— What is the difference between the last album of Stone Sour «Hydrograd» and the previous ones?

— I think on this record we managed to turn to the real rock and roll history. We consciously flirted with the past, but not too seriously. We were able to create a kind of fusion of metal riffs with classic fifths, and I think this idea worked. We explored a lot of different directions and that helped us create a unique album for the band.

- The deluxe edition has a cover of Soundgarden's "Outshined" - this is not your first tribute (The band's frontman committed suicide in May 2017 - approx. "Gazeta.Ru"). You also paid tribute to Linkin Park's Chester Bennington, who killed himself last summer. In this regard, the question is: can music have a therapeutic effect on a person? After all, Chris and Chester, being great artists, in the end did not cope with their problems.

— I can speak for myself. Music helps me. She helped me deal with depression. Music helps ease inner pain, and sometimes that's enough. Sometimes all you need is to take a little break, and just at those moments the music saves. Many people struggle with depression through therapy, medication, and even drugs. But I think that music in this case helps many people almost better. We have already lost many musicians who have not been able to overcome depression, but I am convinced that music has helped many, and therefore we have not left yet more people.

- On the official website of Stone Sour, you can now see Russian words and even a portrait of Lenin. And you also have a tattoo with your own name in Russian! Is this some kind of special relationship to Russia - or do you like the Soviet aesthetics?

— The reason why I have a tattoo in Russian is very simple: I really like the way the Cyrillic alphabet looks. I remember the first time I got a Russian visa about 12 years ago, and I liked the look of it so much that I then went to a tattoo parlor and asked the master to stamp my name on the visa ("Korey Todd Taylor" - approx. "Gazeta.Ru").

As for our site, which is now designed in the style of the last album, it has Russian motives. It's even in its name. And I wanted the design of the site to somehow reflect this.

Slipknot released their new single "All Out Life" on Halloween, and it sounds like an early band record like the Iowa album. Why did you decide to go back to your roots?

“It was not a conscious decision. We did not all sit down together and decide in which direction to move on. We just followed our musical mood, and it turned out to be very heavy and dark. I myself at that moment felt the need to write something that would literally hit the listener right in the face with its aggression. And I can say that there will be a lot of this on the new Slipknot album. When I heard the recorded material, I immediately thought that this is exactly what I need now. It's just that the circumstances during the recording of the album were such that on a subconscious level, all the band members needed a heavy sound.

--Tell us about the new Slipknot masks. What do they symbolize?

— I can't speak for the rest of the members, but for me masks have always carried two meanings: a reflection of our music and a personal rebirth. In the mask, I appear in front of the audience as a completely different person. We all change during our lives: we grow, we mature, we reconsider our views. I'm different on every album. I change and evolve with the music. On the upcoming album, my mask will be very dark. If I can get the mood of our new music right, it will be the most severe and [fucking] mask ever.

- Even "worse" than in 2005?

Yes, even worse! Every time I come up with a new mask, there is a certain mood behind it. This time, I hope everything will be very, very good.

— What do you think about modern popular music? Now rap has risen to incredible heights, and many believe that hip-hop has already taken the place of rock music. What do you think about it?

- This is an interesting topic. And I have two views on this issue. On the one hand, a genre is a genre. Rock is rock and rap is rap. On the other hand, nowhere is it said that these genres cannot influence each other. I was obviously influenced by a lot of directions. This is rap, punk, metal and even country. And I am very proud of this, because I try to use all my background in my work.

However, to be pedantic, all these names are only a convention. Both rock musicians and hip-hop artists can easily be called pop stars because they are popular, and technically this would be true. However, people have developed a certain system of coordinates in their heads over the years, and a rock star can hardly be called a pop musician, and the performers themselves, working in the pop genre, will also not be completely satisfied. These conventions help us understand what to expect from this or that artist.

All of these titles are already in our heads, and when Kanye West proposes to nominate himself in the rock category, it's insulting because it feels like it's easy for him to write a good rock song. This also works in reverse direction when rock musicians express confidence that they can write good hip-hop. I think that any genre should be respected. And that is why many rockers or punks get so angry when one of the hip-hop stars begins to identify themselves with rock music.

My problem with Kanye when he calls himself the greatest rock star is that it sounds too selfish.

He says such words about himself when he is in good health and continues to make new music! Let's wait 30 years first and see if he does the same thing they did at their age. You called yourself the greatest rock star when you were alive! It's insulting.

- Is there any modern rapper that you could call a rock musician?

