In society, it is generally accepted that violence can only have a physical form. While psychological pressure on a person sometimes harms even more than bruises and abrasions - because it leaves wounds on the soul. Psychological pressure can take a variety of forms - from relatively light, like persuasion, to severe - when a person is driven into a corner and pushed into self-destructive behavior (it is almost impossible to get out of such a state without the help of a specialist).

Anyone can act as a source of such pressure - a boss, an employee, a spouse, a neighbor, even a stranger.

Moral pressure can be done for some purpose - for example, to force a person to do something that the "aggressor" needs, or maybe for no particular reason, just to get rid of someone.

It is realistic to reveal it in time, but it also happens that a person realizes the pressure after he has “broken down”.

Types of psychological impact

To suppress the will of another person and get what he wants from him, techniques of varying degrees of "dirty" can be used:

• Pressure on emotions and feelings For example, feelings of shame, guilt, fear.
• Can connect intelligence- usually in this case, the counterpart selects in advance a number of arguments in his favor and bombards the interlocutor with them, not giving him the opportunity to object.
• Pressure can be applied "on the forehead"- when a person is forced, blackmailed, intimidated.
• The pressure is carried out by the "aggressor" not directly, but through circumstances. that the attacker can influence. For example, it can be a boss who worsens the working conditions of a subordinate, or a breadwinner in a family.
• Contrary to popular belief, pressure can be exercised not only from a position of strength - say, when a person is physically strong, he has money and power. But also from a position of weakness. For example, when a person complains about his hard life and begs for help, usually reinforcing his begging with tears and repeating them many times.
• Humiliation is also a common form of pressure. With her, often publicly, they insult, pointing out the features of his personal qualities, intellectual abilities or appearance.

• Leaving aside- perhaps the most insidious kind. It lies in the fact that the person being attacked feels pressure, but the "aggressor" immediately loosens his grip, as if he had not planned anything. Such behavior does not allow you to find out the relationship directly - because the sly one can make offended eyes and ask: “What did I do to you, why are you doing this to me?”, but at the same time it unsettles.
• Suggestion works great if pressing side - a person who is an authority for a counterpart, and the “victim” herself is a person who is easily influenced.
• "Take on the weak"- a technique familiar to all of us from childhood.
• manipulation- is also a very common type of pressure, the complexity of which is that they are carried out covertly, and a person may not understand for a long time that he is being used.

Realize

This is the most important step in dealing with psychological pressure. Of course, if it does so directly and openly—for example, when a person is being bullied—it is easy to notice. But more sophisticated approaches, for example, manipulation, persuasion, sidetracking, can be more difficult to trace.

We can be an instrument of someone else's will for months or even years without even knowing it, especially when it comes to a loved one.

There can be many signs that we are under pressure. For instance:

• The constant desire of the interlocutor to focus on a particular problem.
• Suspiciously generous promises.
• An unreasonable feeling of guilt.
• The emergence of a sense of duty in relation to a person who has rendered a certain service and now asks to answer the same. And often no one even asked him for such a service.
• Sometimes we may notice that we often do something that we ourselves do not want, but someone else needs it, etc.

Cards on the table

If the pressure is carried out covertly, and the person realizes that he is under pressure, he can immediately openly tell the “aggressor” about it. In this case, many attackers will immediately retreat as soon as they realize that they have been brought to clean water.

Rarely, but it also happens that a man or a woman stops pressure as soon as the side infringed by him directly declares that he is behaving aggressively and suppressing someone weak.

There are people who don't like to admit it. Although most attackers, unfortunately, this will not hurt - they are well aware of what they are doing, and often do not deny it.

Your variant

When things are called by their proper names, you can offer your own version of the development of further events and the preservation of relationships, if they make sense. An option that suits both parties.

Show teeth

Usually those who cannot fight back are subjected to pressure. Thus, in order to reduce the risk of getting under pressure, you need to become stronger yourself. Temper character and the ability to stand up for yourself can be a variety of means. For example, the following tools are effective:

• Working with a psychologist and psychotherapist.
• Sport - by making the body stronger, we strengthen our internal resource. Good, for example, martial arts and team sports.
• Communication with strong and self-confident people and the opportunity to take from them an example of behavior with others.

Feeling the restrained inner strength of a person, others are afraid to attack him. At the same time, strength should not be flaunted, but others should feel it.

Figuratively speaking, there is no need to wave a saber in front of people, but if they see that its handle is sticking out from under the cloak, they will be more restrained in their actions and statements.

Ignore

If the impact is carried out by someone in order to see the reaction of another person and feed on his defenselessness, vulnerability, it is enough to begin to demonstrate complete indifference to the words of the offender, and he will calm down. It works, although not very often.

Talk heart to heart

It also happens that psychological pressure is exerted by a person who wants to take revenge. For example, today's victim once offended him.

In this case, if there is reason to believe that the pressure on one's own psyche is carried out out of revenge, one will have to step over oneself and find out the relationship.

Enlist Support

Sometimes psychological violence takes on truly terrible forms. For example, at work, in office life, sometimes such a phenomenon as mobbing is formed - when one of the employees, for one reason or another, is subjected to mass harassment by colleagues.

In this case, you can try to ask for help - for example, the boss, a staff psychologist or a personnel manager.

They can help to understand the causes of the current situation and influence it.

Before analyzing the methods of influence, we will analyze the question of what is influence and what is influence.

These are completely different things. How do they differ from each other?

Imagine that two men are talking on the street. And then a usable female passes by them, smoothly shaking her lower back. They instantly forget what they were talking about, all their smart conversations remain somewhere on the sidelines, and they follow her with their eyes. Did she have any effect on them? No, she just walked by. Did she influence them? Of course it did. The question is what is influence, and how does it differ from influence?

In the yard where I grew up, there lived one district police officer. Like Pushkin, his name was Alexander Sergeevich. He was about two meters tall and shaped like a doorway. He always went in civilian clothes, and a police cap on his head. He spent most of his time in the basement. So, when he appeared in the yard, he immediately created a certain climate. Immediately everyone began to speak more quietly, all kinds of parties stopped, all the punks in the yard ran and hid, all the hooligans tried to behave as inconspicuously as possible, and everyone got up and greeted him. Did he affect anyone? He just walked from the rocking chair to the Stronghold. But even with his appearance, he had a certain influence on people.

Influence starts with appearance. With caste identification. We can make an impact simply by our appearance. When we choose a cast skin, we choose an instrument of influence.

What do people immediately pay attention to? On the appearance, posture. On the chosen style of clothing. On an appropriately chosen role-playing game - who do you play in this life. Even when we see a person for the first time, we immediately determine for ourselves who is in front of us: "Dull smart guy" or "Charming bastard" or vice versa - "Intellectual Superman".

But if we choose some model of behavior, it means that we are already acting purposefully, but this action is not directed at a specific person. This is influence. We have not done or said anything yet, but with our clothes, movements, facial expressions, we have had a certain influence, aroused a certain attitude towards ourselves.

One of the first factors that people pay attention to is the color of the clothes.

The color we chose not only reflects our psycho emotional condition but he, in turn, begins to influence us. That is, if we accustom ourselves to some color, we change our behavior according to this color.

The first color that affects the psyche of people is black! If a person accustoms himself to the black color in clothes, he develops certain traits in himself - authoritarianism, every possible rejection of other people's opinions and the widespread imposition of his own opinion on everyone.

The opposite of black is white. This is the color of adaptation. It means the desire to get in touch, to establish mutual language. Any color mixed with black will be black. Mix any color with white, it will be the same color, but a little thinner.

Between black and white is gray. The so-called "civilian uniform" is a gray suit. This is emotional passivity, that is, not involvement, neither here nor there. "Citizen, let's go" - and a citizen can rejoice, can shout, can be indignant, but this should not affect the state of the one who said: "Citizen, let's go."

