed of the manifestation of emotions, defending your point of view;
• fight laziness and blues, do not allow yourself to be idly bored and sad "just like that";
• get rid of bad habits;
• identify and strive to achieve personal goals that generate meanings and stimulate action;
• add something new to your life and try to see new in the usual;
• observe the correct daily routine (it is especially important to fully rest and get enough sleep at night);
• go in for sports (at least elementary exercises in the morning and warm-ups during the working day);
• resolve emerging problems in time;
• refuse to communicate with unpleasant people and stay in unpleasant places;
• limit the flow of negative information from the media and other sources;
• to be creative, hobby.

Even soulless mechanisms cannot withstand an unbearable load, what can we say about a person! You need to listen to your body and strive for harmony in everything!

Apathy: what to do if you don't feel like it

Cold days make you want to soak up longer, wrapped in a blanket and buried in a book. But things are not waiting ... Laziness overcame, some say. Apathy attacked, others explain. It seems that such a definition sounds nobler, and it is a shame to admit laziness. But from a medical point of view, apathy is a mental disorder that can also be a sign of other diseases, including schizophrenia, senile dementia, and organic brain damage. Isn't it better to understand these concepts and ascribe to yourself non-existent diagnoses?

Laziness or apathy: how to tell

Laziness is a character trait, a bad habit, and not a physical and psychological state. For example, when a teenager watches TV, spit on preparing for tomorrow's test, or an employee leaves work early without completing an important report, because he is in a hurry to visit friends, this is laziness. The common thing here is lack of motivation. I don’t want to do something, because it’s more pleasant and interesting to do something else. Even when someone leaves unwashed dishes in the sink and goes to lie on the couch or soak in the bathroom, because washing dishes is boring and boring, it is a question of preference, which means laziness.

It's another matter if you don't want anything at all. For example, the dishes are not washed, the person is on the sofa, but this does not give him any pleasure. And washing does not seem boring, it seems that there is absolutely no strength for it ... Here it is already worth thinking about how to overcome apathy.

If it seems to you that you are suddenly lazy, and there was nothing like this before, it's definitely not about laziness. After all, she is a lack of hard work, a conscious or semi-conscious preference for entertainment and idleness, rather than work, a desire to avoid difficulties. And the assessment of laziness in different cultures varies, because this is a category of morality. You can consider this quality as the "engine of progress", helping to invent everything that simplifies human life. Or lack of motivation - it is worth choosing the right incentive - and laziness will disappear. Scientists have created the dopamine theory of laziness: it turns out that normally the increase in the level of the hormone of pleasure is associated with an area of \u200b\u200bthe brain responsible for potential reward. And those who already release dopamine at rest are, as it were, in a state of organic drug addiction, because any effort and change can reduce the level of already existing satisfaction.

Fatigue and apathy: causes

So wanting to indulge yourself on a rainy evening is apathy or laziness? Neither one nor the other. If the body requires rest, pleasure (but this is not your constant choice), then it just needs to save energy. This happens when a person is tired, and this is not always physical fatigue. With him it is usually clearer: muscles ache, weakness, but it is enough to lie down and everything will return to normal. If you are overworked during intellectual work or are nervous, fatigue is also possible. True, resting on the couch will not help here - a change of activity is more useful, for example, moderate and pleasant physical activity (for example, dancing), walking in the fresh air, a favorite hobby that requires muscle effort (hand-making).

In autumn and spring, with vitamin deficiency, a person gets tired faster. Allow yourself to rest and your strength will be restored.

If you overcome yourself (and it doesn't matter if you are digging potatoes with your last bit of strength, or if you delve into protracted conflicts between your neighbors, overcome psychological stress, "keep your brand" and smile, although you want to cry), fatigue accumulates. It can take much longer to recover. Chronic stress is usually accompanied by constant fatigue. Her main "motto" is: you want a lot, but you have no strength for anything. Unlike apathy, in which you can even live as usual, but you don't want anything. However, there are two controversial points in the distinction between apathy and fatigue, even for scientists: chronic fatigue syndrome and emotional burnout.

