Rules of communication between children and adults. The culture of communication between children and adults and peers as a constituent basis of the culture of behavior. How to teach a child to understand the time: an easy way

No matter how trite it may sound, you really need to communicate with adult children as with adults. Once a child was completely dependent on you and could not eat on his own and tie his shoelaces, but those days are long gone. If you take a closer look at your son or daughter, you will surely find a completely independent young man who makes money without any problems, makes dumplings for himself and crosses the road to green light... The old condescending, protective manner of communication is no longer relevant.

They have their own opinion

In childhood, children often take the side of their parents, fearful of losing their love or not having their own opinion about US policy towards countries in the Middle East, and therefore agreeing with the words of their father in order to please. The grown-up child has acquired his own judgments and does not hesitate to express them. If you want to build a normal relationship with your child - take into account his words. Of course, you have the right to disagree with him, but you should not dismiss him and assure that the grown-up child is still too little and does not understand anything. If you only need an attentive and non-contradictory listener for your monologues, it is better to get a cat or a dog.

They may not be your only incentive to live.

Often, a child becomes the only meaning of his parents' life. When he grows up, the father and mother feel old and unnecessary, and do their best to keep the child at home. The more the parents press, the more actively the child resists. Get out of this vicious circle. Learn to enjoy your life, not the life of your son or daughter. And then the child will be able to communicate with you as with an adult, an interesting, accomplished person.

Give advice to a grown child when he asks for it. He won't die unless you tell him to dress warmly outside and take an umbrella with you. Your child is able to decide for himself what he likes, where he wants to study and work, with whom to be friends and build relationships. Just let him do it.

But they need respect

Most parents love their children, but rarely respect them. But this is a prerequisite for building strong and trusting relationships. If your child has grown a good man, then you already have something to respect and be proud of. Surely, if you wish, you can find other advantages in your own child: perhaps it is successfully studying at the university, knows English language, and during the holidays he volunteers to the north to help the cubs of fur seals.

Olga Chusovitina
Conversation "Rules of Etiquette"

Rules of etiquette

People know from childhood

"What's happened - etiquette» .

Etiquette are magic rules that will help you become a well-mannered, polite and friendly person. Knowing these regulations, you will be able to more easily and simply communicate with your friends, parents, loved ones and completely strangers to you. You can easily learn how to say hello correctly, give gifts and receive them, how to visit, talk on the phone and much more ...

Well, are you ready to learn? Then get down to business!

Welcome rules

Rules greetings are a very important step in learning rules of etiquette... After all, the first thing we do when we meet a familiar person is to greet him.

It is very important to know that well-mannered person never expects to be greeted. Don't let yourself get ahead of yourself - do it yourself, especially if you meet a friend who is older than you.

It's indecent to wave your arms and shout "Into the crow's throat" if the people you would like to say hello to are far away from you. It will be enough, meeting their gaze, just to nod affably to them.

Loud, surprised whoops: "Ba - who do I see", "finally", "where have you been".

Do not be afraid to say hello to a person once again if you have met him more than once during the day. Greet him with a smile, or a nod of your head, or a light wave of your hand.

Rules of conduct at the table

Don't put your elbows on the table: they can interfere with a neighbor, and they take up a lot of space. It is very indecent to swing in a chair.

Don't talk with your mouth full - chew and swallow, then talk, don't chomp - try to eat soundlessly.

To make it easier to chew, do not bite off too large pieces.

Put as much food on your plate as you can eat.

Meat served in a large piece is usually eaten with a fork and with a knife: fork - in the left hand, knife - in right... You cut the meat into small pieces, you debug the knife to the side, you take the fork in right hand - and eat for yourself! This manner of eating demonstrates good manners. (the plate looks more flavorful).

You do not need to eat with a spoon what you can eat with a fork, and also do not use a knife if you can do it with the same fork. For example, they do not cut fish, cutlet, aspic with a knife - they break off small pieces with a fork.

Garnish (potatoes, vegetables, pasta) pick on the fork with bread, not with your fingers.

Wipe your hands and lips with napkins, never with your hands, a tablecloth, or clothes.

If you want to try a dish that is far from you, do not reach for it across the table, but ask to politely pass it on.