Next are warm colors. The hottest color is red. What is red in nature? Blood! Fire! Red symbolizes aggression. Therefore, when the GDP appears at the negotiations in the Council of Europe in a red tie, everything falls into place. If I were in his place, I would have written a “badge” like this - “everything is in the stall!” – this applies to everyone in the Council of Europe. Here is a behavior pattern: aggression - adjustment - aggression and - black suit - suppression. Suppression of interlocutors.

Yellow is the color of positive activity, the color of the sun. The halos of advanced people were always drawn in gold, that is, yellow. And orange, respectively - aggression and positive activity - in half.

Now brown. What is brown in nature? Right! This color is by no means associated with chocolate, and not even with coffee. Therefore, avoid brown at all costs. Also stay away from those who like brown.

Cool colors remain. Blue! In nature, blue is the sky and the sea. Those who often look at the sky and the sea are dreamers, romantics. Choosing the color blue cultivates romanticism and sentimentality.

Lilac, violet, lilac are also cold colors. Introversion, self-absorption, the desire to turn your movie in your head.

Green - focusing on yourself.

All kinds of cells, drawings, peas - this is neuroticism, nervous exhaustion. If you accustom yourself to such “specks”, you develop neuroticism in yourself. Therefore, I always try to dissuade my followers from all sorts of "peas", "specks" and other things.

Cravings for wearing shiny objects, all kinds of bracelets, rings, watches with metal bracelets, belt buckles, silver and gold badges on clothes - these are all signs of psychopathy. Those who prefer such things tend to be slightly psychopathic. This is neither good nor bad. This is a feature!

By the way, about psychotypes. There are many nuances associated with professionalism.

I can tell you for sure that, for example, not a single good analyst can not be a schizoid. Because only a schizoid can look at a problem from different angles, and this is a mandatory quality for an analyst. And any good artist is also certainly a schizoid. This is a man who sees things a little differently. He can't help but have an altered reality.

On the other hand, no good coach can not be a psychopath. A psychopath is, firstly, a slightly paranoid person fixated on one idea, and secondly, he is usually prone to not always adequate words and not always adequate actions. This is not a hysteric - a hysteroid that kicks everything, screams and beats in hysterics and in tears. In a psychopath, the reaction may be exacerbated or painful, or, on the contrary, blunted. A good coach is simply obliged to be a psychopath, otherwise he will not be able to inspire and influence. This is a pattern, and it does not matter in what area he trains - in martial arts, in hockey or in psychology.

An accountant must be an epileptoid. Otherwise, he simply will not be able to thoughtfully and painstakingly do the same thing. Only an epileptoid can walk around the store and over and over again ask the price of goods that he does not need. Or, for example, sawing trees with a jigsaw. Cyclothymics are individuals who have seven Fridays a week, which change all the time. Either he is a schizoid, or he is a paranoid.

Managers - sales or purchasing - are all necessarily paranoid individuals. They need to sell or buy without fail, which means they have to go in cycles. There is even a separate mental illness - the manager's syndrome. I'm not saying it's a disease, it's an accentuation. Illness is a diagnosis. And accentuation is a general direction.

What starts influencing people right after you show up, before you talk, before you look? First of all, the surroundings are affected by the smell. Why is smell so important? In the animal world, everyone perceives each other by smell. The same thing happens among people. From the fact that people began to smoke, sniff various products and chew gum, the human scent, of course, worsened, but did not disappear completely. Something in the smell is still preserved for perception.

The smell of the male of the dominant male is the most attractive. It suppresses the will of other males and causes a positive reaction in females. The scent of the dominant female should come from the female, which, in turn, suppresses the will of other females and attracts males.

One ad touches me - they show a girl who rides a tram, and she has a pig under her arm. And then she uses some kind of another deodorant, and everyone becomes crazy about her. This ad is utter idiocy. Remember: if you have a normal metabolism, the smell of sweat can not be unpleasant. In persons of the same sex, this smell is neutral, that is, neither pleasant nor unpleasant. In people of the opposite sex, he is attractive. But this only applies to the smell of fresh sweat. The smell becomes unpleasant after 12 hours, when the sweat begins to decompose.

Therefore, I still advise you to wash regularly. But I do not advise using deodorants and other perfumes. For one simple reason: in our time, all sorts of sodomites-couturiers, gay people are engaged in the invention of perfumes. Of course, they can not choose the right scents - neither for men nor for women.

What scents should you use?

My friends, do not invent bicycles. Everything was invented long before you. Read and remember! The inhabitants of the Arabian Peninsula, the countries of the Maghreb and North Africa, the inhabitants of the Middle East have been using these systems for more than one thousand years.

For men, the dominant smell is musk or musk. These are the glands of the musk deer gazelle. This gazelle is found in North Africa, in Saudi Arabia, in the Middle East. She has musk glands, from which musk is secreted. A huge amount of a specific “perfume” is made from one gram of musk. The strongest musk - the most rigid and dominant - is black. White - inferior to black in strength and intensity, it is softer. There is also an average - not white and not black - red.

For women, the dominant scent is ambergris. This substance is secreted by female sperm whales, and the male sperm whale smells this smell tens of kilometers through the water. And rushes in the appropriate direction without making a mistake. From amber, real perfumers can also do a lot of useful things. How do musk and amber work? Bypassing human consciousness. You may like these smells, you may not like them - it does not matter at all. Because they have other means of influence. In fact, this is to some extent a deception of nature. You add certain enzymes to yourself, which, by and large, suppress the will of other people, and the more concentrated they are, the more they suppress.

So, the smells of musk and amber give the dominant individual a feeling of even greater dominance. As already mentioned, they suppress, subjugate individuals of the same sex and cause attraction in individuals of the opposite sex.

In everything that I propose, there is nothing complicated at all, in fact, everything is crazy and fabulously simple.

In principle, all psychology is a very simple thing. Remember, only what is simple always works. Complex will not work. Anyone who has been involved in martial arts knows: you can learn a lot of beautiful coordinating and complex techniques, but will they be useful in practice? In real combat conditions, two kicks, two punches, two throws work. Well, or three hits and two throws. Everything. Also in psychology, the simplest techniques work best.

So, first of all, we perceive the smell of a person. What are we celebrating next? Posture and plasticity of movements, body position.

Few people can boast of good posture - after all, from childhood we were taught to stoop. We were weaned from walking straight as a string. If we straightened up, we were told that we were proud, exalted and turned up our noses. The girls were supposed to be ashamed of the fact that their bust was beginning to form, and not to put it forward, but to hide it, pushing their shoulders and bending over.

Moreover, we periodically wanted to look as harmless as possible in front of the teachers, and for this it was necessary to cross the upper limbs on the genitals, and the lower ones on each other. And at the same time, of course, I had to stoop and push my shoulders forward, press my head into my shoulders, and wear a very intelligent expression on my face.

If a person is beaten or constantly intimidated, he will begin to hold his hands, as if covering himself, will begin to stoop. How will he feel about it?

Check it out yourself. Try to bend your back, slouch. Lower your head and arms and look around frowningly. How do you feel? Proud, free, independent? Probably not! Now straighten up! Take your shoulders back, put your foot a little forward, put your hand on your belt, straighten your head. Have your feelings changed, your facial expressions? So, does our internal state depend on the position of the body and posture? Certainly!

Exercise 1

Raise your right hand up, raise your head, look up and stretch strongly towards the ceiling. Stretch your shoulder as much as possible, so that your back crunches. Don't be afraid, it won't come off! Slowly, across the side, lower your hand.

Do the same with the other hand. Pull until it hurts, until it crunches, so that the shoulder and back stretch as much as possible.

