How to distinguish a good person from bad. How to distinguish a mentally unhealthy person from normal? Always recognize their mistakes
In general, it is believed that most people are good in nature. However, unfortunately among them sometimes there are also very dishonest and evil individuals.
Often, such people have a number of qualities representing a mixture of apathy, self-moniary and mind.
Their true goal is to dominate and conquer. What would be none of them from the very beginning, their true essence, in the end, turns out to be on the surface.
It is important to be able to identify such people, as they often turn out to be unreliable friends, and can represent for Vasugrosis.
Here, 12 signs that the person with whom you are dealing is unfriendly, and you better stay away from it.
1. They love to deny reality.
Simply put, such people refuse to take reality. They do not perceive reality just like the rest, and the recognition of the truth for them is unnatural.
2. They distort the facts.
Distorting the facts of the current situation - this is what they get better. They use this method of manipulation to reailed everything to their own way to cause suffering to people around them.
3. They hide information.
Such people often use false or hiding information to monitor the current situation. This is their way to jeopardize the reputation of other people and use them for their benefit.
4. They are misleading other people.
They manipulate others, distorting facts and forcing you to believe as opposed to what happened. If the situation is already bad, they will make it even worse.
5. They do not feel repentance for what they did.
Evil people do not feel remorse when they manage the situation for themselves. They are ready to destroy and go through their heads on the way to their goal.
To extremely, such people may suffer from emotionally unstable personality disorder. If they harm you, they do not care how it is done while they can achieve their goal. They enjoy someone's suffering.
6. They lick a lot.
These people lie so much that they can be called pathological lgs. This is a danger to those surrounding because of their inability to tell the truth.
The obsessive lies are for them the game, and the more sophisticated they lie, the more pleasure they get, deceiving the others.
7. They refuse to take responsibility for their actions.
Evil people rarely take responsibility for their actions, as it is not part of their moral norms. Instead, they blame others for their mistakes, exposing themselves in the best light and never apologize.
8. They are manipulators.
Such people are real manipulation masters. You must understand that you do not have paramount importance for them, but are rather a hindrance for their purpose.
9. They are unreliable friends.
As it was said earlier, these people are unfamiliar to the concept of real and devotional friendship. Such a person can be your acquaintance and appears only when everything is fine in your life. But when you have difficulties, they just disappear.
10. They steal your time.
If you have noticed that you lost your time bill next to some people, perhaps they do it intentionally to delay you. Narcissus do not like when someone succeeds and does something better than them.
Theft of your time is one of their ways to make you fail. Do not let them know your important dates and events in work and personal life. They can find ways to get promotion or remove you from loved ones.
11. They lead a double life.
They are not fully honest about their past. The likelihood of what they took advantage of someone as they do it are now with you.
To mislead others and tell the lie about your life is a familiar thing for them. Be careful with the one to make friends to your circle.
12. They strive for hard control.
These people are arrogant, and their arrogance is the result of what they can manage others, and it focuses their magnitude. This can be noticed even by how they talk to you condescending tone.
Incredible facts
Can you imagine a world in which there is no deception? It is unlikely that someone has enough fantasy to realize how much we will lose it or how much I will get it if you stop lying each other. Man lies Every day, so skills to remove the interlocutor for clean water will be useful to everyone.
Moreover, each of us was once mistaken in people. At such moments, we think about how it was possible to not immediately notice that the person is unreliable, and it is impossible to rely on it. And it happens that we simply cannot find a common language with someone, because they did not work out to watch the person in order to create his portrait.
But how to find out a person really? Colleague, potential partner, friend? On the Internet there are a lot of articles, like "Ask these questions to find out a person truly." But how do you imagine it? Squeeze a person in front of him and start interrogation? Not a lot of people agree to this.
Another extreme is to believe that a person can be found only for a long period of time. However, the coach John Alex Clark (John Alex Clark) is confident that the key in this matter is not the time, in the observation and ability to associate the information received in one chain.
There are several very simple and at the same time powerful techniques that will help you identify patterns in human behavior and learn its character. About them and talk.
How to find out a person
1. Notice the details
Every day a person makes a huge number of routine actions: buys food, rides in transport, speaks by phone, etc. A person's actions can shed light on his personality, as well as help predict how he behaves in one way or another.