- In my opinion, Tek Nine is a musician who simply endures everyone on stage. He is my favorite hip hop artist to date.

What rappers do you still listen to?

- I have in my playlist a lot of those on whose music I grew up - NWA, Ice Cube,. Of the relatively younger -. His latest album ["Kamikaze"] is very good. There is some kind of anger and sincerity in it. I absolutely loved his disses on all those young caramel and sweet rap stars.

- The first time you came to Moscow more than ten years ago. Did you manage to see the city then? And what did you like most in our capital?

— I managed to take a little walk around Moscow. But, for obvious reasons, I spent very little time on this. However, I was able to see many places in the city. In general, there are a lot of beauties in Russia, and not only in Moscow. St. Petersburg is just amazing. I love to travel, especially to visit different historical places. And I'm very lucky that I became a musician, because I have the opportunity to visit so many countries and cities that many people can only dream of.

The Russian leg of the Stone Sour tour will open on November 13 in Rostov-on-Don and end with concerts in St. Petersburg on November 15 and in Moscow on November 16.

We are all human and rely on each other to survive. In fact, in hunter-gatherer cultures, abandoning the tribe means death. So it's no wonder we care about what other people think of us!

But if you allow it to affect you, you will limit your creativity, alienate people who in some way elevate you, waste your opportunities to receive financial freedom and in the end, you simply will not be able to boldly pursue your true goal.

Fear of what others think not only limits your potential, it even leads to disease. Fear will not only make you lonely, broken, and prevent you from fulfilling your calling, it will also increase the risk of dangerous cardiovascular diseases, cancer, autoimmune diseases, inflammation, chronic pain, diabetes, and even the common cold.

So how do you know if you're too afraid of other people's opinions of you? Here are some significant warnings. Listen to them.

You can't speak the truth

How often do you shut up because you're afraid that if you talk, you'll jeopardize your job, lose your lover, alienate a friend, or be rejected by your parents? How many times have you swallowed your truth (and with it your honesty, self-respect, and openness)?

You are not asked to voice all your thoughts. But every time you fail to express what is meaningful to you, what you think is right and right, you activate a stress response that weakens your body's natural self-healing mechanisms and puts yourself at risk. Plus, you disturb your mental balance. And if you do not learn to follow the cries of your soul, to say what you think is necessary in each specific situation, the Universe can deal you a crushing blow in the form of deplorable consequences.

You become a social chameleon

Do you know people who change their mood (and appearance, and their favorite band, and even political party) each time they enter a new social circle? Even people with self-respect become almost the same if they are surrounded by others who are not like them.

If you feel that you are trying to fit in with the social environment, then you are probably afraid that other people will not like you, because you are not like that at all, you do not have common interests. And sometimes you are right. The whole truth is that you will not feel comfortable in any environment with your beliefs and views. But it's worth taking the risk, because only when you take the risk and act accordingly will you really find your company.

you are lying

If you think that your truth is not welcome, then you will have a tendency to distort the truth, to hide the truth or lies. It doesn't matter if you are a man or a woman, but it is especially common among men who hide the truth from a woman because they are afraid that if they tell her everything, she will run away or reject. He is sure that if he dares to tell the truth about what he feels or what he thinks, it will dishonor him.

Of course, women are often guilty of lying, and men are often guilty of being ashamed of their truth. Often it turns out that the ladies blame their gentlemen for dishonesty. Excuse me, but how can you be honest if after that they will be shamed or reprimanded? This complete failure. We better not be afraid of the truth, but find the courage to love and respect each other.

You apologize for everything you like

For example, you say, "Yes, I listen to bands from the 1980s, although it might be stupid." And after this phrase, you blush, feel ashamed, assume that the other person will condemn you, will laugh at you. Then you start pretending, saying that it was a joke, apologizing, agreeing with the opinions of others.

And it happens that a person, for example, talks about his admiration for Lady Gaga. You immediately support him, admire with him, although in fact you cannot stand her. It's just fear. The same situation can be observed in one of the scenes with Julia Roberts in the movie Runaway Bride, where she does not know if she likes eggs for breakfast because she imitates the man she is dating. You forget that those who truly love you need you, not some cheap copy.

You avoid social situations

If you are an introvert, you will understand that not everyone likes the nightlife. But introverts still crave company. But if they are afraid, they will immediately leave even the most interesting company. But even the most ardent extroverts avoid social situations, because they worry beyond measure about what others will think.