Now both hands are up, to the pain, to the crunch up.

Now slowly lower your shoulders and pull up the crown.

Shoulders forward, up, towards the ears, and down, back. Remember your posture, it should be just like that.

Exercise 2

Spread your arms out to the sides and stretch your arms where you can't reach. First with the right hand, then with the left. Lower your arms slowly.

And again: shoulders forward, to the ears, and down, back.

Sit on a chair while keeping your back straight. The hands rest on the top of the thigh, in the middle of the thigh. The back is straight, bend the muscles on the back. Pull your shoulders back. Buttocks also back, straighten your back so that the s-curve of the spine decreases.

You can stay in this position for as long as you like. Have you tried going anywhere with a weight on your back? If you bend your back, you will get tired after a hundred steps. You can walk easily only if your back is straight. Here is the same. You can work on a computer, you can sit for hours with a straight back. Remember - the back of the chair is for the disabled! Forget about her. Just sit as far as possible with your buttocks, bend at the waist, take your shoulders back - and that's it.

If, under the weight of your brain, your head leans to one shoulder, then to the other, you need to fight it. How?

Exercise 3

Grab your head with your hand, rest your ear on your shoulder, pull your head slightly, tilting your ear to your shoulder. Now to the other side.

After that, for some time the head will be kept straight. Then again, under the weight of the brain, it will begin to lean either to the right or to the left. Then repeat the exercise again.

Exercise 4

Sit on your left buttock, lift your right leg, pull the toe as far as possible. Sit on your right buttock. Stretch your left leg as far as you can. Sit straight and, while sitting, stretch your crown up.

These exercises need to be done constantly. Indirect consequences - add a little in height, a couple of centimeters. Checked! The legs and arms are likely to be slightly lengthened. In fact, of course, the bones will not become longer, this is due to the fact that the joints straighten out, cease to be compressed.

The plasticity of movements is also very important.

The softer and more plastic your movements, the greater the feeling of power emanating from you. You should always move, as it were, a little bit with a margin. As if you are showing that you have a little more strength than you need for this movement.

There was such a weightlifter - David Rigert. Raising the bar, he always tossed it a little up. Tossed and laid on the ground. It did not require any effort, because the barbell is tossed up with the legs - a little up. But how it impressed the audience! Even if he lifted the bar with the last of his strength with circles before his eyes, it seemed to the audience that he did it effortlessly.

For women, there is a slightly different plastic scheme. Dear ladies, you must constantly, every moment, move as if a huge number of men are looking at you with admiration, while licking their lips on the go. And a huge number of women look at you with hatred and envy. All the time, even alone with yourself, you must imagine that you are being watched.

Can you look straight ahead and smile?

From childhood we were taught to hide our eyes. For example, you are walking down the street, your mother is holding your hand. A man drives by in a wheelchair. You are interested, you want to look at him, but you hear: “Don’t stare at your uncle, this is not good!” A drunken aunt picks her nose, you also stare at her, but again they say to you: “Don’t look at your aunt, it’s indecent!”

We have heard too often: “Why are you looking at me like that?” – and learned to lower their eyes.

Smile and laugh we also weaned. For example, a teacher at school sits on a chair, where one of the students carefully put a button - and bounces. This is very funny, you laughed, and you are punished for it. Dad hammers a nail into the wall, hits his finger instead of a nail and bursts into a tirade about the imperfection of the universe. And now you are already laughing - and you get a slap on the back of the head. We were taught not to smile, not to laugh, to wear a serious sad expression on our faces.

You should develop the skill of smiling and talking to people with a smile on your face. By smile, I don't mean dumb Hollywood "cheese", but something else.

Exercise 5

Relax your facial muscles, look straight ahead into the eyes of an imaginary interlocutor (you can stand in front of a mirror) and slightly lift the corners of your lips. Now, without lowering the corners of your lips and looking straight ahead, say a phrase. Work on this skill for yourself: speak with a slight smile, looking into your eyes.

This technique is called soft suppression. On a subconscious level, a smile is a grin, a direct look into the eyes is aggression. Consciousness perceives a smile as a manifestation of goodwill, and a look into the eyes as openness and sincerity. Therefore, when people communicate with you, there will be a strong contradiction. Consciously they will perceive you as a benevolent and open person, and subconsciously as a source of overwhelming aggression. And this is where a remarkable psychological phenomenon will manifest itself: the transformation of fear into respect. Subconsciously fearing you, people will start looking for you. positive features will find them and be filled with reverence for your person.

If a person does not smile, and the corners of his lips are constantly lowered, this indicates that in front of you is a pessimist, a loser. And failure is as contagious as the flu. Stay away from such people. If you notice that the corners of your lips are starting to droop, do this exercise:

Exercise 6

Place your thumbs on your upper lip and turn your fingers inward to lift the corners of your lips. And you say something, for example: “Winter! The peasant, triumphant, takes his Hammer out of the gate. Slowly release your hands, and leave this smile.

Do the exercise for a minute, two or three times a day, until the corners of the lips begin to rise on their own.

Everything that we were inspired in childhood affected our psyche - we no longer withstand a direct look, we weakened.

A strong person should have a straight look, a slight smile should always be on his face.

The managers of the Sony Corporation, in general, are not the last sheep in the world, spent 150 hours in 2003 practicing a constant smile and a direct look - and this is in a country where smiling and making eye contact is a national tradition. This training was needed in order to learn how to more effectively subordinate other people to your will.

Here is a curious episode showing how important it is to use facial expressions correctly. This is a story about how a French doctor from the International Red Cross died in Chechnya. Several… how to call it more delicately… employees of an illegal armed group were dragging a stretcher with their wounded comrade. And the Frenchman, like all Europeans, saw them and smiled at them. People left the battle and are carrying a wounded comrade, and in front of them is some kind of monkey and grinning. What is their reaction? The doctor was shot dead on the spot. Later it was only found out that he, it turns out, did not gloat, but simply smiled.

Therefore, you should not have this American “keep smiling” either. If a person comes towards you with a smile from ear to ear, does it mean that he is open, friendly, well disposed towards you? V English speaking countries 80s maybe. But in the Slavic world, such a wide smile would rather mean doubting the interlocutor's mental usefulness. You should have a light smile, just an even, relaxed position, slightly raised corners of the lips.

There are various techniques for influencing the interlocutor. Body position, gestures, facial expressions, look - all this can be tools of your influence on people.

Mimicry is one of the tools of influence.

Suppose your goal is to suppress a persona.

The technique is simple: you look past the person, you have a slight half-smile on your face - slightly raised corners of the lips. You look at the person and your smile disappears. Look away again - a smile appears.

And so several times.

It is almost imperceptible, but acts bypassing consciousness. After five or six repetitions, your actions - the appearance and disappearance of a smile - begin to influence the psyche of the interlocutor, his internal state. A person begins to suspect that something is wrong with him, look around his clothes and so on. However, he does not understand why he feels uncomfortable.

If, on the contrary, you want to cheer up a person, win her over, pull her into positive communication, you must act in the opposite way.

You keep a neutral expression when you look away from the person, and smile slightly when you look at him. And just repeat it several times. It is necessary to smile just slightly, a wide smile can lead a person to the idea that you are laughing at him.

Your interlocutor receives a positive emotional background tied to your person. This is a mind-bypassing effect on the evoking of positive emotions.

As a basic exposure technique, I recommend keeping your gaze just below the eyes of the interlocutor.

A person always subconsciously tries to catch the eye of the one with whom he is talking. And to catch your eye, he will have to stoop, that is, take a subordinate position in which it is very difficult to maintain pride and dignity. This technique also works bypassing consciousness.

Grandfather Freud was a very smart guy. He wrote that we always have two dialogues: one is at the level of consciousness (the words that we pronounce), the other is at the level of gestures, facial expressions and views.