Example A. If a person chooses the same dish every day in a cafe, it is likely that he will avoid change, and he does not like the uncertainty. Such people can be loyal and loyal spouses. But on the other hand it will be extremely difficult to convince the risky investment or move to another country.
Example B. People who like to play on the stock exchange and engage in other risky events are most likely to risk in other areas of life. For example, such a person can quit his job, not finding another and not thinking about financial security for the time of unemployment.
Example V. A person who always looks in both sides when goes the road, most likely prudent and cautious. He will thoroughly think about every little thing before making any decision, and goes only on a well-calculated risk.
That is, if you analyze the actions of a person in one area, you can understand how it will behave in other areas.
2. Pay attention to how a person communicates
How does your interlocutor behave in communication? Trying with every person to build relationships or highlights those who are close to him in spirit, and the rest holds on an elongated hand? Chatting without a clear plan, in a particular, focusing on the impressions, or still constantly analyzes, trying to be objective and does not trust intuition?
A person is more thinker based on concepts, images, schemes and ideas, or is it rather a practitioner living in the world of measurable values, tasks and facts? If you are watching everyday words and behavior, you will be able to trace the overall line.
3. Talk to a person about relationships with common acquaintances, about contacts at work
Many believe that gossip is empty lesson, devoid of any meaning. However, the main thing in this matter what qualities the source gives out other people how he explains their behavior. Often when we are talking about other people, we will unconsciously notice what is present in ourselves.
These conversations will help to understand that we appreciate the surrounding people who want to be similar to, and that we want to change in yourself. The more often we talk about others that they are emotionally stable, happy, kindly or polite, the higher the likelihood that we ourselves have these characteristics.
If a person talks about a friend that he pretends to divert someone to someone, it may mean that such a person is calculating and builds only the relationship built on a momentary benefit.
4. Take the existing borders
When a person wants to build relationships, he sees good and ignores bad. However, sooner or later, the illusions differ still, and the person will appear in front of you in all its glory. A person who knows how to communicate correctly, first of all, will search in the interlocutor not good, and its borders.
If the opponent is kind, then where does the courtesy ends? He wants to help, and where is the desire to stop? If he is sincere, when will it start to be treated? He tolerate to the errors of subordinate to what point? Honest with his clients? And if we are talking about the amount with a lot of zeros?
Adequate, sober, understanding, reasonable? Where is his limit going which he turns into a madman?
5. Pay attention to the behavior of a person in a critical situation.
When force majeure happens, a person shows itself in all its glory, he simply can't play or crap. He does not have time to wear a mask, therefore, behaving begins to behave as His instincts want.
How to find out a person really
6. Pay attention to its attitude to service personnel.
People, the lives with which was unfair, in their own opinion, have a habit to break off on servicing staff. Sellers, waiters, cleaners - get everyone. If your interlocutor calls the waiter with a click of fingers or whistle, then this is the first sign that a person is at least poorly raised with all the resulting.
7. Observe the intonation and body language.
On the Internet there are a lot of information about the language of the body. Liars are recognized by some signs: they make pauses in a conversation, change the topic of conversation, they begin to justify themselves, even if there is no reproach, when answering the question, eyes are taken away, they often touch their face.
Social criticism of psychiatry was not limited to purely historical works and abstract reasoning about the role of a mentally ill in society. The thesis that madness has a social nature, it was necessary to assume that what was happening in the most psychiatric clinic can also be fully described and explained socially.
Critical studies of the psychiatric clinics questioned the adequacy of psychiatric methods and demonstrated that psychiatrists are not able to provide a working mechanism of identification of mental disorder, and the difference between mentally ill and healthy person is actually determined by social factors.
One of the most striking and visual examples of the study of the psychiatric clinics was the experiment of David Rosenhan, conducted in 1973.
The task of the experiment was to check whether psychiatrists can really distinguish mentally ill people from mentally healthy on the basis of those symptoms that they demonstrate.
During the experiment, eight people of different age, gender and professional status (among them there were three psychologists, a psychiatrist, a pediatrician, an artist and a housewife) appealed to psychiatric clinics with the same complaint. Each of the patients complained that he hears unfamiliar vague voices, which pronounce the words "emptiness", "Mount" and the like.
Almost immediately after entering the clinic, all pseudo-pumps stated that they ceased to hear voices, and also ceased to demonstrate any symptoms of abnormality. Nevertheless, each of those who applied to the clinic received one or another diagnosis; In most cases, it was "schizophrenia in the remission". At the same time, all pseudo-pumps have passed a serious survey, and in most cases hospitalization occupied a rather long period of time.