Put food from the common dish not with your own spoon or fork, but with those that are on the common dish.

Sweets such as cakes and pastries are not eaten from the hand, but broken off with a spoon in a plate.

And the most important thing: it is imperative to thank the person who prepared and served you the dishes, to say magic "Thank you"!

Rules table behavior is very important in modern world... A festive table, a trip to a cafe or restaurant, a romantic or friendly dinner cannot do without elementary rules of etiquette.

Rules courtesy in conversation

It's so nice when they listen to you attentively! But do you know that you need to be able to listen too!

If someone turns to you, and at this time you are busy with something, put aside your affairs for a while and look at interlocutor show him your willingness to participate in the conversation.

Never interrupt! Listen carefully to the end. Your notes and tips to the interlocutor during his conversation - inappropriate.

When several people are involved in a conversation, you should not react to speech that is not addressed to you.

When companion in your presence begins to behave tactlessly, speak harshly and irritably, try to stop the conversation, but gently and without challenge.

If you hear that in your presence they begin to discuss and call others names, try to turn the conversation to another topic.

Always remember that a long conversation is very exhausting for interlocutor... Don't be too chatty.

Believe me, your listener has something to say, so give him the opportunity to join the conversation.

Be kind and considerate to whomever you are talking to. Be able to end the conversation in time if you see that your the interlocutor is in a hurry before he tells you about it himself. Try to change the topic of the conversation if you notice that it is unpleasant for the person, or not interesting.

In order not to put your listener in an awkward position, do not use words in a conversation whose meanings he may not know, as well as those whose meaning is not entirely clear to you.

In order not to be known "Gossip" ("Gossip girl", do not criticize or discuss other people. They say only good things about the absent, or nothing at all is better.

It's ugly to wave your arms while talking (gesticulate)... Express yourself clearly and precisely and it will be enough to companion I understood you without difficulty.

Conversation rules

Conversation rules will help you right start and carry on a conversation. You will learn how to interest interlocutor and not get bored with him in the process conversations... Moreover, these regulations will make you even more educated and cultured than before.

Do not brag. Do not humiliate interlocutor, trying to pin him up or rise at his expense.

If you are asked questions, be sure to answer them.

In a company it is impolite to whisper with one person. Others may think that you are talking nasty about them, or they may assume that you are neglecting them.

Do not interfere with a conversation between two when they are talking in private. At this point, it is best to discreetly leave.

Don't get in the habit of complaining. The image of a constant whiner turns people off.

Try to remember what you talked about the last time, so that when you meet again, you can show to the interlocutor how interesting it was to you.

Do not clutter your speech with curses, slang and rude words.

Try not to speak too loudly, especially when public place... Believe me, they listen not to the one who shouts louder, but to the one who knows how to speak in an interesting and intelligent way.

Now you know conversation rules, which means now you can support any conversation, being sure that your companion will only have a good opinion of you.

Friendship rules

Who do you spend with most of its time? Of course, with friends. Do you know about rules of friendship?

If not, then be sure to check out them:

Always help your comrade: if you know how to do something, teach him this too; if a friend is in trouble, help him as much as you can.

Tell a friend the truth"in the eyes": if he is not in something right - tell him about it, or praise when he has done a good deed. Stop a friend if he does something bad.

Try not to quarrel with friends, do not argue over trifles. Don't be arrogant if you do something better than theirs. Do not envy your comrades - you need to be able to rejoice at their successes. If you did something wrong, do not hesitate to admit it and mend.

Learn to accept help, advice and feedback from other guys

Friendship rules

Rules Friendships will help you make many friends who will be happy to be friends with you and spend their free time.

There is a proverb - "Don't have 100 rubles, but have 100 friends!"

If you really want to have many friends, listen to a few advice:

Never be rude to your comrades, do not raise your voice to them. Don't call them offensive words don't make fun of their failures. Don't give them nicknames, don't humiliate them - it's a shame.

Do not try to hit or push anyone in order to take a place convenient for you.

Don't forget to say hello to all your friends. Even with those of them who are very small. You can and should be friends with kids, and with big guys, and with boys and girls.

If you are offended by your friend for something, try to forgive him as soon as possible and make peace. Do not get mad!