There is a conference of psychologists-trainers. A man and a woman are talking about holding corporate trainings, about investing in personnel. The lady periodically lowers her eyes and glances at the male. The male specimen periodically holds his gaze on the lady's neckline and reluctantly looks back at her eyes. At the level of consciousness, they have a dialogue about training and investment. On the animal, subconscious level, this is an erotic self-presentation, an erotic worldview. Two dialogues are going on at the same time - and this is always the case.

The two men are negotiating a corporate merger. One man leans back in his chair and, swaying on it, says to the other: "I'm sorry, I forgot your name and patronymic." The second throws his hands behind his head, puts his foot on his foot, with the sole to the interlocutor and asks: “Pavel Pavlovich, excuse me, but are you really the first person in your company?” On a conscious level, they clarified each other's positions. On a subconscious level, things are not so simple. The first man, pretending to have forgotten the name of the interlocutor, demonstrated his position as the owner. The second, having taken the appropriate posture (hands behind the head, legs crossed, swaying the toe of the foot), demonstrated his superiority, the extreme degree of superiority. At a subconscious level, their dialogue went something like this:

- I am dominant. Low-ranking, take a humiliated pose.

- No, it's me - the dominant, it's you - low-ranking, take a humiliated pose.

One can guess that they hardly managed to reach an agreement.

Consider how you can influence people with gestures. The position of the body relative to the interlocutor also has great importance. You are standing in front of the interlocutor - he feels the opposition (Fig. 1). An appropriate hand gesture intensifies the confrontation, the interlocutor perceives your posture as aggressive (Fig. 2). The closer you get, the more aggressive you feel (Figure 3).

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If you get close to the person, the opposition disappears even if you are close enough (Fig. 4). Such a posture means that you, as it were, are opposed to something together, and does not cause a feeling of aggression in the interlocutor, but, on the contrary, unites you.

You sit in front of the interlocutor, slightly leaning towards him - he perceives you as a character interested in communication (Fig. 5). But if you increase the slope, creating the appearance of being ready to jump (legs are brought under the center of gravity, hands rest on the upper third of the thigh), the interlocutor feels quite strong aggression - as if you could jump up and rush at him at any moment (Fig. 6). He feels it on a subconscious level.

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You sit straight, not deviating anywhere (Fig. 7). This position expresses complete neutrality. If you lean back and assume a relaxed posture (Fig. 8),

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you show a lack of interest in the conversation. But if at the same time you sit next to each other, the interlocutor's feelings change - this posture shows that, on the one hand, the person is relaxed, on the other hand, he is friendly towards the interlocutor (Fig. 9).

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When you lean back, crossing your legs and turning the sole towards the interlocutor, you express neglect (Fig. 10). You can further enhance this feeling by throwing your hands behind your head - an extreme degree of neglect (Fig. 11).

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At the same time, if you throw your leg to the other side and turn away from the interlocutor, you are already demonstrating your own insecurity and fear (Fig. 12). It will be especially expressive if you hold some object in front of you - a folder or a book.

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Most postures take on a completely different meaning when you're talking to a woman. Here the tactics may be slightly different. The “ready to jump” position, when the legs are under the center of gravity, the man will perceive as aggression, and the lady, on the contrary, will perceive it positively, as a manifestation of interest - she has other associations (Fig. 13). If you sit nearby, with a slight inclination towards the interlocutor, you will also cause positive sensations with some erotic admixture (Fig. 14).

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When you sit back in your chair, the lady you are talking to feels superior and relaxed (Fig. 15). A closed posture, when you turn away, as it were, will cause a feeling of distrust and tension (Fig. 16).

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When you, standing opposite, make a movement towards the interlocutor, your movement suppresses the man, and the woman, on the contrary, attracts and causes a response movement towards you (Fig. 17). But if you stand next to the lady, turning in the same direction as her, you show her neutrality and detachment (Fig. 18).

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Coming very close to the interlocutor, you will cause her the same rejection as a man, because this posture expresses too high a degree of aggressiveness, and she will not have any response towards you (Fig. 19).

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Now the situation is when you communicate while sitting at the table. If you sit opposite the interlocutor, you demonstrate your superiority and suppress it (Fig. 20). By leaning back, you show extreme disdain, telling your interlocutor that he is nothing (Fig. 21).

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On the other hand, if you sit on the side, you demonstrate a subordinate position (Fig. 22).

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The interlocutor develops a positive attitude. An even more expressive demonstration of your harmlessness is when you turn slightly in the same direction as the interlocutor (Fig. 23). You can talk about anything, but in this position you will never evoke negative emotions. Therefore, if you are communicating with some important person, try to sit on the side. Sitting in this way, you can explain, tell, show something, and they will listen to you. And sitting opposite, you will cause rejection and opposition.

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An important person can be a lady, nothing changes from that. Remember that in human society the criteria "male" and "female" are shifted. A lady can perceive you as an erotic object only at a deep subconscious level. And on the conscious, she perceives you as a factor. Not as a person, but as a factor, for example, hindering or contributing to her personal enrichment.

Try not to put your hands or elbow on the table of the interlocutor. Better put some paper and show with a pen. Only by the edge, with the fingertips touching the table (Fig. 24). If you encroach on the territory of the interlocutor (Fig. 25), you call negative emotions. It's better not to.

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Thus, you can see that changing the position of the body relative to the interlocutor affects his mental and emotional state.

The next instrument of influence is gestures.

There are gestures aimed at suppressing the will of the interlocutor.

In any simian community, the dominant male dominates the low-ranking males when he starts behaving towards the low-ranking male as towards a female. He is obliged to take a humiliated pose, to show that he is not a male, but only a female - to close the phallus with his paws and stoop. And the dominant pats himself on the genital area, pokes his finger in the genital area of ​​the low-ranking one and yells at him.

So, the first gesture model: you direct gestures from the outer circle to the inner one. And focus the gesture on the genital area (Fig. 26).

Rice. 26

The interlocutor does not understand what you are doing, but your gestures suppress his will. You seem to give the command: “Low-ranking, take a humiliated pose! You are not a male, but only a female!” Given that in human society the concepts of "male" and "female" are shifted, women can also use this technology of influence.

So, there is a whole group of gestures of suppression.

Have you noticed what precise gestures our former president, now prime minister, has? Of course, psychologists work with him - professionals of the highest class. But, we must give him his due, he listens to them very carefully, which is rare among politicians They prefer to think for themselves.

It is for this reason that such a large number of negotiators left their jobs in the 90s - after all, in the Slavic world, as in France of the 17th century, "any Gascon is an academician since childhood."

Imagine three specialists negotiating with armed separatists. One of them is an orientalist, doctor of science, familiar with the eastern mentality, culture and traditions. The second is a conflict specialist. The third is a psychologist-trainer, candidate of sciences. Three negotiators are having a conversation, and suddenly a mandate holder appears who knows better than these three specialists what to do. He snatches the microphone from them and starts talking to the separatists himself. Or some owner of large heavy stars on shoulder straps appears, who has a manger and military school, but he also knows everything better than conflictologists and orientalists. As a result, negotiations become meaningless. Well, where is the conflictologist and orientalist up to an official or a general?

Let's consider another model of behavior - the Putin-Schroeder interaction.

In 2002, the summit took place, which was the first tremendous psychological success GDP.

Here heads of the states go towards each other. This is diplomatic protocol. The GDP goes raising his hand, and when he is at a handshake distance, he lowers his hand and looks with bewilderment at Schroeder's outstretched hand. Schroeder at this moment feels extremely uncomfortable. After that, finally, VVP shakes Schroeder's hand, giving it from below, and then turning it up. This gesture automatically sounds like a command: “Even if I started like this, we will end like this,” and “Accept, Schroeder, a humiliated pose.”