You can’t be afraid to be yourself, all the time waiting for some kind of rejection. It is necessary to overcome the fear of what others think of you, it is important to always remain a complete person.

You hide your quirks

Do you love hamburgers and pizza, do you like to overeat this junk food at night? Do you know all the best recipes for these dishes and all the technology? But here's the problem - you do not understand fashion, as is customary in society today. If you are too afraid of what others will think, you will be forced to follow the crowd. It activates stress reactions that will push your body to diseases. And by doing so, you hide your true interests, although there may be another fan of hamburgers in your environment with whom you would find a common language.

You constantly wonder what the other person is thinking

You are very puzzled, because you are constantly trying to read other people's minds to make sure who to be and what to say in a given situation. And you are not really present at this moment in the conversation with your mind. And, of course, you do not pay attention to your beautiful, unique soul, which rewards you with thoughts and feelings.

When you are dealing with your fear of what everyone else is thinking, try to stay in the present, try to be free from fear.

You become a perfectionist

The desire for perfection is a property of the soul, the desire to flawlessly perform every task. But perfectionism comes from the fear of rejection, the fear of rejection.

You hide your inner light

Think back to the times when you had good times in your life. You want to scream it from the roof! But you don't. Because you're afraid it will sound like a boast. Or you're worried about someone else judging you. Or that you'll make someone else jealous. Thus, you are losing ground. But when you do this, you deprive everyone of the opportunity to see your inner light, your excitement, your thoughts. Imagine how much more interesting and fulfilling life could be!

You hide behind a mask

You fragment your personality. When you are wearing a mask, you are acting in one direction. You do things differently when you work with your business colleagues. In church, in a dance club, and in a yoga class, you behave very differently. If you let go of your fear of what others think, you will have the courage to answer the ultimate question: Who are you really?

Then your whole life will become a love letter to that true self. You are too beautiful, smart and unique to hide behind a faceless mask that robs you of your individuality. So, once you stop caring about what everyone else thinks, you can completely "get into" your true, authentic self.

". Very important topic, VERY! Because it's really difficult to communicate with some people - you'll talk for half an hour, and then you have to recover for half a day. They suck energy - and do it very effectively. Those 7 tricks that are described below really work. The main thing is to remember them, to observe them. And don't be offended ;)

The people who are the hardest to love need love the most. ~ Peaceful warrior (This is such a book. And a movie based on the book. Interesting)

Have you ever dealt with negative people? If yes, then you know that it can be terribly difficult.

I remember my former colleague, who was just like that. During our conversations, she endlessly complained about colleagues, work and life. At the same time, she was very cynical about people in general, constantly doubting their intentions. It was not a pleasure to talk to her. At all.

After our first conversation, I felt completely exhausted. Although we only talked for 20-30 minutes, I didn't have the mood or energy to do anything else. There was a feeling that someone had sucked the life out of me, and it took about three hours for this effect to wear off.

When we talked later, the same thing happened. She was so pessimistic that her negative energy seemed to transfer to me after the conversation, and even left an unpleasant aftertaste in my mouth. And you know, it bothered me a lot. I would gladly refuse to communicate with her, if I could.

Then one day I decided that I needed to develop a plan of action - how to deal with negative people. After all, she is not the only such person I will meet in my life. I thought, “For every negative person I meet now, there are thousands of people I might meet one day. If I can handle it, I can handle all the others."

With that in mind, I brainstormed the best way to deal with negative people.

In the end, I came up with a few key tricks to do it effectively. They can be very helpful in building good relationships with such people. And although I now deal with positive people more often, these steps come to the rescue when I sometimes meet negative people.

If there is one in your life right now negative person you don't have to suffer from it. You are not alone in your problem - I have encountered negative people quite often and have learned to deal with them. Let them try to put you down - you can choose how to react and what to do.

So, 7 tricks to help you deal with negative people.

Technique 1. Don't let yourself be drawn into negativity.

One thing I've noticed is that negative people tend to focus on the bad things and ignore the good ones. They exaggerate the problems they face, and therefore their situation seems much worse than it really is.

The first time you interact with a negative person, listen carefully and offer help if needed. Give support - let him (she) know that he is not alone. However, make a note somewhere. If a person continues to complain about the same problem even after several discussions, this is a sign that you need to let go.

First, try changing the subject. If he/she gets into a negative tailspin, let him/her continue, but don't get caught up in the negative. Give simple answers like "Yes, I see" or "Yeah". When he/she reacts positively, respond in the affirmative and with enthusiasm. If you do this often enough, he/she will soon realize what is going on and become more positive in communication.