Burnout and apathy

Specific psychological fatigue associated with increased emotional stress, without the use of any preventive measures, usually leads to emotional burnout. Moreover, apathy - lack of desires, indifference - becomes the most striking manifestation of such constant overwork. Usually, people who work directly with people suffer from emotional burnout: managers, teachers, doctors, psychologists, social workers. The most seemingly dedicated people suffer, who pin a lot of hopes on work, dream of helping not formally, but in fact, are inclined to compassion, but in some way idealists who do not recognize the right to free time, fatigue, weakness. Often, the rules are violated, the person goes beyond the scope of official duties. Such psychologists agree to support clients by phone after the session, and doctors sit by the patient's bed after a working day. The amount of negativity that a person faces is gradually increasing, and there are fewer and fewer resources for processing it. Psychosomatic diseases develop. A "fuse" is triggered in the psyche: any emotions are turned off during professional activity, interest disappears. The specialist begins to work formally, with indifference or irritation towards clients and colleagues. He is indifferent to the results of labor.

Apathy, of course, is. After all, the same protective mechanism of the psyche is triggered: if too much psychic energy is spent, the body begins to save it and the inhibition processes begin to prevail. But what distinguishes burnout from apathy as a distinct disease?

Burnout apathy focuses only on work-related issues. Perhaps, at home, a devastated professional will feel increased weakness (especially if psychosomatic illnesses have joined), however, favorite entertainment, hobbies, communication with relatives and friends will still be of interest. But with apathy that is not associated with emotional burnout, indifference to the environment, passivity, inactivity, and drowsiness increase.

Apathy as a consequence of asthenia and neurasthenia

Apathy as a result of overwork after a serious illness has also long been known. Energy was spent not on physical work, but on recovery after operations, severe infectious diseases (pneumonia, flu), intoxication. The reasons are different, but the result is the same - the body needs to accumulate strength, so much more rest is needed than usual. This condition is commonly referred to as asthenic syndrome. It includes a feeling of powerlessness - both physical and mental, increased fatigue and exhaustion, tearfulness. A person cannot complete the usual things in one go, since he needs more breaks in work. Psychological stress (even pleasant, for example, holiday excitement) turns into fatigue, tears, irritation. Asthenia can also be considered a condition that accompanies many chronic diseases leading to a loss of energy: hypothyroidism, imbalance of sex hormones, hypotension, diabetes mellitus, various kidney diseases, AIDS. Sometimes even doctors say that such a patient suffers from apathy. Indeed, he may not be interested in anything and not want anything, because his health is undermined by the disease. But to be more precise, this is not exactly apathy: as soon as the problem is eliminated, and strength is restored (after rest, vitaminization, increased immunity), indifference will disappear.

A type of asthenia that is confused with apathy is neurasthenia, that is, caused by psychological trauma. The principle is the same: the body saves energy, only it recovers after acute stress (death of loved ones, dismissal, breakdown of relations, etc.). In this state, people lose interest in their usual pleasures, but this is not cold indifference, as in classical apathy, but irritation, rapid changes from interest to fatigue.

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Apathy

Apathy is one of the manifestations of chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS). But opinions differ about the syndrome itself. Some scientists believe that this is just another name for asthenia or neurasthenia. Others, to emphasize the physical basis of the disease, suggest for it such names as immune dysfunction or myalgic encephalomyelitis (inflammation of the spinal cord and brain, resulting in muscle pain). Chronic fatigue is contagious.

The causes of the disease are still unknown. But unlike asthenic syndrome, CFS is capable of affecting large groups of people at the same time. The most common hypotheses: a virus that has not yet been detected, an imbalance of bacteria in the intestine and a change in immunity in connection with this, or a latent chronic food allergy. Fatigue and apathy are accompanied by insomnia, muscle weakness, sometimes body aches, low-grade fever, swollen lymph nodes and spleen. And the fatigue itself reaches the point of complete exhaustion, when the patients even wash while sitting, because it is difficult to stand, or eat in bed.

Doctors agree that apathy here is a consequence of fatigue, but nevertheless it is possible to arouse the patient's interest, and a person can sincerely smile at his friends and loved ones.

