General history processed by the satyricon to read. General history, processed by the Satyricon. Wars with the Turks
« General history, processed by "Satyricon" "- a popular humorous book published by the magazine "Satyricon" in 1910, in which world history is parodied.
| General history processed by "Satyricon" | |
|---|---|
| genre | satire |
| author | Teffi , Osip Dymov , Arkady Averchenko , O. L. D'Or |
| Original language | Russian |
| date of writing | 1909 |
| Date of first publication | 1910 |
| publishing house | St. Petersburg: M.G. Kornfeld |
The work consists of 4 sections:
Publication
For the first time, information about the upcoming edition of the humorous "General History" appeared in the 46th issue of the "Satyricon" for 1909:
“All annual subscribers will receive as a free supplement a sumptuously illustrated edition of THE GENERAL HISTORY, edited by the Satyricon from his point of view, ed. A. T. Averchenko. (Although our “General History” will not be recommended by the Scientific Committee, which is under the Ministry of National Education, as a guide for educational institutions, but this book will give subscribers the only opportunity to look at the historical past of peoples - in a completely new and completely original light). "GENERAL HISTORY" will be large volume, artistically printed on good paper, with a lot of illustrations by the best Russian cartoonists.
The book was published as an appendix, after which it was separately reprinted several times, as it was very popular.
Problems with the 4th part
Part "Russian History" ends with the Patriotic War of 1812, but this did not save her from problems with censorship.
The 1910 edition has 154 pages, as it came out without it, in 1911 a volume of 240 pages was published, including the missing part. The 1912 edition again turned out to be without the censored section.
Later, the 4th part still received a continuation - O. L. D'Or. "Nicholas II the Benevolent. The end of the "Russian History", published in 1912 by the "Satyricon" "(Petersburg, Typ.: "Literacy", 1917. 31 pages).
In 1922, the 4th part with an addition was published by the author as a separate book under the title: O. L. D'Or. "Russian history under the Varangians and Varyags". The appendix contains chapters on
General history processed by "Satyricon"
ANCIENT HISTORY
Foreword
What is history as such - there is no need to explain, since this should be known to everyone with mother's milk. But what is ancient history - a few words need to be said about this.
It is difficult to find a person in the world who, at least once in his life, in scientific terms, would not get involved in some kind of story. But no matter how long ago this happened to him, nevertheless, we have no right to call the incident that happened ancient history. For in the face of science everything has its own strict subdivision and classification.
Let's say in short:
a) ancient history is such a history that happened extremely long ago;
b) ancient history is the history that happened to the Romans, Greeks, Assyrians, Phoenicians and other peoples who spoke stillborn languages.
Everything that concerns ancient times and about which we know absolutely nothing is called the prehistoric period.
Scientists, although they know absolutely nothing about this period (because if they knew, it would have to be called historical), nevertheless, they divide it into three centuries:
1) stone, when people used bronze to make stone tools for themselves;
2) bronze, when bronze tools were made with the help of stone;
3) iron, when iron tools were made with the help of bronze and stone.
In general, inventions were then rare and people were slow to invent; therefore, they will invent a little something - now they also call their century by the name of the invention.
In our time, this is no longer conceivable, because every day the name of the century would have to be changed: the age of Piliuliar, the flat tire age, the Syndeticon age, etc., etc., which would immediately cause strife and international wars.
In those times, about which absolutely nothing is known, people lived in huts and ate each other; then, having strengthened and developed the brain, they began to eat the surrounding nature: animals, birds, fish and plants. Then, divided into families, they began to fence themselves with palisades, through which at first they quarreled for many centuries; then they began to fight, started a war, and thus a state arose, a state, a state life, on which further development citizenship and culture.
Ancient peoples are divided by skin color into black, white and yellow.
Whites, in turn, are divided into:
1) the Aryans, descended from Noah's son Japheth and named so that it was not immediately possible to guess who they came from;
2) Semites - or without the right of residence - and
3) Hamites, people who are not accepted in a decent society.
Usually history is always divided chronologically from such and such to such and such a period. It is impossible to do this with ancient history, because, firstly, no one knows anything about it, and secondly, the ancient peoples lived stupidly, wandered from one place to another, from one era to another, and all this without railways without order, reason or purpose. Therefore, scientists came up with the idea to consider the history of each nation separately. Otherwise, you will get so confused that you will not get out.
Egypt is located in Africa and has long been famous for its pyramids, sphinxes, the flooding of the Nile and Queen Cleopatra.
Pyramids are pyramid-shaped buildings that were erected by the pharaohs for their glorification. The pharaohs were caring people and did not trust even the closest people to dispose of their corpse at their discretion. And, barely out of infancy, the pharaoh was already looking after himself a secluded place and began to build a pyramid for his future ashes.
After death, the body of the pharaoh was gutted from the inside with great ceremonies and stuffed with aromas. Outside, they enclosed it in a painted case, put it all together in a sarcophagus and placed it inside the pyramid. From time to time, that small amount of pharaoh, which was enclosed between the fragrances and the case, dried up and turned into a hard membrane. This is how the ancient monarchs spent the people's money unproductively!
But fate is fair. In less than a few tens of thousands of years, the Egyptian population regained its prosperity by wholesale and retail trading in the mortal corpses of their overlords, and in many European museums one can see examples of these dried pharaohs, nicknamed mummies for their immobility. For a special fee, museum watchmen allow visitors to snap the mummy with their fingers.
Further, the ruins of temples serve as monuments of Egypt. Most of all, they were preserved on the site of ancient Thebes, nicknamed by the number of their twelve gates "hundred gates". Now, according to archaeologists, these gates have been converted into Arab villages. So sometimes the great turns into useful!
The monuments of Egypt are often covered with inscriptions that are extremely difficult to make out. Scientists therefore called them hieroglyphs.
The inhabitants of Egypt were divided into different castes. The priests belonged to the most important caste. It was very difficult to get into the priesthood. To do this, it was necessary to study geometry to the equality of triangles, including geography, which at that time embraced the space of the globe at least six hundred square miles.
The priests were up to their necks, because, in addition to geography, they also had to engage in worship, and since the Egyptians had an extremely large number of gods, it was sometimes difficult for a different priest to snatch at least an hour for geography in the whole day.
The Egyptians were not particularly choosy in giving divine honors. They deified the sun, the cow, the Nile, the bird, the dog, the moon, the cat, the wind, the hippopotamus, the earth, the mouse, the crocodile, the snake, and many other domestic and wild animals.
In view of this God-manyness, the most cautious and pious Egyptian every minute had to commit various blasphemy. Either he steps on a cat’s tail, or he clicks on a sacred dog, or he eats a holy fly in borscht. The people were nervous, dying out and degenerating.
Among the pharaohs there were many remarkable ones who glorified themselves with their monuments and autobiographies, not expecting this courtesy from their descendants.
Babylon, famous for its pandemonium, was nearby.
The main city of Assyria was Assur, named after the god Assur, who in turn received this name from the main city of Assu. Where is the end, where is the beginning - the ancient peoples, due to illiteracy, could not figure it out and did not leave any monuments that could help us in this bewilderment.
The Assyrian kings were very warlike and cruel. They struck their enemies most of all with their names, of which Assur-Tiglaf-Abu-Herib-Nazir-Nipal was the shortest and simplest. As a matter of fact, it was not even a name, but an abbreviated affectionate nickname, which was given to the young king by his mother for his small stature.
The custom of Assyrian christening was as follows: as soon as the king gave birth to a male, female or other baby, immediately a specially trained clerk sat down and, taking wedges in his hands, began to write the name of the newborn on clay slabs. When, exhausted by labor, the clerk fell dead, he was replaced by another, and so on until the baby reached adulthood. By this time, his entire name was considered to be fully and correctly spelled to the end.
These kings were very cruel. Loudly calling out their name, before they conquered the country, they had already seated its inhabitants on stakes.
According to the surviving images, modern scholars see that the Assyrians had a very high hairdressing art, since all the kings had beards curled with even, neat curls.
What is history as such - there is no need to explain, since this should be known to everyone with mother's milk. But what is ancient history - a few words need to be said about this.
It is difficult to find a person in the world who, at least once in his life, in scientific terms, would not get involved in some kind of story. But no matter how long ago this happened to him, nevertheless, we have no right to call the incident that happened ancient history. For in the face of science everything has its own strict subdivision and classification.
Let's say in short:
a) ancient history is such a history that happened extremely long ago;
b) ancient history is the history that happened to the Romans, Greeks, Assyrians, Phoenicians and other peoples who spoke stillborn languages.
Everything that concerns ancient times and about which we know absolutely nothing is called the prehistoric period.
Scientists, although they know absolutely nothing about this period (because if they knew, it would have to be called historical), nevertheless, they divide it into three centuries:
1) stone, when people used bronze to make stone tools for themselves;
2) bronze, when bronze tools were made with the help of stone;
3) iron, when iron tools were made with the help of bronze and stone.
In general, inventions were then rare and people were slow to invent; therefore, they will invent a little something - now they also call their century by the name of the invention.
In our time, this is no longer conceivable, because every day the name of the century would have to be changed: the age of Piliuliar, the flat tire age, the Syndeticon age, etc., etc., which would immediately cause strife and international wars.
In those times, about which absolutely nothing is known, people lived in huts and ate each other; then, having strengthened and developed the brain, they began to eat the surrounding nature: animals, birds, fish and plants. Then, divided into families, they began to fence themselves with palisades, through which at first they quarreled for many centuries; then they began to fight, started a war, and thus a state, a state, a state life arose, on which the further development of citizenship and culture is based.
Ancient peoples are divided by skin color into black, white and yellow.
Whites, in turn, are divided into:
1) the Aryans, descended from Noah's son Japheth and named so that it was not immediately possible to guess who they came from;
2) Semites - or without the right of residence - and
3) Hamites, people who are not accepted in a decent society.
Usually history is always divided chronologically from such and such to such and such a period. You can’t do this with ancient history, because, firstly, no one knows anything about it, and secondly, the ancient peoples lived stupidly, dangled from one place to another, from one era to another, and all this without railways without order, reason or purpose. Therefore, scientists came up with the idea to consider the history of each nation separately. Otherwise, you will get so confused that you will not get out.
Egypt is located in Africa and has long been famous for its pyramids, sphinxes, the flooding of the Nile and Queen Cleopatra.
Pyramids are pyramid-shaped buildings that were erected by the pharaohs for their glorification. The pharaohs were caring people and did not trust even the closest people to dispose of their corpse at their discretion. And, barely out of infancy, the pharaoh was already looking after himself a secluded place and began to build a pyramid for his future ashes.
After death, the body of the pharaoh was gutted from the inside with great ceremonies and stuffed with aromas. Outside, they enclosed it in a painted case, put it all together in a sarcophagus and placed it inside the pyramid. From time to time, that small amount of pharaoh, which was enclosed between the fragrances and the case, dried up and turned into a hard membrane. This is how the ancient monarchs spent the people's money unproductively!
But fate is fair. In less than a few tens of thousands of years, the Egyptian population regained its prosperity by wholesale and retail trading in the mortal corpses of their overlords, and in many European museums one can see examples of these dried pharaohs, nicknamed mummies for their immobility. For a special fee, museum watchmen allow visitors to snap the mummy with their fingers.
Further, the ruins of temples serve as monuments of Egypt. Most of all, they were preserved on the site of ancient Thebes, nicknamed by the number of their twelve gates "hundred gates". Now, according to archaeologists, these gates have been converted into Arab villages. So sometimes the great turns into useful!
The monuments of Egypt are often covered with inscriptions that are extremely difficult to make out. Scientists therefore called them hieroglyphs.
The inhabitants of Egypt were divided into different castes. The priests belonged to the most important caste. It was very difficult to get into the priesthood. To do this, it was necessary to study geometry to the equality of triangles, including geography, which at that time embraced the space of the globe at least six hundred square miles.
The priests were up to their necks, because, in addition to geography, they also had to engage in worship, and since the Egyptians had an extremely large number of gods, it was sometimes difficult for a different priest to snatch at least an hour for geography in the whole day.
The Egyptians were not particularly choosy in giving divine honors. They deified the sun, the cow, the Nile, the bird, the dog, the moon, the cat, the wind, the hippopotamus, the earth, the mouse, the crocodile, the snake, and many other domestic and wild animals.
In view of this God-manyness, the most cautious and pious Egyptian every minute had to commit various blasphemy. Either he steps on a cat’s tail, or he clicks on a sacred dog, or he eats a holy fly in borscht. The people were nervous, dying out and degenerating.
Among the pharaohs there were many remarkable ones who glorified themselves with their monuments and autobiographies, not expecting this courtesy from their descendants.
Babylon, famous for its pandemonium, was nearby.
The main city of Assyria was Assur, named after the god Assur, who in turn received this name from the main city of Assu. Where is the end, where is the beginning - the ancient peoples, due to illiteracy, could not figure it out and did not leave any monuments that could help us in this bewilderment.
The Assyrian kings were very warlike and cruel. They struck their enemies most of all with their names, of which Assur-Tiglaf-Abu-Herib-Nazir-Nipal was the shortest and simplest. As a matter of fact, it was not even a name, but an abbreviated affectionate nickname, which was given to the young king by his mother for his small stature.
The custom of Assyrian christening was as follows: as soon as the king gave birth to a male, female or other baby, immediately a specially trained clerk sat down and, taking wedges in his hands, began to write the name of the newborn on clay slabs. When, exhausted by labor, the clerk fell dead, he was replaced by another, and so on until the baby reached adulthood. By this time, his entire name was considered to be fully and correctly spelled to the end.
These kings were very cruel. Loudly calling out their name, before they conquered the country, they had already seated its inhabitants on stakes.
According to the surviving images, modern scholars see that the Assyrians had a very high hairdressing art, since all the kings had beards curled with even, neat curls.
Foreword
What is history as such - there is no need to explain, since this should be known to everyone with mother's milk. But what is ancient history - a few words need to be said about this.
It is difficult to find a person in the world who, at least once in his life, in scientific terms, would not get involved in some kind of story. But no matter how long ago this happened to him, nevertheless, we have no right to call the incident that happened ancient history. For in the face of science everything has its own strict subdivision and classification.
Let's say in short:
a) ancient history is such a history that happened extremely long ago;
b) ancient history is the history that happened to the Romans, Greeks, Assyrians, Phoenicians and other peoples who spoke stillborn languages.
Everything that concerns ancient times and about which we know absolutely nothing is called the prehistoric period.
Scientists, although they know absolutely nothing about this period (because if they knew, it would have to be called historical), nevertheless, they divide it into three centuries:
1) stone, when people used bronze to make stone tools for themselves;
2) bronze, when bronze tools were made with the help of stone;
3) iron, when iron tools were made with the help of bronze and stone.
In general, inventions were then rare and people were slow to invent; therefore, they will invent a little something - now they also call their century by the name of the invention.
In our time, this is no longer conceivable, because every day the name of the century would have to be changed: the age of Piliuliar, the flat tire age, the Syndeticon age, etc., etc., which would immediately cause strife and international wars.
In those times, about which absolutely nothing is known, people lived in huts and ate each other; then, having strengthened and developed the brain, they began to eat the surrounding nature: animals, birds, fish and plants. Then, divided into families, they began to fence themselves with palisades, through which at first they quarreled for many centuries; then they began to fight, started a war, and thus a state, a state, a state life arose, on which the further development of citizenship and culture is based.
Ancient peoples are divided by skin color into black, white and yellow.
Whites, in turn, are divided into:
1) the Aryans, descended from Noah's son Japheth and named so that it was not immediately possible to guess who they came from;
2) Semites - or without the right of residence - and
3) Hamites, people who are not accepted in a decent society.
Usually history is always divided chronologically from such and such to such and such a period. You can’t do this with ancient history, because, firstly, no one knows anything about it, and secondly, the ancient peoples lived stupidly, dangled from one place to another, from one era to another, and all this without railways without order, reason or purpose. Therefore, scientists came up with the idea to consider the history of each nation separately. Otherwise, you will get so confused that you will not get out.
East
Egypt
Egypt is located in Africa and has long been famous for its pyramids, sphinxes, the flooding of the Nile and Queen Cleopatra.
Pyramids are pyramid-shaped buildings that were erected by the pharaohs for their glorification. The pharaohs were caring people and did not trust even the closest people to dispose of their corpse at their discretion. And, barely out of infancy, the pharaoh was already looking after himself a secluded place and began to build a pyramid for his future ashes.
After death, the body of the pharaoh was gutted from the inside with great ceremonies and stuffed with aromas. Outside, they enclosed it in a painted case, put it all together in a sarcophagus and placed it inside the pyramid. From time to time, that small amount of pharaoh, which was enclosed between the fragrances and the case, dried up and turned into a hard membrane. This is how the ancient monarchs spent the people's money unproductively!
But fate is fair. In less than a few tens of thousands of years, the Egyptian population regained its prosperity by wholesale and retail trading in the mortal corpses of their overlords, and in many European museums one can see examples of these dried pharaohs, nicknamed mummies for their immobility. For a special fee, museum watchmen allow visitors to snap the mummy with their fingers.
Further, the ruins of temples serve as monuments of Egypt. Most of all, they were preserved on the site of ancient Thebes, nicknamed by the number of their twelve gates "hundred gates". Now, according to archaeologists, these gates have been converted into Arab villages. So sometimes the great turns into useful!
The monuments of Egypt are often covered with inscriptions that are extremely difficult to make out. Scientists therefore called them hieroglyphs.
The inhabitants of Egypt were divided into different castes. The priests belonged to the most important caste. It was very difficult to get into the priesthood. To do this, it was necessary to study geometry to the equality of triangles, including geography, which at that time embraced the space of the globe at least six hundred square miles.
The priests were up to their necks, because, in addition to geography, they also had to engage in worship, and since the Egyptians had an extremely large number of gods, it was sometimes difficult for a different priest to snatch at least an hour for geography in the whole day.
The Egyptians were not particularly choosy in giving divine honors. They deified the sun, the cow, the Nile, the bird, the dog, the moon, the cat, the wind, the hippopotamus, the earth, the mouse, the crocodile, the snake, and many other domestic and wild animals.
Foreword
What is history as such - there is no need to explain, since this should be known to everyone with mother's milk. But what is ancient history - a few words need to be said about this.
It is difficult to find a person in the world who, at least once in his life, in scientific terms, would not get involved in some kind of story. But no matter how long ago this happened to him, nevertheless, we have no right to call the incident that happened ancient history. For in the face of science everything has its own strict subdivision and classification.
Let's say in short:
a) ancient history is such a history that happened extremely long ago;
b) ancient history is the history that happened to the Romans, Greeks, Assyrians, Phoenicians and other peoples who spoke stillborn languages.
Everything that concerns ancient times and about which we know absolutely nothing is called the prehistoric period.
Scientists, although they know absolutely nothing about this period (because if they knew, it would have to be called historical), nevertheless, they divide it into three centuries:
1) stone, when people used bronze to make stone tools for themselves;
2) bronze, when bronze tools were made with the help of stone;
3) iron, when iron tools were made with the help of bronze and stone.
In general, inventions were then rare and people were slow to invent; therefore, they invent a little something - now they also call their century by the name of the invention.
In our time, this is no longer conceivable, because every day the name of the century would have to be changed: the age of Piliuliar, the flat tire age, the Syndeticon age, etc., etc., which would immediately cause strife and international wars.
In those times, about which absolutely nothing is known, people lived in huts and ate each other; then, having strengthened and developed the brain, they began to eat the surrounding nature: animals, birds, fish and plants. Then, divided into families, they began to fence themselves with palisades, through which at first they quarreled for many centuries; then they began to fight, started a war, and thus a state, a state, a state life arose, on which the further development of citizenship and culture is based.
Ancient peoples are divided by skin color into black, white and yellow.
Whites, in turn, are divided into:
1) the Aryans, descended from Noah's son Japheth and named so that it was not immediately possible to guess who they came from;
2) Semites - or without the right of residence - and
3) Hamites, people in a decent society not accepted
Usually history is always divided chronologically from such and such to such and such a period. It is impossible to do this with ancient history, because, firstly, no one knows anything about it, and secondly, the ancient peoples lived stupidly, wandered from one place to another, from one era to another, and all this without railways, without order, cause and purpose. Therefore, scientists came up with the idea to consider the history of each nation separately. Otherwise, you will get so confused that you will not get out.
Egypt is located in Africa and has long been famous for its pyramids, sphinxes, the flooding of the Nile and Queen Cleopatra.
Pyramids are pyramid-shaped buildings that were erected by the pharaohs for their glorification. The pharaohs were caring people and did not trust even the closest people to dispose of their corpse at their discretion. And, barely out of infancy, the pharaoh was already looking after himself a secluded place and began to build a pyramid for his future ashes.
After death, the body of the pharaoh was gutted from the inside with great ceremonies and stuffed with aromas. Outside, they enclosed it in a painted case, put it all together in a sarcophagus and placed it inside the pyramid. From time to time, that small amount of pharaoh, which was enclosed between the fragrances and the case, dried up and turned into a hard membrane. This is how the ancient monarchs spent the people's money unproductively!
But fate is fair. In less than a few tens of thousands of years, the Egyptian population regained its prosperity by wholesale and retail trading in the mortal corpses of their overlords, and in many European museums one can see examples of these dried pharaohs, nicknamed mummies for their immobility. For a special fee, museum watchmen allow visitors to snap the mummy with their fingers.
Further, the ruins of temples serve as monuments of Egypt. Most of all, they were preserved on the site of ancient Thebes, nicknamed by the number of their twelve gates "hundred gates". Now, according to archaeologists, these gates have been converted into Arab villages. So sometimes the great turns into useful!
The monuments of Egypt are often covered with inscriptions that are extremely difficult to make out. Scientists therefore called them hieroglyphs.
The inhabitants of Egypt were divided into different castes. The priests belonged to the most important caste. It was very difficult to get into the priesthood. To do this, it was necessary to study geometry to the equality of triangles, including geography, which at that time embraced the space of the globe at least six hundred square miles.
The priests were up to their necks, because, in addition to geography, they also had to engage in worship, and since the Egyptians had an extremely large number of gods, it was sometimes difficult for a different priest to snatch at least an hour for geography in the whole day.
The Egyptians were not particularly choosy in giving divine honors. They deified the sun, the cow, the Nile, the bird, the dog, the moon, the cat, the wind, the hippopotamus, the earth, the mouse, the crocodile, the snake, and many other domestic and wild animals.
In view of this God-manyness, the most cautious and pious Egyptian every minute had to commit various blasphemy. Either he steps on a cat’s tail, or he clicks on a sacred dog, or he eats a holy fly in borscht. The people were nervous, dying out and degenerating.
Among the pharaohs there were many remarkable ones who glorified themselves with their monuments and autobiographies, not expecting this courtesy from their descendants.
Babylon, famous for its pandemonium, was nearby.
The main city of Assyria was Assur, named after the god Assur, who in turn received this name from the main city of Assu. Where is the end, where is the beginning - the ancient peoples, due to illiteracy, could not figure it out and did not leave any monuments that could help us in this bewilderment.
The Assyrian kings were very warlike and cruel. They struck their enemies most of all with their names, of which Assur Tiglaf Abu Herib Nazir Nipal was the shortest and simplest. As a matter of fact, it was not even a name, but an abbreviated affectionate nickname, which was given to the young king by his mother for his small stature.
The custom of Assyrian christening was as follows: as soon as the king gave birth to a male, female or other baby, immediately a specially trained clerk sat down and, taking wedges in his hands, began to write the name of the newborn on clay slabs. When, exhausted by labor, the clerk fell dead, he was replaced by another, and so on until the baby reached adulthood. By this time, his entire name was considered to be fully and correctly spelled to the end.
These kings were very cruel. Loudly calling out their name, before they conquered the country, they had already seated its inhabitants on stakes.
According to the surviving images, modern scholars see that the Assyrians had a very high hairdressing art, since all the kings had beards curled with even, neat curls.
If we take this issue even more seriously, then we can be even more surprised, since it is clear that in Assyrian times, not only people, but also lions did not neglect hairdressing tongs. For the Assyrians depict beasts always with the same manes and tails curled into curls, like the beards of their kings.
Indeed, the study of samples of ancient culture can bring significant benefits not only to people, but also to animals.
The last Assyrian king is, in short, Ashur Adonai Aban Nipal. When the Medes besieged his capital, the cunning Ashur ordered a fire to be made in the square of his palace; then, laying all his property on him, he climbed upstairs himself with all the wives and, having secured himself, burned to the ground.
The frustrated enemies hurried to surrender.
Iran was inhabited by peoples whose names ended in "Yana": the Bactrians and the Medes, except for the Persians, who ended in "sy".
The Bactrians and the Medes quickly lost their courage and indulged in effeminacy, and the Persian king Astyages had a grandson, Cyrus, who founded the Persian monarchy.
Herodotus tells a touching legend about the youth of Cyrus.
One day Astyages dreamed that a tree grew out of his daughter. Struck by the indecency of this dream, Astyages ordered the magicians to unravel it. The magicians said that the son of the daughter of Astyages would reign over the whole of Asia. Astyages was very upset, because he wanted a more modest fate for his grandson.
- And through the gold tears flow! - he said and instructed his courtier to strangle the baby.
The courtier, who was up to his own business, entrusted this business to a shepherd friend. The shepherd, due to ignorance and negligence, mixed everything up and, instead of strangling, began to raise the child.
When the child grew up and began to play with his peers, he once ordered the son of a nobleman to be whipped. The nobleman complained to Astyages. Astyages became interested in the broad nature of the child. After talking with him and examining the victim, he exclaimed:
It's Kir! Only in our family they know how to flog like that.
And Cyrus fell into the arms of his grandfather.
Having entered the age, Cyrus defeated the king of the Lydian Croesus and began to fry him at the stake. But during this procedure, Croesus suddenly exclaimed:
- Oh, Solon, Solon, Solon!
This greatly surprised the wise Cyrus.
“Such words,” he confessed to his friends, “I have never heard from those roasting.
He beckoned Croesus to him and began to ask what it meant.
Then Croesus spoke. that he was visited by the Greek sage Solon. Wanting to throw dust in the sage's eyes, Croesus showed him his treasures and, to tease, asked Solon whom he considered the most happy man in the world.
If Solon were a gentleman, he would, of course, say "you, your majesty." But the sage was a simple-minded man, one of the narrow-minded, and blurted out that "before death, no one can say to himself that he is happy."
Since Croesus was a king developed beyond his years, he immediately realized that after death people rarely talk at all, so that even then they would not have to boast of their happiness, and he was very offended by Solon.
This story greatly shocked the faint-hearted Cyrus. He apologized to Croesus and did not roast him.
After Cyrus, his son Cambyses reigned. Cambyses went to fight the Ethiopians, went into the desert, and there, suffering greatly from hunger, little by little he ate his entire army. Realizing the difficulty of such a system, he hastened to return to Memphis. There at that time they celebrated the opening of the new Apis.
At the sight of this healthy, well-fed bull, the king, emaciated on human flesh, rushed at him and pinned him with his own hand, and at the same time his brother Smerdiz, who was spinning under his feet.
One clever magician took advantage of this and, declaring himself False Smerdiz, immediately began to reign. Persians rejoiced:
- Long live our king False Smerdiz! they shouted.
At this time, King Cambyses, completely obsessed with beef, died from a wound that he inflicted on himself, wanting to taste his own meat.
Thus died that wisest of the Eastern despots.
After Cambyses, Darius Hystaspes reigned, who became famous for his campaign against the Scythians.
The Scythians were very brave and cruel. after the battle, feasts were held, during which they drank and ate from the skulls of freshly killed enemies.
Those of the warriors who did not kill a single enemy could not take part in the feast for lack of their dishes and watched the celebration from afar, tormented by hunger and remorse.
Upon learning of the approach of Darius Hystaspes, the Scythians sent him a frog, a bird, a mouse and an arrow.
With these unpretentious gifts, they thought to soften the heart of a formidable enemy.
But things took a completely different turn.
One of the warriors of Darius Hystaspes, who was very tired of hanging out behind his master in foreign lands, undertook to interpret the true meaning of the Scythian message.
“It means that unless you Persians fly like birds, gnaw like a mouse, and jump like a frog, you will never return to your home.”
Darius could neither fly nor jump. He was scared to death and ordered to turn the shafts.
Darius Hystaspes became famous not only for this campaign, but also for his equally wise government, which he led with the same success as military enterprises.
The ancient Persians were initially distinguished by their courage and simplicity of manners. Their sons were taught three subjects:
1) to ride;
2) to shoot from a bow and
3) tell the truth.
A young man who did not pass the exam in all these three subjects was considered an ignoramus and was not accepted into the civil service.
But little by little the Persians began to indulge in a pampered way of life. They stopped riding, forgot how to shoot from a bow, and, while idly spending time, they cut the truth of the uterus. As a result, the huge Persian state began to rapidly decline.
Previously, Persian youths ate only bread and vegetables. Corrupted, they demanded soup (330 BC). Alexander the Great took advantage of this and conquered Persia.
Greece occupies the southern part of the Balkan Peninsula.
Nature itself divided Greece into four parts:
1) northern, which is located in the north;
2) western - in the west;
3) eastern - not east and, finally,
4) southern, occupying the south of the peninsula.
This original division of Greece has long attracted the eyes of the entire cultural part of the world's population.
In Greece lived the so-called "Greeks".
They spoke in a dead language and indulged in writing myths about gods and heroes.
The favorite hero of the Greeks was Hercules, who became famous for cleaning the Augean stables and thus giving the Greeks an unforgettable example of cleanliness. In addition, this neat man killed his wife and children.
The second favorite hero of the Greeks was Oedipus, who out of absent-mindedness killed his father and married his mother. As a result, a pestilence spread throughout the country and everything was exposed. Oedipus had to gouge out his own eyes and travel with Antigone.
In southern Greece, the myth of the Trojan War, or "Beautiful Helena" was created in three acts with music by Offenbach.
It was like this: King Menelaus (comedian buff) had a wife, nicknamed for her beauty and because she wore a dress with a slit, Beautiful Helen. She was kidnapped by Paris, which Menelaus did not like very much. Then the Trojan War began.
The war was terrible. Menelaus turned out to be completely without a voice, and all the other heroes lied mercilessly.
Nevertheless, this war remained in the memory of grateful mankind; for example, the phrase of the priest Calchas: "Too many flowers" is still quoted by many feuilletonists, not without success.
The war ended thanks to the intervention of the cunning Odysseus. To enable the soldiers to get into Troy, Odysseus made a wooden horse and put the soldiers on it, and he left. The Trojans, tired of a long siege, were not averse to playing with a wooden horse, for which they paid. In the midst of the game, the Greeks got out of the horse and conquered the careless enemies.
After the destruction of Troy, the Greek heroes returned home, but not to their own delight. It turned out that during this time their wives chose new heroes for themselves and betrayed their husbands, whom they killed immediately after the first handshakes.
The cunning Odysseus, foreseeing all this, did not return directly home, but made a small detour at the age of ten in order to give his wife Penelope time to prepare for a meeting with him.
Faithful Penelope was waiting for him, whiled away the time with her suitors.
The suitors really wanted to marry her, but she reasoned that it was much more fun to have thirty suitors than one husband, and cheated the unfortunate, delaying the wedding day. During the day Penelope weaved, at night she flogged what was woven, and at the same time her son Telemachus. This story ended tragically: Odysseus returned.
The Iliad shows us the military side of Greek life. "Odyssey" draws everyday pictures and social customs.
Both of these poems are considered to be the works of the blind singer Homer, whose name was so highly respected in antiquity that seven cities disputed the honor of being his homeland. What a difference with the fate of our contemporary poets, who are often not averse to abandoning their own parents!
Based on the Iliad and the Odyssey, we can say the following about heroic Greece.
The population of Greece was divided into:
2) warriors and
Each performed its function.
The king reigned, the soldiers fought, and the people expressed their approval or disapproval of the first two categories with a “mixed rumble”.
The king, usually a poor man, descended from the gods (poor consolation with an empty treasury) and supported his existence with more or less voluntary gifts.
The noble men surrounding the king also produced their kind from the gods, but to a more distant degree, so to speak, the seventh water on jelly.
In the war, these noble men came out ahead of the rest of the army and were distinguished by the splendor of their weapons. A helmet covered them from above, a shell in the middle and a shield on all sides. Dressed in this way, the noble husband rode into battle in a twin chariot with a coachman - calmly and comfortably, like in a tram.
Everyone fought scattered, each for himself, therefore, even the defeated could talk a lot and eloquently about their military exploits, which no one had seen.
In addition to the king, warriors and people, there were also slaves in Greece, consisting of former kings, former warriors and former people.
The position of a woman among the Greeks was enviable compared with her position among the Eastern peoples.
On the Greek woman lay all the cares of the household, spinning, weaving, washing linen and various other housekeeping chores, while Eastern women were forced to spend their time in idleness and harem pleasures among tiresome luxury.
The religion of the Greeks was political, and the gods were in constant communication with people, and in many families they visited often and quite easily. Sometimes the gods behaved frivolously and even indecently, plunging the people who invented them into woeful bewilderment.
In one of the ancient Greek prayer chants that have survived to this day, we clearly hear a mournful note:
Really, the gods
It makes you happy
When our honor
Somersault, somersault
Will it fly?!
The concept of the afterlife was very vague among the Greeks. The shadows of sinners were sent to the gloomy Tartarus (in Russian - to tartarars). The righteous blissed in Elysium, but so meagerly that Achilles, who was knowledgeable in these matters, frankly admitted: “It is better to be on earth a day laborer of the poor than to reign over all the shadows of the dead.” A reasoning that struck the whole ancient world with its commercialism.
The Greeks learned their future through oracles. The most revered oracle was in Delphi. Here the priestess, the so-called Pythia, sat down on the so-called tripod (not to be confused with the statue of Memnon), and, having gone into a frenzy, uttered incoherent words.
The Greeks, spoiled by fluent speech with hexameters, flocked from all over Greece to listen to incoherent words and reinterpret them in their own way.
The Greeks were judged in the Amphictyonic Court.
The court met twice a year; the spring session was at Delphi, the autumn session at Thermopylae.
Each community sent two jurors to the court. These jurors came up with a very tricky oath. Instead of promising to judge according to their conscience, not to take bribes, not to distort their souls and not to shield their relatives, they took the following oath: “I swear never to destroy the cities belonging to the Amphiktionov union, and never to deprive it of flowing water, either in peacetime or in war time".
Only and everything!
But it shows what superhuman strength the ancient Greek juror possessed. It didn't cost any of them even the most overwhelmed of them to destroy the city or stop the flowing water. Therefore, it is clear that the cautious Greeks did not pester them with oaths of bribes and other nonsense, but tried to neutralize these animals in the most important way.
The Greeks kept their chronology according to the most important events of their social life, that is, according to the Olympic Games. These games consisted in the fact that the ancient Greek youths competed in strength and dexterity. Everything went like clockwork, but then Herodotus started to read aloud passages from his history during the competition. This act had its due effect; the athletes relaxed, the public, hitherto rushing to the Olympics like crazy, refused to go there even for the money generously promised to them by the ambitious Herodotus. The games stopped by themselves.
Laconia constituted the southeastern part of the Peloponnese and got its name from the way the inhabitants there expressed themselves succinctly.
It was hot in Laconia in summer, cold in winter. This climate system, unusual for other countries, according to historians, contributed to the development of cruelty and energy in the character of the inhabitants.
The main city of Laconia was called Sparta for no reason.
Sparta had a moat filled with water so that the inhabitants could practice throwing each other into the water. The city itself was not surrounded by walls and: the courage of the citizens had to serve as its protection. This, of course, cost the local fathers of the city less than the worst palisade. The Spartans, cunning by nature, arranged it so that they always had two kings at the same time. The kings squabbled among themselves, leaving the people alone. The legislator Lycurgus put an end to this bacchanalia.
Lycurgus was of royal family and took care of his nephew.
At the same time, he constantly poked everyone in the eye with his justice. When the patience of those around him finally burst, Lycurgus was advised to go traveling. It was thought that the journey would develop Lycurgus and somehow affect his justice.
But, as they say, it's sickening together, but boring apart. Before Lycurgus had time to freshen up in the company of Egyptian priests, his compatriots demanded his return. Lycurgus returned and approved his laws in Sparta.
After that, fearing too warm gratitude from the expansive people, he hastened to starve himself to death.
Why leave to others what you can do yourself! were his last words.
The Spartans, seeing that bribes were smooth from him, began to pay divine honors to his memory.
The population of Sparta was divided into three estates: Spartans, perieks and helots.
The Spartans were local aristocrats, did gymnastics, went naked and generally set the tone.
Periakami gymnastics was banned. Instead, they paid taxes.
The helots, or, in the words of the local wits, the "under-Ek" had the worst of all. They cultivated the fields, went to war and often rebelled against their masters. The latter, in order to win them over to their side, came up with the so-called cryptia, that is, simply, at a certain hour, they killed all the helots they met. This remedy quickly forced the helots to come to their senses and live in complete contentment.
The Spartan kings enjoyed great respect but little credit. The people believed them only for a month, then forced them to swear allegiance to the laws of the republic again.
Since there were always two kings in Sparta and there was also a republic, all this together was called an aristocratic republic.
According to the laws of this republic, the Spartans were prescribed the most modest way of life according to their concepts. For example, men were not allowed to dine at home; they gathered in a merry company in the so-called restaurants - a custom observed by many people of an aristocratic fold in our time as a relic of hoary antiquity.
Their favorite food was black stew, prepared from pork broth, blood, vinegar and salt. This stew, as a historical memory of a glorious past, is still cooked in our Greek kitchens, where it is known as “brandakhlysta”.
In clothing, the Spartans were also very modest and simple. Only before the battle did they dress up in a more complex toilet, consisting of a wreath on their heads and a flute in their right hand. At the usual time, they denied themselves this.
Parenting
The upbringing of the children was very harsh. Most of the time they were killed immediately. This made them courageous and persistent.
They received the most thorough education: they were taught not to scream during the spanking. At the age of twenty, a Spartiate passed an exam in this subject for a matriculation certificate. At thirty he became a spouse, at sixty he was relieved of this duty.
Spartan girls were engaged in gymnastics and were so famous for their modesty and virtue that rich people everywhere tried to vied with each other to get a Spartan girl as a wet nurse for their children.
Modesty and respect for elders was the first duty of young people.
The most indecent of a Spartan young man was his hands. If he was wearing a cloak, he hid his hands under the cloak. If he was naked, then he thrust them anywhere: under a bench, under a bush, under an interlocutor, or, finally, he sat on them himself (900 BC).
From childhood, they were taught to speak laconically, that is, briefly and strongly. To a long ornate curse of the enemy, the Spartan only answered: "I hear from a fool."
A woman in Sparta was respected, and she was occasionally allowed to also speak succinctly, which she used when raising children and ordering dinner for the cook and the lot. So, one Spartan woman, giving the shield to her son, said laconically: "With him or on him." And the other, giving the cook a rooster for roasting, said succinctly: “If you overcook it, I’ll blow it.”
As a lofty example of the masculinity of a Spartan woman, the following story is given.
Once a woman named Lena, who knew about the illegal conspiracy, so as not to accidentally give out the name of the conspirators, bit off her tongue and, spitting it out, said succinctly:
Gracious sovereigns and gracious sovereigns! I, the undersigned Spartan woman, have the honor to tell you that if you think that we Spartan women are capable of low deeds, such as:
a) denunciations
b) gossip
c) the extradition of his accomplices and
d) slander
then you are very mistaken and you will not expect anything like this from me. And let the wanderer tell Sparta that I spat out my tongue here, faithful to the laws of gymnastics of my fatherland.
The stunned enemies inserted another "e" into Lena, and she became Leena, which means "lioness".
Decline of Sparta
Constant bathing and laconic conversation greatly weakened the mental abilities of the Spartans, and they lagged far behind in development from other Greeks, who, for their love of gymnastics and sports, called them "Sportans".
The Spartans were at war with the Messenians and once got so scared that they sent for help to the Athenians. Those, instead of military tools, sent them to help the poet Tirteus, charged with his own poems. Hearing his recitation, the enemies trembled and fled. The Spartans took possession of Messenia and brought hegemony to themselves.
The second famous republic was Athens, ending at Cape Sunius.
Rich deposits of marble, suitable for monuments, naturally gave rise to glorious men and heroes in Athens.
All the grief of Athens - a highly aristocratic republic - was that. that its inhabitants were divided into phyla, dimas, phratries and subdivided into paraliai, pediacs and diacarii. In addition, they were also divided into eupatrides, geomars, demiurges and various trifles.
All this caused constant unrest and unrest among the people, which were used by the tops of society, divided into archons, eponyms, basileus, polemarchs and tesmotetes, and oppressed the people.
One wealthy Eupatride, Pilon, tried to settle the matter. But the Athenian people were so distrustful of his undertakings that Pilon, following the example of other Greek legislators, hastened to travel.
Solon, a poor man who was engaged in trade, gained experience in traveling and therefore, without fear of bad consequences for himself, he decided to benefit the country by writing strong laws for it.
In order to earn the trust of the citizens, he pretended to be crazy and began to write poems about the island of Salamis, which was not customary to talk about in decent Greek society, since this island was conquered by Megara with great embarrassment for the Athenians.
Solon's reception was successful, and he was entrusted with the drafting of laws, which he took advantage of very widely, subdividing the inhabitants, among other things, into pentacoziomedimnes, zeogites and tetes (famous for the fact that “luxurious diamonds worth four rubles are sold for one ruble only one more week").
Solon also paid serious attention to family life. He forbade the bride to bring her husband more than three dresses as a dowry, but he demanded modesty from the woman already in unlimited quantities.
Athenian youths up to the age of sixteen were brought up at home, and entering mature age, engaged in gymnastics and mental education, which was so easy and pleasant that it was even called music.
In addition to the above, Athenian citizens were charged with a strict duty to honor their parents; when a citizen was elected to any high state position, the law ordered that a preliminary inquiry be made whether he honors his parents and whether he scolds them, and if he scolds them, then with what words.
A person who applied for the rank of an ancient Greek state councilor had to straighten out a certificate of respect for his aunts and sisters-in-law. This gave rise to a lot of inconvenience and difficulties for the plans of an ambitious person. Quite often a person was forced to refuse the ministerial portfolio due to the whim of some old uncle who sells rotten Turkish delight in the market. He will show that he was not respected enough, and the whole career is kaput.
In addition, the higher authorities had to constantly inquire about what the citizens were doing and punish the idle people. It often happened that half the city sat without a sweet dish. The cries of the unfortunate were beyond description.
Pisistratus and Cleisthenes
Having approved his laws, Solon was not slow to travel.
His relative, the local aristocrat Pizistratus, took advantage of his absence, and began to tyrannize Athens with his eloquence.
Returning Solon vainly persuaded him to change his mind. Ruined Pizistratus did not listen to any arguments and did his job.
First of all, he founded the temple of Zeus in Lombardy and died without paying interest.
After him, his sons Hippias and Hipparchus, named after familiar horses (526 BC), inherited power. But they were soon partly killed, partly expelled from the fatherland.
Then Cleisthenes, the head of the people's party, came forward and earned the trust of the citizens, dividing them into ten phyla (instead of the previous four!) And each phylum into dimas. Peace and tranquility did not take long to reign in the country, tormented by unrest.
In addition, Cleisthenes came up with a way to get rid of unpleasant citizens through secret voting, or ostracism. So that the grateful people do not have time to try this nice innovation on their own back, the wise legislator went to travel.
Constantly dividing into phyla, dima and phratia, Athens quickly weakened, as Sparta weakened, without dividing exactly in any way.
"Wherever you throw it - everything is a wedge!" historians sighed.
Rest of Greece
Secondary Greek states followed the same path.
Monarchies were gradually replaced by more or less aristocratic republics. But the tyrants also did not yawn and from time to time seized the supreme power in their hands and, diverting the attention of the people from themselves with the construction of public buildings, strengthened their position, and then, having lost the latter, set off to travel.
Sparta soon realized its inconvenience of having two kings at the same time. During the war, the kings, wanting to curry favor, both went to the battlefield. and if at the same time they were both killed, then the people had to be taken again for unrest and civil strife, choosing a new couple.
If only one king went to war, then the second took the opportunity to smoke out his brother completely and take over Sparta completely.
It was something to lose your head.
The need for legislators to travel after the approval of each new law has greatly revitalized Greece.
Entire crowds of legislators visited one or the other neighboring country, arranging something like our contemporary excursions of rural teachers.
The surrounding countries went to meet legislative needs. They issued discounted circular tickets (Rundreise), made discounts at hotels. The United Boat Company Memphis and Mercury, a limited liability company, took tourists for nothing and only asked them not to make a fuss or make new laws on the way.
Thus, the Greeks got acquainted with neighboring areas and arranged colonies for themselves.
Polycrates and fish pieces
On the island of Samos, the tyrant Polycrates became famous, who was tormented by sea fish. Whatever rubbish Polycrates threw into the sea, the fish immediately pulled it out in their own bellies.
Once he threw a large gold coin into the water. The next morning he was served fried salmon for breakfast. The tyrant cut it greedily. Oh God! In the fish lay his gold with interest for one day out of twelve per annum.
All this ended in great misfortune. According to historians, "shortly before his death, the tyrant was killed by a Persian satrap.
Madman Herostratus
The city of Ephesus was famous for its temple of the goddess Artemis. Herostratus burned this temple to glorify his name. But the Greeks, having learned for what purpose the terrible crime was committed, decided to consign the name of the criminal to oblivion as a punishment.
For this, special heralds were hired, who for many decades traveled all over Greece and announced the following order: “Do not dare to remember the name of the insane Herostratus, who burned the temple of the goddess Artemis out of ambition.”
The Greeks knew this order so well that it was possible to wake any of them at night and ask: “Who should you forget?” And he, without hesitation, would answer: "Mad Herostratus."
Thus the criminal ambitious man was justly punished.
Of the Greek colonies, Syracuse should also be noted, the inhabitants of which were famous for the weakness of spirit and body.
Fighting Persians. Miltiades at Marathon
The Persian king Darius was very fond of fighting. In particular, he wanted to defeat the Athenians. In order not to forget somehow in household chores about these enemies of his, he teased himself. Every day at dinner, the servants forgot to put something on the table: either bread, or salt, or a napkin. If Darius made a remark to negligent servants, they answered him in chorus according to his own teaching: “And you, Daryushka, do you remember the Athenians? ..”
Irritating himself to a frenzy, Darius sent his son-in-law Mardonius with troops to conquer Greece. Mardonius was defeated and went on a journey, and Darius recruited a new army and sent him to Marathon, not realizing that Miltiades was found on Marathon. We will not expand on the consequences of this act.
All Greeks glorified the name of Miltiades. Nevertheless, Miltiades had to end his life with death. During the siege of Paros, he was wounded, and for this, his fellow citizens sentenced him to a fine, on the pretext that he de carelessly treated his skin, which belongs to the fatherland.
Before Miltiades had time to close his eyes, two men had already risen in Athens - Themistocles and Aristides.
Themistocles became famous for the fact that the laurels of Miltiades did not let him sleep (483 BC). Evil Athenian tongues assured that he simply skipped all night long and dumped everything on his laurels. Well, God be with him. In addition, Themistocles knew by name and patronymic of all eminent citizens, which was very flattering to the latter. Themistocles' letters were set as a model for the Athenian youth: "... And I also bow to my dad, Oligarch Kimonovich, and aunt Matrona Anempodistovna, and our nephew Kallimahu Mardarionovich, etc., etc."
Aristides, on the other hand, indulged exclusively in justice alone, but so zealously that he aroused legitimate indignation in fellow citizens and, with the help of ostracism, set off to travel.
Leonidas at Thermopylae
King Xerxes, the successor of Darius Hystaspes, went to the Greeks with an innumerable (then they still did not know how to make a preliminary estimate) army. Built bridges across the Hellespont, but the storm destroyed them. Then Xerxes carved the Hellespont, and calm immediately settled in the sea. After that, cutting was introduced in all educational institutions.
Xerxes went to Thermopylae. The Greeks just had a holiday at that time, so there was no time to deal with trifles. They sent only the Spartan king Leonidas with a dozen fellows to protect the passage.
Xerxes sent to Leonidas with a demand to issue weapons. Leonid answered succinctly: "Come and take it."
The Persians came and took.
Soon the battle of Salamis took place. Xerxes watched the battle from his high throne.
Seeing how the Persians were beating him, the eastern despot fell head over heels from the throne and, having lost courage (480 BC), returned to Asia.
Then there was a battle near the city of Plataea. The oracles predicted defeat for the army that first entered the battle. The troops began to wait. But ten days later there was a characteristic crack. This broke the patience of Mardonius (479 BC), and he began the battle and was defeated utterly and in other parts of the body.
Times of hegemony
Thanks to the intrigues of Themistocles, hegemony passed to the Athenians. The Athenians, through ostracism, sent this lover of hegemonies to travel. Themistocles went to the Persian king Artaxerxes. He gave him large gifts in the hope of using his services. But Themistocles deceived the trust of the despot. He accepted the gifts, but instead of serving, he calmly poisoned himself.
Aristide also died soon after. The Republic buried him in the first class and gave his daughters a Solonian dowry: three dresses and modesty.
After Themistocles and Aristides in the Republic of Athens, Pericles came to the fore, who knew how to picturesquely wear his cloak.
This greatly raised the aesthetic aspirations of the Athenians. Under the influence of Pericles, the city was decorated with statues and splendor penetrated into the domestic life of the Greeks. They ate without knives and forks, and women were not present, since this spectacle was considered immodest.
Nearly every person had a philosopher at their dinner table. Listening to philosophical reasoning over a roast was considered as necessary for an ancient Greek as a Romanian orchestra is for our contemporaries.
Pericles patronized the sciences and went to the getter Aspasia to study philosophy.
In general, philosophers, even if they were not hetaerae, enjoyed great honor. Their sayings were written on the columns of the temple of Apollo at Delphi.
The best of these sayings are the philosopher Bias: “Do not do many things”, which supported many lazy people on their natural path, and the philosopher Thales of Miletus: “The guarantee will bring you care”, which many people remember when they put their form on a friendly bill with a trembling hand.
Pericles died of a pestilence. Friends gathered at his deathbed loudly recited his merits. Pericles told them:
- You forgot the best thing: "In my life I did not force anyone to wear a mourning dress."
With these words, the brilliant eloquent wanted to say that he had never died in his life.
Alcibiades
Alcibiades was known for his wild lifestyle and, in order to earn the trust of the citizens, cut off the tail of his dog.
Then the Athenians, as one man, entrusted Alcibiades with command of the fleet. Alcibiades had already gone to war when they returned him, forcing him to serve first for the street scandal he had caused before leaving. He fled to Sparta, then repented and fled again to Athens, then repented of thoughtless repentance and fled to Sparta again, then again to Athens, then to the Persians, then to Athens, then again to Sparta, from Sparta to Athens.
He ran like crazy, developing incredible speed and crushing everything in his path. The tailless dog could hardly keep up with him and died on the fifteenth run (412 BC). Above it is a monument on which the Spartans inscribed succinctly: "Wanderer, I died."
For a long time Alcibiades ran like a madman from Sparta to Athens, from Athens to the Persians. The unfortunate had to be shot out of pity.
One day, an Athenian sculptor unexpectedly had a son, nicknamed Socrates for his wisdom and love of philosophy. This Socrates did not pay attention to cold and heat. But that was not his wife Xanthippe. A rude and uneducated woman froze during the cold and steamed out from the heat. The philosopher treated the shortcomings of his wife with imperturbable composure. Once, angry with her husband, Xanthippe poured a bucket of slop over his head (397 BC).
The citizens sentenced Socrates to death. The disciples advised the venerable philosopher to travel better. But he refused due to old age and began to drink hemlock until he died.
Many assure that Socrates cannot be blamed for anything, because he was entirely invented by his student Plato. Others include his wife Xanthippe (398 B.C.) in this story.
Macedonia
Macedonians lived in Macedonia. Their king, Philip of Macedon, was a clever and dexterous ruler. In the ceaseless military endeavors he lost his eyes, chest, side, arms, legs and throat. Often difficult situations made him lose his head, so that the brave warrior remained completely light and ruled the people with the help of one abdominal barrier, which, however, could not stop his energy.
Philip of Macedon decided to conquer Greece and began his intrigues. The orator Demosthenes spoke out against him, who, having filled his mouth with small pebbles, convinced the Greeks to resist Philip, after which he took water in his mouth. This way of speaking is called the Philippics (346 B.C.).
Philip's son was Alexander the Great. The cunning Alexander was born on purpose just on the night when the mad Greek Herostratus burned down the temple; he did this in order to join Herostratus glory, which he completely succeeded in doing.
Alexander from childhood loved luxury and excesses and got himself a Bucephalus.
Having won many victories, Alexander fell into a strong autocracy. Once his friend Clitus, who once saved his life, reproached him for ingratitude. To prove the contrary, Alexander immediately killed the injustice with his own hand.
Shortly thereafter, he killed some of his friends, fearing reproaches of ingratitude. The same fate befell the commander Parmenion, his son Philo, the philosopher Callisthenes and many others. This intemperance in killing friends undermined the health of the great conqueror. He fell into excess and died much earlier than his death.
Geographical image of Italy
Italy looks like a shoe with a very warm climate.
Beginning of Rome
In Alabalong, the good-natured Numitor reigned, whom the evil Amulius overthrew from the throne. Numitor's daughter, Rhea Sylvia, was made a vestal. Nevertheless, Rhea gave birth to two twins, whom she recorded in the name of Mars, the god of war, since the bribes are smooth. Rhea was buried in the ground for this, and the children began to be brought up either by a shepherd or a she-wolf. Here historians differ. Some say that they were fed by a shepherd with the milk of a she-wolf, others - that a she-wolf on shepherd's milk. The boys grew up and, spurred on by the she-wolf, founded the city of Rome.
At first, Rome was very small - an arshin and a half, but then it quickly grew and acquired senators.
Romulus killed Remus. The senators took Romulus alive to heaven and asserted their power.
Public institutions
The Roman people were divided into patricians, who had the right to use public fields, and plebeians, who received the right to pay taxes.
In addition, there were also proletarians, about whom it is inappropriate to expand.
Brothers Tarquiniev and K0
In Rome, several kings successively changed. One of them - Servius Tullius - was killed by his son-in-law Tarquinius, who became famous for his sons. The sons under the firm "Brothers Tarquiniev and Co." were distinguished by a violent character and insulted the honor of the local Lucretius. The narrow-minded father was proud of his sons, for which he was nicknamed Tarquinius the Proud.
In the end, the people rebelled, changed the royal power and expelled Tarquinius. He went on a trip with the whole company. Rome became an aristocratic republic.
But for a long time Tarquinius did not want to come to terms with his share and went to war against Rome. He managed, among other things, to arm the Etruscan king Porsena against the Romans, but a certain Mucius Scaevola ruined the whole thing for him.
Muzzio decided to kill Porsena and made his way to his camp, but absent-mindedly killed someone else. Hungry during this event, Muzzio began to cook his own supper, but instead of a piece of beef, absent-mindedly, he put his own hand into the fire.
King Porsena pulled his nose (502 BC): "It smells of fried!" I went to the smell and opened Mucius.
- What are you doing, unfortunate?! exclaimed the shocked king.
"I'm cooking my supper," answered the laconically absent-minded young man.
Are you going to eat this meat? Porsena continued to be horrified.
“Of course,” Muzzio answered with dignity, still not noticing his mistake. This is the favorite breakfast of Roman tourists.
Porsena became confused and retreated with heavy losses.
But Tarquinius did not soon calm down. He continued to run. The Romans finally had to tear Cincinnatus from the plow. This painful operation nice results. The enemy was pacified.
Nevertheless, the wars with the Tarquinian sons undermined the welfare of the country. The plebeians became impoverished, went to the Sacred Mountain and threatened that they would build their own city, where everyone would be his own patrician. They were hardly reassured by a fable about the stomach.
Meanwhile, the decemvirs wrote the laws on copper boards. First by ten, then two more were added for strength.
Then they began to try the strength of these laws, and one of the legislators insulted Virginia. Virginia's father tried to remedy the situation by plunging a knife into his daughter's heart, but this did not bring any benefit to the unfortunate woman. The bewildered plebeians again went to the Sacred Mountain. The Decemvirs set off to travel.
Roman Geese and Runaways
Countless hordes of Gauls moved to Rome. The Roman legions were confused and, turning to flight, hid in the city of Veyah, the rest of the Romans went to bed. The Gauls took advantage of this and climbed onto the Capitol. And here they became a victim of their ignorance. Geese lived on the Capitol, and when they heard the noise, they began to cackle.
- Alas for us! - said the leader of the barbarians, hearing this chuckle. “The Romans are already laughing at our defeat.
And immediately retreated with heavy losses, carrying off the dead and wounded.
Seeing that the danger had passed, the Roman fugitives got out of their Vei and, trying not to look at the geese (they were ashamed), said a few immortal phrases about the honor of Roman weapons.
After the Gallic invasion, Rome was heavily devastated. The plebeians again withdrew to the Sacred Mountain and again threatened to build their city. The case was settled by Manlius Capitolinus, but did not have time to travel in time and was thrown off the Tarpeian rock.
Then the Licinian Laws were issued. The patricians did not pass new laws for a long time, and the plebeians many times went to the Sacred Mountain to listen to the fable about the stomach.
King Pyrrhus
Pyrrhus, king of Epirus, landed in Italy with a vast army led by twenty war elephants. The Romans were defeated in the first battle. But King Pyrrhus was not satisfied with this.
What an honor when there is nothing to eat! he exclaimed. “One more such victory and I will be left without an army. Isn't it better to be defeated, but to have an army in full collection?
The elephants approved of Pyrrhus's decision, and the whole company was expelled from Italy without much difficulty.
Punic Wars
Wanting to take possession of Sicily, the Romans entered the struggle with Carthage. Thus began the first war between the Romans and the Carthaginians, nicknamed Punic for a change.
The first victory belonged to the Roman consul Dunlius. The Romans thanked him in their own way: they decided that a man with a lit torch and a musician playing the flute should accompany him everywhere. This honor greatly hampered Dunlius in his household and love affairs. The unfortunate one quickly fell into insignificance.
This example had a detrimental effect on other commanders, so that during the second Punic war, the consuls, out of fear of earning a flute with a torch, courageously retreated before the enemy.
The Carthaginians, led by Hannibal, attacked Rome. Scipio, the son of Publius (who does not know Publius?), repelled the Punic attack with such fervor that he received the title of African.
In 146, Carthage was destroyed and burned. Scipio, a relative of the African, looked at the burning Carthage, thought about Rome and recited about Troy; since it was very difficult and difficult, he even cried.
Change of temper and Cato
The strength of the Roman state was greatly facilitated by the moderation in the way of life and the firmness of the character of the citizens. They were not ashamed of work, and their food was meat, fish, vegetables, fruits, poultry, spices, bread and wine.
But in the course of time all this changed, and the Romans fell into the effeminacy of morals. They adopted many things harmful to themselves from the Greeks. They began to study Greek philosophy and go to the bath (135 BC).
The stern Cato rebelled against all this, but was caught by fellow citizens who caught him playing the Greek extemporal.
Marius and Sulla
Countless hordes of Cimbri appeared on the northern borders of Italy. It was the turn of Mary and Sulla to save the fatherland.
Marius was very fierce, loved the simplicity of everyday life, did not recognize any furniture and always sat right on the ruins of Carthage. He died at a ripe old age from excessive drinking.
Such was not the fate of Sulla. The brave commander died on his estate from an intemperate life.
Lucullus and Cicero
Meanwhile, in Rome, proconsul Lucullus advanced with his feasts. He treated his friends with ant tongues, mosquito noses, elephant nails and other small and indigestible food and quickly fell into insignificance.
Rome, on the other hand, almost became the victim of a large conspiracy, headed by the debt-ridden aristocrat Catiline, who planned to seize the state in his own hands.
The local Cicero opposed him and destroyed the enemy with the help of his eloquence.
The people were then unpretentious, and even such hackneyed phrases as ... "O tempora, o mores" acted on the hearts of the listeners. Cicero was presented with the rank of "father of the fatherland" and a man with a flute was assigned to him.
Julius Caesar and the first triumvirate
Julius Caesar was by birth an educated man and attracted the hearts of people.
But under his appearance was hidden ardent ambition. Most of all he wanted to be the first in some village. But it was very difficult to achieve this, and he launched various intrigues in order to be the first even in Rome. To do this, he entered into a triumvirate with Pompey and Crassus and, having retired to Gaul, began to win the favor of his soldiers.
Crassus soon died, and Pompey, tormented by envy, demanded the return of Caesar to Rome. Caesar, not wanting to part with the won disposition of the soldiers, led the latter with him. Having reached the Rubicon River, Julius squirmed for a long time (51 - 50 BC) in front of her, finally said: “The die is cast” - and climbed into the water.
Pompey did not expect this and quickly fell into insignificance.
Then Cato came out against Caesar, a descendant of the same Cato who was convicted of Greek grammar. He, like his ancestor, was very unlucky. It was their family. He retired to Utica, where he bled to death.
In order to somehow distinguish him from his ancestor, and at the same time honor his memory, he was given the nickname Utsky. Small consolation for the family!
Dictatorship and death of Caesar
Caesar celebrated his victories and became dictator in Rome. He did a lot of good for the country. First of all, he reformed the Roman calendar, which had fallen into great confusion from inaccurate time, so that in another week there were four Mondays in a row, and all the Roman shoemakers were drunk to death; otherwise, two months on the twentieth day would suddenly disappear, and the officials, sitting without pay, fell into insignificance. The new calendar was called Julian and had 365 consecutive days.
The people were pleased. But a certain Junius Brutus, Caesar's hanger-on, who dreamed of having seven Fridays a week, plotted against Caesar.
Caesar's wife, who had an ominous dream, asked her husband not to go to the Senate, but his friends said that it was indecent to skimp on duties because of women's dreams. Caesar went. In the Senate, Cassius, Brutus, and a senator named simply Casca attacked him. Caesar wrapped himself in his cloak, but, alas, this precaution did not help either.
Then he exclaimed: "And you, Brutus!" According to the historian Plutarch, at the same time he thought: “I didn’t do enough good for you, you pig, that you are now climbing on me with a knife!”
Then he fell at the feet of the Pompeian statue and died in 44 BC.
Octavius and the second triumvirate
At this time, Caesar's nephew and heir Octavius returned to Rome. However, the ardent Anthony, Caesar's friend, managed to grab the inheritance, leaving one old vest to the rightful heir. Octavius was, according to historians, a man of small stature, but nevertheless very cunning. He immediately used the waistcoat he received from the ardent Antony as gifts for Caesar's veterans, which attracted them to his side. A small fraction also fell to the aged Cicero, who began to smash Antony with the same speeches that he once smashed Catiline. Again went on stage "O tempora, o mores". The cunning Octavius flattered the old man and said that he considered him a papa.
Using the old man, Octavius threw off his mask and entered into an alliance with Antony. Another Lepidus clung to them, and a new triumvirate was formed.
Ardent Antony soon fell into the net of the Egyptian queen Cleopatra and fell into a pampered lifestyle.
The cunning Octavius took advantage of this and went to Egypt with countless hordes.
Cleopatra sailed on her ships and participated in the battle, looking at Antony with green, purple, purple, yellow eyes. But during the battle, the queen remembered that she had forgotten the keys to the pantry, and ordered the ships to turn their bows home.
Octavius was triumphant and appointed a man with a flute to himself.
Cleopatra began to arrange her nets for him. She sent a maid to the ardent Anthony with the following words: "The lady ordered you to say that they had died." Antony fell on his sword in horror.
Cleopatra continued to spread her nets, but Octavius, despite his small stature, steadfastly rejected her tricks.
Octavius, who received the name of Augustus for all of the above, began to rule the state indefinitely. But he did not accept the royal title.
- For what? - he said. “Call me Emperor for short.
Augustus embellished the city with baths and sent the general Varus with three legions into the Teutoburg Forest, where he was defeated.
Augustus, in desperation, began to beat his head against the wall, singing: "Var, Var, give me back my legions."
The so-called "Barbarian gap" quickly formed in the wall (9 BC), and Augustus said:
“One more defeat like that and I'll be left without a head.
The Augustan dynasty indulged in pomp and quickly fell into insignificance.
Caligula, the son of Germanicus, surpassed his predecessors in idleness. He was too lazy even to chop off the heads of his subjects, and he dreamed that all mankind had one head, which he could hastily chop off.
This sloth, however, found time to torture animals. so, his best horse, on which he himself rode and carried water, he forced to sit in the Senate in the evenings.
After his death (through the mediation of a bodyguard), both people and horses breathed more freely.
Caligula's uncle Claudius, who inherited the throne, was distinguished by a weakness of character. Taking advantage of this, those close to Claudius wrested the death sentence for his wife - the depraved Messalina - and married him to the deeply corrupted Agrippina. From these wives Claudius had a son, Britannicus, but Nero, the son of the deeply corrupted Agrippina from his first marriage, succeeded to the throne.
Nero devoted his youth to the extermination of relatives. Then he gave himself up to art and a shameful way of life.
During the fire of Rome, he, like any true ancient Roman (Greek too), could not resist reciting the fire of Troy. For which he was suspected of arson.
In addition, he sang so out of tune that the most fake souls of the courtiers could not sometimes endure this insult to the eardrum. The shameless goat at the end of his life started to go on tour to Greece, but then even the accustomed legions were outraged, and Nero, with great displeasure, pierced himself with a sword. Dying from lack of self-criticism, the tyrant exclaimed: "What a great artist is dying."
After the death of Nero, troubles set in, and within two years three emperors changed in Rome: Galba, who was killed by a soldier for stinginess, Otto, who died from a depraved life, and Vitellius, who distinguished himself for his short but glorious kingdom by exorbitant gluttony.
This diversity in the monarchy greatly interested the Roman soldiers. It was fun for them, getting up in the morning, to ask the platoon commander: “And who, uncle, reigns with us today?”
Much confusion subsequently arose, as the kings changed too often, and it happened that new king came to the throne when his predecessor had not yet had time to die properly.
Tsars were chosen by soldiers according to their own taste and fear. They were taken for their great growth, for physical strength, for the ability to express themselves strongly. Then they began to directly trade in thrones and sold it to the one who would give the most. In the "Roman Herald" ("Nuntius Romanus"), ads were printed all the time:
“A good throne is given away cheaply, sparsely maintained, for a reasonable price.”
Or: “I am looking for a throne here or in the province. I have a deposit. I agree to leave."
At the gates of Roman houses, tickets were full of:
“The throne is for rent for lonely. Ask Unter Mardaryan.
Rome rested somewhat during the reign of the meek and timid emperor, nicknamed Nerva, and again fell into despair when Chemodus climbed the throne.
Chest of drawers had great physical strength and decided to fight in the local Fars.
The "Roman Bourse" ("Bursiania Romana") published government-inspired articles about the exploits of Commodus.
"... And now the massive furniture rolls around in a ball, intertwining with the Illyrian lizard and rewarding the latter with sparkling pasta and double nelsons."