In the course of subsequent experiments, the clinics personnel received a warning that pseudo-pumps may apply to them in the coming months; Knowing this, doctors and staff assessed the likelihood that the patient pretends.
In fact, during this period, Rosenhan and his colleagues did not send researchers in the clinic. Nevertheless, during these months, dozens of patients fell under suspicion as simulants.
The first conclusion to which Rosenhan comes on the basis of the experiments carried out is that existing diagnostic methods are imperfect. "Any diagnostic process that easily leads to major errors of this kind cannot be considered very reliable."
But the value of these experiments was not to simply show that the individual methods of psychiatric diagnostics do not have a high degree of reliability.
This study allowed to make a stronger conclusion: in psychiatry, in principle, there are no own working methods for distinguishing mentally ill and mentally healthy people.
The clarity of the experiment and the wide response that he called, demonstrated that this problem is obvious even to people who do not have a direct relation to psychiatric practice.
But if Psychiatry does not have the method of distinguishing patients and healthy, then due to which one person can be called mentally ill? The explanation, advanced by Rosenhan, is: as soon as a person for one or another reasons "is appointed" mentally ill, all his behavior from this moment begins to be considered through the prism of non-normality. The label of "abnormality" is automatically hung on anyone who stays in the hospital: "The hospital itself imposes an environment in which the value of behavior can easily be interpreted incorrectly"; Therefore, there is no adequate tool to distinguish a mentally healthy person from a psychic patient if both are in the clinic.
Even if a person in the clinic is actually healthy, all his actions are perceived through the prism of his "disorders".
For example, pseudo-pumps in the Rosenhan experiment were diaries, where they described what was happening with them. Hospital personnel considered signing the manifestation of "abnormalities". And when one of the pseudo-pumps simply walked around the hospital corridor, the nurse suggested that he was taking care of the corridor because he was very nervous.
The same actions of healthy people would be interpreted completely differently. Similarly, the most common biography of a person who is in the clinic is always considered by the doctors from the prospect of his disorder - and there are "pathological" episodes.
So, as a result of research, the clinic was highlighted by a strong thesis on the absence of real differences between mental health and mental illness, which can be detected by means of psychiatric science. The visible "abnormality" of the behavior of the mentally patient is often explained by the fact that it acquires a "deviant label" and acts in accordance with this role. The fact that a person gets such a role is due to the fall in the psychiatric situation.
But if patients do not differ from mentally healthy people (or at least there are no clear methods that allow it to be distinguished), then why some people get into the clinic, and some are not?
Irving Hoffman, exploring the causes of hospitalization, demonstrates that the "career" of a person as a patient there is always a social beginning associated with violation of the order. "Personal History" of most patients of a psychiatric hospital document deviations against certain mechanisms providing an orderly accommodation to face: against home and family, workplace, some kind of half-party organization, such as church or shop, some public region , for example, streets or park. "
Of course, not any violation of the order must lead to hospitalization and recognition of a person mentally ill. However, in the case of the interest of other agents and in the presence of appropriate circumstances (for example, "the alcoholic is sent to a psychiatric hospital, because there are no free places in prison") a person becomes a patient of a psychiatric clinic.
Studies of the clinic showed how "a mental patient" is created "and a person acquires a marker of mentally ill, which is why others subsequently" see "all his behavior through the prism of his" disorder ".
There is such a film - "invention of lies". It tells him about the world in which no one skillfully lie. Once, one resident of this world has broken something in the brain, and he pronounced the first lie. In order not to spoil the impression of the film, I will not talk further and I advise you to look at him to learn how our world could look without lies.
And since in the real world of lies and deception, at least debugs, here are some ways how to deal with them and bring a person who you do not trust, on clean water.
Watch a person in a critical situation
When a person has to act in a critical situation, he cannot chat or play. He has no opportunity to use masks, and he will surely act as they will order his instincts.
People who offended life are most often drunk on the service personnel. Waiters, cleaners, sellers - all of them go. If a person whistles or climbs the waiter with his fingers is the first sign that your companion is an idiot.
Keep track of body language and intonation
Find easy. The liars can be recognized by several signs:
- Pause in conversation.
- Answering an eye when answering the question.
- Change the topic of conversation.
- Justified, even when you do not reproach them.
- Often concern the face.
Of course, you should not overdo it and follow every gesture of the interlocutor. But sometimes this small crib helps to withdraw on clean water.
Check about common acquaintances
We love gossip to a greater or lesser extent. And, unfortunately, we often do not know the measures in them. Having paid for common acquaintances, you will see with your own eyes how much shit can pour out of it seemed to be a good person.
Wide or take money
And although we have already talked about what - this is the last thing you should think, but, taking or lenting money to a person, you can learn about it a lot of new things.
Go on a trip together
Extreme way. If you are already thinking about how to bring a person to clean water, then ride with him on a trip - not the best idea. But by spending alone for some time, you will see all his cockroaches.
Tell the secret
Taking the secret, you check the ability of a person to keep secrets. If you do not trust him, you can tell you a trifling secret or a fictional secret, just to check whether he will run up it further.
Were there any situation in your life when it was necessary to understand what a person really is? How did you do?
Who are such decent people? Do you consider yourself a decent person?
Integrity is described in the dictionary as the quality that is characteristic of honesty and strict moral principles. Such people are reliable, sincerely and kind. By and large, we all should strive to be such.
By the way, each of us would like to be surrounded by exclusively decent people. But how can you know that someone can be considered a truly so person? This quality, of course, cannot be faked or imitate, but there are several faithful ways to help determine what's before you - a decent person.
We suggest you familiarize yourself with the main models of behavior that are manifested by decent people. If they have your friends or colleagues - our congratulations.
So, 10 signs that a person is really decent.
1. Takes responsibility for his actions.
Decent people come exactly as they are extremely honest. If you see that someone so that neither happens and no matter how the circumstances are, is always responsible for their words and deeds - this person is decent, be sure.
This, by the way, is not always so simple, considering how difficult our life is, but this is the only right road. And they choose her, although they understand how hard it will be.
2. For them, the needs of other people are above their own.
In our world, which is pregnant with individualism, it is quite difficult to find people for whom the benefit of others will be in the first place.
A person for whom the needs of other people are above their own, actually decent. And, of course, he does not do this not for the sake of recognition and gratitude. Such people are simply important to do - no matter what happens.
3. Always come to the rescue.
Set Miers, Doctor of Psychology, says that the volunteer movement is where to look for truly decent people. This is all because they never regret the time to help other people. They are always happy to do something for those who are lucky in life less than them. Moreover, it makes them happy.
When you need to work together to make your country better, or help in a local dining room for the poor, decent people come to the rescue. They are always the first, and always - are committed to a common cause.
4. Think about other people well.
Seth Meyers also emphasizes that holistic people are never in a hurry with conclusions relative to other people. They always give them a chance to explain and continue the relationship, even if the opinions and views of other people do not coincide with their own.
After all, they perfectly understand that not everything in this world is as it seems, and every person has its own position, which deserves to be heard. Therefore, they advocate the presumption of innocence, and not for hasty and often groundless accusations.
5. They are honest in everything, even in trifles.
Little lie can be tempting, if you think about: "So nothing terrible, it's once." But holistic people never give in to this impulse. Decency means honesty, and they remain so every day, in every act or thought. Appreciate this quality in humans - it is invaluable in our time.
6. Always show gratitude.
We used to assume that thanks still need to earn, just no one is scattered. But holistic nature thank absolutely all people - even the first oncoming. They know that every person deserves respect and in order to treat him in human. Decent people are never rude with waiters and other employees of the service sector.
7. They are modest.
A decent person can be proud of its achievements, and that's right, but at the same time, it is extremely modest. In other words, such people wonderfully understand the difference between such concepts as "confidence" and "arrogance." They know that the first is the power, and the second is a flaw.
They wonderfully learned their strengths, and use them in order to become even better.
8. Always recognize their mistakes.
Who likes to confess that I was mistaken or mistaken? It's not fun at all, you feel humiliated, vulnerable ... But not for decent people! They do not see the problems in recognizing their mistakes when they really allowed them.
You can easily recognize such people ready to admit the first to be mistaken. Decent people are always ready apologized if blamed.
9. They are reliable.
Decent people always keep the word and fulfill their obligations. If they say that you can rely on them, know that your word will restrain, whatever happens.
Decency is always better than you can, and reliability is part of this desire.