Apathy as a disease: apathetic depression

What happens when a person is sick with apathy (in previous cases, apathy meant a symptom, not a disease)? He can maintain normal physical shape, therefore, having made a decision to do something, he can carry out his plans without any particular difficulties. But at the same time, the psychologically patient "does not give a damn" about everything that even basic hygiene and household concerns cease to interest him. Such a person may stop preparing food for himself, going to work, spending whole days in bed. He has little interest in what all this will lead to, what will happen to him. And the compassion and anger of those around him encounter his indifference. And this, of course, is not about indifference as a character trait, because quite recently such a patient was emotional and active. Subtle emotions are another notable feature. The nervous system of the patient with apathy poorly responds to stimuli, inhibition processes prevail.

What other signs are characteristic?

• Loss of interest in communication. The life of friends, relatives ceases to interest. A person avoids companies, gatherings, meetings with those whom he loved before.
• Refusal from hobbies and favorite ways of spending leisure time.
• Slow reactions. The person, as they say, "slows down". Moreover, the reactions are weak.
• Slow motion.
• Speech becomes monotonous, monotonous intonation.
• Absent-mindedness. A person loses things, forgets assignments, cannot perform routine actions. He does not worry if he forgot something or did not fulfill the promise.
• Difficulty concentrating. It is difficult for the patient to concentrate on one thing. He looks "dormant in reality", "soaring in the clouds."
• Weakening of memory. Due to inattention and the peculiarities of the ongoing processes, a person forgets even what he wanted to say, sometimes you have to write down thoughts in advance in order to conduct a dialogue.

If such a condition lasts longer than two weeks and does not go away after rest, is not associated with somatic diseases, it is urgent to see a psychiatrist or psychotherapist.

Often, loved ones believe that a person has become depressed. They are looking for some kind of psychological trauma in his life, they console him, they try to improve his mood. But - with apathy there is no self-accusation, suffering due to the feeling of one's own guilt, expressed sadness. A person simply does not have enough energy for deep sadness. And yet - loved ones are right in their own way, because the full name of apathy is apathetic depression. This is also a type of depression, but different from the classic one, it is even classified as atypical. A person does not consider life horrible, unbearable, but devalues \u200b\u200bit, recognizes it as meaningless. He may unwillingly perform the necessary actions, but a life without pleasure is fraught with suicide attempts. The worst is for those who interpret apathy as laziness, and begin to overload themselves with affairs, work, communication. Such overload can lead to a breakdown when the patient no longer wants to get out of bed.

Sometimes doctors share the mournful insensitivity (mental anesthesia) in depression as "conscious apathy" when the patient feels that he is missing something, he has lost emotions, the brightness of sensations. He critically evaluates his condition - as coldness, painful indifference. With "pure" apathy, there is no criticism, the patient does not think that his condition is unusual. "I don't want anything, and that's fine with me."

Apathy as a sign of schizophrenia and organic brain damage

Apathy is a condition in which one must immediately consult a doctor, since in addition to all of the above options, it can be a manifestation of such severe neurological diseases as Pick's disease, Alzheimer's disease, various dementias, neuroinfections. In this case, the symptom is the result of degradation. The weakening of intelligence is accompanied by a loss of motivation, except for the satisfaction of the simplest needs.

It is important to know that apathy may be one of the first symptoms of schizophrenia. A person does not have hallucinations, he does not express delusional ideas, but suddenly falls into apathy. Emotional vitality, activity, interest in something disappear, a person hardly “kills time”, not knowing what to do with himself. The patient becomes sloppy, stops throwing out trash, creates a bizarre and unsanitary environment in his home. He can explain the state by the fact that he is thinking hard, he needs to be alone. In schizophrenia, over time, hallucinations are added to this state or delusional ideas appear that attract the patient's attention and seem to return his energy. The sooner psychiatric treatment begins, the greater the chances of recovery in this case.

How to deal with apathy

If this is a symptom of any disease, it is necessary to get rid of it - and then the problem will be solved. When it comes to apathetic depression, medication is needed. Usually, nootropics and specific antidepressants are prescribed, as well as psychostimulants (which cope with excessive inhibition). It is dangerous to take antidepressants without a doctor's prescription, because those drugs that help with classical depression (muffle suffering), with apathy, can even more drown out the response to external stimuli than worsen the condition.