Then the GDP turns to the journalists so that they can see that the heads of state are shaking hands. Schroeder feels uncomfortable and tries to snatch his arm. Judo classes have made our president a strong hand, so he does not let Schroeder pull his hand out. After a while, finally, Schroeder pulls out his hand, and the GDP goes and says something to him. Schroeder can only run after him and participate in the conversation, otherwise there will be a violation of diplomatic protocol, which the German chancellor, as a European person, cannot allow. And GDP continues to go. He is shorter, so that Schroeder is forced to lean towards him, which does not prevent our president from periodically looking down at the chancellor. As a result, Schroeder is completely depressed, from the very first minutes of the dialogue, and VVP wins the negotiations.

These behavior patterns are very simple. So, the first gesture is “to the foot” (Fig. 27). It means: "Take a humiliated pose." The continuation of this gesture is a movement towards the genital area. On the conscious level, this is just an accentuation of attention, and on the subconscious level, it’s the same thing that the monkey leader does in relation to a male of a lower rank: “You are not a male, but just a female, cover the phallus with your front paws and take a humiliated pose.”

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Another gesture is a wide hand movement, without finger movements (Fig. 28). It means: “This is your pasture. I will allocate it to you. Go and feed." It is very effective to use this gesture in conjunction with the previous one (Fig. 29). This combination seems to say: “Here is your pasture. If you assume humiliated postures, graze on it as much as you like." For example, out loud: “We will create all conditions for effective work small business."

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And two gestures almost simultaneously: "Of course, those who want to graze will also have to make some efforts, that is, everyone will take humiliated poses." These hand movements are imperceptible, but they act bypassing consciousness.

Gesture saying: "Stop, shut up" (Fig. 30). With your words you say, "Please continue, I'm listening to you," but your gesture says, "Stop, stop, stop."

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Another stopping gesture (Fig. 31). You make this gesture and say: “Come in, please,” but your interlocutor will hesitate at the door. He received two mutually exclusive commands - in words he was told: "Come in, please," but the gesture indicated to him: "Get out," and as a result he can neither enter nor leave.

In words: “Forgive me for what you said, repeat,” and with a gesture: “Stop, stop, stop.” And the interlocutor is silent or mumbles something indistinct.

Rice. 31

Gesture summing up (Fig. 32). The words may be: “Let's talk about this again,” and the gesture says: “Summarizing, that's it. We have finished the debate, let's move on to general questions.

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Gesture of self-presentation: “I”, “I”, “I”, “Here I am”, “Look at me!”, says this gesture. It can be done with one hand or two (Fig. 33, 34).

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There are a number of combinations using the self-presentation gesture. For example, a bunch meaning "Attention to me" (Fig. 35) Yushchenko loves to do it very much. These two gestures say: “Attention!”, “Attention to me”, “What they say, it doesn’t matter - attention to me!”. Another combination, using the gesture "to the foot" - "Obey me" (Fig. 36). The same Yushchenko likes to use a bunch of gestures that actively attract attention.

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As a rule, he makes three gestures in a row - “to the leg”, “here I am”, “attention on me.” This is not good and not bad, he just has such a style of communication. He says: "Take a humiliated pose towards me" and "Listen carefully to me." And this technique allows him to seek attention even where they do not want to listen to him. With it, too, for certain, good psychologists work.

Another combination using the gesture of self-presentation means "Only me" (Fig. 37). Out loud, you say: “Few can cope with this task,” and the gesture clarifies: “In fact, only me!”.

The impact of gestures still largely depends on the country in which they are used. For example, the gesture recommended by Alan Pease and Dale Carnegie (Fig. 38). For them, it means openness.

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And with us - "Nothing happened", that is, the recognition of one's insignificance. Forget this gesture.

Gestures can say a lot, almost anything. For example, in seminars, I like to use a bunch of gestures “stop”, “here I am”, “attention on me”, “take a humiliated pose”, “here is your pasture” to concentrate the attention of the audience. It can be translated as follows: “Stop talking, I am the one who knows the answers to your questions, so we respectfully catch my every word, and you will be happy.”

In order to use gestures correctly and influence the interlocutor with them, you need to repeat them several times during the conversation. There are few of these gestures, you just need to remember them, and be able to launch them in time. This is quite enough for any constructive dialogue.

There is another super exercise for suppression of will, which I really like. Moreover, as a rule, no one understands what the essence of this action is.

After all, many actions go around consciousness. For example, one competitor managed to disrupt the performance of a great flutist. He sat down in the front row, took out a lemon, began to cut the lemon wedges and chew them. The flutist saw this, and his mouth filled with saliva. The concert was canceled, but it is unlikely that the musician realized what was the reason for this.

So, we are modeling the behavior of a dominant male who suppresses a low-ranking one. I recommend using a thick marker or twelve-color pen for this exercise. They are most suitable in terms of volume as a phallic symbol. A thin student pen is not suitable - it will not give the desired association. Smokers can use a cigar case.

When talking to a person, I point a pen (a phallic symbol) at him at an angle of about 45 degrees and perform certain manipulations with it. This gesture means - low-ranking male, take a humiliated pose, you are not a male, but just a female. For the interlocutor, these actions cause discomfort. He does not understand what exactly I am doing, therefore he cannot object, but his internal protest will increase until it is completely suppressed.

For women, this exercise has the opposite effect - positively, it causes a lot of positive emotions in them. You talk with a lady about different things - about flowers, about nature, about the weather - and perform certain manipulations with a pen or marker. After some time, you will notice the appearance of a number of interesting phenomena in the lady - accentuated chest breathing, uneven blush on her cheeks, sparkle in her eyes, swallowing reflex. We have already said that in human society the concepts of "male" and "female" are shifted. Therefore, ladies can safely use this exercise, and the man will feel uncomfortable. Yes, he is talking to a lady, but at the moment this lady is holding a phallic symbol and playing the role of a dominant male who gives the command: “Low-ranking, take a humiliated pose!”.

When I spoke about this technique of influence at a corporate training in one of the companies, an interesting picture emerged. At meetings, the first person began to periodically shout at subordinates: “Come on, put down your pen!”, “So, everyone put their pens on the table!” Because at first my lectures were listened to by the middle link of the company, and the first person considered himself too important and big to attend my training. And all the subordinates sat with their hands pointed at the leader and manipulated them. He became very ill, and he asked me to work with him separately. Naturally, after class, the first thing he demanded was that everyone stop pointing their hands at him and manipulating his mind.

Feminine charm lies in the alternate presentation of two things:

a) full sexual availability;

b) complete sexual inaccessibility.

- Sit up straight, take a deep breath, exhale. Slowly cross your legs, do not cross your arms. Take another deep breath, straighten your hair, take another breath, widen your eyes and narrow them. Look at the man with admiration, as if you opened a catalog of new jewelry and admire him. Take another deep breath in and out through your chest. Swallow. Slowly cross one leg over the other. Fix your hair with a beautiful gesture.

This is a presentation of your sexual availability.

“After two minutes, look at the man as if he just blew his nose on the floor, urinated in front of your eyes in a corner, or delivered a long obscene tirade - that is, with a mixture of disgust and horror. And even slightly move away from him.

This is a presentation of sexual unavailability.

- Now cross your legs again, inhale deeply, widen and narrow your eyes, straighten your hair, make a swallowing movement and slowly cross one leg over the other.

Alternately repeating these two tactics of behavior, you will very soon achieve that the fuses in a man begin to melt.

Male charm lies in the simultaneous presentation of two things:

a) full sexual readiness;

b) lack of sexual initiative.

