How to understand yourself. How easy it is to learn to understand people "The Brain: A Quick Guide"

Any motorist has an idea of ​​how his car works. This is necessary for many reasons. Firstly, all sorts of unforeseen situations can happen on the road. For example, a car suddenly stalls in the middle of the road. Then the driver will immediately have to figure out how to fix the malfunction on his own. After all, colleagues on the road will not always be nearby, and a tow truck is not cheap. Secondly, knowledge about cars will be needed when updating your own vehicle fleet. Here a person must clearly understand what this or that parameter means.

It is important to have an idea of ​​the principle of the device and the operation of the car.

How to learn to understand cars, including girls

Before a beginner gets on the road, he should get a license. To do this, he needs to complete a driving course. Among the many driving schools, we recommend choosing those that will give initial information about the car's structure and the principles of its operation. Naturally, in order to understand what the instructor is talking about, you need some knowledge of the technique.

It will not be superfluous to buy in a store or find on the Internet books and manuals about the device of the car. They are of two types. The first ones talk about the principle of the car as a whole. Others pay attention to describing a specific car model.

Having learned how to correctly identify the types of car, you can choose the car that suits you best.

When buying your first car, it is important to talk to acquaintances and friends who already have driving experience. You can also take them with you to the store or to the car market. In this case, you should remember the advice received, as they will be useful in the future.

How to choose your first car correctly:

To gain new knowledge, it is also useful to look from time to time in automobile magazines and special thematic forums on the Internet. From glossy magazines you can learn about the latest in the automotive market. Also, there are often good advice from motorists on how to get out of this or that difficult situation. On the forums, you can make useful acquaintances with colleagues.

If I want to know how the engine and other parts of the car work.

It is impossible to understand cars well without knowing the structure of its main parts, in other words, what is under the hood. The main thing in the car is the engine. This is fuel consumption, this is the number of positions in the gearbox. In addition, as practice shows, the lion's share of breakdowns falls on the engine. Therefore, without knowing the principles of its operation, it is difficult to find a suitable spare part.

The best way to learn to understand cars is to learn to understand a car.

In order to get acquainted with the insides of the machine, you should study in detail the instructions for its operation. If it is not enough, then all the necessary descriptions and drawings can be found on the Internet.

In addition to the engine, the battery, generator, brake system and ignition system play a leading role in the car. Without a clear idea of ​​the order of their work, it is also impossible to add up your objective opinion about the machine.

You cannot learn to understand a car without knowledge of the structure of its main parts.

You can make good money on the ability to understand cars. Motorists are probably familiar with such a concept as "tuning". It consists in changing the parameters of the car for an individual order. As a result, a different engine may be installed on the machine or new components added, etc. As a result, the car is often transformed externally.

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The better you understand people, the less disappointment you will encounter. Fascinating, we endow a person with qualities unusual for him, and we are surprised by unexpected actions and words. Learn to see people in their true light.

Sometimes we happen to hear in our address: "I know you well!" - "How so? - we are surprised. - Someone assures that they see right through me, but I myself do not really know myself. I thought I was brave, but yesterday I got cold feet. I thought I was calm, but today. "

How to understand both yourself and people

Radical option

Vladimir Vysotsky in "Song of a Friend" advised to do this:

“If a friend was suddenly

And not a friend, and not an enemy, but so,

If you can't tell right away

Good or bad,

Pull the guy to the mountains, take a chance,

Don't leave him alone

Let him be in conjunction with you alone,

There you will understand who he is. "

And if he “immediately became limp and down, a step stepped on the glacier and wilted, stumbled - and screaming ... don't scold him - drive him away”. “And when you fell off the rocks, he groaned, but held on, ... so, how can you rely on him?”

A good way to get to know friends better, but too extreme. The same as "go to reconnaissance together."

An option that takes time but does not guarantee results

According to the saying, in order to get to know a person well, you need to "eat a pound of salt with him", that is, at least 16 kilograms. According to the calculations of physiologists, on average, each person eats 5 kg of salt per year. This means that it will take them almost 2 years to get to know each other better.

Option three: relying on first impressions

The people say: "the most faithful", "The first thought is from God, the second is from the devil." The "Iron Lady" remarked: "It takes me 10 seconds to form my own impression of a person, and in the future it very rarely changes."

However, not all people think like Thatcher, and in the same way as she does. Therefore, along with the statement that the first impression is the most correct, there is another: "The first impression is deceiving."