Getting rid of apathy, like any other form of depression, must be started “from the mind,” while there is still no desire. But do not strain yourself with work, but introduce your favorite activities and entertainment into life. Walks, feasible physical exercises, massage and self-massage are useful. It is important to adhere to the daily routine, and set aside more time than usual for sleep and rest. "I'll spread the clouds with my hands!" Five unusual ways to overcome apathy.

Negative emotions break through - you want to cry, feel sorry for yourself, get angry at your helplessness? Allow yourself to express your feelings, because this is a sign of recovery. Negative emotions often require more energy than others, and if the strength is found for this, then the ability to rejoice will appear.

If you suspect a friend or relative is apathetic, try to refer them to a doctor. After all, such patients are indifferent to their fate and will not turn to doctors themselves. Do not blame everything on laziness, promiscuity, or expect that "it will pass by itself." Remember: the longer a person stays in such a state, the more the body gets used to the "economy mode" and the more difficult it will be to defeat apathy.

Turbo gopher

Apathy and laziness. I do not want to do anything

A state of complete apathy and laziness, when a person does not want to do or decide anything, are strong negative emotions that, although they are not clearly manifested and not realized, but at the same time suppress the person, deprive him of his desire to live and are strong poisonous emotions. Such a person loses interest in life, he does not want anything, a kind of emotional collapse sets in.

Complete apathy, loss of interest in life, I don't want to do anything, go nowhere and decide something in principle. Probably, many have experienced something similar in their lives, not understanding where this overwhelming laziness came from. In a state of such self-sabotage, there is only one desire - to hide away from people, not to see or hear anyone, and, in general, to let everyone fall behind.

Of course, such states of complete apathy and laziness are not some kind of static personality traits given to a person from birth. Like all negative emotions, apathy, laziness and self-sabotage come to a person as a result of certain life situations, as a response to past grievances, rude remarks, violence and ignorance of his desires, first of all, by the closest people.

Apathy and laziness come from the past

The psychological reasons for the emergence of laziness, loss of interest in life and apathy can be a wide variety of situations in a person's life. First of all, the most charged period of life, which has "gifted" many of us with a whole bunch of complexes, fears and neuroses, is our childhood.

If a child from an early age is forced to do what he does not like:

• forced to engage in activities (music or sports, for example),
• make you do some chores around the house,
• do and speak the way his parents want him to,
• get carried away with what parents and relatives like, fulfilling their plans and unrealized dreams,
• they generally deprive them of initiative and the right to make their own choice.

In general, various manifestations of "parental care" and education, realized through suppression of will and violence. Such actions can generate a natural defensive reaction in the form of apathy and laziness in a child who feels that he "must" perform certain actions in order to be loved. Through "I can not" and "I do not want". On the contrary, it is encouraged by many to break oneself over the knee and is considered a natural form of growing up. In fact, this only testifies to the deep delusion of our society and the existence within each person of his inner offended child.

If a person from an early age is accustomed to doing what he does not like, then he will transfer this into adulthood. He will get used to smiling at those who are disgusting to him, to go to an unloved job, because "it is necessary", to endure nagging, will try to prove something to someone and please, and generally change many masks in life, covering up their true desires and feelings.

Social dogmas

Also, the accompanying causes of the state of apathy and laziness can be various social ideals that a person thinks to realize at all costs. For example, to graduate from school, college, find a prestigious (albeit not to your liking) job and be "like everyone else." The desire to do this may be absent, but the fear of going differently from the dogmas and rules forces you to do what is disgusting.

If a person is accompanied by negative remarks (for example, "you are a lazy person", "a muddlehead", "here the Ivanovs have a good and obedient son, not like you!"), Although, perhaps, he is trying to realize himself somehow in his own way, but does not receive even a bit of understanding and support, then all such mental material gradually accumulates inside him. It also includes all conclusions about oneself, other people, rules and laws that a person receives in this case.

So apathy and laziness live inside a person along with everything that caused these negative emotions, although outwardly a person tries not to show this and seem strong and strong-willed. But emotions suppressed inside still burst out: a state of complete apathy can suddenly roll over, interest in life disappears. This is because the hidden emotions from misunderstanding and the experienced breakdown poison a person from the inside. When I broke myself for a long time and got used to "must" than to "want".