If your friend asked you for something - never be greedy, give him! Always share what you have with your friends.

Be a must! If you took a book or toy from a friend yourself, handle these things carefully and do not forget to return them on time. (when your friend asked or when you promised).

Do not sneak over trifles, but you still need to tell adults about serious tricks.

Rules Friendship should be known to every student - after all, they help to find friends not only for the time of study, but also for life.

Rules of etiquette- How to behave with adults

Do you know how to behave with adults? Do you always observe these regulations? If you know well and do these regulations, then you will always be considered a well-mannered, cultured and intelligent child.

First of all, it is customary to refer to adults as “you”. The greetings you use when communicating with peers and relatives: “Hello” and “goodbye” in relation to strangers to you adults are inappropriate. Use instead of them such how: “Hello” and “goodbye”.

The younger ones should always greet you first, however, as with any acquaintances, without waiting for them to greet you earlier.

By the rules of the man(boys) when meeting each other they serve right palm for a handshake. If you are wearing gloves, do not forget to take off the one you will be greeting before greeting.

Kissing and hugging when you meet is very personal. You can allow yourself such a greeting only with close and well-known people, with mutual consent.

You can not interfere in the conversation of adults and comment on what they say to each other. And if you wanted to say something or ask a question, you need to ask permission.

If you meet someone again during the day, do not forget about such magic words greetings, how: “Good morning”, “good afternoon”, “good evening” or “nice to see you / you again”. Even a simple nod of the head and a good-natured smile will be enough in this situation.

That's it, now you know how to behave with adults. Treating adults and the elderly with respect is a sign of good parenting!

1. Whatever "noodles" a new acquaintance may hang on your graceful ears, know that at first he has only one desire. If you feel a reciprocal desire - good luck. Tired of the whims of others, a man will appreciate your sincerity. But empty coquetry will only bring harm. If a man sees a lomaka and a pretender, he will experience growing irritation. So don't waste time yourself and don't give false hope to your boyfriend. The longer you act out the comedy, the more relieved the man will get rid of you after you finally surrender to him.

2. If you want to keep a man, do not expose your feelings for him. There is no need to tell him about your love. It is even more stupid to demand confirmation: "Do you love me? Well, tell me, tell me!" Usually such a question is answered with a lie; the word "love" from its frequent use is depreciated and loses its meaning. Do not devote all your free time to a man: part of your personal life should be inaccessible to him. Evenings with friends, playing sports, a computer, books will turn into a bastion, which is much stronger than a fake "not to give" attitude.

3. Recognizing a professional is almost impossible. He picks up the key to your soul and behaves appropriately - exactly as you imagine a real man should behave. A pro will unwittingly give himself away when he immediately switches from you to your girlfriend, or vice versa. But even here it will not be easy to resist. The woman explains the inconstancy of such a man by the fact that she turned out to be better than her friend in his eyes. Or the fact that, on the contrary, a cunning rival beat off the man. Both are delusions.

4. Often couples are formed within the framework of a team - educational, labor, leisure. But what if the team is purely female or there is no suitable man in it, and you want to flirt? You are welcome to take a walk! The company of your friend is likely to get in your way. Sitting alone on a bench in a crowded place, you will be busy talking with a man in a few minutes. Didn't you like it? Apologize and go to the adjacent square. The best place for acquaintance - the street, including shops and public transport.

5. Don't expect to find a life partner at a resort or restaurant. Therefore, there is no need to value the acquaintances made in these places. If you don't want to feel abandoned, take the initiative: leave the man before he does it to you.

6. Do not extort endlessly expensive gifts and luxurious feasts. A man will quickly notice that you are trying to "spin" him, will treat you like a prostitute and will be right. If a man appreciates a woman, he will independently express this in material form.

7. Do not scold your former men. Firstly, it is despicable, because the previous choice was made by you yourself, perhaps even loved. Secondly, you betray your own inability to find a worthy companion. Thirdly, a new acquaintance will think: "Time will pass, and she will just throw mud at me; we need to quickly part with her."

8. Touchiness, this kind of pettiness, does not adorn anyone. Do not scandal about any reason. If you pout every now and then, refuse to talk in response to the man's offenses (real or imaginary), then you will only achieve self-loathing. This behavior of yours will provoke your husband into thinking about divorce. But if you are dealing with an "adult child" then such cuts in his brain will really benefit.

9. Once the way to a man's heart was through his stomach. Today a man will find excellent semi-finished products in the store and can easily concoct it himself. The way to a man's heart is through his mind. With a big intellectual break, a man will become bored with you. Usually, such a gap forms when a woman is content with the fate of a housewife. The simplest way to keep your brain in good shape is reading.

10. Monitor your speech. Do not overload a man with purely "feminine" stories about your children, relatives, work and cooking. The person should be interested in listening to you. But if a man swears that he is resting under your speeches, that he comes to his senses after a busy day, murmur to your health!

Being an adult is difficult, but every effort always pays off. It is impossible to live irresponsibly all your life, and from a certain age it becomes necessary to think about yourself independently, to take responsibility for your life, to strive for the best for yourself and your family. All people understand different things under the phrase "adult", but in fact, in order to become an adult, a person must develop the qualities of a responsible person both in professional and personal life.

Steps

How to develop the qualities of an adult

Try to be a rational person. In adolescence, it is permissible to behave recklessly or selfishly, but in adulthood, a person should think more about his actions and act rationally.

• To think rationally, you need to learn to separate thoughts from feelings.
• A rational person controls his emotions and relies on thoughts, not feelings, in his actions.
• When a rational person makes decisions, he takes into account the interests of others and the moral aspects.
• To become a more rational person, try to give yourself a break when you can't handle your emotions. Make a decision later, when you are calm and able to reason soberly.
• Whenever you limit your motives to thoughts or moral or ethical considerations, you are acting rationally. It will gradually become easier for you to make rational decisions.

1. Strive for meaningful, harmonious relationships. To become an adult, you should focus on building relationships with others. All your connections (friendships, family, romantic) should be meaningful, harmonious and useful for all participants. It will take some effort, but this is the only way you will feel calm, like the people around you.

   • Strive for interactions where all participants behave as independent individuals.
   • Be prepared to compromise that suits everyone.
   • Any mature relationship requires both taking and giving. It is important that the needs of all people are met.
   • In a harmonious relationship, people give and receive love unconditionally. Your love should not be conditioned by certain conditions or expectations.

2. Put your needs over your desires. Many people find it difficult to give up the things they want and do what they have to do. You can spend money on entertainment if you have a supply, but you need to think about basic needs first.

   Take charge of your life yourself. One of the key tasks of an adult is to manage your life on your own. Parents and other relatives can help you as a child and adolescent, but as an adult you need to learn to think about everything yourself.

   • If you are not happy with any aspect of your life (or if others tell you that there is a problem), be prepared to do something about it.
   • An adult is able to take responsibility for his life and change what prevents him from enjoying life.
   • Seek help when you need it, but remember that you must be able to support yourself and live on your own.
   • Remember that only you can change your life. Circumstances can limit your ability to change things, but you need to know that you have the strength to adapt to circumstances and grow despite what is happening.
   • Start setting goals and moving towards them. Be an independent person, take responsibility for your actions and for your inaction.

   How to develop the qualities of an adult

   1. Be independent. Independence is a consequence of the ability to manage your life. You must be able to provide for yourself and take care of yourself in all areas. This includes self-care, housekeeping, punctuality at work, productivity, money management.

      • Independence can take many forms in different ages... The most important thing is to be independent according to your age.
      • Independence can involve age-appropriate responsibilities. As you get older, your responsibilities may change and you will need to do what is expected of you.
      • A teenager has a different level of independence compared to a 20 or 30 year old, and it certainly differs from the independence of a 50 or 60 year old.
      • Analyze the behavior of your peers, notice what they do to be independent, and follow their example.
      • If independence is difficult for you, work with a psychology coach or career counselor. Look for experts on the Internet.

   2. Think over the goals and go to them. An adult needs goals. Goals give meaning to life and drive you forward. When a person achieves a goal, he has a reason to be proud of himself. Setting goals and working to achieve them requires prioritization, both in personal and professional life. If you need to set a goal for yourself, use the S.M.A.R.T. The effectiveness of this technique has been scientifically proven. According to the S.M.A.R.T. methodology, the goal should be:

      • S - Specific, that is, specific. Narrow your target. It is better to set for yourself not global goals with streamlined wording, but specific goals with a clear result.
      • M - Measurable, that is, measurable. Decide how you will measure your success, both now and in the future. You need to understand what will allow you to determine that the goal has been achieved, as well as monitor progress.
      • A - Attainable, that is, attainable. The goal doesn't have to be impossible. It is worth striving for great things, but it is more important to work within your capabilities and think over a strategy for the future.
      • R - Realistic, that is, meaningful. Think about whether you are ready and whether you want to come to the goal. Of course, you need to push yourself forward all the time, but the goal should not be ephemeral.
      • T - Time-bound, that is, limited in time. Define a deadline for achieving your goal. You should have plenty of time to get ready. At the same time, you should not stretch the terms indefinitely.

   3. Strive for your integrity and integrity. An adult should be able to speak the truth and have moral principles. This approach can be interpreted in different ways depending on the situation, but in general, you should be proud of your decisions and what you do with your life.

   4. Take responsibility for your life. Anything that helps you become an adult helps you manage your life. Taking responsibility means not shifting responsibility to others if something goes wrong, and not throwing off responsibilities. A responsible adult is ready to take responsibility for all of his decisions.

      • Responsibility includes many factors that depend on age and life situation.
      • A responsible attitude to life remains with a person forever. It implies a reaction to situations and circumstances, as well as a willingness to deal with any outcome.
      • Responsible attitude to life means thinking through all the little things, making decisions and being ready to take responsibility for the result of decisions, both positive and negative.
      • Planning ahead and considering potential problems will help you manage the situation in the future.
      • Remember that being responsible for your life also means being able to enjoy your successes. Do not brag or be arrogant, but at the same time be able to acknowledge your achievements.

   How to be a responsible worker

   1. Know how to manage your time. If you want to be successful at work, learn how to manage your time. This means that you may have to put off things you would like to do in order to finish the job. You may also need to turn in projects on time, which means that you will need to keep track of time and deadlines.

      • Be punctual. Always show up for work on time (or even a little earlier) and stay until you are done.
      • Try to do as much as possible every day. If the deadline for an important project is approaching, take the time to get it done on time.
      • Keep track of deadlines using a calendar or planner.
      • Try to plan your day either the day before or in the morning. This way you can start the day knowing what you have to do.
      • If you feel like you’re putting things off until later, remind yourself that things will not do themselves. Procrastinating will make it harder to finish.
      • Do one thing at a time. Keep a to-do list in mind, but focus on only one task to keep your work as productive as possible.
   2. It is important to have ambitions not only in your professional life, but also in your personal one. Try to be the best version of yourself, both at work and in your personal life.
   3. Don't come to work just wanting to do a series of things. Strive to do more to show management that you are ready for more responsibility.
   4. Ambition and a mature approach to work, perhaps, will allow you to achieve higher and higher salaries.

3. Be mindful of the little things. Attention to detail allows you to get more done in less time. If you work carelessly, you and your colleagues will have to redo a lot. Take your time and don't try to finish the job as soon as possible - do it well.

   • It's important to be proud of your work. Don't go home until you've done what you have to.
   • Not a single detail should escape your attention. If a colleague missed something in their work, help them finish the job or show them what needs to be done.
   • Try to treat the little things like cleaning a cafe. First you need to wipe the tables and then sweep the floor. You can only wash the floor at the very end.
   • Complete the current one before moving on to the next task or going home.

4. Demonstrate leadership qualities. If you are a responsible employee, your management will notice your efforts. Over time, when the opportunity arises, you may be promoted. As you take responsibility for the results of your work, do more than is expected of you, and collaborate with colleagues for the greater good, your management will understand that you can be a leader.

   • To be a leader, you need to be able to complete your work on time and take responsibility for your actions.
   • Remember that the leader is responsible not only for his own actions, but also for the actions of his subordinates.
   • A leader needs to be confident and think about others. If you can delegate responsibilities, but at the same time show a sincere interest in the problems of colleagues, you can make a good leader.