Option four: folk wisdom

Once a young man asked a wise old man: "How to learn to understand people: to whom and whom to be afraid?" “First I’ll tell you whom to fear,” said the old man. - Most of all fear the most meek, pious and humble, the one who flatters you, embraces you and swears fidelity. He will betray you first. " - "Who, then, to trust?" - asked the young man in surprise. “Trust the speaker, whatever she is. He will be the first to come to your aid, ”the old man replied.

Option five: learning from the classics

German psychiatrist Karl Leonhard developed a classification of characters, which he described in the first part of the monograph "Accentuated Personalities". Here are demonstrative personalities, excitable, anxious, pedantic, and many others. The most correct conclusions about the type of personality, wrote Karl Leonhard, are made on the basis of observation and interview.

In the second part of the monograph, which is called "Personality in Fiction", he analyzes the characters of the heroes of the works of the classics of world literature: Dostoevsky, Honore de Balzac, Leo Tolstoy, etc.

The doctor also gives his advice on how to understand people. psychological sciences Arkady Egides in the book "How to Understand People, or the Psychological Drawing of a Personality".

“Why is this necessary?” He asks. And he himself answers: “To know what to expect from them, in order to properly interact with them, as well as with them. Describing in detail different psychotypes, the author gives us the opportunity to understand them so that we can see in people, protect ourselves from and manage the situation.

One example: if a person hysterical type screams how he hates you, and leaves "forever" - you know, he will certainly return as soon as you show him increased attention. If, however, silently collects his things and leaves the epileptoid, it really can be forever.

"How to understand people?" - this question usually begins to worry us only after we are greatly mistaken in someone. We thought that next to us was a reliable person, but he disappeared at a difficult moment. And vice versa - the one on whom we did not even hope offered his help. “After all, for sure there are some signals and signs by which you can recognize what kind of person is in front of us,” we think. Yes, they are, but we do not notice them and continue to step on the same rake.

1. Body language and facial expressions

Primarily pay attention to , gestures and facial expressions our interlocutor. Details on how to read the thoughts of others by their gestures, tells the Australian writer, also known as "Mr. Body Language", in the book "Body Language". From it you can learn what it means to clasped fingers, arms crossed on the chest, stroking the chin, rubbing the eyelids and much more. And if we are an attentive reader, a good student and an observant person, we can easily guess the true intentions of our interlocutor.

2. Next - determine the temperament

Who is in front of us? Sanguine, choleric, phlegmatic, melancholic? (Of course, people with this or that in its pure form are very rare, usually these are mixed types with a predominance of one.)

Our friend - ? He is disorganized, but active and cheerful. ? Let's not reproach him for pessimism and drag him into noisy companies. ? We will ask him to help resolve conflict situation, because phlegmatic people are peacemakers. ? No wonder he loves to command.

Emotionally stable sanguine people get along well with emotionally unstable melancholic people, and emotionally stable phlegmatic people complement unstable choleric people.

3. Relying on intuition

It is called a chuyka, a sixth sense, an inner voice, a premonition. We say that with our hearts we sense danger, with our skin we feel unpleasantness. Sometimes we dismiss this sentiment, but later on, more often than not, we regret it.

The man has fascinated us, and we stubbornly do not want to notice the signals given. It can be anxiety, anxiety, a feeling of goose bumps running down the back, discomfort. Something is alarming us, but we ignore the inner voice. And in vain, because he rarely makes mistakes.

True, not everyone has a developed intuition. But this is easy to fix by reading “Development of Intuition. How to make the right decisions without doubt and stress "by the English psychologist Guy Claxton.

4. Removing the masks

“We were so good friends, we were inseparable, but we went to the sea together and it turned out that she had a disgusting character. She is petty, quarrelsome, always unhappy with everything, ”one friend complains about another. “I could hardly stand it and I don’t want to see her again!” “It is simply impossible!” The second takes offense.

What happened? The girls left their comfort zone, found themselves in a non-standard situation, and they had to retreat from their usual behavioral patterns. In fact, they threw off their masks and showed themselves real, namely: selfish, intolerant, unable to build relationships and leave without moral loss.

Another example. In a small work collective, one of the employees lost a brand new smartphone. She assured that even in the morning he was with her, which means that one of her colleagues stole him. Before our eyes, a sweet, friendly girl turned into an angry fury, who had complaints against everyone. The next day she apologized because the ill-fated smartphone was found at home, she simply forgot it. But, as the joke says, "there were spoons, but the sediment remained."

If we want to get to know a person better, then the more extraordinary the situation in which we find ourselves with him, the less he will be prepared for it, the more chances that he will open up, show his inner essence.

What good book do you know about psychology? To better understand people? and got the best answer

Answer from Victoria Kasumova [guru]
I consider the best books on personality psychology: "The Art of Being Oneself" and "The Art of Being Different", at one time these books helped me a lot to understand myself, and also taught me to communicate with people, the ability to understand the secrets of the human soul. The author of these books is In Levi.
Source: Victoria

Answer from 2 answers[guru]

Hey! Here is a selection of topics with answers to your question: What good book on psychology do you know? To better understand people?

Answer from Vladimr ilibaev[newbie]
Gingerbread man

Answer from Jimmy Boy[guru]
Anatomy of human destructiveness. Erich Fromm.
A lot of interesting things about aggressiveness in people.

Answer from Rock "n" rolla[active]
Paul Ekman - "The Psychology of Lies"

Answer from I "am LOCO[guru]

Answer from Ivan Zinoviev[active]
Advise a hogwash!
Human psychological behavior, vyazanos nervous system and the work of the brain, directly of the person himself!
So for a start, read Sechenov. Understand what a general psychology is!

Answer from Boris Rzhevsky[guru]
There is a good and fairly simple, popular book, which is called "How to Understand People or the Psychological Drawing of a Personality". The author, Arkady Egides, is a professional psychologist, but this book is not special, but for a wide circle.

The need to learn to understand people arises most often after a person is deceived several times about others. Those who seem reliable at first glance, people can unexpectedly let you down, the one whom we consider kind and caring hurts us, and someone in whom we did not suspect high spiritual qualities, in fact, turns out to be a real friend and wonderful person ... Since we are all to one degree or another dependent on the people around us, in such an important issue I don’t want to rely on "maybe". How do you learn to understand people? We will talk about this today.

What is worth reading to understand people

Since the topic of today's article is very extensive, I would like to give several references to theoretical material that will be useful to you when moving to. First, be sure to read books from the area body language, gestures, facial expressions that say a lot about a person. If you are not intimidated by some approach, you can also study the materials on physiognomy(character determination by facial features) and psychological characteristics, based on temperament (remember - choleric, sanguine). It will help to better understand people and (Neuro-linguistic programming), since in this area it is very important to be able to read signals given by a person unconsciously and interpret them. If you set a goal, a lot useful information can be found by studying books and articles on personnel affairs(recruiting personnel), because specialists in this field should be able to perfectly understand people during the time that the interview lasts.

Now practice

No matter how many books you read, it is impossible to learn to understand people without practice. So it will take. How to get it?

1. Develop and listen to yours. Often an inner voice tells us(mainly, at the level of sensations or feelings), how to treat a particular person. From someone we have goosebumps and a feeling of anxiety, with other people we immediately feel calm and confident, about the third we just feel that "something is wrong." Intuition tells us what we have not yet had time to realize, but at the subconscious level we have already perceived and recognized. Do not ignore the inner voice, anyway, later you will receive confirmation that your feelings warned you, but there will probably already be some losses.
2. Train mindfulness and. Suppose you have studied and even memorized the meaning of various signals that a person gives in sign language. In order to apply this knowledge in practice, you need maintain concentration at all times on the object of your study and not slip into the unconscious. After five minutes of communication, you can easily forget that you were going to observe and analyze something, and to prevent this from happening, develop the ability to focus on your task.
3. Draw conclusions in an appropriate setting. The opinion that a person can only be known in trouble or extreme situation exists for a reason. In everyday situations, most of us follow certain patterns of behavior, put on "protective" masks for others and may pretend not to be who we are. Of course, I will not advise you to drag the person you want to understand into the mountains or create conditions that threaten his life so that he opens up, and you see it. But be careful and especially observant in any non-standard situation for a person... When he comes out of his own, when there is no opportunity to use reactions and behavior - then you will see the very essence of a person. Because he will make a decision in such a situation by following his own, and you, being around, will understand what these values ​​are and, accordingly, what kind of person is in front of you. The more non-standard this situation is, the easier it is to understand a person.

A grain of wisdom

I think that learning to understand people is possible on my own experience if this experience is not passive, but actively observational. Make your observations, analyze and put conclusions in a mental piggy bank - remember that knowledge gained by your own experience is more valuable than anything gained from the outside. And I would like to end with the words of the sage from the parable of pride and humility: “You can trust those who are easy to communicate with you and always tell you the truth, whatever it may be. These are the people who will be the first to come to your aid. "