Emotional collapse

These emotions simply exist within, not allowing poisonous negative energy to escape. Therefore, in a state of apathy, a person wants to become a frozen fish, do nothing and feel nothing. At the same time, he is overwhelmed by a storm of feelings, powerlessness to cope with them is expressed by a protective reaction in the form of an emotional collapse so that the pain is not so strong.

It is not only difficult to accumulate these paralyzing emotions for a long time, but also extremely harmful for a person. Despite the external absence of emotions, there are a huge number of them inside.

Suppressed emotions, along with all the emotional material that accompanied their accumulation (conclusions and attitudes of parents, rules and dogmas of society, saved events of the past, as well as personal inferences and offensive words-labels fixed in the subconscious) and much more - all this feeds states of apathy and laziness in a person. To fight apathy and get rid of laziness, you need to work with such episodes of the past and all the mental material that accompanied them. This is the only way to overcome laziness, get rid of negative emotions (apathy and loss of interest in life as well). A description of the turbo gopher technique, which can be useful to everyone who wants to deal with the causes of their problems and negative emotions, can be found on this website. You can also download a book with a complete description of the system.

The information on this article is the result of the personal experience of its author, all articles are written based on their own results of using the system and are not intended to convince anyone of anything.

This site is a personal initiative of its author and has nothing to do with the author of the Turbo-Gopher technique Dmitry Leushkin.

Do you know where desires actually go? Why with age you want least of all - and sex, and earn, and enjoy life? In what periods do we encounter a lack of desires and what does psychology think about it? Find out how to get your desires back.

According to the main tenet of Buddhism, desire leads to suffering.

It is because of this - that we need something - that we suffer, and worry, and suffer. There will be no desires \u003d there will be no suffering ...

It would seem that everything is so. But those who are really faced with desirelessness are talking about something else. They are not enveloped in grace, a serene smile of happiness does not shine on their face. Why is that? Because in psychology, the absence of desires is the absence of energy. Not some mystical, but quite real.

A person wants something significant, big - and moves towards it.

He wants nothing - and lies on the couch. There is nowhere to come from interest or excitement (in a broad sense).

There is no need to live. Nothing moves.

Another lack of desires in psychology is called apathy. The dictionary definition is very accurate:

A state of complete indifference, indifference.

In Wikipedia, the word is deciphered in more detail:

"Apathy (Greek α-" without "+ Greek πάθος" passion ") is a symptom expressed in indifference, indifference, in a detached attitude to what is happening around, in the absence of striving for any activity."

Along with the absence of aspirations comes indifference (literally - indifference, nondiscrimination, what I want, which is interesting to me, as if there are no more objects in the world, everything is in a common gray veil.

Let's suppose that you are still not wallowing in clinical ("real") depression, when even getting out of bed is a problem.

Then let's see where your dear ones have gone, disturbing, even rising from their deathbed, literally life-giving desires.

Desires and their absence in terms of gestalt therapy

You may remember the article on depression (““). It roughly describes this mechanism. Each “I” (self-process) represents three “floors”:

• personality (who I am, what I am, what I can do, where I came from, what I can and cannot);
• ego function (what I will do, what I choose);
• id-function ("children's part", desires, aspirations).

The latter is the fastest and reacts more to current stimuli. The first is the slowest, but also the most stable, for years. And then the absence of desires in terms of Gestalt therapy is the “crush” of the ego, its crush between rather strong desires (which are not allowed or allowed) and a powerful “persona” (“I must be…”, “I have no right to…”) ...

As a result, the ego does not work (it cannot choose), and the id function is faintly audible - no one listens to it.

Well, yes, it's easier to forbid yourself to want, than to debunk old stereotypes about yourself and try, find how to do it, come up with a form for a specific desire!

Maybe you wanted not to get drunk at all (let's say you can't do that), but really wanted to have fun. But they didn't learn to have fun differently and didn't try ...

Maybe you didn't want a family-husband, but just good sex. Or a lot of flirting! But this is impossible, only the most serious intentions should be!

Desirelessness as a consequence of introjects

And here we come to the next part: why, in fact, is it impossible?

There are 4 different positions:

1. i'm ok and the world is ok;
2. i'm good, but the world is bad;
3. i am bad and the world is good;
4. i am bad and the world is bad.

