I don’t want to live and what to do with it? Tips for those who want not to get sick and live a long time Look at things more broadly

Sooner or later, each of us is faced with the feeling that life is meaningless, everything goes in a circle, an understanding comes: neither twenty nor forty years later nothing will change, only health will start to supply, and more and more energy will be spent on everyday affairs, and living , in fact, there is no need. What if you don't want to live? Doomed to meet?

Everyone experiences this state in their own way: someone will accept and continue to "pull the strap", and someone begins to overcome the crisis by buying expensive cars, changing husbands or wives, and someone even begins to think about suicide.

Psychologists say: occasional suicidal thoughts that appear are quite normal and even typical for the same adolescents, the main thing is that their appearance is really rare and ends with an adequate assessment of the situation and awareness of the need.

The reasons for the lack of desire to live

Usually, the desire to live disappears for the following reasons:

• The onset of the stage at which, according to the prevailing opinion of the majority, a person should have accumulated a baggage of benefits or obligations.

By the age of twenty-five, a woman is increasingly reminded of the notorious biological clock that ticks inexorably, and if she did not acquire a husband and a child and did nothing for this, the pressure of the public circle can bring her to depression.

From a man to thirty, depending on the social circle and social status, they expect successful career growth, the presence of a car and other attributes of "established life", and a lonely childless bachelor of an ordinary profession may become depressed simply because he did not achieve the heights that he himself, maybe he didn’t want to achieve it, but it seemed like he had to want to do it.

• “Program completed” is the opposite of the above, when an individual knows that in his age he has achieved everything he could achieve, and there is nothing more to want.

Such a situation and depression against its background is typical for a circle of wealthy successful people who have everything, there is nothing more to do, and nature requires to achieve further results, but in the family and in the professional sense, everything is so successful that there is nowhere to move - the life program has been completed ...

This is also typical of pensioners: after leaving work, they do not know what to do with their free time, especially if the children have grown up, and the grandchildren do not require regular help and supervision, and the social circle becomes scarce.

• A "vicious circle" is an option in which an individual develops squirrel-in-the-wheel syndrome.

Events repeat from day to day, nothing changes, vivid incidents that make it possible to distinguish one day from another do not happen, and a reasonable question arises: why do I exist at all? For what?

The next step comes the realization: I don't want to live. A person usually does not know what to do in this situation, and if he or loved ones do not catch himself in time, everything can end in depression.

How to get out of clinical depression

The most dire prospect for those tired of life is the development of clinical depression.

Clinical depression is not a momentary sadness, melancholy, which can be successfully consumed with sweets in a circle of friends, but a serious medical diagnosis, and it will not work without help.

You can try to drive depression inside and go through everything on your own, but sooner or later it will hit you with tripled force.

Clinical depression sneaks up imperceptibly - everything seems to be fine, only the person is a little sad, but this happens to everyone, and now he is a sad month, two, three, the mood jumps, irritability, tearfulness appear, appetite and sleep disappear, the desire to communicate disappears , the circle of communication is narrowing, he does not want to do anything ...

It would seem that you will think about what little things, but the depression grows, and without appropriate treatment, with the indifference of others, a person can reach the point of committing suicide simply because he is sure: he does not want to live and will never want to.

If you suspect that you have latent depression, if attempts to distract yourself with sports, hobbies, reading and communication with people fail over and over again, there is only one way to escape: see a doctor immediately.

Lack of "life's work" - how to fix it

If the psychiatrist after the examination confirmed that depression is not your case, think about what is the reason for not wanting to live. Often the main problem is the lack of a goal, a kind of beacon, to the light of which a person goes, overcoming obstacles.

• to expand the circle of communication, which for many is limited to colleagues at work and regular friends;
• get a pet - this will automatically open up a new world for you, in which there will be owners of other animals, you can communicate with them, share experiences;
• look for an exciting activity outside the office and at home: sports, floriculture, hobbies, everything that is connected with communication with lovers of the same type of activity. This will expand not only the circle of communication, but also increase interest in life, develop a desire to learn something new, give small but important goals, or even some kind of global dream of a lifetime.

Pension and completed program - how not to lose interest in life

Often a crisis overtakes a person in, and the reason for this is the feeling that the program of his whole life has been completed: the children have left the family nest, they bring their grandchildren on weekends or on holidays, work as a work of a lifetime has also disappeared, and the individual is left alone with himself and depression. outside the usual social circle.

And then it turns out that he does not know how to live without work, but he simply never remained alone and without the need to rush all the time. He doesn't know what to do with his newfound peace!
As a result, the individual comes to the idea: I don’t want to live, I don’t know what to do, it’s time to get ready for the grave.

This almost never happens in the life of people who are active, socially adapted - for them leaving work is not a step into depression, but an excuse to finally start doing everything: to realize all their dreams and plans, to take care of the garden, restore furniture, and study history books.

For relatives who, in their declining years, complain, they say, I do not want to live, what to do, it is worth considering an adaptation program. And to provide a pensioner with problems in the form of grandchildren and great-grandchildren is not a good idea, because sooner or later all children grow up, acquire hobbies, and the pensioner will again plunge into the depression of a lifetime.

Better teach him how to use a computer, go to a local neighborhood club or leisure center, discuss everything that he would like to collect to fill his life. In no case should he be confined to his family and relatives, on the contrary, the circle of his interests and communication should be expanded so that the pensioner does not live from meeting to meeting with children and grandchildren.

If it seems that everything has been done, if life in poverty without a family and children is scary, if you do not know what to want, it is enough to look around, to understand what exactly prevents you from being interested in life. You may have run into the depression fence near where the gate is installed, just turn your head to see it.

Reading time: 3 minutes

What if you don't want to live? The blows of fate, crushing failures and painful losses can accompany an individual at any stage of life. Sometimes it happens that the world loses its colors, hope disappears, the meaning of being disappears. It is at such moments that the desire to fight and continue to exist disappears. And many begin to wonder what to do if they don't want to live at all? These types of difficult moments must be overcome in spite of everything, even when you want to give up. It doesn't matter what depressing and painful situations a person has encountered during a period of life. It is important not to succumb to their influence. After all, any day lived with him brings something new, previously unknown, interesting. Today the sky is black and there is a thunderstorm, and tomorrow the sky will sparkle with a variety of colors reflected in the warm sunshine.

A similar thing happens in human existence. As if there is no way out of the host of problems today, but tomorrow something happens that solves all problems in one fell swoop. After all, everything can really be adjusted or corrected, only death is irreversible. Therefore, as long as the individual exists bodily, hope must invariably flicker in him.

In the first turn, the individual who asked this question is recommended to try to understand the events that are taking place. Analysis of the situation helps to make the right decision, plan specific strategic actions and helps to distract slightly from depressing thoughts.

In addition, it is necessary to distinguish between depressive moods or banal melancholy that fit into the boundaries of normality from the real one. Despondency and melancholy can be overcome on their own, and the depressive state needs professional correction.

If the question looms before a person: “what to do if you don’t want to live anymore,” you should not drive such thoughts away from yourself, considering them shameful or unacceptable. The problem does not cease to exist and have a destructive effect if a person pretends that it does not exist. It is at the stage when the individual begins to think about the need for further being that he so badly needs help.

It often happens that the subject of a depressed mood is so shameful and forbidden that an individual has to exist for years in a depressed state. Some do not cope with the severity of problems and find peace at the bottom of the bottle, while others blame the discouragement and fatigue from work, hiding the lack of aspirations behind responsibilities, justifying the lack of a normal intimate life with everyday problems. Such a trivial existence can continue for a long period until the individual realizes one day that he has long ceased to feel happiness. People, in the face of the daily heap of problems, the intense rhythm of life, the endless pursuit of imaginary values, lose value orientations, lose their goals and understanding of the meaning of existence. They turn into robots, existing according to a program given by someone.

The mistake of most human subjects lies in stereotyped thinking. Many do not follow their own path through life, but imposed by society, social environment or relatives. Therefore, work does not give pleasure, my husband has long become disgusted, children have become annoying.

Therefore, first of all, you need to reconsider your life goals, your own pastime, to understand what really brings pleasure, gives joy and illuminates with happiness. When an individual completely loses interest in his own being, loses social activity and becomes apathetic to everything, you need to immediately visit a psychologist.

If an individual has plunged into a whirlpool of experiences after a certain life situation, you need to try to get out of this state on your own. Since inaction will lead to a fixation on difficulties, which can plunge the subject into a depressive abyss.

The most common factor that causes melancholy is obsession with a certain unpleasant event. A constant whirlpool of problems scrolling in my head, conducting a silent internal conversation with a ghostly opponent, imagining the possible course of events if a specific negative situation had not occurred. With such thoughts, the individual independently drives himself deeper and deeper into melancholy. The inability to fix what happened, coupled with a passionate desire to change what is happening, will drive anyone to madness. To stop it now is the main goal of a healthy psyche.

When everything that happens is so bad and obsessively pursues the only question "what to do if you don't want to live anymore", it is necessary to remember about creativity. And you do not need to limit your own person in the creative one. Creativity is beneficial for its variety of directions: playing music, drawing, modeling, embroidery, dancing, knitting. Every kind of creative art brings tranquility. You can choose the most elementary direction, let it be considered childish. The main condition for a hobby to give joy and pleasure.

Most often, the source of the loss of vital interest is the absence of a goal, some kind of attitude, a dream-idea, for the realization of which a person moves, develops, works, overcomes obstacles. Such an attitude can be a career, children, a dream of cloudless happiness next to a loved one, children, material security, travel.

Most individuals seem to be living someone else's life. They study in specialties imposed by their parents, work exclusively for material satisfaction, forgetting about the spiritual, live with unloved partners for the sake of preserving the appearance of a family, turning their own lives into a series of experiences, the pursuit of material benefits, attempts to snatch at least a drop of happiness.

The meaning of existence can be found in serving people, charity, creativity. The main task of every human subject is happiness. A priori, a person should be happy. It is necessary to learn to see happiness in small things, to enjoy the first spring rays of the sun or winter snowflakes, the smile of a child or the kiss of a beloved, a big salary or doing a favorite thing, meeting a friend or reading a fascinating thriller.

If a subject who has lost interest in being has children, then they are the best medicine for depressive moods. It is babies who are able to help cope with the worst loss and irreparable grief. Pure souls, kind and easy-going in their own behavior, little crumbs need adults. Any joint business with a child will save you from sorrowful reflections for a long period of time. The desire to live always wakes up when you look at your own child, the feeling of his selfless love and kindness.

Speaker of the Medical and Psychological Center "PsychoMed"

Step-by-step instructions for those who want to live, while the word life means full value, and not hammering yourself and your feelings with a demonstration of vigorous activity, completely meaningless in terms of the result

The other day in one of the groups I saw a question (in style - obviously a teenager or a very young man) that there is no depression, there is no strength and sense, help me find a good psychologist ...And then - 40 comments on the topic of whether you would walk, get drunk, watch a movie, a woman ...

Step-by-step instructions for those who want to live, but do not know what it means

Almost all advice is about alcohol. Advised in all seriousness. None of them wrote to the guy about the specialist. Because everyone is afraid and devalues ​​the problem.

Because, I'm more than sure, almost everyone who replies to him in the comments has the same trouble ...

That is why I decided to write step-by-step instructions for those who want to live, at the same time, I will separately note that the word life means full value, and not hammering myself and my feelings with a demonstration of vigorous activity, completely meaningless in the result.

So:

1. Start to cleanse yourself. From bad habits, bad thoughts, bad words.

2. Stop comparing yourself to others - compare with yourself yesterday. You will either become better, or you will understand that you are degrading. Both the first and the second - will allow you to see reality.

3. Read it. Get out of the internet for at least three hours a day.

4. Define your main "want" for the near future, write down the ways to implement this, start every day to take at least a step towards what you want.

5. Stop talking to idiots, it's contagious.

6. Stop communicating with those who harm you (criticizes unreasonably, humiliates, jokes out of measure, makes you look like a jerk). Just stop communicating.

7. Accept your loneliness for a while. Get to know yourself. Remember what you wanted to do once and for which you never had time. Here you have - this time has been freed, try it!

8. Ask for advice only from professionals.

9. Out of 24 hours, at least 14 hours should be busy.

10. Always learn. Just do not think that if you have read something, you have already figured out or understood (as many people who have read books on psychology believe that they are already psychologists. They are just people who have read all sorts of books).

11. Begin to be honest with your loved ones. It's difficult. Try it. You won't succeed. Try again.

12. Learn to distinguish communication from manipulation. To do this, stop manipulating yourself. Express your feelings openly. Say what you want to receive from others. Mouth. People cannot read thoughts. Accept this and learn to speak and not be offended.

13. Stop scolding and blaming others. If you do not succeed, you are to blame. Accept this and start working on your mistakes.

14. Less philosophy. Everything in real life is concrete. There are reasons for everything. The more vague and generalized you think, the less your real result.

15. Don't play relationship games.

16. Be able to be critical of yourself and your actions. Only through seeing your mistakes and analyzing will real changes begin.

17. Do not give advice yourself when you are not asked.

18. Do not do good through negligence.

19. Trust your inner voice.

20. Stop feeling guilty for not being like others. To each his own. Guilt is a destructive feeling. If you really are to blame - apologize, if there is no reason - go ahead and stop cheating yourself.

21. Your life and opinions can be criticized by others. Take it as a fact and stop making excuses.

22. The will is given to you to overcome those situations in which others would have died. But laziness is sometimes an indicator that it's time to relax and listen to your inner voice.

23. Don't be afraid of change. Treat them like an unexpected miracle.

24. Learn to forgive yourself.

25. Don't become a moral monster - being free and self-sufficient is not the same as being selfish and insensitive.

26. Help whenever you can help. But only when you really can and when the person is ready to accept your help.

27. Be outdoors more often - fresh air is not harmful to anyone, and thoughts are systematized much more productively.

28. Do not turn on the TV. Never.

29. Smile often. Learn to see the joy in every day. For a little. Little by little. An invaluable skill.

30. Love. For real. Everything that is in your life - a partner, friends, relatives, work, profession, world, life ... This is where reciprocity begins.

P.S. And remember, just by changing your consciousness - together we are changing the world! © econet

1. Love.

Perhaps this is the most important thing. It is love that fills human life with meaning. Love for family, friends, loved ones, love for your other half, love for animals, love for your work ...

2. Enjoy nature.

Don't let yourself sit within four walls all the time. Go outside when it is raining lightly. Take a walk along the river embankment. Relax in the woods. Swim in the lake. Bask in the sunshine. Play badminton. Walk barefoot on the grass. Enjoy nature.

3. Appreciate food.

The love of food does not have to be expressed in the amount of food consumed. Learn to appreciate the flavor and taste of what you eat. Every bite of food should bring you pleasure. If you limit yourself to sweets, make up for it with other goodies, such as berries and fruits. Take your time while eating, enjoy it slowly.

4. Create a morning ritual.

Get up early in the morning and face the new day. See the sun rise. Tell yourself that you won't let this day go to waste. You will try to help people today, and enjoy every minute given to you by the new day. Exercise or meditate as a morning ritual. Enjoy a cup of coffee.

5. Get the chance.

We are often overly cautious, worried that something might go wrong. Be brave, don't be afraid to take risks. Think - what do you have to lose?

6. Get excited.

Find what excites you in this life and follow it. Make your life a series of exciting adventures.

7. Identify your addictions.

This is necessary in order to find your calling. To do this, answer the questions: what do you like to do? Do what you really enjoy. Don't forget that you only live once.

8. Get out of your office.

Do you sit in front of your computer all day answering phone calls and sorting through piles of papers? Try to spend a day differently. Take a break, get out of the office. Try working in a café or outdoors with your laptop. Change your surroundings. If you are not comfortable with your job, find a free-time job or from home.

9. Turn off the TV.

How many hours do you spend watching TV every day. How much could you do in that time? Have you counted? Then rather turn off the TV and turn it on only when you want to watch your favorite movie on DVD. Find an alternative to television. Read more.

10. Go offline.

Most of the time you spend on the Internet is wasted time that you will never get back. Turn off the internet, get out into the fresh air, take a walk. Do it now!

02.08.18 219 634 0

Hopes of T-J readers

Strategy # 1

Invest in real estate to rent

Alla Shcherbakova

played enough

“I'm 50. Over the past 12 years, we've played enough with everything we can: mutual funds, stocks, endowment insurance, private pension funds, real estate. In many respects they suffered losses, they extracted all the money, part of them was given to the children for a mortgage, part was invested in the primary housing in St. Petersburg, now we are building a tiny one - 60 m², we are afraid of tax rampant, anything will come from our state - an energy-efficient house in the Leningrad Region, in a nice area. We will rent two apartments for the pleasure of working and traveling. "

“I already live on retirement, almost 20,000 rubles. A week ago, having sold the dacha, I bought an apartment in a new modern building - 25 minutes by train from St. Petersburg - and immediately rented it out. The money will go to the son, as he now supports his wife and child. In the future, he will inherit from me two apartments as an additional income to his pension. "

“I'm 52, my husband 46. I receive a pension of 18,000 rubles. A year ago we bought a small apartment in Tenerife, now we are saving up for a residence permit in Spain. In three years we will rent out an apartment in Moscow and leave for Tenerife. Enough for the most necessary, maybe we can find a part-time job. I hope we will succeed. "

Strategy # 2

Just save

Dmitry Krotov

thought about gold

"I am 22 years old. I save R 2,000 a month and convert them into cash dollars. I think this is a good way to save money. The dollar is more attractive to me and inspires more confidence than the euro. There were also thoughts about gold. "

“Now I am 28 years old. I don't count on a pension from the state at all, I decided to save up on my own. I am saving up with this calculation: my monthly income is 42,000 R after taxes. There are payments for a mortgage, a loan, but we do not take them into account, since I do not plan to take loans in old age. So that my income does not decrease, I need to accumulate 7,200,000 R and invest at 7% per annum in a bank account or in securities. Then my income will be 504,000 RUR per year or 42,000 RUR per month.

To accumulate such an amount, it is enough to set aside 5,000 R per month and put them at 7% per annum, which is quite realistic. The maximum rate on deposits is 6.8%, and if the money is invested in shares, then the income can be even higher.

Of course, the situation in the country can change several times, for example, inflation will increase or decrease, maybe there will be no country at all after such a period - after all, who could have guessed 40 years ago that the USSR would cease to exist. I am aware of all this, but if we proceed from the situation for today, then my plan is quite good. "

Strategy # 3

Choose an endowment life insurance program

Elena Tsygankova

going to live to be 98

“I am 58 years old, I retired 2 years ago, I get 10,500 rubles a month. To my regret, only at the age of 53 I learned about accumulative life insurance. I figured: what if the Lord will measure to live up to 98 years? Now I have a pension plus income, I am an individual entrepreneur, health, thank God, allows, but what tomorrow?

Has drawn up a contract for 17 years, annual premiums of 90,000 RR, a guaranteed insurance amount of 1,500,000 RR in case of death - our daughter will not have any extra - and in case of surviving until the end of the contract, she should receive about 3,000,000 RR. The daughters signed a contract for 33 years, contributions - 18,000 RUR per year. At 60, without waiting for the FIU, he can safely retire, receiving payments from an insurance company. Plus, the state returns personal income tax every year.

This is how Europe and America live. Their pension is not the social minimum from the pension fund, but what you yourself have accumulated in life insurance during your life. "

Strategy # 4

Hope for children

Alex Tyutnev

going to invest in family and children

“I'm 29, saving up for my country house, where I want to move with my fiancée and work remotely from home, at the same time building a family and a small farming business. I don’t expect to retire and don’t hope; I try to avoid taxes as much as possible, if there is such an opportunity. I understand that I get higher than the average for the region, but you still cannot implement gigantic plans for salaries, you cannot save a lot of money for old age. I will invest in myself and my family, and there, in old age, perhaps the children will help a little, the experience gained will come in handy, which will allow to earn extra money. "

“I will not live up to my retirement age, but if all the same, then the only hope is for my son. Now I am 37 years old. "

Strategy # 5

Buy shares

Pablito Schmeiler

started with mattress period

"I am 31 years old. I always saved money, this is my nature: at first it was a mattress period, then a period of deposits in banks, I was interested in mutual funds, metal accounts. In the last 4 years, I have been saving part of the money I earned to the IIS brokerage account - tax incentives are provided for it.

I do not trade stocks in the usual sense - I rarely make deals, on a “buy and hold” basis. This year I received a dividend equal to my two-month income. I sincerely believe that with discipline (I add money from my income every month) and patience (here compound interest comes into play like the eighth wonder of the world), in 10 years I will be able to receive a dividend income comparable to my annual income, and then it will be possible to think about early retirement ".

“I am 30 years old, I started to postpone it after the wedding, about 5 years ago. At first there was no particular goal. Then I wanted to buy an apartment, but abandoned this idea and came to the conclusion that I want to retire at a certain age and provide myself with passive income.

Bank deposits disappeared immediately, because in the medium term they lose inflation. After several months of studying the stock market and its instruments, the choice fell on him.

Initially, I opened an account with a Russian broker in order to receive a tax deduction - IIS was opened. Then I examined the “daughters” of Russian brokers, but dismissed them as unreliable intermediaries between me and the American stock market. As a result, I opened an account with Interactive Brokers. Once a quarter, I deposit money there and rebalance the portfolio by buying new shares. I invest about 35% of my income.

According to my calculations, I should reach the proper level of earnings on passive income at the age of 55. In the calculations, I used 4% of the real return above inflation - this is the average return on the stock market over the past hundred years. "

Strategy # 6

Move and integrate into the local pension system

preparing for emigration

“Personally, I don’t plan to meet old age in Russia. I'm planning to go from here to Canada. What I am doing for this right now: I am learning English as fast as I can to assimilate it; I am engaged in the confirmation of diplomas - two of my own and one from my husband; getting ready to learn to drive; I treat teeth; I improve my qualifications and receive professional certificates; I read blogs, listen to podcasts and in every possible way motivate myself to keep going in the chosen direction. But I hardly put off anything.

I am going to immigrate under the "Express Entry" program, specifically under the branch of the federal program of skilled workers - this program provides for the selection of candidates with higher education.

Where I go, retirement for ordinary people starts at age 65. And there are several pension funds operating there, including some like trade unions. This means that employers pay a pretty penny depending on who and how long you worked for them.

But the most important source of pension is something like our IIS. Starting from the second year after the move, I plan to accumulate 10 to 15% of my income in a savings account. This is in case I lose my job or someone in my family gets sick. In this second year, I will receive training on how to use Canadian investment vehicles. They differ significantly from ours.

Strategy # 7

Trust a non-state pension fund

uses corporate NPF

“I am counting on the state only for a small increase in my pension, for which I will save myself. Since 2017, I have been using a corporate NPF, all contributions are doubled by the employer, but this is binding to the place of work for at least 5-7 years under the terms of the contract. Also, since 2012, I have been participating in the state co-financing program.

In case of dismissal and the end of the co-financing program, most likely, I will save for the contribution. Later, perhaps, I will transfer from a deposit to a low-risk investment fund. I am still 35 years old to work until 65 ”.