Trick #2: Use Groups

Dealing with a negative person can be very tiring. When I talked with my negative colleague, I was completely exhausted for several hours, although the conversation itself lasted only 20-30 minutes. This happened because I took on all her negativity.

To solve this problem, have someone else beside you when you are talking to a negative person. In fact, the more people, the better. Then the negative energy will be shared between you and other people, and you will not have to bear its weight alone.

The added bonus of having someone else around is that other people help bring out different sides of your personality. When others are around, they can help bring out the other, positive side of a negative person. I have experienced this before and it has helped me to see a "negative" person in a more positive light.

Tactic #3: Objectify Comments

Negative people can be quite critical at times. They periodically make comments that can hurt a lot, especially when directed at you.

For example, I had a friend who was very tactless. She liked to make various disparaging and critical comments. At first, I was worried about her words, wondering why she was so critical every time she spoke. I also thought maybe something was wrong with me - maybe I'm not good enough. However, when I watched how she communicates with our mutual friends, I realized that she behaves the same way with them. Her comments weren't personal attacks - they were her usual behavior.

Realize that a negative person usually does not want to hurt you - he or she is simply trapped in their own negativity. Learn to deal with negative comments. Object them. Instead of taking his/her words personally, take them as another point of view. Weed out the husks and see if you can benefit or learn from what is being said.

Trick #4: Switch to more enjoyable topics

Some negative people get turned on by certain topics. For example, one friend turns into a "victim of circumstances" whenever it comes to work. No matter what I say, he'll keep complaining about a job that's just awful and he won't be able to stop.

If a person is deeply rooted in his negativity, in his problems, the solution may be to change the subject. Start a new topic to cheer up. Simple things—movies, daytime events, mutual friends, hobbies, happy news—can make a conversation much easier. Support it in areas in relation to which the person feels positive emotions.

Tactic #5: Choose Who You Spend Your Time With Carefully

As Jim Rohn put it, “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.” This quote means that who you spend time with has a huge impact on the kind of person you become.

I think this is very true. Think about the time you spend with negative people - do you feel good or bad after that? The same goes for positive people. How do you feel after spending time with them?

Whenever I spend time with negative people, I feel heaviness afterwards, a bad aftertaste. When I meet positive people, I feel a surge of optimism and energy. This effect remains even after communication. As you spend more time with negative people, you gradually become negative too. It may be temporary at first, but over time the effect will start to take root in you.

If you feel that certain people in your life are negative, be aware of how much time you spend with them. I advise limiting the duration - it can help. For example, if they want to hang out with you but you don't like their company, learn to say no. If it's a meeting or a phone call, set a limit on how long it will last. Stick to the topic of discussion, and don't let it go beyond a certain amount of time.

Tactic #6: Identify Areas Where You Can Make Positive Changes

Negative people are negative because they lack love, positivity, and warmth. Often they act in such a way as to create a barrier that will protect them from the world.

One of the best ways to help them is to bring positivity into their lives. Think about what is bothering the person right now and think about how you can help him (her). It shouldn't be too hard, and you definitely shouldn't do it if you don't want to. The key is to be sincere in wanting to help, and show him/her a different perspective on life.

Some time ago, I had a friend who didn't like her job. She did not like the environment and corporate culture. There was a vacancy at my (already former) workplace, so I offered her this opportunity. She eventually got the job, has been doing it for 3 years now, and doing it perfectly.

Today she leads a much happier, more active and optimistic life. She is definitely more positive than a few years ago. While I won't bet that she'll be completely satisfied with her career just yet, I feel gratified that I helped out a little at the right time. Also, there is always something you can do to help another – look around and help in any way you can. A small action on your part can lead to big changes in your relationship.

Technique #7: Stop talking to them.

If all else fails, limit contact with these people or even completely remove them from your life.

Instead of spending your time with negative people, focus on positive people instead. In the past, I spent a lot of time with negative people trying to help them. It took a lot of energy from me and was often completely useless. I have revised my methods. Now I prefer to work with positive friends and business partners. It turned out to be both more pleasant and more useful.

Remember that you are building your life and it is up to you to decide how you want it to be. If negative people make you feel bad, work on it using the 7 steps outlined. By doing the right thing, you can noticeably change your relationship.