So, if everything is in order with you and the world, then you can't have enough and they are on business. If you think, as in points 2 or 3, then you cannot do much.

The prohibition is at the level of Personality, in the form of an introject:

• for “the world is bad” - there are scary people / freaks / bastards / egoists around; no one will do anything to you just like that; what you need is not in the world; the economy is crumbling, everything is expensive;
• for “I’m bad” - you cannot cope, you are weak, you are not supposed to, you are to blame - where do you still need any joys, you owe your parents / spouse / children, there is nothing to think about yourself!

Look for what introjects ("swallowed" beliefs) stop you from wanting.

Trauma as a prohibition on the future and desires

Among the distant (from six months or more) consequences of psychological trauma, there is this: a person does not see his future. He cannot dream, he is not able to desire and want, to achieve and receive. There is no future, it is closed. The person just doesn't want to live.

This is the most difficult variant of lack of desire: in psychology, work with trauma is very slow, and few people complain about the problem of “want nothing”. More often the complaint will be about “episodes that come up at the wrong moment”, maybe about indecision, problems with sleep, food, basic human needs. Even anhedonia - lack of pleasure - also happens more often than "I don't dream of anything."

What happens with trauma: the client's “I” actually disintegrates. Desire involves (and creates it) our Id, our living part, and in case of injury, a person seems to die inside and forbids himself to want.

What to do:

1. speak out (debriefing) so that a whole picture and consistency is formed - what happened;
2. admit that the injury was not the fault of the injured person;
3. to collect the disintegrated parts of oneself (including “forbidding” itself the future).

After working through the trauma, there should be no emotions left about it - only facts will remain (“I got into this, and that's how I got out of it”).

This is a blessed and important path from the state “I do not see the future, I cannot“ send myself ”there” to the resource state “I want, I can and I do”.

After all, only a dead person really wants nothing (or an enlightened person, but such people do not read articles on the Internet :)).

Vocabulary

Desire is a motive, an objectified need.

Desire is aimed at getting pleasure, i.e. the realization of basic needs does not apply to desires.

Pleasure is a sign of the realization of desire.

Why do you think some people in old age remain cheerful and active, while others, being still young enough, do not see joy in life, fall into apathy and do not want anything? Maybe nature created us like that - some cheerful, others tired? Or are we gradually, over time, wasting energy, and someone is wasting them too quickly? Why is it sometimes so hard to budge, even for the sake of what previously seemed so desirable? And what if you no longer expect anything from this life? Let's try to answer these questions from the point of view System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan.

Desire equals life

We all do something, move somewhere only because a desire burns in us, a striving for something. This is our energy, the force that pushes us forward. No desire - no strength to move. But sometimes a person loses the desire to live and to strive for something. Why this is happening, for what reasons - will help to understand the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan.

Each person is born unique, with his own set of innate properties and aspirations, which are called vectors in SVPs. There are eight of them. Along with the vector, special desires and the necessary amount of vitality are given to fulfill these desires. And everything would be fine if we understood ourselves exactly - we would know how to achieve what we want. But in reality, we are often disoriented, living blindly, which leads us to disappointment.

For example, a person with a sound vector differs from others by a special need for knowing oneself, the world, and the first causes, which overlaps with its importance all ordinary, earthly desires. To fulfill his desires, he is endowed with the ability to concentrate and abstract intelligence. Concentration on their thoughts, immersion in themselves can make such people scattered, it is difficult for them to make contact. They are interested in the inner world, which seems to them to be more significant and real than the world outside. Such people strive for meaningfulness in any of their actions. But it turns out to be not so easy to achieve it.

Until now, knowledge about human nature has been limited, the unconscious is hidden from understanding - for a modern person with a sound vector, the lack of this knowledge is tantamount to hunger, only not the body, but the soul. Without understanding your I, there can be no meaningfulness.

When life has no meaning

Apathy in the sound vector occurs when a person does not find meaning in life and any actions, he does not understand why all this mouse fuss, which others are busy with. He does not receive pleasure, joy from life, because he does not realize his desires - he does not find answers to the eternal questions that are so important to him. And then he goes to sleep, sleeps all day long, he does not have enough energy to do some necessary things. The soundman's suffering is so great that he, who considers this world to be illusory, dreams of leaving it as soon as possible.