You must show the female that you are fascinated to the limit. But at the same time, you should not try to grab her by the protruding parts of the torso, make an appointment with her, and the like.

- Take your hands out of your pockets. Take a deep breath in through your chest and straighten your shoulders. Look at a woman with a smart, masculine expression. Expand your eyes, then narrow and slowly lower your gaze to the level of the interlocutor's bust. Then slowly and reluctantly raise your eyes up. Ask again: "Excuse me, what were we talking about?" - pretending that you listened or lost the thread of the conversation.

- Now inhale again, straighten your shoulders, stretch slightly and look down at the level of the lady's lower limbs, reluctantly raise your eyes up again, simultaneously wiping saliva from your chin. And keep talking about whatever you want - about nature, about the weather, about politics, about growth growth ...

The technique for this exercise is very simple. This is a model of charm. You don't seem to be doing anything, but you're having an impact, and a very strong one. You just look at a woman and at the same time periodically get lost in communication. Remember - women forgive men for stupidity, but not lack of attention.

Gestures can be used to perform programming, including erotic psychoprogramming of the interlocutor. This technique is based on associative thinking.

First option: stroking any surface. This should be done imperceptibly, with soft caressing movements.

Second option: soft rounded gestures, imitating the basic caressing movements. You talk about anything, but in the course of the conversation, you perform a series of similar gentle caressing movements.

With peripheral vision, a woman will certainly notice your movements - stroking the surface or rounded gestures - and unconsciously begins to transfer them to her torso. After some time, the woman will begin to fall into an excited state, not understanding why this is happening. It is enough for you to perform a similar technique once or twice, and when you appear for the third time, no technique will be needed anymore.

Remember the great and wise Ivan Petrovich Pavlov. The bell rings - the monkey was given a banana. The second call - she received a second banana. The third call - nothing was given, but the monkey is drooling, because she is waiting for a banana. Humans react in exactly the same way as Pavlovian monkeys. And you, having appeared for the third time, immediately evoke the reaction you need in a woman.

The story of the crime boss Sergei Mansurov, to whom the investigator brought a revolver to the cell for interrogation, is very indicative. She could not help but know that she would be imprisoned for this. She just became a victim of this simple erotic zombie.

The funny thing is that the female does not understand what you are doing! She begins to wind herself up on the materials of the books she read, the films she watched, the stories she heard - and finds in you features that you never had, endows you with qualities that you have never been different from.

A woman can also affect members of the same sex, because ninety-eight percent of all women are bisexual, and only two percent of this component is missing, and two percent can be neglected. But only thirty percent of their bisexuality is aware, and sixty-eight live their whole lives without realizing it.

If the woman being manipulated is aware of her bisexual nature, she will admire the manipulative woman, say: "Oh, what she is!" If she is not aware of her nature, she will admire the intelligence, intelligence or some other qualities of her interlocutor. But the main thing is that she will still admire.

Men's worldview is an order of magnitude more primitive than women's. And it is even easier to influence men than women. This is done in four simple facial movements. I draw your attention to the fact that the technique described below is performed exclusively by women and exclusively in relation to men!

First phase- push the lower lip two to three millimeters forward. Return to starting position.

Second phase- push the upper lip two to three millimeters forward. Return to starting position.

Third phase- push both lips forward two to three millimeters. Return to starting position.

Fourth phase- run the tongue along the inner surface of the lips without opening them.

These four movements are enough. At the same time, when talking with a man, one should periodically look down at the lower abdomen, and then slowly and reluctantly raise it up. In males, “plugs” begin to burn out after about three minutes.

This is erotic psychoprogramming aimed at males. It is imperceptible, but it triggers associative thinking in men. The male begins to fall into an excited state, not understanding why this is happening. Since the attention is anchored on you, it begins to look for some properties in you, to endow you with some features that you never had.

At first glance, the technique may seem primitive, but it works very effectively. Any woman can experiment and will certainly succeed. However, after that, she may face another, more difficult task - how to get rid of this man.

Have you ever quarreled with your loved one? Have you ever had to do something after such a quarrel that you later regretted? Do you know the situation when you thought about some idea for a long time, in order to then voice it, for example, to your boss at work, but after a conversation with him, you left the office squeezed like a lemon, and even with the need to lead a completely different project? Have you ever had to make unnecessary promises or make ridiculous commitments while communicating with someone?

If you answered yes to at least one of the proposed questions, then you have experienced from your own experience that this is psychological pressure. Unfortunately, communication with people around us, including even those closest to us, is not always free from manipulation and attempts to influence us. Knowing how to resist psychological pressure is not at all a whim and not pumping your skills, but a real life necessity.

Types of psychological pressure

Before we talk about what are the ways to protect against psychological attacks, it makes sense to briefly recall the most common forms of such attacks. Let's present them in ascending order of negative potential.

Rhetorical questions

One of the most common forms psychological pressure is asking rhetorical questions. For example, you may be asked: “Well, why are you so worthless?”, “Do you even understand what you are doing?” or "Do you understand what you just did?" etc. Trying to answer such questions does not make much sense, as well as ignoring them, because by doing so you either admit that you are wrong (it is quite likely that this is not the case at all), or show disrespect to the interlocutor.

To fend off such a psychological attack, you can continue the question and give some kind of positive answer, for example: “Yes, I understand what I did, and I did it because ...” Thus, in a number of situations, you can solve the problem, even with the help of a lively , but quite a constructive argument. Despite this, if you do not know how to resist psychological pressure, most likely, you will only aggravate the situation.

Guilt

In any communicative situation, it is important to understand that everyone has their own truth, and the line between truth and lies can be fuzzy. The same events are often perceived differently by different people. And on this "trick" many manipulators build their psychological attacks, putting pressure on the interlocutor. This is a very clever trick and with people who do not have tricks psychological protection, it works flawlessly.

To counter this technique, it is helpful to start by playing along with the manipulator so that its pressure does not increase. Further, you should not take on any unnecessary obligations or promise something that you are not going to keep. There is also a more radical method - just answer the person with a refusal. Although these methods do not always work. Manipulators know this, and using guilt is one of the most powerful techniques in their arsenal.

Massive attack

This technique is typical for people who put psychological pressure on a person who has all the powers not to do what they want from him. Often found in business and at work. The technique consists in the fact that the addressee of the manipulation begins to be attacked from all sides by various methods by people interested in resolving the situation in their favor.

For example, if a representative of the “weak” side does not want to sign a contract during the negotiations, the “strong” side begins to put pressure on him. This can be expressed in endless calls, constant visits of representatives to the office of the victim of attacks, huge amounts of emails, etc. The bottom line is that a person cannot withstand such psychological pressure and simply gives up under the onslaught of an opponent.

And here are a few more methods of psychological pressure of this kind:

• a massive attack on the client is carried out;
• in organizations, a massive attack is made on managers (for example, to increase salaries) or ordinary employees (for example, to dismiss);
• in the activities of collection agencies, a massive attack on debtors is carried out, etc.

A skillful psychological attack can unsettle even a persistent and strong person, not to mention those who are not ready for such aggression against themselves. There are two best ways to protect yourself from it:

• the victim talks separately with each member of the "campaign" against himself and explains his position;
• the victim enters into negotiations with the main opponent and resolves all issues with him.

The adoption of such measures is quite effective, but still does not give an absolute guarantee of victory over the manipulator.

direct threat

This method of psychological pressure is not distinguished by the need for a special intelligence in the aggressor, but is very effective. When someone openly threatens the interests of a person, especially what is very important and valuable for him, it is extremely difficult for him to refuse. But even here there is one BUT: far from always a threatening person is able to realize his threats. However, the point is not even whether this will happen or not, but in the very impact on the psyche.