Why support hotlines are needed and how they help people

Thanks to the #faceofdepression flash mob and the public discussion of mental disorders and psychological problems, it became clear that many people need professional psychological help at different periods of their lives - but not everyone can afford it.

Someone does not have money for a paid specialist, someone is ashamed or afraid to go to the doctor. For such situations, there are helplines, crisis centers and support services where you can speak out or ask for advice. Usually their employees remain behind the scenes: for those who contacted them, this is just a voice. Especially for Meduza, three specialists from psychological support services, including those for children and HIV-positive people, told how their work works and what Russians are most concerned about right now.

Dina Valeeva - psychologist, coordinator of the first emergency phone in St. Petersburg psychological help

Our emergency psychological help line is a social project of the Institute of Psychotherapy and Counseling "Harmony", the service has existed since 1989. It's free, anonymous, private, and 24/7: we don't assign a number or ask for a name if the person doesn't want to. The consultant also has the right not to introduce himself or use a pseudonym - this is also due to our security.

Many people think that you only need to call the helpline when something terrible has happened to you. But in general, these phones exist so that people can share their experiences on less difficult occasions. calls in connection with emergencies(for example, suicide or experienced violence) - 1-3%. They don't come every day. Most often, people call us in connection with a crisis. Job dismissal, divorce, separation - any events that can cause difficult feelings. They called us when there was an explosion in the metro in St. Petersburg in April. There was a lot of information both on the Internet and on TV - and, probably, at home or at work, it seemed inappropriate for people to say that this information flow is traumatic.

Other topics for calls are health, love and family relationships. Less often - problems at work. There are calls about violence, addiction (including gambling), self-realization, and, of course, there are calls from clients with special needs. People with certain psychological characteristics or a psychiatric diagnosis call us all the time: often this is the only way for them to communicate with the outside world. They don't need advice or instructions - they just want to say they went to the store or read a poem. We give them the opportunity to share something, but there are time limits: the line cannot be constantly busy so that a person in a crisis also has the opportunity to get through.

I do not have prepared answers for different situations, whether it is unrequited love or problems with parents. I try to tune in to the same wave, I even take into account the pace of speech. If a person called the phone, it means that he wants empathy, participation, support. And the conversation always focuses on feelings. I try to track the state of the interlocutor at the beginning and at the end. Did the tension (or despair, or sadness, or pain) go away because someone shared this feeling with him.

There are situations when the consultant has the right to hang up. For example, if the rapist calls and starts savoring the details of what he did. We do not talk to drunk people: we explain that we are ready to provide support, but first the interlocutor needs to sober up. If the consultant realizes that he is being used for sexual purposes, he also ends the conversation.

I am not a supporter of written counseling, although it exists. When you write, you need to formulate, and it turns out that this is about the area of ​​​​thinking, not feelings. Live communication with a live person is more effective. I hear a voice, breathing, I track other moments that may be important to me. In addition, if the interlocutor is in a state of acute grief, such hopelessness that there is no strength even to move, or, conversely, anger or rage - how then to print? Emoticons cannot convey all the emotions we experience. And yes, calling a stranger is an effort. But who said that psychological help should be easy? Internal changes often involve some effort.

St. Petersburg weather is the talk of the town, and we also happen to discuss it. It happens that a person who does not come from St. Petersburg, who moved here to live, calls and says that at first he was very inspired by the monuments of art and architecture, but gradually the dullness began to crush. We rarely have sun. Then we begin to jointly look for a resource - each person has his own recipe for how to support himself when everything seems to be bad.

There are bright calls during which I understand that my work is very important for me and for the person. And it's not always something extreme. For example, one day a child called and asked to be escorted to the apartment by phone while he was taking the elevator. Parents are at work, and I was ashamed to say that I couldn’t go into the entrance, because it was scary. For me it was very significant.

Kirill Barsky - Head of the programs of the charitable foundation to fight AIDS "Steps"

According to official data, more than 800 thousand people with HIV infection live in Russia today. However, the all-Russian free state hotline for prevention and treatment of HIV/AIDS, which operated from 2006 to 2013, is no longer operational. It has no funding. But there are numbers you can call for information, help and support - for example, the number of our foundation founded by HIV-positive people. We have a social information Center where self-help groups take place, counseling, testing, medical and social support services are provided. The phone is picked up by "peer consultants" - that is, people with a positive HIV status. Sometimes we receive up to 50 calls a day, especially if something happened: the medicine was not delivered to pharmacies on time or a high-profile incident got into the media.

The most common cause calls - difficulties with making a diagnosis. "What do I need to do next? Will I live? We tell what HIV infection is, we try to explain that no, not everything is lost. Catchphrase: "We grieve you, you will live, there is a cure." Most of the time, the callers don't even know it. It is especially difficult for a person with HIV status in small towns with a population of ten thousand people, because the offices of infectious disease doctors at hospitals, KVD [dermal and venereal dispensaries], polyclinics are in full view. People are afraid to go there and decide to move. But even Muscovites do not immediately seek help and stay in prostration for a long time, because in our country there is no high-quality pre- and post-test counseling about HIV. At best, they find "peer counselors" or HIV-positive people. At worst, and there are many such cases, they end up in the hospital in a very bad condition and get out for a long time. People don't trust Russian medicine and even can not imagine that there is a free quality treatment. Meanwhile, HIV infection is provided better than any nosology in the country.

We listen to other people's stories and tell our own. For example, I have been living with HIV infection since the age of 18 and for a long time did not want to accept my diagnosis. I ran away from the AIDS center for more than seven months, having learned about my status - I'm busy, I have a university, I have things to do! And only when I realized that I could no longer climb from the first to the second floor without being out of breath, I again came to the doctor. I am now 26. I have been taking antiretroviral therapy without interruption for six years. I have more than a thousand immune cells, which is an excellent indicator, especially for the city.

We are called by any people - everyone you can imagine. Doctors, academics, professors. I once consulted five priests in four months. Most calls are sexually transmitted. And most often people are in a relationship: someone brought from outside, someone was infected before the relationship, but did not know about the status, someone was abused. Very often people become completely helpless, because they do not expect such a turn of events: “After all, I am leading healthy lifestyle life, I have a stable relationship with my wife!” If necessary, we take people for escort - we bring them by the hand to the AIDS center and help them register.

If the second partner remains negative, there is a very high risk that the relationship will fall apart. Because people are scared, because in most cases it is not known where the virus came from. My personal example - I got HIV status, being in a stable relationship, and which of us brought the infection, we still do not know.

AIDS phobia in our society is still very pronounced. It happens that people call and ask: “I took the sacrament, did I get HIV infection?” One day, the mother of an HIV-positive man called and asked if she had done the right thing by washing the apartment with bleach and setting aside separate dishes for her son. XXI Century!

It happens that people who deny the existence of HIV infection call us. If this is a call from parents, we try to motivate them as much as possible to contact a specialist who works with parents. If a person just wants to prove something to himself with this call, then we are not for them and it is pointless to enter into a dialogue. Most often, these are people who have been diagnosed, but they do not want to accept it. Whether a person will turn to services after a conversation or not is his decision. Our task is not to force or persuade, but to support and help a person realize as much as possible. Unfortunately, there are times when at the end of the call the person still says: no, I won't go. And here we can do nothing, it is his right.

I often hear from experts: yes, who can cry from HIV infection now, this is such nonsense. This is not true. This is a chronic incurable disease, without treatment it is fatal. In addition, HIV in the public mind is still associated with the marginalized - drug users, sex workers. The stigma hasn't gone away. Fortunately, it rarely develops into action. But discrimination still exists - even in Moscow. A recent case: a colleague of mine was badly bitten by a dog. We went to the emergency room, they calmly helped him, understanding the status. And then he had to go to the clinic to get a tetanus shot. The nurse called 20 hospitals in front of us, they all said: “No, let him go to Falcon Mountain.” Why? What is the problem with injection?

Unfortunately, free counseling is not available in all regions of Russia, because the state system still does not really understand where and how to support local NGOs, activist consultants and self-help groups, and there are practically no international donors left. Everything is relatively in order in Moscow, St. Petersburg and Yekaterinburg. But even then we survive on moral and strong-willed: 90% of the work of our foundation is volunteering.

Alina Gromova - head of the children's helpline of the Center for Emergency Psychological Assistance of the Moscow State University of Psychology and Education

Usually children call to talk about relationships - with peers or in the family. Frequent topics are conflicts with parents, emotional coldness. Rarely - violence, cruelty. But since all calls are anonymous, even in this case we cannot directly influence the development of events. Everything is done through a conversation with the child: if he is ready to open up, he leaves contacts, and we contact the guardianship authorities or other services that can help.

However, it is not easy to convince him of this, because the prospect of being in an orphanage is even more frightening. We explain that there are intermediate stages, there are crisis centers that work with parents. But usually children are not inclined to change the situation radically, they call because today is especially difficult, and it is still tolerable. Of course, we say that it is not normal to be subjected to violence, both physical and psychological. But more often than not, underprivileged kids are just waiting to go to dorm college and finally run away from home.

On the other side of the scale are children from whom parents expect a lot - and they do not withstand this pressure. Sometimes, under the story “he is an excellent student with us, everything is fine,” too high parental ambitions, efforts for someone and torment for oneself can be hidden. Against this background, the so-called tunnel consciousness can even develop, when the whole world narrows down to the need to get an A in the exam. If it doesn't work out, that's it, life is over. And then we work to expand consciousness, we say - well, imagine yourself in ten years, what will this five give you, how will it affect your life?

Suicide is generally a common topic: children can call and tell that they have thoughts, intentions, plans. Or it can even be a current suicide - when the subscriber has already drunk the pills or is standing on the window, near the road. It is difficult to explain the motivation: sometimes it is fear, sometimes the desire to live, sometimes the inability to call a loved one and say goodbye. Sometimes it's indescribable - just wanted to dial a number and talk to this stranger. In any emergency, we try to find out the address and call an ambulance.

"Blue whales", of course, also did not pass by our phone. Teenagers called with the words "I tried to join the group, now I'm scared, what if they kill my parents." Anxious parents called, who flipped through all the tapes of the children and revealed all their passwords in order, if anything, to prevent suicide, which nothing even hinted at. There were many violations of boundaries and unnecessary panic, but for the first time some parents paid attention to the life of their children, and the “blue whales” became a marker that there are problems.

It happens that parents do not notice, do not see the difficulties, thinking that they are doing everything possible for the child. There was a call from a parent whose child is doing well in school and is attending nine other clubs. There is no social communication, because the family lives in a gated community. And everything seems to be fine, but then he joined the group, began to talk about death ... At first, his parents tried to disown the problem: it’s still wonderful, a thousand and one circles, he studies for five, why does he need these whales? Admitting your mistakes is not easy at all. But the feeling of guilt is still present, albeit deep: maybe I'm doing something wrong, maybe I need to change my way of upbringing, moderate my ambitions? In this case, the conversation came to the conclusion that the group for the child was the only place where he could communicate on any topic of interest to him and he was encouraged there.

Younger children call with fears. I watched a horror movie with my brother, and now it seems that there are monsters everywhere. “It” is popular right now, and I wouldn’t be surprised if there are a million calls about the fact that a clown is sitting somewhere and waiting with this balloon. And once one of the parents called and said that the child had a fear that someone was watching him, like a man. When we started to find out the details, it turned out that the child’s grandfather had recently died, they didn’t take him to the funeral and explained that the grandfather is now in heaven and looks down on you. Children have a very specific mindset. The child began to see a man in dark corners.

Teenagers call with experiences that may seem frivolous to us. “My girlfriend took to write off, and when the teacher caught us, she said that she gave it to write off. She also meets my boyfriend, took me away, and behind my back calls me a fool. But here she is my best friend. I don't know what to do." But this is important. At this age, teenagers determine for themselves what friendship, loyalty, honor, love, justice are. And it makes no sense to say: "Find yourself another girlfriend." The psychologist, through leading questions, clarifies what the subscriber wants. Here's a best friend doing this. What do you feel at this moment? What is friendship for you? What is happening now - friendship? How would you like to change the situation?

Of the relatively new topics - blackmail in social networks. Calling girls who met someone, sent a photo in the nude. And now a person is blackmailing them: he asks for a photo from a new angle or a video. If you refuse, all your friends will receive these photos (a screenshot of the list of friends is attached). Public shame is very scary for girls. And they don't know what to do, how to tell their parents.

There are also pranks, but usually consultants feel them well: you start asking clarifying questions, and the child “crumbles”. Sometimes in this way children win back a traumatic situation that needs to be experienced. Once, the children called us several times to tell us that they had killed a cat. We spent half a day on this topic. At some point, the consultant asked what happened to them, where did such cruel details come from. And it turned out that they saw a downed cat in the morning. A big company, you can’t openly show weakness, fear, but you need to comprehend the situation. Laughter is a normal reaction, it happens that in stressful situation you laugh, not cry. The consultant sympathized, said that it is rather difficult to accept death and it is scary to think about it. He voiced their experiences and possible emotions, explained that a vivid reaction to such an event is normal. The children's emotional tension subsided, the topic ceased to be exciting, and the calls stopped.

Varnasrama-dharma. Perfect social organization. Reflections Khakimov Alexander Gennadievich

What worries the person?

What worries the person?

One of the causes of concern is the external environment, because it is changeable by nature. Imagine that you don't like the circumstances. Then you will naturally wait for them to change. Or vice versa, the circumstances around are such that one could only dream of. Then you will not want to part with them, and there will be a fear of a change in circumstances.

Another example: you love someone. This also brings anxiety, even more and even deeper, from morning to evening. And if you hate someone, then again there is a big problem in the mind. If you don't know the person well, worry again. In the crowded crowd, continuous anxiety. It's even scarier to be on a deserted street in the evening.

So life is based on worries, which are not really its essence. The essence of life is movement and new discoveries. Upward movements of the soul and constant vertical openings are needed when a person makes efforts to acquire spiritual experience, since movements and openings on the material level pass only horizontally, and therefore increase anxiety. Such anxieties do not decorate our lives, but rather darken them, because they force us to live in a struggle with horizontal neighbors. In other words, anxiety makes us live the way we live now.

The main concerns come to us not from outside, but from within. The source of inner disturbances is the mind, which, oddly enough, is constantly looking for them. The fact is that the human mind is most depressing to be in a state of boredom, it comes to him from a state of rest. Boredom becomes a real suffering, much more than what worries and anxieties bring. Therefore, life in anxiety seems more fulfilling. But...

This text is an introductory piece.

The spirit of man The spirit in man constitutes the highest side of his nature, where there is "consciousness and free-reason, with the fear of God, conscience and dissatisfaction with anything created" . It is "that power or that side inner life which is directed towards God

§ 124. The necessity of Divine help for the restoration of man, if possible on the part of man. 1) Three great evils were committed by man, not standing in the primitive covenant with God:

Don't worry about whether they love you or not. Only you love yourself! You love everyone! - Advised the Elder. - But at the same time, carefully keep a prayer secretly within yourself. Happy is that monk who has learned to love everyone in secret. He does not require love from others, he is not interested in being loved

22. Continuation of the redemptive restoration of fallen man. The participation of the whole Holy Trinity in our salvation. The procedure for arousing good feelings in a saved person from the Spirit of God. Participation in this business of the person himself. Zeal for salvation as the first condition for achieving

The moral nature of man. Primitive perfection of the world and man According to the optimistic view, the world and man are in a normal state; they are essentially pure and good. Evil is an accidental spot, a shadow, easily removed by the forces and means of the person himself, his

4:17-6:9 The call to leave the life of the “old man” and live according to the laws of the new man revealed in Jesus This theme echoes the calls in Col. 3:5 - 4:2. In Col. Paul gives a description of the Christian life, mainly contrasting the “higher” with the transient and vain,

3. You are disturbed by the call to sacrifice The second commandment strikes at the very root of materialism. This problem is so serious that I want to present you with a third benchmark by which you can understand whether money and the things purchased with it prevent you from having saving

10. What exists has already been given a name, and it is known that it is a man, and that he cannot quarrel with someone who is stronger than him. 11. There are many things that increase vanity: what is better for a person? 12. For who knows what is good for a man in life, all the days of his vain life,

11. It is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth defiles a person. (Mark 7:15 with a slight difference in expression). When the Pharisees accused the disciples of eating with unwashed hands, the Savior says that no food defiles a person. But if

19. for out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies - 20. these defile a person; but eating with unwashed hands does not defile a person. (Mark 7:23). Christ did not abolish the law of Moses and did not say that every kind of food or

Chapter 6. Remote interaction of a living person with the spirit of a physically deceased person

5. I will also demand your blood, in which is your life, I will demand it from every beast, I will also demand the soul of a person from the hand of a man, from the hand of his brother, "I will also demand your blood, in which your life ... from every beast. .." These words provide excellent confirmation of what we have just cited.

10. They said to him: No, our lord; your servants have come to buy food; 11. we are all children of one person; we are honest people; your servants have not been spies. 12. He said to them, No, you have come to look for the nakedness of this land. 13. They said: We, thy servants, are twelve brothers; we are sons

Chapter 1558: The Words of the Almighty: “And therefore We prescribed to the children of Israel: if someone kills a person, not for (killing) a person and not for spreading evil on the earth, (it will be equivalent to) as if he killed all people, but the one who revives him, as if he revived everyone

Conversation 45 In the same conversation, the very great affinity of man with God is shown.