And so that a person does not commit suicide, nature has taken care of a protective mechanism. From the unbearable pain of chronic lack of fulfillment, desire seems to burn out, and apathy sets in. The pain dulls, but, becoming insensitive, losing desires, a person gradually completely loses interest in life. Strength also goes away. He no longer dreams, does not seek, does not take risks, does not love, does not want anything from this life ... So mortido (the desire for static, death) begins to prevail over libido (the desire for life) - nature slowly and sparingly takes us out of life.

Why do people die? Because their desires disappear. And those who want something, strive and achieve something live long. The way a person is made is that he wants more and more, desire grows with each time, with each fulfillment, and along with this, pleasure also grows. And life goes on.

Apathy in the most diligent

Apathy can arise not only in the sound vector. Almost anyone can become lethargic and lethargic. if his desires are not fulfilled for a long time... After all, a person lives by the principle of pleasure. And if there is no pleasure, desires also become dull. A person is already desperate to receive something and abandons desires, continuing to go limp with the flow of life.

People with an anal vector are often prone to apathy - one of the eight psychotypes with its special set of desires and aspirations.

What are these people inherent in? Striving for fairness, purity, quality. These are high-class specialists, they have golden hands, the desire to bring everything to the ideal, to shine. They are loyal friends, devoted husbands and wives, who value and especially cherish relationships with relatives. Such people love to give and receive advice, they listen to the opinion of authorities and are often dependent on loved ones, especially on their mother. These are often indecisive, slow people, they do not like to take risks and take initiative. Before committing an act, they can think for a long time, gather strength and only then do it.

Why do desires of such people fade away? There can be many reasons, consider some of them.

The need for praise and recognition

A person with an anal vector is more led and dependent on the opinions of others than others. He needs praise and wants to receive it from others. Sometimes he is ready to do his job perfectly just for the sake of it.

For a long time not getting approval and satisfaction from his actions, he loses motivation. Moreover, a kind of imbalance arises in his rigid psyche: I put in my efforts, but did not receive a reward (resentment is born). Feeling injustice, the anal person no longer wants and cannot move (stupor), being a hostage of his ideas about the world: everything should be equally! He will refuse any actions in advance, realizing that no desired reward awaits him ahead. Refusal to act further limits the possibility of receiving pleasure, and the person gradually fades away. He is less and less eager to go out, to do some kind of work. And now he already lies on the couch all day, lethargic and obese from inaction.

Couldn't say no

The little man with the anal vector grows, learns to interact with people, like all other children. But his peculiarity is that he is a very obedient, naturally docile child and for him the tips and praise of his mother are very important, this gives him a sense of security and helps him develop. As a child grows up, he learns to make independent decisions and achieve what he wants, without trying to look for praise and approval everywhere.

If development in childhood was not entirely correct, such a person, already mature, may not be able to say "no". He remains dependent on the opinions of others, looking for mom's lost approval. Therefore, he wishes to please everyone, to please, to receive praise for the sake of praise, and only then can he feel needed and valuable. Gradually he ceases to feel what he wants himself.

To an even greater extent, this applies to people in whose set of vectors there is also a visual vector. The spectator is shy from birth and it is most difficult for him to adapt to our world. Trying to adapt to others, he seeks protection and security. The anal-visual person can be so dependent on the opinions and desires of other people that they are unable to do anything of their own accord.

As a result, there is chronic dissatisfaction, fatigue from the realization of other people's desires and attempts to please, but never please to the extent required. In the end, exhaustion comes. Since it is impossible to please, it is impossible to satisfy others, which means that you should not do this. The person sinks into deep resentment and is inactive.

Insecurity and feelings of inferiority

Chronic debilitating insecurity can be another cause of anal apathy. We can stand still for a long time, wait for an opportunity to start something. We drag on all the time with the realization of those desires that seem difficult to achieve. While we are making up our minds, marking time, we miss a lot of opportunities.

Then we get upset, blame ourselves and gradually begin to lose faith in the fact that we are ever capable of performing this or that action. Further, desires are rejected: it is useless to do something - all the same, nothing will work out. This is how we think, feeling not strong enough, brave and fast enough to get what we want.