Often, direct threats should be considered as an indicator that they want to negotiate with you, and for a manipulator you are a fairly serious opponent. But even here it must be remembered that if a person were capable of some kind of decisive action, he would not threaten, but immediately began to act. So a good way to behave in the presence of a direct threat is to follow the initially chosen plan. (Here we recall that we are talking about communication situations that do not concern such things as a threat to health or life. In these cases, you need to use other methods, including methods).

These are the most common methods of psychological pressure. As you noticed, when describing them, we also indicated the most simple ways fight them. But not always and not all people can always be calm, control the course of communication and analyze what is happening. Often emotions take over, and then you have to forget about composure. It is precisely at such moments that it is necessary to apply methods of protection against psychological aggression.

Below we will introduce you to several such methods, so after reading the article, your defensive arsenal will be replenished with new types of “weapons”. However, before moving on to these methods, watch a short video.

5 Simple Tricks to Protect Against Psychological Pressure

The described techniques are very simple to use, and anyone can master them. By and large, many of us unconsciously already use them, but the maximum effect can still be obtained if two conditions are met: understand that you are using a specific technique, and understand what you are using it for. At first glance, these are small things, but in reality they are of great importance.

So, here are these five simple tricks:

1. To reduce psychological pressure in the process of communication, place objects between you and the interlocutor. These can be chairs, a table, some interior elements. Even small things, such as putting an ashtray on the table or holding a cup of coffee to your mouth, can reduce your susceptibility to the psychological onslaught of the interlocutor.
2. If you notice that someone is exerting psychological pressure, take it. Crossing your legs, crossing your arms, lowering your head and looking down from under your brows, you protect your vital organs and energy points. Such poses are not just called closed, because they really close a person for the perception of other people's signals.
3. In addition to real barriers between yourself and the interlocutor, you can create mental barriers. Choose what seems to you the most powerful protection: a wall of water, ice or fire, a glass jar or a cloud of gray smoke, a force field or even a spacesuit. Remember how in childhood, when playing, we said: "I'm in the house"? This is also not without reason, because thoughts have the ability to influence our perception.
4. When someone is pushing you at home or at work, divert their attention. To do this, you can choose anything that will not allow the interlocutor to concentrate. Take a glass of water in your hands and start watering the flowers, turn on the water, open a magazine on a page with a girl in a swimsuit ... You can do something that knocks down the interlocutor: if you are a man, cough, or hit your palm with your fist; if you are a woman, effectively cross your legs or bend down beautifully behind an allegedly fallen hairpin, etc. To reduce the strength of the psychological impact of a partner, any distraction is effective. The main thing is that it looks natural, and also does not repeat too often.
5. If you have, defense against psychological attack can be turned into a fun game. To do this, mentally remove the interlocutor from the image in which he currently appears. Introduce an important and pompous interlocutor as a court jester; a scarecrow stuffed with hay; a naked baby doll that jumped out of the bath; clumsy penguin, etc. The most important thing is to choose an absolutely ridiculous image, thanks to which any psychological pressure will be minimized.

Agree that it will not be difficult to become skilled in these techniques? We think that you will cope with this task successfully. But do not rush to close the page and run towards the manipulators. Next, we will reveal a few more useful tricks.

Effective fight against psychological pressure: algorithm of actions

Anyone who has had to face psychological pressure at work, in the company of friends, relatives or not very familiar people, knows that as soon as you relax and get confused, you suddenly begin to behave like an unreasonable child. Someone immediately begins to defend himself, someone hides his head in the sand, and someone succumbs to the influence of the manipulator and does what he is told. What response to such stress will be adequate and optimal?

The very first thing you need to do (and learn how to do) is to calmly perceive the incoming flow of information, stop emotional perception and begin to study the situation. Ideally, this should be done in one step and take a meager amount of time. And things like:

• start breathing deeply and focus on breathing;
• start slowly counting to ten (can be done together with breathing);
• begin to carefully consider the interlocutor (here you need to pay attention to his appearance and behavior in order to find something that characterizes him as a person).

But psychologists advise a more interesting way: start to notice how the state of your partner changes in the process of communication. For example, catch where he is looking and how his eyes run; correlate his facial expressions and gestures with the content of the words. Some people look away when you start watching them closely, others become nervous, start fingering, fiddling with the tip of their jacket or clicking a pen, etc. By such manifestations, one can more or less accurately determine the true intentions and motives of the interlocutor, as well as understand what state he is in.

So: at the moment when you manage to become a "researcher", i.e. start to study the situation, you can begin to find out exactly what kind of influence the psychological aggressor is trying to have on you. And if you make sure that a person is exerting psychological pressure, do not hesitate and start defending yourself competently and professionally using the algorithm presented below.

Step 1 - ask questions

The purpose of asking questions is to gain time to think about the situation in general and your behavior in particular. You can directly ask your interlocutor if you can disagree with him in what he says to you. If he answers you yes, you can simply point it out and give him a negative answer to his request. If you feel that there is some kind of dependence in your relationship, find out what the consequences may be if you refuse.

The main condition is to clearly see the relationship between the words and actions of the interlocutor and your reactions. It often happens that the manipulator hides his manipulations, as a result of which he does not want to be exposed, so direct questions can make him retreat. This is especially true in situations where other people are present.

In the case when the relationship between your actions and the actions of your opponent is clearly visible from the very beginning, questions will help you get some time to think about your future behavior. Clarifying questions, such as:

• Why did you decide that I don't want to take responsibility?
• Why do you think I'm responsible for this?
• What exactly should I be responsible for?
• What makes you think I'm scared?
• What do you think I should be afraid of?
• Do you think that I have no right to refuse? Why?
• Are you sure what you're saying? Why?
• Why do you think so?

The main task when asking questions will be to find out the reasons why the interlocutor is in a winning position. Once you have time, move on to the next step.

Step 2 - Determine Your Opponent's Advantage

At the second stage, you need to understand how the aggressor exerts psychological pressure, how he plans to influence you. By understanding this, you will get a chance to organize a more powerful defense. Perhaps the opponent thinks he can influence you by raising his voice or shouting. In this case, you do not need to succumb to pressure. You just have to wait until the fuse of the aggressor weakens, and after that express your point of view.

It is possible that the manipulator will try to put pressure on you with the help of third parties present nearby. If so, then there is no need to lower your head. Pay attention to other people's reactions. You can even feel free to start looking at them. The mere fact that you are non-verbally addressing those present will cause them to give you some kind of feedback. The unanimity of third parties is very rare, so one of them may take your point of view. Yes, and the banal silence of others can be used to your advantage.

Remember that you cannot be psychologically broken, so you need to object slowly and calmly. Any tricks of the aggressor can be questioned or weakened if you are careful. When, for example, the interlocutor refers to some kind of authority, you can indicate that this technique is not suitable for the current situation. And if, for example, the aggressor points to his experience or age, you need to find arguments based on your experience and age.

If you want to keep the prospect of cooperation, you do not need to discount the opponent's arguments. It is better to somehow limit their applicability, using objective considerations for this. Here a person says that you have been communicating for a long time and helped him before, and that now he is again waiting for help. Relationships should not be underestimated. It is much more effective to point out the real reasons why you cannot help at the moment.

When the aggressor uses rush communication against you (at an increased pace), you need to come up with a way to stop him. You can say that you need to urgently call, go to the bathroom, send an email, etc. Any adequate pretext will help you reduce the pressure of your opponent, take a break and, knowing what the interlocutor is counting on, putting pressure on you, find your own method of pressure.

Step 3 - Determine Your Benefits

What can you use to help yourself? There are many options: support from third parties, reference to past positive experience, own merits, functions performed, authority, etc. But it’s better not to use reciprocal pressure, especially if the relationship with the manipulator is important to you for some reason.

It is best to build your arguments so that both you and the aggressor clearly understand the connection between your judgments. And if you offer your own solution to the problem, it is more competent to make it so that it is a compromise, i.e. suited both you and your communication partner.

Remember that your responses should not be too assertive, and even if you manage to successfully parry attacks, you should not show your superiority. Your task is to balance the balance, and not aggravate the situation and provoke conflict. And after the psychological pressure on you weakens, you can show your business qualities by offering cooperation.

Step 4 - Propose a Collaboration

Negotiating with a psychological aggressor is the best way to resolve a negative situation, because in this way you, firstly, make sure that you have managed to successfully apply psychological defense techniques, and secondly, let your interlocutor understand that in the future attempts to put pressure on you won't lead to anything good.

Of course, you can “cut off the ends” and permanently end the relationship with the aggressor, but in cases with loved ones or those with whom you will be forced to communicate, this option will not work. Therefore, a focus on long-term cooperation is the best choice. The same applies to situations where, for some reason, you still have to make some concessions.

Achieving a compromise is also beneficial because you will have the opportunity to explain to your partner the incorrectness of his behavior. That is why it is recommended to refrain from accusations and even more so from threats. Having come to a mutually beneficial agreement, you will prevent psychological attacks in the future, because your partner will remember how the past situation ended. This allows you to set up psychological manipulators to build constructive relationships.

Thus, we have a clear algorithm of actions when someone exerts psychological pressure:

1. Use questions to get extra time to think about the situation and determine the advantages of the aggressor.
2. Determine the advantages of the aggressor, i.e. those methods of pressure that he uses or intends to use.
3. Determine your advantages, i.e. those methods of counteraction that will be appropriate and effective in a given situation.
4. Align the balance of power and offer cooperation, for example, to come to a solution that is beneficial for everyone.

We advise you to always adhere to the techniques proposed in the article and the algorithm for protecting against psychological pressure, because at home, at work or in the company of friends, in most cases it is necessary to maintain good relationships. At the same time, we are well aware that these methods are not suitable for every situation, so you need to master other techniques to resist manipulators.

You can get acquainted with some of them in our article "", and Igor Vagin - candidate will tell you about some of them in this short video medical sciences, an experienced psychotherapist, business coach and specialist in sales, negotiations and personnel management.

For them to become accommodating. Many of us know how to manipulate people's behavior with positive emotions, but the "dark side" is just as intriguing.

Even if a person is not going to use these techniques, he is unlikely to pass by the article "How to psychologically crush a person." The desire for destruction is as natural as the good ways of mankind.

Many rulers built their policy precisely on the fact that they made the population complaisant, instilling fear. Society becomes weak and depressed, which means it can be controlled.

Today you will learn what methods of pressure exist, several tactics used by the KGB and other special services, I will offer you several books if you want to deepen your knowledge, and I will also give you a couple useful tips for those who are going to use all these tricks. Generally, .

Strategies

There are many directions in the field of psychological pressure on the enemy, and I would like to talk about the main directions.

Physical-psychological influence

The first strategy involves the physical impact, and only then the mental one. This is one of the most unfavorable ways, in some manifestations its use is illegal, but nevertheless it is used in practice, which means that I cannot but mention it.

First, a physical effect is manifested in relation to a person. For example, in a fight. After he felt the superiority of the opponent, they begin to “break” him psychologically. It is no longer so important what exactly the person says, he suppresses the interlocutor more and more deeply, causes panic fear in him and makes him complaisant.

This is one of the most unfavorable methods, since the "victim" is only interested in one thing - by any means available for this. He may, in order not to contact the aggressor, try to influence him with the help of law enforcement agencies or in some other way involve third parties.

Books

If you want to learn a little more about methods of psychological pressure in order not to become a victim or to apply some technologies yourself, before I move on to useful recommendations, I will offer you several books on this topic.

The first one belongs to the Legendary Bestsellers series. It's about about the book The Psychology of Influence by Robert Cialdini: what means exist, commitment and consistency, reciprocity, . This guide contains softer tricks than I described in this article. The reader will get much more benefit from them, and why - I will tell a little later.

Another book that can help you solve all your problems without calling the other person names or making them emotional with silence is How to Outsmart Anyone: A Practical Guide by William Poundstone. Both of these books can be downloaded from LitRes.

We do not always succeed in the manipulative techniques that he uses. However, each person has an innate identification of such situations. A long stay in stress, acts destructively and a person seeks to get rid of this pressure.

We must not forget that in such cases it is almost impossible to predict the behavior of a particular person. No matter how you plan, he can do something completely different. It depends on many properties of the psyche that cannot be predicted. Behavior may not be rational or logical.

Strive to use positive methods of influence and communication to avoid unexpected situations. Don't forget to also subscribe to my blog. See you again.

Among the many different options for the negotiation scenario, the option of psychological suppression of the interlocutor is one of the most common. Especially often it is used when the position of one side is obviously superior to the other, or as a continuation of perseverance on one's own, after a soft position of communication. In the first case, this is usually active pressure from the very beginning of the dialogue between people, excessive self-confidence, pre-prepared arguments in their favor, the use of the third voice mode - loud, clear expressive speech, with an emphasis on the main points, with frequent interruption of the interlocutor, a smirk or even laughter over his words. All this suppresses the interlocutor, makes him worry and nervous, doubt himself, feel discomfort and aggression on your part.

Very often, this option of negotiations gives a positive result, but not in the case when your interlocutor behaves similarly, and therefore it is fundamental for him not to give in to you, even to the detriment of his own interests. And also, if your dialogue does not solve the problem immediately, then the person may change his mind and most likely will do just that, despite the initial concession. This can also be called the Chinese "yes", which later turns out to be the word "no". If we consider the second option for applying this method of pressure on the interlocutor, then it is also very often used, especially in law enforcement agencies. You have probably watched films where the concept of an evil and a good cop is often used. Two people play opposite roles, thereby forcing the person to agree to more lenient terms. This really has a great effect on the human psyche, and this technique can be used independently.

You can start from a soft position, and in case of no concession to you, move on to a tough one, with psychological suppression of the interlocutor, using the methods that I described above. Or, on the contrary, you can start from a tough position, suppress your interlocutor until a certain point, and then take a soft position, all with the same conditions that are beneficial to you. For your interlocutor, this will be a great alternative to resolve a tense situation, to remove the burden that you have loaded on him. All of these methods work well, especially with insecure people who are used to losing. The effectiveness of psychological pressure on the interlocutor, of course, is quite high, but it is worth remembering that people really do not like it when they are pressured, no matter what character they have.

If you are negotiating about some kind of deal or signing an agreement, after which your interlocutor will fade into the background, then the use of pressure will be appropriate. Any showdowns and verbal skirmishes can also be effectively resolved through pressure on the opponent. But if your goal is long-term cooperation with people on whom your well-being will depend, then I do not recommend you to use psychological pressure in this case. You can demonstrate high self-confidence, people like it, especially women who see in a man, first of all, a strong male.

No need to show aggression and disrespect for the interlocutor, for long-term cooperation this is bad. The confidence you demonstrate alone can overwhelm the interlocutor, especially if you have a lot of arguments in your favor and again use the third voice mode, that is, a loud and clear voice, with an emphasis on the right things. Never doubt yourself, and in your speech, at least do not show it, otherwise psychological pressure will be used against you. This can certainly be resisted, and I will definitely write about how to do it.

But the most important thing I want to tell you is that there is no one hundred percent guarantee for any communication tactics, everywhere there are pluses and minuses. Psychological pressure, of course, is very effective in most cases, but it also happens that it harms and does nothing but lead to a negative attitude towards you and breaking all ties with you. Therefore, try to look for the most appropriate communication option, appropriate in each specific situation, which is mainly aimed at obtaining a positive result for you.