Close people hurried to get rid of the uncomfortable chest of drawers. He was suffocated.
Finally, the emperor Diocletian reigned, having meekly burned Christians for twenty years in a row. This was his only shortcoming.
Diocletian was from Dalmatia and the son of a freedman. One soothsayer predicted to him that he would take the throne when he killed the boar.
These words sunk into the soul of the future emperor, and for many years he did nothing but chase pigs. Once, having heard from someone that Prefect Apr was a real pig, he immediately slaughtered the prefect and immediately sat on the throne.
Thus, the meek emperor was famously remembered only by pigs. But these troubles so tired the aged monarch that he reigned for only twenty years, then renounced the throne and went to his homeland in Dalmatia to plant radishes, enticing his co-ruler Maximian to this useful occupation. But he soon again asked for the throne. Diocletian remained firm.
“Friend,” he said. - If you could see what a turnip has been born today! Well, turnip! One word - turnip! Am I up to the kingdom now? A man cannot keep up with the garden, and you climb with nothing.
And indeed, he grew an outstanding turnip (305 A.D.).
Roman life and culture
Population classes
The population of the Roman state mainly consisted of three classes:
1) noble citizens (nobelas);
2) humble citizens (suspicious person) and
Noble citizens had a lot of major advantages over other citizens. First, they had the right to pay taxes. The main advantage was the right to exhibit wax images of ancestors at home. In addition, they had the right to organize public celebrations and festivities at their own expense.
Ignorant citizens lived poorly. They did not have the right to pay any taxes, did not have the right to serve as soldiers, and sadly grew rich in trade and industry.
Slaves cultivated the fields peacefully and staged uprisings.
In addition, there were also senators and horsemen in Rome. They differed from each other in that the senators sat in the Senate, and the riders were on horseback.
The Senate was the place where the senators and the royal horses sat.
Consuls were required to be over forty years of age. This was their main quality. The consuls were accompanied everywhere by a retinue of twelve people with rods in their hands as an emergency, if the consul wanted to whip someone away from the wooded area.
The praetors disposed of the rod allowance for only six persons.
Military art
The magnificent organization of the Roman army contributed a lot to military victories.
The main part of the legions were the so-called principles - experienced veterans. Therefore, the Roman soldiers were convinced from the first steps how harmful it is to compromise their principles.
Legions generally consisted of brave warriors who were confused only at the sight of the enemy.
religious institutions
Among the Roman institutions, the first place was occupied by religious institutions.
The head priest was called pontifex maximus, which did not prevent him from time to time from fooling his flock with various tricks based on dexterity and agility of hands.
Then followed the priests of the augurs, who were distinguished by the fact that, when they met, they could not look at each other without smiling. Seeing their cheerful faces, the rest of the priests snorted into their sleeves. The parishioners, who had figured out something in Greek tricks, were dying with laughter, looking at this whole company.
The pontifex maximus himself, glancing at one of his subordinates, only waved his hand helplessly and trembled with flabby senile laughter.
At the same time, the Vestal Virgins also giggled.
It goes without saying that because of this eternal cackling, the Roman religion quickly weakened and fell into decay. No nerves could withstand such a tickling.
Vestals were priestesses of the goddess Vesta. They were chosen from the girls of a good family and served at the temple, observing chastity until the age of seventy-five. After this period, they were allowed to marry.
But the Roman youths respected such tried and tested chastity so much that few of them dared to encroach on it, even flavored with a double Solonov dowry (six dresses and two modesty).
If the vestal violated her vow ahead of time, then she was buried alive, and her children, recorded on different Mars, were raised by she-wolves. Knowing the brilliant past of Romulus and Remus, the Roman vestals greatly appreciated the pedagogical abilities of the she-wolves and considered them to be something like our learned chapels.
But the hopes of the Vestals were in vain. Their children no longer founded Rome. As a reward for chastity, the Vestal Virgins received honor and back marks in theaters.
Gladiatorial battles were originally considered a religious rite and were held at burial places "to reconcile the body of the deceased." That is why our fighters, when they perform in the parade, always have such funeral faces: atavism is clearly manifested here.
While worshiping their gods, the Romans did not forget the foreign gods. Out of a habit of grabbing where something is bad, the Romans often grabbed other people's gods for themselves.
The Roman emperors, taking advantage of this love of God of their people and deciding that you can’t spoil porridge with butter, introduced the adoration of their own person. After the death of each emperor, the senate ranked him among the gods. Then they reasoned that it was much more convenient to do this while the emperor was still alive: the latter could thus build a temple for himself to his liking, while the ancient gods had to be content with anything.
In addition, no one could so zealously follow the festivities and religious ceremonies established in his name, as God himself, who was personally present. This was very encouraging for the congregation.
Philosophical schools
Not only philosophers were engaged in philosophy in Rome: every father of the family had the right to philosophize at home.
In addition, everyone could attribute himself to some kind of philosophical school. One considered himself a Pythagorean because he ate beans, the other an Epicurean because he drank, ate and made merry. Every shameless person assured that he was doing nasty things only because he belonged to the cynical school. Among the important Romans there were many Stoics, who had a repulsive habit of calling guests and immediately opening their veins during the cake. This unscrupulous reception was considered the height of hospitality.
Home life and the position of women
The dwellings of the Romans were very modest: a one-story house with holes instead of windows - simple and cute. The streets were very narrow, so that the chariots could only go in one direction so as not to meet each other.
Roman food was simple. They ate twice a day: at noon a snack (prandium), and at four o'clock lunch (coena). In addition, in the morning they had breakfast (frishtik), in the evening they had dinner and between meals they starved a worm. This harsh lifestyle made the Romans healthy and long-lived people.
From the provinces, expensive and tasty dishes were delivered to Rome: peacocks, pheasants, nightingales, fish, ants, and the so-called "Trojan pigs" - porcns trojanus - in memory of the very pig that Paris had planted to the Trojan king Menelaus. Without this pig, not a single Roman sat at the table.
At first, Roman women were in complete submission to their husbands, then they began to please not so much their husband as his friends, and often even enemies.
Having left the upbringing of children to the slaves, their she-wolves, the Roman matrons made acquaintance with Greek and Roman literature and excelled in playing the zither.
Divorces occurred so often that sometimes the matron did not have time to finish the marriage with one man, as she was already marrying another.
Contrary to all logic, this polygamy increased, according to historians, “the number of single men and reduced childbearing,” as if only married men had children, and not married women!
The people were dying. Careless matrons frolicked, not caring a lot about childbearing.
It ended badly. For several years in a row, only Vestals gave birth. The government was alarmed.
Emperor Augustus reduced the rights of single men, and married men, on the contrary, allowed themselves to allow themselves a lot of excess. But all these laws have not led exactly to anything. Rome is dead.
Upbringing
The education of the Romans in the flourishing era of the state was set very strictly. Young people were required to be modest and obedient to their elders.
In addition, if they did not understand something, they could ask someone for an explanation during a walk and listen respectfully to it.
When Rome fell into decline, the education of the youth was also shaken. It began to learn grammar and eloquence, and this greatly spoiled its temper.
Literature
Literature flourished in Rome and developed under the influence of the Greeks.
The Romans were very fond of writing, and since slaves wrote for them, almost every Roman who had a literate slave was considered a writer.
In Rome, the newspaper "Nuncius Romanus" - "The Roman Herald" was published, in which Horace himself wrote feuilletons on the topic of the day.
The emperors, too, did not disdain literature and occasionally placed in the newspaper some kind of prank of a powerful pen.
One can imagine the awe of the editors when the emperor, at the head of his legions, appeared on the appointed day for a fee.
Writers in those days, despite the lack of censorship, had a very difficult time. If an aesthete sat on the throne, he ordered the unfortunate poet to hang himself for the slightest error in style or literary form. There was no question of any jail terms or replacements with a fine.
Emperors usually demanded that everything literary work in a brilliant and convincing form, he spoke about the merits of his person.
This made literature very monotonous, and the books sold poorly.
Therefore, writers liked to lock themselves somewhere in silence and solitude, and from there already give free rein to their pen. On, having given free rein, they immediately undertook a journey.
One nobleman named Petronius made a ridiculous attempt to publish in Rome (hard to believe!) Satyricon! The madman imagined that this journal might be as successful in the first century A.D. as in the twentieth century A.D.
Petronius had sufficient means (every day he ate mosquito eyebrows in sour cream, accompanying himself on the zither), he had both education and endurance of character, but despite all this, he could not wait twenty centuries. He went bankrupt with his untimely undertaking and, having satisfied his subscribers, died, moreover, he bled from his veins to his friends.
“The Satyricon will wait for the most worthy,” were the last words of the great seer.
The science of law
When more or less all the poets and writers hanged themselves, one branch of Roman science and literature reached its highest stage of development, namely, the science of law.
In no country was there such a mass of jurists as in Rome, and the need for them was very great.
Every time a new emperor who had killed his predecessor came to the throne, which sometimes happened several times a year, the best lawyers had to write a legal justification for this crime for public promulgation.
Write a similar excuse for the most part it was very difficult: it required special Roman legal knowledge, and many lawyers laid down their violent heads in this matter.
Thus lived the peoples of antiquity, passing from cheap simplicity to costly splendor and, developing, fell into insignificance.
Patterns of Oral Questions and Written Problems for Revisiting Ancient History
1. Indicate the difference between the statue of Memnon and the Pythia.
2. To trace the influence of agriculture on Persian women.
3. Indicate the difference between False Smerdiz and simple Smerdiz.
4. Draw a parallel between the suitors of Penelope and the first Punic war.
5. Point out the difference between the depraved Messalina and the deeply corrupted Agrippina.
6. List how many times the Roman legions faltered and how many times they were confused.
7. Express yourself several times succinctly without prejudice to your own personality (exercise).