Even if we have a great sense of purpose, perseverance and the intention to still achieve what we want, we can still be haunted at times by the thought that we cannot and will not achieve anything. This is largely due to children's attitudes received from parents. "Stupid", "brake", "crooked-handed" - children often hear this from their parents. "How are you only going to live, worthless creature?" - the anal person unconsciously repeats inside himself, who did not have a day, there were some problems at work or at home.

How to take the first step, already difficult by nature, if you have been convinced that it will not work out well anyway. But we want to be the best. But dependent on the opinions of others, and in childhood especially on the opinion of the mother, we take these attitudes upon ourselves, and they change our whole life. This renders an already indecisive person unable to take important steps and leads to pathological procrastination.

This feeling of one's own worthlessness can haunt a person for a long time. The depressed mood lasts longer and longer, the suffering intensifies and unfulfilled desires are set aside as unrealizable already.

Refusal to implement. Addiction instead of freedom

Those people who have come to terms with their own non-realization are of course dependent on someone to take care of them. A person needs food, clothing, a roof over his head, and if a person does not provide himself with all this, then someone must give him everything he needs. Often, mothers who do not want to part with their children take care of their children, already adults, and non-working women depend on their husbands who feed and take care of them.

In our time, quite often, anal-visual people, growing up, remain infantile, unable to take care of themselves even about themselves, let alone others. If their upbringing was wrong, without the feeling of security and safety received from their parents, then they live in fear and uncertainty until the end of their days. It can be quite problematic for them to enter adulthood.

Instead of implementation, they look for ways to postpone any action, because it seems difficult and dangerous. If the environment supports this desire, then they can sit on the "penalty area" all their lives, avoiding communication with the world, decisions, actions, any responsibility or manifestation of themselves.

When we ourselves do not strive for anything, we get used to depend on those who care about us. We learn to manipulate them and depend on their location. We learn to live by certain rules, we are afraid to break them, so that the one who takes care of us and solves our pressing problems does not deprive us of what we need.

As a result, we live in a golden cage, where there is everything or almost everything, but there is no main thing - the freedom to realize ourselves in accordance with the properties set by nature. In the end, life becomes, as in a fairy tale - "whatever will or bondage is all the same," because desires have long died, and skills, if they were once acquired, have been lost. We can only live out a gray, joyless, apathetic life in dependence.

How to bring back the joy of life?

To revive desires, start small. First, clearly determine what desires are hidden or suppressed in us. Many are so dependent on the opinions of other people that they never realized what they really wanted. System-vector psychology allows you to understand yourself in a short time and with great accuracy. Then you need to begin to slowly act, take small steps towards the goal - the realization of your desires. One has only to try it once, have fun, remember this pleasant feeling from what has been achieved, and then try again and again. Each time the desire will increase, grow, and with the increased desire, forces will appear.

Don't be discouraged if something doesn't work out yet. We give up so easily for various reasons - then the belief in our worthlessness is so strong that we are struggling to unconsciously find confirmation of it, then we are already used to being so lazy that we don’t want to change anything - we are so comfortable. We didn’t even notice how at a young age we began to feel decrepit, old people useless to anyone. But we are not like that, even if we are already 70! It's never too late to start living a fulfilling life.

The system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan helps to work out all our negative attitudes, to realize those unconscious mechanisms that from time to time led us in a vicious circle of unfulfilled desires. A deeper understanding of oneself, one's characteristics and real desires gives a new sense of oneself and life in general.

Equally important to maintaining confidence and stability is the right environment that will empower you to gain new life experiences. Only among other people can we understand our natural qualities and fully realize ourselves. We need like-minded people nearby, people with whom we can talk in the same language, who can be guided by.

You will definitely find such people at the training on system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan. And here you can decide what exactly you will do in your life, learn to make the right decisions for which you will not have to blame yourself or others. You can understand a lot about your life already at the introductory free online lectures, where the anal vector is also considered.

Let's take action and our awakened desires will lead us as far as we want!

And let life go on!

Victoria Gogoleva, student of the Faculty of Psychology

The article was written using materials from trainings on systemic vector psychology by Yuri Burlan
Section: